IshVeer FF: Drowning in Your Love | Chapter 13 (Page 32) - Page 25

Also, hoping no juta-chappal for this.

Chapter 13: The Wistful Wish

Ranveer watched Ishani in silence, her small form curled on their bed as she remained covered in a silky blanket. She breathed slowly, her chest rhythmically moving, while her one hand rested on her stomach and another on the bed, lightly clutching the sheet. A sad smile crossed his lips and he swallowed the pain throbbing in his chest. It hadn't been two hours since she came home, and he was gradually melting. The wound on her stomach had bled profusely until he was forced to call the doctor, who gave him strict instructions to keep her away from any stress until she was well.

She told she'd lost the memory.

How could he believe her? Hadn't she lied to him a hundred times before when all he did was trust her blindly? Trusted like a fool. When you love someone, you trust them to guard your feelings, but she was the one who had destroyed them for him. And now, he could not trust her.

Ranveer was supposed to be married today, and deep down, despite his mind wrestling against the thoughts furiously, he admitted he was happy for her arrival. Each ritual was passed in a foolish hope that maybe Ishani would return, like the last flicker of light piercing through the grave clouds. But all he had received in return were her hateful words, painted with impossible cruelty he would never utter in front of her.

It didn't have in him to hurt her.

A part of him mocked at the irony of his confession, but he knew why he had said those hurtful words to her. They were never meant to tear her apart. He would kill himself before inflicting a tiny agony on her. Only if she knew, his sole desire was to know to what extent she could endure his hatred. He looked into her eyes when he insulted her, watched her lips twitch and pupils dilate, and his heart throbbed maddeningly in hope to take one more step, and cast another blow and finally break her. She would have no one but him, then, for nobody loved her the way he did.

And yet he couldn't hurt her.

She ensured she didn't need him in her life. Told a thousand times until he had no choice but to believe the truth. His love never melted Ishani, and his hatred never broke her. No matter how hard he tried, she countered with her best defenses, damaging him in the process. Every insult he hurled at her was laced with just one wish: to see her breaking down, so that he could know that he mattered. But he didn't.

Ranveer always told himself he wanted to protect Shikhar from Ishani. He laughed today at the naivety of his intentions. Despite all her confessions about hating him, the Ranveer within him knew Ishani could not harm anyone. It was his own wounded, bruised self which could never see her with anyone else but him. The part which still waited for her to breathe life in him wanted her back; but he also knew she was the same person who would perhaps end up killing him.

She was killing him now.

She had probably lost her memory, and was brought to him because the old Ishani, who still pretended to love him, needed the healing only he could give.  

His heart lurched, agony entangling him mercilessly in its countless threads. Why? He asked her again and again why she was doing this to him. But her innocent face stared into his, pleading, as though she knew nothing of what her real self did. Her eyes said she wanted to be his and so did her words.

He would give away his life for all this to be true.

Slowly, Ranveer felt Ishani stir, and he turned his head to take a better look at her. She was confused and her eyes were not yet fully open. For a moment he wondered if she would yell at him for being in her room; but her lips bent in a weak smile.

"Ranveer..." His name from her mouth sounded so real, so sweet, that he hated the fact that she had lost her memory. Tears brimmed as he looked away to conceal his glistening eyes. And when he looked back at Ishani, her eyes were staring at him. A flash of panic rose in Ranveer, but the stronger part composed his breaking form. He inhaled deeply before mustering the courage to utter the next words.

"How are you now?"

"Better." Her eyes never left him as though she searched for something he wasn't giving away. "You don't believe me, do you?"

Ranveer shook his head. "I would have. But I can't." He knelt on the floor before her.

Her hand reached out for him and she stroked it. "Ranveer, I know all that..."

"No, Ishani, you don't..." Ranveer's voice rose a little higher, but he regretted it immediately. "Ishani, you know you are not supposed to take stress. Take your medicines and go to sleep." He spoke softly.

"How could I sleep without you stroking me to sleep, Ranveer?"

He flinched. "Don't make it hard for me," he whispered, rising to his feet. "You don't know what you're saying, but the moment you do, you'll hate me more than ever." He said the last words more to himself than Ishani. "We're two poles apart, and perhaps that's the reason we've always stayed away from each other."

"But I want to stay with you," she whispered, tears burning in her eyes. "For the rest of my life."

An involuntary, joyless laugh escaped Ranveer's lips. In her senses alright, Ishani would resent the same words bitterly.