ShivIka/AnShi SS: A New Start. Part 8 Updated - Page 10

Part 4: Never Again

Anika stood there, shocked, and yes, happy that Shivaay was standing right in front of her in flesh, not her fantasies this time. She shook her head. This was the man that left as soon as he could, abandon her and the kids that she gave birth to and have loved the very first time she saw them on the ultra-sound screening. It wasn't fair that her heart could still race even after all those years ago when he had torn it to pieces.
'Baby, what are you doing here?' she cooed. She looked down at her daughter, love in her eyes. She never tired of staring down at the child she - they - had created all those years ago.
She watched as those small shoulders shrugged. 'We were playing tag mummy and I saw this man here.'
Her breathe left her in a rush, and she found that she couldn't breathe properly. She was panicking, something she only did when Shivaay was around - when he was around, five years ago.

Did he still resent her after all these years? Did he still resent her for impregnating her and ruining his life at such a young age? Was it entirely her fault for the fact that they had both created two, beautiful younglings that looked exactly like their parents?
No. She didn't ruin his life. It was her decision to keep the children in her womb for nine, long, months. It was her decision to keep the children a secret, away from home, away from their father. That father, the same man that was standing in front of her and Shivani. It was her life that was ruined, but it was worth it, all of it. The whole nine months of waddling, sweating, craving and swelling was worth the joy she felt every time she looked at them.

He towered over her, his 5ft 8inch. His hair was longer. Jaws strong, sprinkled with facial hair; his eyes were the same ocean blue she remembered.
She shook her head, and looked around, breaking contact with him. Behind him, she saw her old friend Tia; the very same person she had confided in, the same person that had told her Shivaay was not the one for her.
Maybe she was right; but still, it hurt that her friend was now dating the boy - man - she had loved all those years ago.
Her lips were slightly swollen, and she was frowning. Was it shock of seeing her? Or the guilt she now felt beating into her?
She did not, and will not, share her children with her or Shivaay. Even if he were the father, he had no right to the kids. They were hers; hers to love and to keep.
Damn them or anyone if they thought that was selfish.

'Mummy?'
'Are you okay?' she asked, ignoring Shivaay and Tia. She had to get away from here, both her and Shivani.
Shivani nodded. 'Does this mean game time is over? Can I go to mamu now? Can me and Ansh go get some ice cream? Please oh please mummy?'
Anika couldn't help but smile at the little creature greasing up to her. It reminded her of her own manners with her father. 'Sure baby.' She looked up and saw Shivaay frowning. Tia was standing next to him, both staring at her like she had four heads or something. She didn't, did she? 'Nice seeing you guys again, and thanks for keeping an eye on Vani for me.' She grasped her daughters hand and turned around to leave.
'Wait,' she heard Shivaay say. It was the first time she had heard him speak. His voice was deeper, huskier than she remembered.

Well, it has been five years, she thought.
She turned around, still holding on to Shivani's hand. 'Yes?'
'How have you been?' it was Tia that asked this time. No hello, no hug, no nothing. Just a simple, "how have you been?" Well, it was better than nothing.
She shrugged. 'Had better days I guess.'
'This is your daughter?' asked Shivaay. He was staring hard at Shivani. She knew that he knew the child was his. It was in his eyes.
'Yes.'
'How old is she?'
'Five.'
'Mummy,' said Vani, tugging at her hand. 'I want ice cream. Pretty, pretty please?'
'Five '' Shivaay murmured.

Anika nodded. 'Vani, this is Shivaay, he's... an old friend of mine. And the woman next to him is his girlfriend.' And soon to be step mother to you my dear daughter, she thought.
She was not going to tell him anything. He had to figure it out all by himself.
'Hi,' smiled Shivani. She was always a bright child. Even for her age, she was somewhat mature.
Tia smiled at Vani, and right then and there, Anika wanted to slap it off of her face. Yes, she was a very possessive and selfish person, but she had rights. The child was hers and hers alone.
'Nice to meet you Shivani, I'm your mummy's old friend.'
Shivaay was still quiet, and she wondered why. Was he sick or something? Was he angry?
Possibly, but she couldn't tell. His face was devoid of any emotion what so ever.
'Hi. Please mummy, we have to go!'

She smiled down at her, and then looked up at the two people she had once come to love. 'Nice meeting you guys again.'
'You too,' smiled Tia, though her eyes weren't smiling.
Jealousies a curse old friend; it ruins your life.
'How have you guys been? The little girl is five years old, and looks just like you. Where have you been all these years? Why didn't you contact me after all these years?' he asked, demanding more like it.
'Excuse me?' she shrieked.
'You heard me. I tried mailing you, phoning you but you never returned any of them.'
He tried to keep in contact with her? That was impossible.
'Oh.' She said. 'I deleted my old email account and changed phones the first year I was in Australia. During that year, well, it was pretty... rough.'
Shivaay's face crumbled, and she felt her heart quicken, but he soon composed his looks. 'So you didn't bother to keep in contact with anyone else then?'
She frowned. 'With Sahil I did. I couldn't see the point in mailing everyone that stabbed me in the back with what I had to go through once they found out I was pregnant.'
Which had included both hers and Shivaay's friends; they had accused her of doing it on purpose, not taking precautions to prevent getting pregnant. They accused her of "trapping" him. It was all said behind her back of course, and the only person that she had truly trusted back then was Omkara, one of her close friends. Tia was never there for her, she realized. She wanted Shivaay all to herself.

Well, she thought, she can have him. She couldn't care less.
Tia and Shivaay both flinched, and that made her glad, that they realized not everything went unnoticed with her. In love, she was with him, but she was deaf, blind, or stupid not to notice the rumours spreading. Tia probably started them, she was the one who knew everything from the start.
'Anika?'
She turned around, beaming, recognizing the voice immediately.
'Omkara?' she squealed. 'My goodness is that you?'
He ran up to her, smiling brightly. She had always loved him, loved him like a brother. He grabbed her, hugging her tightly, and putting her down carefully.
He whistled. 'My god Ani, you have grown up. A beauty you are, though you always have been.'
She giggled like a little girl. She could feel Shivaay's gaze on her back, but she ignored him. He didn't deserve her attention or her child. He did say that he didn't want her pregnant and that all of it was a mistake.

'And you,' she lightly punched his shoulder, 'have grown into a handsome, mouth watering man I must say so myself.'
Vani giggled. 'Mummy, you can't say that.'
Omkara looked down at Shivani and smiled. They both did. 'And who's this little pretty angel?'
Shivani smiled. 'I'm Shivani. What's your name?'
'I'm Omkara, your mums best friend.' He glared at someone over her shoulder. There was a grunt and a gasp.
'Mumma!'
It was Ansh this time, and she smiled, and then quickly frowned. No, Shivaay couldn't see him; he cannot find out that he has another child.

That he had two kids of his own.
Selfish she may sound, but it was for the best. They were here temporarily, and once they left, there was no looking back. She didn't want hers, or Vani's and Ansh's hearts, shattered.
They all turned, and she risked a glance at Shivaay as he stared at the exact image of himself, only a younger version, with bright blue eyes. His face had gone pale, as well as Tia's.
'Mumma! Mamu won't let me go on those seesaws!'
He ran towards them and stopped, frowning as he looked behind her, at the man who was his father.

...

Dhun Dhun Dhun!!!! Loool sorry for the cliff hanger again. 😆

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