"A mighty pain to love it is,
And tis a pain that pain to miss;
But of all pains, the greatest pain
It is to love, but love in vain"
- Abraham Cowley
I still remember the day you walked into my life like a breath of fresh air.
My attraction towards you was not because you were beautiful, though you are,
It was to your soul, the purity that exists there, to the wonderful soul that you are.
The childlike innocence in your words that charmed my heart.
The smile that adorns your face makes me believe that life is more beautiful than ever before.
The very smile that hides pain and sadness from the world.
You strengthened my belief that nothing can ever be more beautiful than a real smile like yours.
A smile that has struggled through tears.
You and Me. Me and you.
Two people, two different journeys, but travelling with the same pain.
Two people who were forever destined to meet.
Finally, the loneliness found a companion.
A loner that I was, hiding myself within the cage that I had sculpted for myself,
And there you came breaking it open bit by bit,
Lighting my world that was filled with darkness with your laughter and smiles.
You spread a joy within me that can never vanish.
Every time I see you smile, I smile.
Was it ever possible for me to care for someone who was not family.
Absolutely not my mind countered.
Until she came said my heart smirking in victory.
Then, there aroused the constant need to protect you from every danger,
From every hurt in this world.
Your tears became my undoing.
Clearing your name was not a necessity anymore, it became a need.
The day I realised to put a smile on your face, I will do anything. I will give up anything.
Coz' I love seeing you smile.
When this friendship turned to love, I may never know.
That day when I saw you lying there unmoving, so very still
My heart stopped beating.
My mind began to shut down, unwilling to think of the worst anymore.
My soul ached to touch you, to hold you, to protect you
You, my reason for being.
You, who breezes through life in motion, never stopping
With an intention to conquer the entire world
Oh! How much my heart ached to see you and your twinkling smile once again.
I moved to get you, alas! He was faster.
My soul broke to see another holding you, but your safety was my priority.
Will I ever give myself up for you? Yes, but I will never give you up.
I kept calling out to you with a faint hope
A hope that you will respond to my voice; A hope that you will wake up hearing it.
You did not. He woke you up.
A stray tear rolled down my cheek, but I did not care.
I smiled knowing you will once again walk in my life, smiling like never before.
It was more than enough for me.
They say the mind knows what the heart refuses to understand.
Fact.
My mind knew you were too good to be true.
Too good to be mine.
My heart did not accept it.
The growing closeness between you and him was destined my brain said.
She was never meant to be yours.
She will never look at you the same way she looks at him said my fallen heart
With finality, aching in pain for its beloved.
She was my almost.
It hurts.
It hurts more than ever to know
I will never be her ever.
This does not matter.
Let her be loved. The way she is meant to be loved
Let her smile. The way she is meant to smile.
Let him be the reason for her everything.
But let anything that will hurt her, hurt me
Her smile should never falter.
Will I be alone? No, my loneliness and sculptures will always be with me.
In her memories, smiles, joys
I will spend living my days.
My love for you was accidental
But true, it was.
Will I ever be able to let go of you? Never.
You will reside in my memories as my first love, now my friend
Till the end of time.
Always keep smiling,
That is all my heart wishes for you.
**End**
Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon
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