Chapter 102
Theme music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=31ArhQYGTOM&index=51&list=PLR_1V6jrYF1xxuE2ahY4ehnlscCmwJfJH
In those seven hours between remembering everything, informing his friends that he was leaving for Mumbai, securing a last minute flight ticket, 3 hours on the flight and finally landing at the Mumbai domestic terminal, each minute of which felt like a century, Manik had lived and died several times. He had felt happy, sad, shy, hopeless, angry, afraid and grateful all at the time but in each emotion he missed her. More than ever, he realized it now, just how much she meant to him & how entwined their lives were. Without her, his life had no purpose, where living and dying meant the same. Without her, his skies were grey and his days gloomy. Without her, he wasn't him anymore because the Manik he was now was not the Manik he used to be once upon a time...the one his venomous mom had raised.
He rushed out of the airport, hired a cab and went straight to her house.
At 1:30 am, still wide awake, Nandini was tossing and turning in her bed, both sad and angry at her hopeless lover. After they had spoken in the morning, she thought that he had forgiven her but when she tried calling him at 10, his phone was still switched off. Why on earth did he have to be so stubborn? If she could, she would have taken the next flight to Delhi to punch him in his belly before pulling him in a tight hug.
But just as she was lost in her thoughts, cursing Manik in between missing him, his name popped up on her screen.
All curses forgotten she hurriedly picked up the call.
"Come down fast."
'What!, where!!, how!!!!?' as usual he had not given her the time to ask anything before rudely disconnecting the call. Nandini pinched herself once and then skidded towards the window to re-confirm that she indeed wasn't hallucinating. But in her eagerness, she landed right against the wall, bruising her forehead and her right elbow. But who had time to brood about it now. Instead she ran downstairs as fast as she could and then stealthily sneaked out of the main door.
"Manik I am sorry..i am really sorry.." He didn't even let her finish, he just pulled her into his arms , arching over her, like a man possessed.
She could hear his heart beat like a maniac... even his hands wrapped around her, were trembling. Was he ok? Why was he not speaking? She tried to calm him down by rubbing his back, but his heart continued to thud just as loudly against her.
"Manik are you ok? Kya hua? Kuch to bolo.." That's when she felt his hands withdraw. He took a step back and asked her "Come with me." His eyes were moist and she wasn't having a good feeling at all. No matter how much they fought, one scratch on him and she felt breathless.
"But Manik, itni raat ko kahan? Everyone is sleeping inside, pata chal gaya to..."
"Please this one time come with me, I will drop you back before the sun rises." He was pleading as if he was too tired to fight and she had to come along, there was no way in hell she was going to leave him alone in this condition.
In the silence of the cab, she realized, he had come straight from the airport because he didn't even have his own car. Her heart went out to him, and she wondered what must have happened in Delhi to have pushed him this far. These emotional outbursts scared her, because she absolutely hated seeing him crumble like this.
He took her to his house ,up the stairs to his room and then locked the door after her. Standing close to her, he cupped her face, and planted a kiss on her forehead. Why was he staring at her as if he was seeing her for the first time? why were his eyes a mix of curious and guilty?
He was having trouble breathing, his words came out all jumbled, pointing to the table next to his bed, he mumbled in between sobs "I left the note there for you... you read it right? I am sorry I left without telling you, but trust me I had to.. I had to for your good."
Nandini felt the hair in her arms rise. Did he remember everything, even those times that the doctor had grim hopes for? How long and how desperately had she waited to hear these words...three long years, day and night she had survived with this one hope that one day he would come back and tell her why he had left her all alone. Something inside her was melting, for herself and for him, she held on to him as tightly as she could, fighting back the tears, threatening to wash her off her feet.
"Dad assured me, he will tell you, that he will make you understand that I couldn't risk your life for me.. He did right? He did tell you why I left like that.. You read my note... tell me you did." he was chocking.
What should she tell him, that she knew none of it, that his father had played a nasty game with all of them and had it not been for destiny, for their flawed stars, they would have never met again, rotting to death in two different continents. Honestly, she wanted to tell him, to vent out all her anger, to throw away things and stomp her feet. But more than that, she wanted to calm him down and love him more, if that was possible. She stayed mum, letting him derive the answer HE wanted to hear, from her silence.
He wiped his tears and took her in his lap as he settled on the bed. "Are you alright?" he kept repeating, once inspecting her finger, once caressing her back. He was living in the past, traversing from one memory to another. She could only imagine what he must have been feeling inside. He bent closer to kiss her, on her lips this time. For a long time thereafter, he kept caressing her hair as she sat curled up like a tiny puppy pressed close to his chest.
He wanted to talk and talk and talk..about every single memory they had built in the past one and a half month. He wanted to thank her for bringing music back in his life, he wanted to cradle her for the rest of his nights, he wanted to be in every poem she wrote, he wanted to see every sunrise and every sunset with her. He wanted to go back to her tiny house, to her school, to her children.. He wanted to take her back to the land of stars and fireflies. He now understood why again and again she had said 'don't leave me alone', and why she had been so sad at leaving Panchgani.
If he could bribe time to take them back, he would have sold every single belonging just to be able to relive those few days.
"I missed you Nandini" For the first time he could see his life in one straight line instead of the scattered pieces he had seen so far. He could witness himself slowly wilting into a living corpse in Denmark, right infront of his eyes. He remembered those diaries he used to write, the blank calls he used to make from the pay phone booth of the hospital lobby and then how slowly even those memories faded away and he became only a physical alibi of his earlier self. "It must have been hard for you without me.. " Was he asking or stating? Whatever it was, she couldn't bring herself to answer that. Living without him had been like living without air, but what was the point in telling him, had it not been harder for him, away from everyone. She buried her face a little more in him. His shirt was damp from her incessant tears.
"What if we hadn't met, but why didn't dad tell me about you or FAB5, why did he kept me away from you? I guess I have to talk to him..I guess I am still to know a few answers." Nandini yet again kept mum. Even she wanted to know why.
"You miss Panchgani?" He asked and this time she answered.
"Yes, but I guess I will miss it less, now that I have got you back." It wasn't the place but the memories they had made together, the days and nights they had spent together that tugged at her permanently.
"But we will go back, ok? We have to bring back the Mango plant remember? But we will go back before the monsoon is over and will just lock us up inside a room and jam for a whole day?.." She laughed amidst tears.
"Shut up Manik!! "
"What shut up? Last time we missed it because of your stupid silly problem."
"Oh really, and you made up for it, that too in Panchgani." But that had been different and they both knew it. It had been one of their most painful nights together. Yes, they had made love, but not out of pleasure or passion..
"Does it still hurt?" He asked, stroking her waist tenderly.
Again she burst out into a giggle. "I will tell you the next time it happens which is in a few days. But if you continue being as awesome as you were last time, I am ready to suffer all my life."
"Shut up Nanidni!"
"Acha suno, I got hurt here" and she showed him her bruised forehead and elbow.
Making a face at her for her callousness, he lovingly smothered both the bruises with kisses. "Aur kanhi?" He asked, wanting her to say 'yes' and 'No' at the same time.
Too greedy to let go of an open invitation, she showed him both her hands and then gathered her long tresses to one side, laying her neck bare for him to love her some more. He kept on healing her with his lips and she showed him more and more wounds, some visible, some that she made up. And finally she showed him her heart and he pressed his lips on it from over her kurti, sending tremors all over. She pulled his arms and made him hold her tighter around her waist.
"Are you still angry with me?" she finally asked.
"shh.." he sealed her lips with another kiss. So stupid of him for having misunderstood her.
"Main wo Neel ki wajah se hi gaya tha. Ranbir and Navya bhi the mere sath."
Nandini was surprised to hear Navya's name. Coming from Manik, it was a massive shock for her. "To ekbari bol nahi sakte the..."
"yes, I could have, but you know my problem Nandini, I don't like explaining myself to the people who love me. I think trust should be blind. If you trust me, you trust me at any cost.. But may be, I should have told you...u know I can be idiotic at times."
He was right, Nandini thought. She should have trusted him blindly. He had proved it with his life that he loved her more than anything. How many times did he have to prove that to her, how many more ordeals did he have to go through?
"Manik, I am scared."
"Kyun? Abhi to we are together. To why are you scared?"
"Every time we are together, every time we are happy, something wrong happens. Right from the beginning, it's as if we can't stay happy for long. Kal Amms aa rahi hai and I donno ki who kya drama karengi I am scared for us...I can't afford to lose us once again. Bohot ho gaya."
And then he said something completely unexpected, in a dreamy voice, as if reading from the pages of his memory
"Do you remember the two rules you had set for me in Panchgani... do you remember the second rule? - you are only ever allowed to love me. Even when I am mad at you, or I am at my absolute worst, you can't walk away. You have to deal with me any which way, but U can't leave, or u can't go to anyone else. You have brought this upon yourself and now you are imprisoned."
"yes I do"
"How can I let anything wrong happen to us, when I have to love you all my life. Waise I know this isn't the time, and definitely not the right way but I just don't want us to be like this anymore.."
"Like what?"
"Aise chori chori meet karna...so I was thinking, lets get married.."
For a whole two minutes she gaped at him, wide eyed and then like an errant kid she started cribbing with a pout "Nahi nahi , this is not done.. This is so not done.. Where's my ring.. And aise nahi bolna tha. See you have to do it again in a proper way... on the beach under the stars with a big ring." However, in her heart, she silently said 'I am already married to you Manik. And no you don't have to bring a ring, or say it below the stars. Any day, anywhere you ask, I am there for you..always was, always will.'
"Ok yeh Neel ka chapter pehle close karte hain and then I will do it the proper way? Ok? And in any case wo tumhara blank wish bhi to pura karna hai, kitni mehnat ki thi tumne to win it...my Gawd!!"
*******
Few hours ago when Manik was desperately wanting time to run fast, it was barely crawling and now that he was wishing for it to stop, it was literally flying away from his hands. They had no idea how and when the hours had flown by and now he had to drop her home before her Hitler granny landed and found her absconding once again.
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A/N: I posted really early :) But next one will take time. My work these days has become crazy so.. Weekdays r bad. Also wanted to inform you i will be out of town from 7th to 12th. I will try to post in between, but it will be slow.
CID
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
