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When we lose someone close, especially if it happens suddenly, the bad memories fade over time and all that remain with the living family members are fond, beautiful memories. Everything is remembered with a rose hue and the departed are put on a pedestal too.
AJ seems to be a one woman type of guy and he must have been a great husband to Antra. When she died so young and so tragically, he must have been grieving but also carrying mountains of guilt around, which unfortunately hasn't crumbled over the years.
Guddan has heard so much about the AJ-Antra love story that she is in awe of it, and considers it aspirational, which is why she does not even consider that she could ever come close to sharing that kind of a bond with AJ. For her, it is like reaching for the moon. Even though she told AJ that she had once dreamed of holding her husband's hand and looking at the stars, her present dreams for her married life (and potential love story) are much more rooted in reality as she has her feet firmly planted on the ground. She knows things are complicated but she doesn't fail to find joy in the little events and shared experiences. Just this entire situation with AJ and the unknown woman he was supposedly seeing, and the subsequent discovery about Angad, has been a huge eye-opener for Guddan, showing her a different facet to AJ.
I loved her (one-sided) conversation with Antra today - it was like two friends sharing their opinions of a mutual acquaintance, in this case husband. It was as though she considered Antra to be a confidante but also someone to look up to, someone who would always overshadow Guddan's presence in AJ's life, and someone who in her mind seems to have been the perfect saas, bahu, biwi, and behen. Most importantly, she sees Antra as someone who saw AJ in his "prime" when he was full of life and had all the colors in his life to share, something she wonders if she will see anytime soon.
We know that Guddan doesn't need to worry about "matching up" to Antra as far as AJ is concerned, but she doesn't really know that. I will give Dadi and AJ huge credit for never making her feel inadequate or comparing her to Antra. They know she's a different person and they accept her for who she is. She has made her own place in their lives. Dadi won't love her less than Antra, just differently, because one always has a soft spot for the departed ones. I remember one episode where she mentioned how traumatized she was after losing her darling bahu and how Guddan brought back colors into Dadi's life. We mustn't forget that one of the reasons AJ is so fond of Guddan is because of her bond with his mother, the person he loves the most in the world (besides Angad now).
AJ, too, doesn't expect Guddan to be of a certain "standard". There are things about her that annoy him and that he tries to correct or point out, but he is fine with her character and nature otherwise. She is building new memories with him that will not replace his memories and feelings during his time with Antra, but will occupy a different space in his heart and mind.
Unless Antra was a vamp, which I highly doubt, I don't think AJ will be able to quantify the love he has for both wives. Antra was his first love and that will never change. Guddan is his final life partner and will be with him much longer (assuming he doesn't die early of a heart attack due to her antics). 😉
There are no photos of Antra in their house, only this majestic painting that gives her a regal look, as the queen of the house and of AJ's heart. In hindsight, no matter what their relationship was like, AJ's love for Antra is always going to seem perfect to him (and possibly those around him), and it's tragic end only cemented this notion.
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