Ch 18
Darr
{Fear}
He rubbed his eyes and yawned. After quite a few sleepness nights, the last one, unexpectedly, was peaceful. He couldn't recall any dream he had seen during his sleep and he felt fresh and light, like something too huge was lifted off from his shoulders.
He looked around and found his room tidier than ever, even the curtains were closed, which he often used to forget doing at night and woke up with bright sun's rays poking his eyes.
Very vaguely, he remembered the events of the previous evening. There was him, feeling very desperate and upset and then there was Khushi. Yes, Khushi. He said something to her, something that he would not have said to her in a sane state.
Shaking his head, he climbed off the bed and freshened up, before heading out of the room.
He went and sat down on the dining table and rubbed his left eye lazily.
"Hari kaka, coffee!" He said out aloud, crossing both his arms on the table in front of him. He placed the side of his face on the cold glass of the table, closing his eyes, just when his ears rung with the familiar sound of anklets.
He looked up to see Khushi walk towards the table, balancing a tray in her arms.
She placed the tray carefully on the table and found herself a seat right next to him. She picked up the cup from the tray and put it before him and flashed a smile at him with a "good morning!"
"Good morning," he replied back, looking down into his cup of coffee.
How can she be so normal?
"I know another thing about you now," she smiled again, brighter this time, while he waited for her to say out the answer. She lifted up the lid of the container on the tray, "and we actually have this in common - the love for jalebis!"
She forwarded the plate in front of him, taking one for herself and biting into it. "Now don't ask me how I came to know about this!" She bit into another one, and sensed him not even drinking his coffee, "What? You don't like it?"
"Khushi, are you okay?" He asked, not able to ignore the fact that she's actually behaving too weird to be okay.
"Never better!" She grinned, drinking from her cup of tea.
"Didn't you sleep last night?" He questioned after noticing the dark bags under her eyes. He already knew the answer, but he wanted her to say it.
"I did!" She said, not looking at him and he knew she was lying. She again took a sip from her cup, seeming to be avoiding his gaze at her.
"Khushi, look, what happened the previous night.. I-"
"Can we both just ignore it?" She stamped her hand over the table, looking straight into his eyes. The happiness was suddenly replaced by a serious expression.
Words died in his mouth. He just nodded his head and continued to eat. "Um, Khushi?"
"What?"
"The jalebis, thanks for making them. They're delicious!" He said in an almost whisper, ending up in a smile. She rolled her eyes and a smile broke on her face as well, reaching till her eyes.
"Aren't you getting late for work?" He asked, suddenly realizing that.
"I have taken an off today," she replied and he nodded meekly.
She got up to clear off the table after the breakfast, going into the kitchen while he extracted his phone from his pocket to make some calls.
She dumped the dishes into the sink and gripped the counter beside it. Her teeth gritted together and she breathed hard to prevent herself from crying.
He's not Shyam. He is not Shyam.
She told herself again and again, patting her tightening chest with a hand. She tilted her head upwards and closed her eyes tightly.
"Till when do you plan to ignore it?" She heard a voice from behind and turned around to find him seated on the opposite counter in the kitchen.
She breathed deeply, swallowing her saliva to help her drying throat, "Why is this so difficult?" She looked down and leaned her back against the counter.
He swung his legs gently, "Because you are making it difficult, Khushi. Just stop thinking about it."
"Whenever I try to move ahead, he comes back. Like when he is not even there, he drains all the energy out of me. I want to stop thinking about it, but I.. I am sorry.." she cried, her shoulders shaking. Her hand went up to cover her mouth and she sobbed into it. She wanted to hold herself up to not to break down, but after all that she had gathered in her since the previous night had made her almost insane.
He didn't shift a bit this time. He wanted her to break down, for he knew that once she does, she would have to muster up all the strength herself to gather herself together.
"When you say that you.. you love me, I feel like I am standing at the same point of my life as at that time when he said that he loved me. I feel like whatever it is, eventually you will hurt me like he did.. I know you won't.. but if.." her voice came out shaky, and she looked up at him. She already knew the answer to her confusion and the belief got strengthened by a single look at him. That softness in his eyes, she knew it just could not be fake. And this time, she couldn't be any more sure about it.
He jumped off the counter and took a step towards her. He took her hands in both his hands and rubbed the back of her palms with his thumbs. Not breaking the contact of their eyes, he spoke, "If your happiness is my happiness, your pain is mine as well. The time when I will hurt you, it will be like hurting myself."
"I know, I know," she let her head fall over his shoulder and closed her eyes.
"If you want to make me happy, Khushi, let me make you happy." He broke their joint hands and wrapped one his arm across her shoulders. "If my love puts you in any kind of fear, just ignore it. Did I ever say that I want you to love me back?"
He smiled softly and lowered his eyes, something getting broken from inside him. He knew he was not true this time, but he had to bear with it. Which human would not want his love to be reciprocated? But, he had already caused too much of chaos in both of their lives to think about himself.
She opened her eyes but didn't move. Again, yet again, she was proven so terribly wrong to compare Arnav and Shyam. Can this man, this very man who did every possible thing to make her happy, who put her up amongst his priorities and fought with his own sister for her, who loves her so much but says that she doesn't need to love him back - can this man ever hurt her?
No. Never.
"Chalo now no more tears," he parted from the hug and rubbed her under-eye skin with his thumbs, a grin coming up on his face. "Since you have taken an off today, let's go and hang out somewhere!"
"But Arnav-"
"What kind of a girl you are, huh? Don't you ever feel like going shopping? Or maybe watch a movie?" He teased her and she looked down. He took a step back and turned to leave, "You have fifteen minutes!"
He swallowed a hard lump in his throat and closed his eyes for a second, before letting a huge grin form on his face again and he left the kitchen.
*
The next two hours were spend in roaming around a couple of malls, shopping some shirts for Arnav, some for Khushi, all coupled with a lot of laughing. Arnav would crack a joke and Khushi would often just smile and seeing her smile, he would burst into fits of laughter and then seeing him laugh, she would end up laughing with him.
After having lunch at a small cafe, they stopped near a lake in the outskirts of the city. Being a secluded area, it lacked the commotion of the city and had the utmost serenity growing within it. The shimmering water of the lake reflected the setting sun and the grass around the water rose and fell with the blowing wind.
"Let's rest here for a bit, yeah?" Arnav asked and Khushi impulsively agreed.
They sat down on the grass and breathed deep and slow. It felt so calm and fresh, as if all the negativity was bring sucked out from their lives.
"Arnav," Khushi looked at him for a bit, before turning the gaze back to the water again, "How can you be like this?"
"Like what?" He asked, stretching his arms and lowering his body down to lie on the grass.
Khushi smiled and turned completely towards him, "So.. so different and so considerate.. and so selfless and so-"
"-unlike Shyam?" He lifted his upper body on his elbows and chuckled, "Khushi, I am just as normal as you are. Nothing special."
She nodded her head in denial and stretched out a soft smile, before lying down on the ground beside him.
"You don't know what you are, Arnav. You have the capability to change someone's life altogether.."
He laughed at that. "How is your life changed, then? Are you not a woman anymore now?"
She gasped and got up, hitting his chest. He groaned and laughed harder, making her laugh loudly as well.
Suddenly her laughter ceased, causing him to stop laughing as well.
"Khushi?"
"I am scared." She mumbled but he heard her.
"Why do you say that?" He tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear and she lowered her eyes down.
"I have never been this happy in a long time."
*
As they entered back home, all tired and messy, it didn't take them long to retire to their respective rooms.
She placed her phone on the table beside her bed and went into the washroom to change her clothes. Her phone's ring made her fasten the process and she came out hurriedly.
"Hello?"
"How are you, dear wifey?"
*
Okay, before you start ranting about how lazy I have become in updating regularly, give me a chance to apologize. College with its tests and assignments is taking a toll on me. I am really sorry for keeping you waiting. 😒
To compensate, the next update is coming as soon as I feel everyone has read the update that is, i.e. within 4 days (at maximum). It can be tomorrow as well, depends on you all ;)
So, like and comment! And also tell me whom do you think is on the other side of the phone? 😈
love, sanjana <3 Edited by -SanjanaSobti- - 8 years ago
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