Dealing with Men's abuse
The biggest hurdle in Men's abuse is acceptance of the situation. Admitting the problem and seeking help doesn't mean you have failed as a man or as a husband.You are not to be blamed, and you are not weak.
Once this hurdle is crossed, the first step is to seek help from organisations that are set up for this purpose. Reach out to them without fear of disbelief and ridicule. They have seen many real cases and are trained to give you legal and emotional advice.
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Some tips for Men who are facing abuse
We have consolidated a list of steps that men should take, if they are facing domestic and other abuse.
Leave, if possible
Be aware of any signs that may trigger a violent response from your spouse or partner and be ready to leave quickly. If you need to stay to protect your children, call the emergency services. The police have an obligation to protect you and your children, just as they do for a female victim.
Never allow yourself to be provoked into any kind of retaliation
An abusive woman or partner will often try to provoke you into retaliating or using force to escape the situation. If you do retaliate, you'll almost certainly be the one who is arrested and/or removed from your home.
Don't be trapped
If there is an argument, try to do it in a room with 2 doors so that you can leave. If a woman/partner blocks the door and you try to move her/other, that will be enough for you to get arrested.
Get evidence of the abuse
Report all incidents to the police and get a copy of each police report. Keep a journal of all abuse with a clear record of dates, times, and any witnesses. Include a photographic record of your injuries and make sure your doctor or hospital also documents your injuries. Remember, medical personnel are unlikely to ask if a man has been a victim of domestic violence, so it's up to you to ensure that the cause of your injuries are documented.
Keep a mobile phone, evidence of the abuse, and other important documents close at hand
If you and your children have to leave instantly in order to escape the abuse, you'll need to take with you evidence of the abuse and important documents, such as passport and driver's license. It may be safer to keep these items outside of the home.
Obtain advice from a domestic violence program
Get advice from organisations that are set up to provide help. Try to obtain legal aid resource about getting a restraining order or order of protection against your spouse and, if necessary, seeking temporary custody of your children.
Get counselling
Do not ignore the effects of stress on your mental well being . Get counselling during this stressful time because such battles have a lasting effect on your mind. Let this not affect your mental health and future happiness.
Reach out to Friends and Family, don't isolate yourself
The biggest mistake that men do in such situation is that they cut themselves off from society. You cut out the most important source of support - your well wishers!! In some situations, your abuser will take advantage of your isolation and spread lies about you. Do not let this happen. Talk to your family members and friends. Contrary to belief, they will understand you.
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Where to get Help
Police/Emergency services of your country should be your first line of contact, if there is danger of physical injury to you or your loved ones.
Here are some important websites that offer support to Men
India
Save Indian Family Foundation
Australia
https://www.dvrcv.org.au/help-advice/men
https://www.oneinthree.com.au/servicesandresources/
U.S. and Canada
The National Domestic Hotline
1-800-799-7233
UK
Men can call the Men's Advice Line free on 0808 801 0327 or ManKind on 01823 334 244
Men's Advice Webiste UK
A last word of advice for parents of boys
Like all good habits, ability to deal with any kind of abuse also begins from childhood. If we educate our boys from the beginning to identify and tackle issues related to abuse, they will be better equipped to fight it in their adulthood.
If we have to give you a single sentence advice , it would be "Treat your son as daughter and take all the necessary precautions for him that you would take for her." Abuse has no gender and the percentage of boys getting abused is increasing alarmingly.
We end this topic by reminding you to stay safe and seek help if you are facing any kind of abuse. You are not alone !!
Reference
Seher Hone Ko Hai
CID
