#3 Memories|| Chapter 21, Page 29 [05/21/2017] - Page 11

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Small reminder, where we were: Arnav received a job offer from UCB and Anjali wants him to go where as he doesn't want to go. Khushi is gradually falling for Arnav.

Chapter 20: In Love

Arnav Singh Raizada ran with iPod plugged in his ears. He was listening to his playlist, running for one hour and fifteen minutes without stopping even once. He could hear his heartbeat loud and clear but he did not care. He was searching for some answers and a little peace for his mind. He was thinking the same thing since the last night. When did his life become so complicated?', he thought.

He looked straight ahead and ran faster than before, he was getting out of breath when his legs could not take anymore, he tripped. He was on the ground, his lungs trying to suck in all the oxygen it could, his forehead was dripping sweat and his eyes were red. He looked around when someone called him, "Hey are you okay?" A guy in mid twenties asked Arnav. His voice brought Arnav out of his mind. He quickly looked at up and found a young man staring at him with a hint of concern in his eyes.

"Yeah, thanks!" Arnav replied getting up. The stranger smiled at him saying, "take care", before leaving Arnav alone with his miseries. As Arnav got up, his legs began to shake. His perplexed mind wanted him to run some more in search of some peace but his legs were not helping him at all. He found a bench and decided to finally sit. He held his knees, his iPod till intact in his ears. Things were never this difficult for him, the more he thought, the more he got confused.

"Confusion?!", his mind screamed. "You are confused if you should leave your sister alone or should you get a new job?"

"But didn't she say she would be happier seeing me at a place where I always wanted to be?!"

Arnav shook his head, he did not want to hear another argument inside his head. He just wanted to run away, far away from his mind, from this situation.

"Running away was not an option", he reminded himself. He was running out of time, he had to be quick, he needed to make a decision quick. Arnav was an organized person, every time he was in any sort of dilemma, he would count pros and cons of all the options and make a decision according to the list. That was how he solved his problems like, fruits or bacon for dinner?', car or walk to get to work?' Till today, he never understood people's problem of being in dilemma. "Its simple pros and cons for Gods sake!" Arnav used to scream at his sister. But now he understood, he understood not every situation could be solved counting pros and cons, not everything is black and white; there are some gray areas.

He took a deep breath and decided to give his method another try. He tried to clear his mind, his hands went inside his pocket and searched for a paper. When he could not find one, he decided to make a list mentally.

What if I go to UCB? He asked himself. "I will live my dream that I have been dreaming since the very first day of my Undergrad", he answered. "I would be away from my sister", he listed another answer.

"What if I don't go to UCB?" He asked himself another question. "I would never be able to live my dream but I will be with my sister", he answered. If this were the complete answer, it would have been very easy for him to make a decision. Dreams were never bigger than family, his grandmother had instilled this thought in his mind. There was something else was making this way more difficult, "My sister would die thinking she was the reason I never lived my dream", this thought was haunting him since his conversation with Anjali. Not living him dream was something with which he could live with but he could not deal with the thought of Anjali blaming herself for killing an opportunity for which he was waiting since a long time.

Again his pro and con method failed, he groaned out of frustration. And in this situation only one person can help him. He hated to admit it but he needed help and he needed it now.

______

"Good Morning", Khushi wished Anjali who was pouring water in the coffee machine.

"Good morning", replied Anjali meekly. Khushi had had been with Anjali with long enough to understand that something was terribly wrong with her. Anjali was a person who never showed any other emotion than happiness or contentment. Khushi was scared too, for the first time she did not like the sound of Anjali's Good Morning'. Khushi mentally prepared herself and asked, "What is bothering you?"

Anjali looked at Khushi and said, "nothing at all. Why would you say that?" Anjali did not have the idea that Khushi could see what she had been trying to hide so desperately.

"Because anyone who knows you could make out the difference in your expressions and your voice. So if you do not want to speak with me, I understand but I just want to tell you I am here for you not because it is my job but because I have found an elder sister in you", Khushi said and waited for Anjali to speak. She wanted Anjali to say, Hey you are thinking too much, I saw a bad dream and that is the reason I am so cranky! But Khushi knew Anjali was going to say something which would only break her heart. Bad dreams did not scare Anjali, reality cringed her.

Anjali looked at Khushi and said, "I had an accident while I was coming back home last night. I...I fell down from stairs at the subway station", Anjali looked up at Khushi and immediately added, "and that is not what is bothering me. People fall all the time right?" Anjali said as Khushi listened to her intently letting her face show no emotions. "I am worried because I was watching my step and still I manage to fell somehow and..."

"And you think you are losing your depth perception", Khushi completed Anjali's sentence and saw tears flowing down Anjali's cheeks. She did not wait even for a second and hugged Anjali as she cried irrevocably. Khushi wanted to cry like the last time she did when her mother had tripped walking on the street but she somehow managed to win the battle against her emotions this time. "I am here to watch every step of yours Anjali and I promise yesterday was the last time you fell, from this moment you would never!" Khushi said without tears in her eyes. Finally she was winning against Alzheimer's, last time she couldn't but this time she would.

Anjali pulled away, wiping her tears. She said, "I have not told anything yet to Arnav, I do not want him to panic." It was Anjali's way to insinuate that even Khushi should not tell anything to Arnav. Khushi got the hint and said, "he would not know. But I am happy that you told this to me at least. I am here to help you Anjali and I will be with you always." Anjali nodded when the coffee maker beeped.

Turning the course of conversation, Anjali asked, "why are you home at this hour? Weren't you suppose to go running?"

"I know, but your brother left a note saying he is out for some important work and running alone is just so boring", Khushi shrugged her shoulders and reached out to get the coffee jar. Khushi was clueless but Anjali knew what important work did his brother have. It was better to leave him alone for sometime to make his decision, she would be the happiest sister if he went and get his dream job but if he did not, she would somehow make peace with it, though a little part of her heart would always blame her for ruining her brother's chances of living his dream. Such is life, you get something and lose something.

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Khushi looked at the clock, it was 12 PM, she had not seen Arnav since the morning. She left a message on his phone but he did not reply. She was a little scared for him but when she saw Anjali relaxed, she knew she was just over thinking. If he were in some kind of trouble, Anjali would not be so relaxed. After few minutes she realized, more than being scared, she was restless and missing him. In few days, running with him had become a habit for her, a habit she would never want to give up. Talking to him while sipping coffee was something she had started to look forward to, though their conversations would be mostly one-sided. She would speak and he would listen. Her feelings made her stomach feel weird and her increased heart beats were scary. She had found a companion in him and she hoped he thought the same.

She was waiting for him to come back so that she could see him and hear his husky voice. Meanwhile she was disappointed because he never told her where he was going. "Isn't that unwritten rule in book of their relationship? That he informs her every time he stepped out of this house?" She lay on her bed, shaking her legs, thinking about him. Was she too clingy? She thought feeling hot under the collar. Is that the reason he would not tell her where he went? She started to rewind past moments she had spent with him to see if she was being too clingy. She was still brainstorming when she heard the knock, she got up from the bed and said, "come in". She was expecting Anjali but it was Arnav standing in front of her in grey joggers and maroon t-shirt. She thought she was dreaming, it was 12:15 PM and Arnav could never be in his running attire at this moment of day. Before she could dismiss him, branding him as her figment of imagination he spoke.

"Do you have a minute, I think I need to talk to you", his voice sounded stressed like his eyes. She was not sure, if he was drunk or just tired. She finally asked, "are you okay?" He nodded and entered the room. He never wanted to indulge Khushi in this matter but he could not trust his deranged brain anymore.

"Have you been drinking?" She asked involuntarily.

"What?" Arnav reacted offended, "no, no". After a brief pause he said, "I have been thinking about few things lately", he said without meeting her eyes. "I need some honest opinion from you...as you...you have seen this before", Arnav tried hard to frame a sentence without faltering but he could not.

On the other hand Khushi was clueless, she was relived that he was home and butterflies had started showing their presence in her stomach but she was so confused at the same time. "Could you be more specific? What is bothering you Arnav?" She touched his shoulder.

Arnav took a deep breath and sat on the edge of her bed. "Remember that day you came to my office after seeing your brother?" He asked not knowing how to start. She nodded sitting beside him. "Just before you came in I was reading a letter from the department of Molecular and Cell Biology of UCB. UCB my dream school, remember?" He asked looking into her eyes. "University of California, Berkeley?!" He gave her unnecessary information not knowing how to get to the point. "The college where I got my Phd from..."

"I know what UCB is, Arnav!", she said losing her patience. After a brief pause which seemed endless to Khushi, he spoke, "They offered me a job".

"Oh My God!" She was almost ready to jump out of happiness when he spoke, "I lied to Di a week back and told her that I could not get the job like usual, but she knew I was lying. She did not say anything till yesterday. Yesterday she came to me and asked me to go...why...why is she doing this? What should I do now?" Arnav asked Khushi helplessly. Meanwhile Khushi stood there, as all realization dawned upon her, all the inappropriate emotions began to surface. Job in Berkeley meant West Coast, a far away place from her. Her eyes began to moistened but her mind chided her, "you cannot cry, this is what he always wanted!" Arnav shook her lightly when she realized it was the time to open her mouth and take the conversation further, "I...I am so...so..."

"Khushi!!", they heard Anjali's voice. Khushi got up from the bed, "I will be back", saying that she left battling with her tears.

_____

"Are you okay Khushi?" Anjali asked her, who was driving the car. "You are unusually silent today", Anjali asked.

"I am good, just had a small tiff with your brother", Khushi lied to mask her emotions.

"Oh, is he home?" Anjali asked curiously.

"Yeah I was talking with him when you called. Good that you called, didn't know what to say", Khushi let out a forced chuckle.

"You two fight a lot, grow up!" Anjali said unbuckling her seat belt when Khushi asked, "are you sure you do not want me to stay with you?"

"Yeah, I will okay it is just book club meet and all of them are my great friends so lots of people to take care", Anjali assured Khushi. "You should go home and continue your fight with my brother and make sure you win!", Anjali let out a laugh.

"Bye! I will pick you up in couple of hours!" Khushi said and drove to the other end the city.

_____

Khushi looked at the Hudson river, it was beautiful. Pleasant wind was messing her hair but she did not care, she looked around and saw a couple sitting with their hands entangled, the girl whispered something into guy's ear as he laughed. Khushi smiled with them too, it was serene. Beautiful hudson, pleasant afternoon and their pure love. She looked the other way and saw little girl sitting on the ground shouting on her mother, her mother was on her knees watching the girl sternly, probably making her daughter learn a lesson. The girl stopped crying when her mother offered her a chocolate. Khushi smiled at the little girl who had suddenly forgotten why was she crying and shouting at the first place, kids are so naive, they get distracted so easily.

She took a deep breath and looked straight at the beauty of the river. She was feeling myriad of emotions, some so strange she could not believe herself. When did she change so much? She still remember the day she had come to New York, walking slow through the crowd paying no attention to anyone, just in her world, sad little world. And today, she had a purpose in her life, taking care of someone whom she had admired since a long time; she was looking around smiling with other people, feeling happy for other's happiness. She was human, she concluded but being human hurt, it hurt so bad.

Why she felt jealous of a happy couple? It was not that she hadn't believed in love ever, she was just busy in being sad and broken that she never paid any attention to these four letters. But today she was feeling jealous because she could feel presence of love in her life. She did not fight her tears anymore, being strong was hard, she needed to have her reaction. As a tear flew from her eye she understood the meaning and reason of the weird and incomprehensible feelings she had been feeling since long time. The mean butterflies that flew in her stomach when he looked at her, the color red that appeared on her cheeks every time when he held her, the crazy heart which beat so loud when he danced with her, her traitor body which started sweating looking at his smile. Every reaction of hers had a meaning, and she was ready to accept that meaning. Acknowledgment might make every thing a little more difficult than it was right now but it was the time to accept that she had fallen in love with a man who was arrogant but had a golden heart. She was in love with someone who had saved her from falling into abyss. She was here to save Anjali from falling into a dark pit but it was Khushi who found love and meaning. She did not know when this happened, neither did she intend to find a timeline. She was in love with Arnav Singh Raizada, the man whom she had pushed in the pool when she had met him for the first time, she laughed thinking their first meeting.

She closed her eyes and let the tears flow. The world around had stopped, it was liberating yet so painful at the same time. She was in love and there was no coming back from that, she had seen people falling out of love but she knew she could never go back from this. One thing she had learnt from her mother, love breaks people but she was ready to be broken. One thing she wanted never to happen to her, but it did and she could do nothing about it.

"What should I do now?" She heard him asking her.

She opened her eyes and thought, could this be a dream? She asked herself. Was she selfish enough to ask God to make this a dream so that Arnav never leaves? All his life Arnav had wanted to get into his dream collage and now when he got accepted Khushi felt her world crumbling, she chose to believe that he could not just leave her. But the reality was, he could, he could just go and never come back. She closed her eyes again and felt wind touching her wet cheeks, she felt more broken, sadder than she was ever.

As she kept her eyes closed, a distant memory came rushing to her.

Khushi walked slowly through the corridor of hospital, her mother was admitted to the ICU and according to the doctor she had very less chance of surviving. Khushi was distraught, imagining her life without her mother was impossible but a little part of her was relieved, she did not have to introduce herself to her mother every morning; it broke her a little every day.

She sipped the bitter coffee and walked to her mother's room. Her hand touched the knob of the door when her eyes saw her father sitting beside her mother, holding her hands. She was furious for a second but something inside her stopped her from confronting her father and asking him to leave the room.

She wanted to scream at him and ask why was he here when everything was coming to an end? But she saw her mother smiling through tears. A tear rolled down Khushi's cheeks, she could not decide if she was happy seeing her mother smiling or jealous over the possibility that she remembered her father. Khushi touched the glass door, leaned her head and cried. Her warm breath caused fog on the glass. She saw them talking but could not hear anything, her mother was finally at peace.

Khushi opened her eyes and saw world was still walking on it's pace. She could hear children chasing each other, she could see couples talking, she could see friends laughing and at that moment she realized, it was true when people told her life goes on', world never stops'. Her world would go on too, with love for Arnav in her heart.

Khushi smiled wiping her tears. Her mother might have cheated on her father, but she lived and died remembering him. Her father might have never overcome the betrayal, but he lived and died loving her mother. Alzheimer's had destroyed many things in her family but not love. And today she had come to understand her mother's love, madness and passion that was in her genes too.

She realized she should not be sad, finally she felt something other than hurt, she should rather celebrate. She should smile because she had finally found the reason behind her racing heart beats around Arnav Singh Raizada; she was in love with him.

She got up, took a deep breath. She looked ahead admiring the beauty of river. She assured herself, he might leave her but he would live his dream and he would be with her in her dreams.

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Hey, I hope you guys liked this chapter. Next chapter will be up either on Friday or next Sunday. I am done typing it just making some changes. Please send buddy request to CheesemadPMs for PMs.

Res

Res

Great part!

I am so happy u are back man ...congrats for u r graduation and cracking a job ...

hugs and some more hugs for coming back.

Welcome back dear...I am really proud of this Kushi... when story starts she is a typical teenager behavior with only anger and frustration and dont know much about relationships. Now she is so matured, thinking sanely and correctly without anyone help. i know she has this maturity because of the past she spent. I really really hope Arnav comes out of his helplessness and i know he will. Ajali is in safe hands so dont need to get worry...

Hi I'm very glad to see you back after a long time.. I love this story for its well placed emotions and realistic plot where it took the reader into it in a very subtle way... I love the way you write.. I'm happy i found this story to read... Waiting to know what's next...

Wow So happy to see that You are back!!