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"You know if my biopic was ever made, you will play this character...who is very snooty. And completely intolerant of outsiders. Flag bearer of Nepotism."
This is uchit upayog of wi-fi, Rancho thought to himself as he laughed. Eh, why is he cackling like a bewda? Arrre, he remembered after some musing, cause he is drunk. With Farhan and Raju. Remembering his partners in crime he turned to them and grinned at their state. Raju was laughing so hard that drool was about to drip down his chin, while Farhan was not sure if he should continue laughing or handle his specs. Virus ke temper ki tarah hai sala, Rancho thought to himself, handle se bahar.
"Mata Hunterwali." Raju bowed down as if one of the thousand Gods he keeps worshiping suddenly emerged, "Maan gaye apko."
"Total massacare. Saamuhik balat . . . "
"Shhh." Rancho sushed them both, but then the ad came up making them groan collectively. The mute button was on, small sips of cheap alcohol was starting to mess with their senses, but their brain remained hyperactive.
Naturally, Raju was the first one to start, "Baba Ranchordas." He drawled in a dramatically spooky voice, "Give some gyaan to your most devoted Bhakt. He is curious."
"Bako." The Baba in question humoured him by raising his palm to give him blessings. Satisfied, Raju started.
"What is Nepotism baba? I didn't understand, please shed some light."
Farhan started to shake with laughter while Rancho played along, "Nepotism is India's N word. Pata sabko hai, bolta koi nahi."
"Please elaborate further, this bhakt didn't get it."
"Kyunki Raju tu toh gadha hai gadha." Amidst the howl of laughter came Raju's shock and outrage.
"This is nice. Someone wants to know and you two are mocking. Fantastic!"
"Arre senti mat ho." Rancho consoled, finally sobering up, "Let me give you an example. Remember in school, sometimes a rich kid will suddenly join in midst of semester?"
"That is management quota, idiot."
"Not quite." Farhan chimed in, adjusting his heavy specs, "They always have connection. Iska beta, uski behen. Hail the Family! "
"So if rich people is helping their family members that is called Nepotism?" Raju was shocked. This was in front of him the whole time and now he knows?
"Correct! You summed it up." Rancho clicked his bottles with the duo, "It's about giving favors to relatives in various matters- job, education, business, sports."
"According to Wikipedia, the term comes from . . . " Farhan started and was shot down immediately by the collective booing. Traitor sala.
"If I wanted lecture, I would have read by myself."
"In early days in Church, some Popes and Bishops would give their nephews name as legitimate Heir, so that they can get the seat and the position remains in family. Prestige, you see. And in Italian nepos means Nephew. Thus, Nepotism."
"Italian." Rancho mused, "Sahi hai."
"So, if the Bishops had no heir. . . so, does that mean . . . " He lowered his voice and send one thousand prayers to God for this ghor paap, "no hehehehehe?"
"How did your head even go there?!"
Rancho outrageously shuts Raju's futile imagination and asked the important question, "Nepotism is everywhere, how can you even miss?"
"Ab lecture mat de. Maybe you also joined through your Chacha-Mama-Tau." Farhan jibed him, to which he rolled eyes.
"Yep, the spotless record and grades are all made up."
"Marks is nothing. Now look at me. If my Dad was a . . . a . . . Ambani. Yep, Ambani . . . "
"Raju Ambani. Pakka Gujju."
" . . . then I would not have to worry about grades, right? Who cares if I am saatvi fail, I would be in Oxford. Cambridge! USA returned big hot shot! And a job handed on silver platter."
"You don't need to go that far." Farhan spoke up, "Abba ke office mein hi dekha tha. He didn't get promotion even after having 15 years of experience. They took some New York returned dude with fake accent. We came to know later he is some door ka rishtedaar. Mann kar raha tha ki kuch kar daloon usko."
"Promotion mein bhi ghapla? Wah." Raju started to clap sarcastically, "Then why we even bother studying. Ameer baap ke NYU returned sons and daughters will get the job. Everywhere it's family, politics, job, society. They didn't even leave films! Hum kidhar jaye? Kahinka nahi choda humein."
The ever optimist and humorous Rancho could not take the uncomfortable silence anymore, "Don't be sad Raju. Everything ends one day."
"By that time our bones and skeletons will be the last thing to remain here." Ignoring Farhan's snort Raju continued, "What if it never stops? What if this N giant takes over and makes us their slaves?"
"Ye education kya jhak marne ke liye le rahe hai hum? We will be better than any nephew or son of Elite class."
"It's not about winning the race." Farhan's inner sage came out for the first (and maybe last, thanks Beer) time in this night, "One has to wonder how far it has come, you know? From 17th century. Middle ages! Italian roots. Now to this era, 2017. Satellite, 4G, Ola. How far it will go? I just wonder . . . "
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