CHAPTER 19
"Roshni ki Engagement" These words kept ringing through his mind...
Anger bubbled inside him and he destroyed everything he could lay his hands on, whether it was a coffee mug, .useless files, bed covers...pillows cushions.
Everything in his bedroom was now lying on the floor,.completely destroyed
He felt...restless.
Every cell in his body wanted to scream and shout. His head was pounding, and his hands were tickling to get his hands on something to break...
"Yo. .what happened here?" Karan asked hesitantly as he entered and saw the dishevelled room
Sidharth clutched his fists and closed his eyes trying to keep his emotions in check
"Ahhh nothing. ..was looking for an important file!"
Karan shook his head... "Seriously?" He asked raising an eyebrow
"Not now KARAN. I'm not on the mood for your interrogation! "
There was a moment of silence.
"Its hurting nah?"
Sidharth looked at him, as he tried to smile
"What are you talking about Karan?
"Since you heard about Roshni engagement, something inside you broke. Your heart broke into a zillion pieces. And no matter what you say. It's killing you"
Sidharth turned his face away...avoiding eye contact
"The pain. The wounds of your heart...NOTHING WILL BE ABLE TO HEAL THEM...except Roshni"
Sidharth looked at him, and rolled his eyes "Not NOW KARAN!"
"For God sake..just admit you love her and you can't live without her! Before its too late dammit" Yelled Karan
"For Heaven's sake! I don't love her" growled Sidharth
"And if I hear the word love again, I swear I'll use you as my punching bag this time!" Hissed Sidharth
Karan smiled sadly at him
"You can do whatever you want to me. But please, let Roshni heal your heart. Give Love a chance . Admit your love for her. Stop this stupid engagement before it's too late!" urged Karan, hurt seeing his friend like this
Sidharth closed his eyes again. His path wasn't clear to him. He himself didn't know what he wanted anymore, but refused to break down down in front of Karan
"Sid" called Karan "You're okay nah? " he sounded worried
He smiled at him and walked over to his cupboard
"I'm fine" but his eyes told another story
"I'm always here for you Sid. Remember that" he said as he placed a hand on his shoulder, to which Sidharth just nodded his head slightly
With an anxious heart, Sidharth made his way downstairs where all the preparations for the Ceremony were complete.
He felt more restless than he had ever felt before.
"Good your ready Sidharth. The Patel will be here any moment. AND PLEASE BE NICE TO THEM!" and sighed "Kash Roshni meri bahu. .." but she stopped seeing Misha walk in
"But humari kismet mein Yeh chudail dayaan hai" she mumbled under her breath
"Hi everyone. Misha chirped as she passed french kiss to Simmi and Raj. Much to Simmi annoyance.
Sidharth tried to smile back without looking nervous, and straightened his tie a couple of times
"Hey Sid" she tried to hug him, but he backed away"
"Hi Misha...Ah Mom Dad..I won't be here for the ring ceremony. I have an important meeting... .so...ah..If you'll excuse me!" With this Sidharth rushed out the door as fast as he could..
He felt suffocated and he needed the air..to clear his mind. .
As he stormed out the door
BAMB ...He bumped into someone!
Roshni got startled seeing him right in front of her and lost her balance.
She stumbled and landed in his arms...
His one arm slide around her shoulder to pull her near and the other wrapped around her waist, preventing her from falling to the ground.
Her both arms were wrapped around his neck to save herself from getting hurt. Her eyes closed
Sidharth was in a trance. She was even more beautiful than ever and the word "Roshni" escaped his lips as a mere whisper
She breathed in his aftershave from his neck, as she slowly opened her eyes to look at him, and he inhaled her scent, which intoxicated him once again.
He could hear her heartbeat near his chest. It reminded him of all three closeness that they had shared in college.
Both looked away each other with the same intensity, that was coursing through their blood
She was pure beauty. Innocence covered her face...
"God why does she have to be so beautiful. Her long silky stresses, her beautiful chocolate brown eyes and her peachy soft flawless skin..she was simply irresistible. .." he was lost. Totally lost.
Both shared an intense eye lock. ..as their hearts rejoiced being together again.
Both of them could not think straight. Swallowing hard she looked into his eyes, unable to blink. Sidharth gaze lowered to her lion, resisting the urge to kiss her
"Damn why does she have to smell so good. " he thought again... Annoyed with what he was feeling
Their hearts wanted time to stop. Their souls wanted to stay in each others and like this for the rest of their lives.
"ROSHNI! " a voice came breaking their trance
She slowly moved her gaze away from him, as he straightened her up and stepped back reluctantly. He was missing her touch already
"Roshni challo! " DD hissed as she glared angrily at Sidharth
Sidharth was about to greet DD, but she walked away dragging Roshni, without looking at him. He watched them walk into the mansion, and turned to leave...but he couldn't get himself to move.
He stood in his place. His feet refused to move, as his brain processed what to do.
His gaze turned back to the mansion, and unknowingly he walked back to the party.
Roshni smiled weakly as she was hesitant to walk into his home
The inside of the house was just as breathtaking as the outside. From the stunning ceiling, chandeliers hung low and the beautiful decor
Roshni was welcomed by the Khuranas with open arms and she tried to hide her nervousness.
She immediately bent down infront of Simmi and Raj to take their blessings.
"Kisi ki naazar na lage..." smiled Simmi as she kissed her forehead and placed kajal behind her ear
She looked at Misha...and her insides burned as then as memory of that day came flooding back
"My..my...are you the same Nerdy Patel.. You look different..." whispered Misha only audible to Roshni
"Yes. But you still look like the same bimbo you were back then..." making Misha hell angry. Before she could retort back
"Arre Sid. I thought you had an important meeting!" Asked Simmi as he approached her
Without taking his eyes of Roshni he mumbled "Ah...ummm...It was ca...cancelled"
Time past and every now and then his eyes kept drifting back to her. He would look at her for a second and his gaze would lock on her face. He was captured by her. He would state at her whenever she wasn't looking
Roshni eyes remained lowered, Looking at her fingers fidgeting her lashes
He was unable to look away...she had changed over the years..her dress sense, her spectacle were gone..
Her brown chocolate eyes sparkled more than ever. Her lips,.so full so luscious. She was breathtakingly beautiful. ..simple yet so beautiful
The dress was long as it freely touched the ground. It had a deep back with a single dori to keep it steady. A little work on the sleeves and bordersnade it look bewitching
His gaze lowered to her hands, and then he glanced down at his own hands. He remembered the sparks and the tingling he used to feel every time they touched..and a side smile formed on his lips
"Sid" Karan voice snapped him out of his daze
"Hmmm" he replied
"Roshni looking really pretty nah" he teased on purpose
"Haan " he said in a daze, but instantly shrugged his shoulders
"Ahhh...Acha I never noticed, to which Karan shook his head and chuckled
Finally the groom arrived and Sidharth looked at him disapproving..
He was all muscled, and had a fetching look. His clothes were casual, and his hair was curled a midnight black shade, and eyes dark brown. His skin was tanned, and a structure girls would drool over. ..much to Sidharth dislike
"Welcome welcome. Your just on time" he was welcomed by DD and Simmi with such affection, that it made Sidharth skin crawl.
Roshni walked over to him and he immediately hugged HER, then entwined his hand with hers, making Sidharth clench his fists tight..
"Why the Hell is he hugging her...how dare he" frowned Sidharth mentally
"Should we start?" Asked an excited DD
"Of course" replied Simmi happily
The grooms parents gave him the ring and DD gave Roshni hers.
He took her hand in his and gently slid the ring onto her fingers and kissed her forehead, making Roshni shiver..
Sidharth forehead creased, and he frowned..."HE KISSED HER!""the thought went through his mind. His heart beat erratic and clenched his wrists
It was now Roshni turn. With shaky hands, she held his hand, as Sidharth felt his breath hitch in his throat, and slipped the ring finger on his finger.
Sidharth felt as if the floor had slipped from under his feet. As if the world had come to a sudden end. He was finding it difficult to breathe...and he loosened his tie further
The whole room echoed with claps and laughs. Everyone was happy expect Sidharth.
DD hugged Roshni "You know Bacha aaj mein bohut khush hoon. After your father died yeh pehla din hai jab mera muskarane ka maan kar raha hai. You're Happy nah...?"
"Mom...your happy...so I'm happy" smiled Roshni as she wiped away her mother's tears
Roshni could feel Sidharth burning glare on her, so she looked up at him.
Anger. That's all Sidharth could feel at the moment. He felt betrayed yet again. He felt deceived by her. His teeth clenched so tight ready to punch the life out of groom
Sidharth was finding it to hard to keep his calm whilst staring at Roshni. He couldn't move his eyes from the ring on her finger. The ring that was proof that she belonged to someone else. Just the thought of this made his blood boil. And he had no idea why!
The newly engaged couple, received everyone's blessing, and slowly they walked around meeting everyone. Slowly they walked towards Sidharth and Karan. His entire body stiffened seeing her hand laced with his. It was driving him mad
"Hi Karan...Hi. .S. Sidharth" she greeted them both nervously
Sidharth glared at her with all his fury. She needed to know HE WAS NOT HAPPY!!!
"So Rosh aren't you going to introduce us to your fianc" asked Karan, as he watched Sidharth from the corner of his eyes
"Oh haan. .This is Samarendra"
"Samarendra .what sort if fu**ed up name is that!" Thought Sidharth angrily
"And Sam this is Karan and ah... thats Sid..Sidharth" Roshni introduced them
"Sam. .seriously. She has a nick name for him" mumbled Sidharth ...unhappy
Sam extented his hands for a handshake with a smile
SID gave him a "teri maut mere haathon mein likha hai wala look" and then took his hand in his
"Sidharth. Sidharth Khurana! " he said with a pride. Just as Samarendra was about to let go of his hand, Sidharth held his hand tighter, almost squeezing it in his hands. He knew he could feel the pain as his face went pale as he tried to loosen his grip
"Ah Sid. ..let him go!" Nudged Karan
Sidharth faked a smile and finally let go of his hand.
"Nice to meet you" lied Sidharth as Samarendra gave him a faint smile
Everyone seemed happy, but Sidharth felt himself suffocating. Roshni belonged to someone else, and he hated the fact. He was not in the mood for celebrating HER engagement, and took a deep breath and excused himself, giving a final glance at Roshni.
Karan stood scratching his head "Kuch toh karna parega Sheena...before these two Mess up their lives for good"
"But what Honey" replied Sheena and he smirked as an idea come to him
WHILE LATER
"Oops so Sorry Rosh" sighed Sheena as she spilled orange juice all over her
"Its okay Sheena..." and wiped her dress and looked around
"Ummm Roshni come with me...let's get that cleaned up shall we" intervened Karan..."Come follow me" and he deliberately led her to Sidharth bedroom
Sid was pacing up and down his room desperately trying to calm himself when his door opened
"Sid...Bro...Rosh needs to use the washroom..Sheena So clumsy. She dropped orange juice..and ah..."
Sidharth just stood still staring at Roshni intently and nodded his head as she made her way to his bathroom and Karan smiled as he made his exit..His fingers crossed.
Roshni walked out after a while, and saw a jug and quickly poured herself a glass of water
"So enjoying with your Fiance" breathed Sidharth heavily into her neck..causing her to jump
"Huh...woh " she stammered under the proximity ..then sudden jerked him away.
"That's none of your business Mr Khurana" she hissed as she looked him in the eye.
His red eyes we're scaring the shit out of her, and try to leave, only be pulled back by Sidharth
"DON'T. Don't ever walk away when I am talking to you...Oops silly me you have a habbit of just walking away. RIGHT" he pulled her angrily by her waist
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING? STAY AWAY FROM ME" she almost yelled and splashed the water on his face
He looked taken aback as he wiped the water droplets with the back of his palm
"Keep your distance. I just got engaged Mr Khurana and you have no right to hold me like this. So just leave me or else..." she snapped angrily, trying to loosen her grip
"OR ELSE. WHAT WILL YOU DO? KYA KAROGI TUM HAAN?" He hissed as he drilled his eyes into hers.
Unknowingly his nose began to caressed her cheek..giving her goosebumps..
He wrapped his hand around her tighter. Totally intoxicated by her scent. With one hand he pushed away some floating strands behind her ear
"What are you doing" she whispered trying to free herself but he held on more tighter
His gaze went up to her forehead and he remembered that the idiot had kissed her there and he began rubbing that place with his thumb. Trying desperately to delete his touch from her
"Are you mad. What are you doing. Samarendra mera intezar kar raha hai. Leave ME!" Making Sidharth more angry
"Dare you say his name in front of me" and in the heat of the moment, leaned in towards her lips
He grip tightened and leaned in towards her lips...
In the next moment a four finger Mark was pasted on his cheek. He was slapped
"How dare you...Get out of my room before I lose my temper" Sidharth said through gritted teeth looking at her
"Even I'm not interested to stay here" and she ran out
Sidharth stood still for a while
"What the Hell was I doing...What's the Hell wrong with me..." he screamed as he knocked the jug down shattering it to pieces
LATER THAT NIGHT
Sidharth couldn't get Roshni engagement out of his mind
He pounded his fist into the punching bag, time and again. He replayed every word she had said to him, four years ago. Her mistrust...her anger. He let her words feed his anger. His rage.
Blood was pounding in his head, but he didn't stop. He kept pounding at the punch bag.
He felt his whole world had come crashing down without warning...by just the mere thought of her belonging to someone else
What pissed him off the most, was among all the history between them her touch, her scent her closeness affected him the most. He couldn't move past the feeling he felt whenever their hands would touch.
He was busy beating the Hell out of his punching bag, when he heard his door creak open..
"What! " he yelled
There was silence for a few seconds, before he heard Karan voice
"Kab tak apne aap ko saaza do gaye. Just admit it once and for all that you LOVE HER. Admit it! This engagement is tearing you apart! " he attempted to try one more time
"There's still time Sid. Don't make the mistake of letting her go...Don't let your anger win over your love for her"
Karan waited for a reply...but none came
"Ask your heart Sid. What is that feeling when you only have one person on your mind. .What it means when that one person is the center of your world. How it felt when she was around..And how it feels when she is not. Ask your heart...you'll find the answer you are denying yourself. And only then will you find peace
Sidharth stood listening, but pretended otherwise
"Listen to your heart,, before its too late!...before its too late" he repeated
After a moments pause...and no response from Sidharth
Karan came and sat down on the bed
"Just look at yourself. Why are you so angry" inquired Karan
Sidharth clenched his teeth "I'm not angry..but that Samar whatever is name is...He is not perfect for her!" He sighed, unaware of his own words
"Then who is Perfect for her?" Asked Karan
"I don't know...and I don't care!" He said as he dropped onto the sofa helplessly
"I can see that" Karan pointed to him, and he glared at him again
"You said you don't care she's getting married then why are you getting so frustrated? Whats the problem?"
"Problem hai...Problem hai!" He exhaled
"What problem"
"Just forget what I said. I'm just tired...that's all!"
"So you don't care that Roshni is getting married to somebody else?"
"No...I...I...don't care "
Karan sighed..."I GIVE UP. Anyway I'm going home. Just ask yourself honestly, ONE FINAL TIME...What is it you feel for Roshni. Be True to yourself And if it is really hate, then I will never bother you again about her"
Sidharth had listened to each of his words intently, and watched him as he closed the door
Shoving his boxing gloves off, he walked over to his balcony and looked at the peaceful sky..
There he stood for a while, unsure of his feelings..
Karan words lingered in his mind...but his anger wouldn't allow him to focus when he remembered Roshni words
"My Nani always says, the only way to control ones anger is to close your eyes and think of the person, you love most in the world .Seeing that persons face, will bring a smile to your face aur phir Gussa chu mantar ho jaata hai."
Sidharth took a deep breath and closed his eyes.
Instantly images of Roshni flashed before his eyes and his eyes popped open. .
He put his hand over his mouth as his breathing became erratic. ..
"No No way...Let me try once again" and he closed his eyes and there she was. The person he loved most in the world. .
He opened his eyes ..and stood silently for a moment...
"I...I...I love Roshni!" His voice was soft at first then all of a sudden
"I LOVE ROSHNI. OMG! I LOVE ROSHNI"
And suddenly he felt as if a huge burden had been lifted from his chest. He couldn't believe he had the answer all along, and he was looking everywhere for them...but never searched his heart.
"I love her...I really love her! Karan was right. OMG! And I've been such an asshole. So what she had a misunderstanding. .and I should have cleared it. But no...Mr Ego Khurana ego took over" he said as he shook his head, angry with himself. .
Then he found himself smiling
"So this is what they call love..." he smiled like a maniac
"Wow! I'm so much in love with her, and I'm so dumb i didn't realise it.. Now I can see what Karan has been trying to tell me all this time. My anger clouded my love for you Baby...and I'm sorry..."
"I love her..." he kept on repeating over and over again. .
He picked up his mobile and looked at the pics that Sidni no had taken In college and he smiled
"I'm sorry Baby...It took me so long to figure out my feelings. I don't know why you left me, but I won't ask for any explanations. Not now. I know in my heart you must have truly been hurt that day, and had your reasons for taking such a step. But I will do anything to earn your trust back again. ANYTHING "
He caressed the photo gently.
He was finally at peace with himself. He had a never ending smile on his face, and a joy in his heart.
He felt alive
"I thought you didn't need me any more, and that's why you didn't bother to inform me about your leaving. But whatever the reason, whatever your anger was...I don't care. Just because you left me, doesn't mean I'm going to let you go.
If leaving me was your choice, then holding on to you is my choice. You were and will always me mine. ONLY MINE"
He hugged his mobile ad he wiped away a small tear from the corner of his eyes...
"No matter what. .I'll make you mine. If you don't love me..I'll make you fall in love with me. Because ab Yeh dewana zid pe aagaya. Bohut reh liya mera bina Miss Roshni Patel. .now its time to come back to me. .Where you belong.." he signed as he lay back. .
"I'll make you mine..and that's a promise! ".
He was finally at peace with himself...
Edited by shab01 - 7 years ago
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