SriMaatangi thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#1

Credits: Proteeti (Radhikerani)

This is my first poem ever :P Do tell me what you all think :P


LITTLE SAVIOUR

On a dark, moonless night,

The wind blew with furious might,

As the vast river filled,

Testing the truth of the ones who willed

Darkness had encroached their life,

The brave man and his wife,

Somehow did they manage to cope,

For they held on to their hope

Two pairs of eyes witnessed cruelty,

A plea of cry they gave their deity,

The All-Pervading, Omniscient One,

He who took birth as their son

A bright light rose in the dark prison,

For finally had the saviour risen,

To free the world from shackles bound,

Relieving people all around

The beautiful son with skin of rain cloud,

Perfect little gurgle, neither soft not loud,

Parting with Him would cause pain,

But the baby would stand to gain.

Heartbroken mother teared,

Distressed father feared,

Hugging their newborn one last time,

As they felt time invisibly chime.

A snake who protected all from harm,

As the father crossed the river with alarm,

He would carry on with the determined behaviour,

For with him was the Little Saviour

Edited by KrishnaPriyaa - 8 years ago

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SriMaatangi thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#2

Originally posted by: --Elara--

What is coming soon? 😛

Something you have already read 😉
RamKiSeeta thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#3
This is SO SO beautiful!

I didn't know you had a knack for poetry, Srutha, but this is really lovely. The rhyming is perfect, and I can imagine everything just as you wrote it. I especially love the description of Vasudev and Devaki hugging Krishna and bidding him goodbye. Bittersweet love 🥺

You should write a sort of sequel with Yashoda and Nand finding baby Krishna and feeling happy with his arrival.
Ramya_98 thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#4
This is so well written, Tha. The descriptions are vivid and the feelings intense!
Keep writing.
Dreamer3003 thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#5
Wow is this ur 1st attempt😲
Its damn good!!⭐️
I so loved the way u described little krishna😳
And the title is damn perfect for this poem😳
Keep writing more👏
sambhavami thumbnail
Posted: 8 years ago
#6
Wow! This is just so, so beautiful! Very beautiful descriptions! <3
RamKiSeeta thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#7
Pro, that banner is AMAZING! 👏
MagadhSundari thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#8
SRUTHA!!! 👏❤️💔😭👏❤️💔😭👏❤️💔😭👏❤️💔😭👏
more to come ;)
SenAnu thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#9
A WORK OF THIS CALIBRE CAN NOT BE THAT OF A BEGINNER !

M1, you have outpassed yourself and truly proved yourself to be one of the finest writers I have ever come across anywhere.

This poem was so lovely !! I so wish poems like these could be collected and treasured for all eternity!

Your words flow like magic and they are bound to have it in them when they have the Lords Name :)

Love you so so much !!! And so proud of you!
Keep more of this coming !

Love,
Doll
Nonie12345 thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#10
Awesome poem Srutha😃

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