Bitter Kisses (PriVeer FF) [Ch 14 Updated Pg 34] - Page 13

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ChrisinS thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
Oh damn. Om does not hold back! But I'm glad, someone has to treat Shivaay the way he treats Anika. Serves him right.
As for PriVeer, I can't wait! The best part about your writing is that you don't let us catch a breath. Just when I think that there will be a moment of silence you drop bombs. Just look at the whole Kalyani bringing the commissioner with a marriage proposal. I thought the fiasco would be left at lawyers getting into the drama but nope, we brought the marriage card. Loved it!
twerping thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago

Originally posted by: Tahiti-1

I wonder why aren't YOU the writer and the producer. I wish you could make spin off with Priyabka and Ranveer! Thank you SO much for writing this phenomenal story! 😊 *happy tears*


P.S: Thank you for the PM!!!!


hehe... all I can say is that the series you wrote (the crime fic one) on PriVeer needs to have a second season. That's all I'm gonna say.
twerping thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago

Originally posted by: AnjuRish

I like the fact I'm feels for Anni

But is he going to do something about it?


Ahhh... now there's a thought...
BTW couldn't help but read your note and so wanted to say Congratulations!!! Lots of love and best wishes to you and the babe.
twerping thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago

Originally posted by: bworm

Wow. .that was just so amazing.

The guilt ...prinku...Om. ...the change in relationships.. the facts about being an oberoi...whatever age...Shivaay got dadi blood too.

It's getting exciting now.

It was good to see what's in Prinku's head too...with shivika in the background. ..Makin their presence felt.

Exploring the Oberoi family dynamics. ...it's like Pandoras box.


Thanks for the pm


Thanks girl!
Yeah the mess is spilling over but I swear that PriVeer is at the heart of this story...but once again, I just want you guys to let me know if I am boring you with all this... because there is still at least one other update to go before I can even think of putting PriVeer in the same room together.
twerping thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago

Originally posted by: dimaag

First of all, thank you so much for this fast update Twerps!! 🤗 *hugs* I liked that u have just replayed the entire accident scenario. Otherwise in the show it was kind of cut and paste type of scene. And then as we all know no further details were disclosed about the accident just the 'torture' ramblings 😆. So I really liked this part and also Om's inner turmoil has been greatly portrayed here by you. So amazing update Twerps! And yes I haven't watched the serial after the part where it was revealed by Shivaay in Roka ceremony that Priyanka was pregnant. So leave it. Let's focus here. And yes let's get back to the story circle 😃. Do update soon 😊



wow! had no idea about the pregnancy thing... that was when Randhawa is messing around with her mind and making her believe she is pregnant? IUghhh.. anyway,, so so glad that didn't watch all that!

And thanks for such a nice encouraging comment. Glad you liked that scene...seriously, it was all because of the fact that I was listening to Tambourine Man myself and what a beautiful sad sad song it is.. so I had to put it in. 😆
twerping thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago

Originally posted by: fffan123

Superb update. Loved it...


Thanks girl! 😳
twerping thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago

Originally posted by: starbright9

Tht was one fast update n it was brilliantly written..The way u showed the feelings of each n every character n how they all changed by passing time, was excellent...

N Ur lines r so beautiful. Can i know how do u write it, like Really. I think u should write a book n i will buy it for sure..!! Thank u somuch for this one amazing story. Writers should check out here sometimes..
N yeah..This never bores me, this is much much much better than wht is shown on TV...N Ur writing style makes me attached to it..😊


Thank you for saying that! Really gives me a lot of encouragement to continue but if I ever bore you with details, please let me know, k?

So next update is ready to be posted.. coming soon... 😃
twerping thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago

Originally posted by: -Sarcy-

Look who's here! 😎 😆

As promised, I caught up with all the updates, and I realised that I had 4 not 2 updates to catch up on. So that was a surprise treat for me. And what fun it was!

Starting from chapter four here... Kalyani, with her twisted notions of ishqbaazi, has never exactly been a favourite, but today I felt like she is really a hypocrite. She was rifling through the society pages hoping that the media had caught a moment between Shivaay and Anika, something that would push them further down the path of ishqbaazi but when an apparently similar moment has been published about her granddaughter, she thinks it'll taint the family name and honour?! How ridiculous!

Unni, his musings about his Boss, his Boss' qualities and the Sir's girlfriend was a treat to read. That boy is a naughty one. 😆

Your disdain for the Oberois is evident in the way your words flow. 🤣 Be it the way Tej thinks of his son, Om talks to Shivaay or even the way Randhawa, Shinde, et al think of them. 😆 Pinky's reaction to the whole thing was pretty expected but I thought at least Jhanvi would understand her daughter. How conveniently the clan has taken matters of her life in their own hands assuming they know best. Not one single soul bothered to even find out what was the truth of the matter from Prinku herself. What a sorry state of affairs! The only beacon of hope here is Randhawa, assuming the guy will give her a fair chance at things - choices and decisions, once the haze of misunderstandings is cleared. Prinku will definitely be happier with him than she has ever been with her family, in all her years.

Though I can only imagine how horribly pained Randhawa must feel at the sudden utter loss of control over his life. Would he ever have thought that saving a girl's life would throw him in a predicament wherhe would be tied to an Oberoi against all his wishes and lose a case that he had out his sweat and blood into investigating. Who would've thought that shady Shakti would be the mastermind behind the entire plan.

Loved the backstory that you provided to Ranveer's life. What a touching account it was! Though I'm curious to know how did Rajju end up in her present state considering that the girl run over by Prinku and Om's car actually died the next morning. Or is there more to it? Also, what happened to Amal and Oman?

I can't wait for the next update. The build-up to the PriVeer union (albeit forced) is awesome! These two will be going into the relationship with so much hate, pain, hurt and resentment, it will be beautiful to see them find omse common ground to start their life on and one that would eventually lead them to happiness and love! I'm super glad that you didn't give up on this story. Eagerly waiting doe the next part!

Cheers,
Sarce

P.S: I also love the small references to Shivaay's wedding and the way he behaves in exactly similar circumstances when it comes to his loved ones. Please tell me you will update soon?


Sarce, you may know for sure that this comment just made my day... I am glad that you liked it, that the characterisations made sense and the mystery about the accident will not be solved easily but some light will be thrown on it in the next update...This ain't no Bahubali 2 but I am trying my hand at building some suspense even if it is on a minuscule scale. The fact that you liked the revelation about shady Shakti (and boy, that name needs to be made into a thing) has given me encouragement to delve further into mystery making.

The next update went in a direction not quite foreseen but I don't mind it. Let me know how you like it.

And thank you for taking the time out to write such a detailed review. It has given me some pointers to ponder upon in terms of how I want to develop the story further.

Cheerio,
Twerps.
twerping thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago

Originally posted by: ChrisinS

Oh damn. Om does not hold back! But I'm glad, someone has to treat Shivaay the way he treats Anika. Serves him right.

As for PriVeer, I can't wait! The best part about your writing is that you don't let us catch a breath. Just when I think that there will be a moment of silence you drop bombs. Just look at the whole Kalyani bringing the commissioner with a marriage proposal. I thought the fiasco would be left at lawyers getting into the drama but nope, we brought the marriage card. Loved it!


hahaha!!! Glad you are enjoying it! And yes, am using this story to give vent to a lot of my annoyance regarding the show, so you may expect more such moments.


twerping thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago

Chapter 8

With the gates of the Oberoi Mansion closing behind him, Om felt like he could breathe once more. Tonight, the very air in the house seemed to breathe poison. Since his discovery that Shivay had disguised Anika as Tia, against her will, simply to satisfy his own needs, Om had been having a difficult time meeting his brother's eyes. Then this morning, Daadi had shown exactly how misguided he had been in putting his trust on any one of his family members. He will never forget the sight of his sister's face, drained as it was of all colour as her fate was pronounced this morning. No thought had been given to the fact that they were deciding their only daughter's future because of a stupid press scandal. In the Oberoi worldview, it probably was a fair call. If Shivay's betrayal rankled with him, a very different sort of guilt coursed through him at the thought of his own failure to protect Priyanka.

Rain splattered against the windshield of the car, running down in rivulets. Om drove down the wet streets with no particular destination in mind. The rain mixed with the cool night air occasionally flecked against his cheeks. He drove purposelessly through the mud, through the rain and slowly he calmed down. The hot impotent rage still simmered but he felt less suffocated by it.

There had been a girl who had once told the truth to his face. Only, he had believed her to be lying. That was not to say that she had not, in fact, lied to him. She had done her best to deceive him in the worst possible way. But she had also been the one person who had been brutally honest with him. She had done so only when her deception had been found out and then she had turned around like the viper he had thought her to be and she had attacked him. But the weapon she had used was not lies but the harsh cold truth. Om had ignored the truth because at the time, in his eyes, her lies had overshadowed the facts.However, that was then.

At the time he had wanted to hurt her. He did not know exactly how or when. But he had found out all he could about her, biding his time, waiting for the perfect opportunity. And then life had overtaken him. He had almost forgotten about her. Now after all this time, Omkara Singh Oberoi found himself turning the corner into the street where in a ramshackle excuse of a house lived Ishaana Mehta.

Once, after he had discovered her address, he had come to see for himself what place would breed a snake like this woman. That was how he had thought of her. A snake, reptilian, almost non-human. When she had lied to him, she had appeared soft, defenceless, a weak sapling needing the support of someone stronger. When she had spoken the truth, she had blazed forth, no longer weak and he had targeted all his frustrated anger at her. He had viewed her through eyes clouded with his deep sense of being betrayed.

But now the events of the past few days had left him with a sense of clarity that challenged the very foundations of the world he had built for himself. Ishaana had meant nothing to him and for her, he had been a rich 'target' to be gulled into foolishness. But the treachery of those he loved was a far, far worse wound. And driven to despair with frustrated bitterness and resentment, at this moment in life, without thought, he had arrived here.

Om pushed on the brakes and jerked to a halt. What was he doing? She was a liar! In running from one betrayal would he seek out further treachery?! His breath came in ragged bursts. A few yards ahead he could make out her house through the rain. Light was shining through the windows. He sat there in the car, immobile. He knew he should leave. He knew she was a con-woman, a thief, a liar. And yet he sat there in darkness,with his windows rolled up, rain drumming on the roof of his car, in a poorly lit street that was fast on the way of becoming a stream of muddy water. And then he shook himself with a start and just as suddenly as he had stopped, Om turned the car around and backed out of the street.

***************************

In that room where once he had spent hours chatting with Amal jeeju, Ranveer sat, darkness shrouding him, lost in memories of the past. This was where he had been thrown pillows at for teasing Rajju a bit too much or had lost himself in that intoxicating smell of Apu which was a mix of talcum powder, milk and something unique which he associated with innocence. It had been almost four years since he last saw Apu. Would he still have that smell on him? Ranveer hands tightened around the handles of the chair.

He remembered those fierce arguments he had overheard between his sister and her husband. Those arguments had started sometime around when Apu was stepping into his eleventh month. Late into the night, Ranveer had heard them argue about something. He should have realised those arguments were the dark clouds, harbinger of the storm that would rip their family apart like a pack of cards.

The argument had often spilled onto the next morning and husband and wife had appealed to Ranveer as a middle man.

"What business is it of him if there is someone messing with the company accounts?! Ranvi, why does he need to get mixed up in all this?" Rajju would complain to him as she buttered her toast with a scowl.

Jeeju would throw aside the newspaper and demand heatedly, "Isn't it my duty as an honest employee to report mismanagement when I see it? And it's not like I shall complain to just anyone! I will tell Mr. Oberoi himself when next I see him!"

Amal jeeju worked as the Director of Finance in Yagna Steel, an Oberoi owned enterprise. Caught between two warring factions, Ranveer would decide that remaining silent would be the best thing to do and had generally left the breakfast table as quickly as possible.

Then one night things came to a head. It was getting late and Amal had not returned from work. While they waited for Jeeju to return, the dinner had grown cold and Rajju's temper had steadily risen. Ranveer had teased her in between blowing raspberries on Apu's tummy. When the doorbell had rung, they had thought it would be Jeeju. Ranveer had gone to open the door while Rajju had started laying the table with as much thumping down of plates and clattering of spoons as possible. The sight of two police officers outside had been the last thing he had expected. They had wanted to meet Amal Kelkar's wife and Ranveer had made them sit down in the drawing room as he rushed to call Rajju. She had come, confusion written across her face. When one of the officer's told them why they had come, neither sibling had understood.

A letter thrust into their hands declared that "I, Amal Kelkar, have decided to end my life." The words had run out after that. Jeeju had been found in his office with a gun shot wound through his head. Rajju had collapsed in shock and Ranveer had been too busy taking care of her to feel anything. But his nightmare had only begun. During the funeral, a man had come up to them. He declared himself to be there on behalf of Amal jeeju's company. Ranveer had opened his mouth to thank him for coming like he had mechanically done to countless others. The man had interrupted him and gone on speaking. His tone was kind though his words were anything but.

The jist of it was that Jeeju had been found mismanaging company accounts but in light of the circumstances, the company had decided not to press charges. In the light that he was dead. Jeeju's words of mismanagement of accounts suddenly came back to his mind with full force. But both siblings were too drowned in grief and too shocked by the accusation to say anything in response. Before they could gather their wits, the man had disappeared into the throng.

Ranveer still didn't know how he managed to hold onto his sanity through those dark days. Just as after their parents' death, Ratankaka took to spending the night with the two siblings. Apu was the only one who went on like nothing had happened. The child would, at times, wave his hand at Amal jeeju's photo and gurgle. Amal jeeju's words coupled with the stranger's accusations would not let Ranveer rest. How he rued the fact that he had not taken Amal's words more seriously, that he had not bothered to ask him what evidence he had that made him think so. He had never felt more vulnerable, more wronged, than during those dark days.

Rajju had once more withdrawn into that cold shell of hers. Amal jeeju's parents were with Suhani and her husband in the U.S. at the time and so Ranveer felt that once more life had left them alone. Those days were filled with such a sense of loss and pain as Ranveer had never thought he would experience twice in his life. Apu was what kept them going. And then the accident happened.

Ranveer had his UPSC examinations coming up and he threw himself, heart and soul, into the preparation of it. The answer to everything around him that didn't make sense, that wouldn't add up, seemed to lie in qualifying for the post that Amal jeeju wanted him to achieve. Passing that examination more and more appeared to him as the key to unlocking the power that would enable him to unearth the mystery behind Amal Kelkar's death. He refused to believe it to be a suicide. He joined a gym to work on his fitness and continued to attend the tuitions. His schedule kept him busy all day.

One evening, tired and hungry, Ranveer had returned home to find Ratankaka worrying over Apu. Rajju was nowhere to be seen. She was on leave at the time and generally stayed at home. Sometimes, her friends from work would visit her. Ranveer had called her to find out where she was but her phone had not been answered. In her room, Ranveer saw photos of Amal jeeju strewn across her bed. Scared, he had called her friends one at a time. No one knew where she was.

Then around midnight, Sanjay had called. Sanjay was a senior from Ranveer's school days. He had been a grim, bookish sort of a chap. The fact that both of them would spend as much time as possible in the school library, had kindled a sort of friendship between these two despite their vast age difference.

Sanjay had gone on to crack the Medical entrance and had studied medicine. It was largely owing to Sanjay's own efforts that they still were somewhat in touch. The young doctor had only recently landed a job in a nursing home. Surprised to see Sanjay calling, Ranveer had answered the phone with an intuitive dread clouding his senses. And all his fears had come true as he listened to Sanjay's voice telling him that his sister had been brought to the nursing home in critical condition.

The horrors began all over again. This time Ranveer stood alone with no Rajju to hold onto him. Through the ticking minutes, his own life seemed to sap away from him. He barely held onto his consciousness and sat down on the nursing home floor outside the Operation Theatre, his legs lacking the strength required to stand. Sanjay would come and report on the proceedings from time to time, pressing his shoulder or ordering a nurse to bring him some water to drink.

The horrors lasted for four excruciating hours. Then the doctor emerged. Sanjay and the doctor ushered him into a cabin and there Ranveer learnt that Rajju had been hit by a car but that was not her chief source of injury. There was a wound on her head that looked like it was caused by something heavy hitting her. There was no way to know exactly how the injury came about. Ranveer had asked the doctor if there was any way of knowing whose car had hit her at least. The doctor had turned towards Sanjay with a grim expression on his face and had then said that whoever had hit Rajju had left her at the door of the emergency unit. It was only because Sanjay had identified her that the nursing home had been able to inform him. Rajju would have to be placed under observation since it had been a head injury. Throughout the day the doctors ran countless tests. Rajju had not woken when she should have and so Sanjay came and said the tests were vital. Ranveer had sat, in a daze and unable to say or do much, just waiting for Rajju to open her eyes. But those eyes remained shut and Rajju didn't wake up.


Edited by twerping - 8 years ago


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