Vulnerabilities!

Ever since the patch up until yesterday, we all have seen tremendous growth in Dev's character. But this post is to highlight Sonakshi's character and attitude.

Surely, she has been the 'man' in this relationship - more mature, sensible and giving to Dev versus him. However, my hunch with her is of not expressing her true feelings post marriage.
Why is she not vocal about her insecurities (which do exist) as a newly wed.
Either we see her getting angry (like on the first night - which was reasonable though) or arguing with Dev or giving into rituals.

She is a 21st century woman, well-educated with a strong EQ. She is individualistic with a strong influence on Dev through her logic. But we all understand that even the best of us have days when we are bogged down with negative circumstances around us.
Why isn't she accepoting to her flaws with Dev, just like the way he does? This facade of being a 'giver' is not making her seem natural - its like either I will fly or I will die , there is no middle path for me!
Sona was disappointed (just like Dev) when he had to go and drop DB. Her efforts for morning puja proved futile plus Ishwari's rant that made her cry, the navratri fasts came upon her by trap... why is she taking it all in.
Yesterday's car conversation between Dev-Sona was a perfect place where she could have simply stated 'I am doing all this because I want to impress your mom. Because I know your mom means everything to you and I can't afford to lose you again. I want to be accepted by your family (your mother) and have to prove myself as a good bahu, so that i am not let go off by you again, since I couldn't meet her expectations."

That would have shaken Dev. And would have added so much more depth to there newly found marital status. Sona wants his support but she will get it in a true sense when she exposes her true vulnerabilities!

That's my POV. Hope it makes sense.

Originally posted by: sia.krpkab

Ever since the patch up until yesterday, we all have seen tremendous growth in Dev's character. But this post is to highlight Sonakshi's character and attitude.

Surely, she has been the 'man' in this relationship - more mature, sensible and giving to Dev versus him. However, my hunch with her is of not expressing her true feelings post marriage.
Why is she not vocal about her insecurities (which do exist) as a newly wed.
Either we see her getting angry (like on the first night - which was reasonable though) or arguing with Dev or giving into rituals.

She is a 21st century woman, well-educated with a strong EQ. She is individualistic with a strong influence on Dev through her logic. But we all understand that even the best of us have days when we are bogged down with negative circumstances around us.
Why isn't she accepoting to her flaws with Dev, just like the way he does? This facade of being a 'giver' is not making her seem natural - its like either I will fly or I will die , there is no middle path for me!
Sona was disappointed (just like Dev) when he had to go and drop DB. Her efforts for morning puja proved futile plus Ishwari's rant that made her cry, the navratri fasts came upon her by trap... why is she taking it all in.
Yesterday's car conversation between Dev-Sona was a perfect place where she could have simply stated 'I am doing all this because I want to impress your mom. Because I know your mom means everything to you and I can't afford to lose you again. I want to be accepted by your family (your mother) and have to prove myself as a good bahu, so that i am not let go off by you again, since I couldn't meet her expectations."

That would have shaken Dev. And would have added so much more depth to there newly found marital status. Sona wants his support but she will get it in a true sense when she exposes her true vulnerabilities!

That's my POV. Hope it makes sense.

Yeah, i miss Sona's punches and strong comeback. In her simple ways and subtlety, Sona use to make very intelligent remarks about life and her perspective in general.
Now, when you are in a conflict, there is again enough room to showcase that expression in speech. Explore the moment lady, say what you really feel - not what you think you should be saying for someone's sake. Be real like you always have been, because Dev may not always understand what you feel unless you share.

It reminds me of how Ritwik made her confront her own feelings and say it aloud that she still loved Dev. Sona is going through the same phase where she is scared of Ishwari and Dev throwing her out - and thats why she is behaving this way.

True.She has always encouraged Dev to communicate and share his feelings but she herself is not doing that these days.If she doesn't express herself, how will Dev know what's going on in her mind.

Yesterday in the car, really felt like she was contemplating whether she should say or not. Subconsciously she fears Dev's response too I guess. It is about his mother who went out of her way to bring them together. Whatever she says his immediate response will be that Ma have accepted her and how can she even think this way when she brought Sona back. He is not going to accept the truth until he witness it with his own eyes just like the proposal she sent for Sona.

Originally posted by: gmgi

Yesterday in the car, really felt like she was contemplating whether she should say or not. Subconsciously she fears Dev's response too I guess. It is about his mother who went out of her way to bring them together. Whatever she says his immediate response will be that Ma have accepted her and how can she even think this way when she brought Sona back. He is not going to accept the truth until he witness it with his own eyes just like the proposal she sent for Sona.

Her trust in Dev was already fragile to start with before their break up and now she doesn't have any to fall back on. She is ruled by her fear and insecurity and I would say it's has it's base on their wedding night the scene where Ishwari sends them back and Sona and Ishwari looks at each other. It was a poignant scene with so many unsaid messages passed between them and Sona got it totally. She even knows deep down her attempts are futile but can't help herself not to try. Her mothers advice which she took to heart was that happiness is something that you work for yourself. Her husband's happiness is her's and his mother is his happiness. So she is just working hard for both their happiness. But she won't win without Dev by her side. She is forgetting that or she is keeping that option for the last.

Hey, I loved your thought process on this. But I am not sure if Sona has reached this stage of realization, because if that was the case, then she would have also apologized in reciprocation at least when Dev was cajoling her in the car. I think she has still not realized as to why she is changing herself so much that that is why she hasn't expressed her insecurities related to Dev and his mothers' acceptance is important for her so that she doesn't lose him again. In essence, we agree that she needs to bare her heart out to Dev because her struggle will be successful only with Dev's support (which she isn't exercising at the moment).

Sia, as far as I have understood Dev, he is a typically ignorant husband who finds no flaws until it becomes really obvious.
Sonakshi has had that experience before the breakup. She kept on telling him that his mother is not accepting her, and he time and again denied that because his mother is not that kind. Until it came but obviously to him that his mother was faking happiness. And that time it hit him hard.
Sonakshi knew all this, and inspite of warning Dev, she had to go through a brutal heart break.
Dev though by his breakdown had forced his mother to accept Sonakshi, and Dev from then on has been very particular towards Sonakshi's needs and concerns, yet he is a typical husband as far as his mother is concerned.
He forgave and forgot all his mother's misgivings the day she talked about Devakshi's wedding. And now she is back to being the Bestest mother for him, since all she does is for his happiness only.
What I am a little surprised is, Dev is not at all insecure after the tragedy of their breakup, once he got married. He knows it perfectly that Sonakshi is his, and no power in the world can separate them since his mother has approved them as well . On the other hand Sonakshi is scarred somewhere, she is marked injured inside because of the vulnerability of getting thrown out of Dev's life again. She knows it very well it won't be easy throwing her out of Dev's life this time coz she is his wife and Dev already has an experience of the heart break, he cannot endure it again, yet Sonakshi doesn't trust a single person at her husband's place for that matter, coz she knows them all by their nerves.
If Sonakshi In all this tells him about all this, he will either deny the fact that she is overthinking or being insecure, or at the max will confront his mother for the same and Ishwari will like always skillfully dodge it, and Dev will again tell Sonakshi not to think it all. Dev has absolutely no sense of tackling his mother. So there's no point asking his rescue... And sonakshi understands all this.
It is actually wise on her part to not discuss all this at this point with Dev, coz most of the time, husbands are useless here. Ofcourse when things will start getting obvious and it is palpable to Dev as well, Sona expressing all this to Dev will hold more weightage and then may be he will be more helpful with Sona.
For the time being Sona dealing with her vulnerabilities alone is fine I suppose... Later on we can see her talking to him...

Originally posted by: Aazeen02

Sia, as far as I have understood Dev, he is a typically ignorant husband who finds no flaws until it becomes really obvious.
Sonakshi has had that experience before the breakup. She kept on telling him that his mother is not accepting her, and he time and again denied that because his mother is not that kind. Until it came but obviously to him that his mother was faking happiness. And that time it hit him hard.
Sonakshi knew all this, and inspite of warning Dev, she had to go through a brutal heart break.
Dev though by his breakdown had forced his mother to accept Sonakshi, and Dev from then on has been very particular towards Sonakshi's needs and concerns, yet he is a typical husband as far as his mother is concerned.
He forgave and forgot all his mother's misgivings the day she talked about Devakshi's wedding. And now she is back to being the Bestest mother for him, since all she does is for his happiness only.
What I am a little surprised is, Dev is not at all insecure after the tragedy of their breakup, once he got married. He knows it perfectly that Sonakshi is his, and no power in the world can separate them since his mother has approved them as well . On the other hand Sonakshi is scarred somewhere, she is marked injured inside because of the vulnerability of getting thrown out of Dev's life again. She knows it very well it won't be easy throwing her out of Dev's life this time coz she is his wife and Dev already has an experience of the heart break, he cannot endure it again, yet Sonakshi doesn't trust a single person at her husband's place for that matter, coz she knows them all by their nerves.
If Sonakshi In all this tells him about all this, he will either deny the fact that she is overthinking or being insecure, or at the max will confront his mother for the same and Ishwari will like always skillfully dodge it, and Dev will again tell Sonakshi not to think it all. Dev has absolutely no sense of tackling his mother. So there's no point asking his rescue... And sonakshi understands all this.
It is actually wise on her part to not discuss all this at this point with Dev, coz most of the time, husbands are useless here. Ofcourse when things will start getting obvious and it is palpable to Dev as well, Sona expressing all this to Dev will hold more weightage and then may be he will be more helpful with Sona.
For the time being Sona dealing with her vulnerabilities alone is fine I suppose... Later on we can see her talking to him...

Aazeen, cannot disagree with you - actually I agree with you, but with disappointment or benefit of doubt 😉.
Here is the reason for my disappointment - if your analysis is true then, Dev has not learnt any lesson from the previous break-up and they may land up in the same situation as before - blind indifference and partial to mother leading to another fatal break up, where this time Sona will walk out on him. And she has all the reasons to leave him.
On the other hand, what I felt was that in these few days of marriage, Dev has grown as a character, though still not out of his mother's possession - thats why the benefit of doubt to your POV.

In essence, Sona sharing her vulnerabilities should not be confused with her accusing Ishwari - that is what the test is for our Dev babu. Only if Sona comprehends and Dev understands...