Ishra OS:Aftermath of the kiss

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Akriti154

@akriti154

Trailblazer

+ 4

Posted: 8 years ago

hello cuties
back with the sequel of my previous OS as promised
firstly thank you all for the response on the previous OS
I hope all like this one too

Edited by akriti154 - 8 years ago

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Akriti154

@akriti154

Trailblazer

+ 4

Posted: 8 years ago

THIS IS A "MEMBERS ONLY" POST
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Akriti154

@akriti154

Trailblazer

+ 4

Posted: 8 years ago

updated the OS
hav a look

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Swarna

@swa6

Voyager

+ 3

Posted: 8 years ago

Finally you are back with sequel :) Congrats for that...

The first half of the OS is very nice and the way you describe their feelings, hesitation, fears...yet the excitement in waiting is too good. 👍🏼

But, I feel that the second half you quickly completed... I didn't mean that you need to describe the action part more😉. Actually here you concentrated on dialogues n action...and ignored explaining their inner feelings a little bit...which made me think you completed it in hurry...

Usually the benefit of reading is we can get to know 'what the characters are thinking & feeling at the moment' which keep us connected to the chars.. While watching its bit difficult , because we have to assume on our own based on their expressions/monologues which is always not possible.

I really mean no offence by my comment above, and I wish you will take it as constructive critism. I m waiting for the sequel again... may be this time how IshRa are eagerly waiting n trying for continuing their romantic-journey, where Ruhi - Adi busy becoming haddis everywhere😉 n asking them innocent questions, where they can't answer directly n need to find some bahana😆 to escape from embarrassing situation...

Edited by swa6 - 8 years ago