Doubt cleared :) - Another segment (OLV+IV)

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BLR_babe

@BLR_babe

Rocker

+ 4

Posted: 9 years ago

#41

Originally posted by: LIKEDMG
I donno why all r accusing Aditya..if it wud b shravan then it's natural but think that Aditya gonna b her future husband .. If she can sex with same guy after a day later then what is diff if he wud tie that? 😕

i cant believe u said that .. it not abt the dori or what he would be in future .. when she refused and said dont i am not comfortable .. a decent human being backs off .. he cant force himself on her even after marriage .. she has always kept him at arms distance ..she is not comfortable like she is with shravan ..

its a matter of wanting .. she has always desired shravan .. if she was married to Adi then also sumo wd have taken time to get comfortable ard Adi .. these things are quiet sensitive and end of the day consent matters

Edited by --BLRbabe-- - 9 years ago

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naaznin

@naaznin

Sparkler

+ 10

Posted: 9 years ago

#42

Originally posted by: --BLRbabe--

i cant believe u said that .. it not what he asked her and what he would be in future .. when she refused and said dont i am not comfortable .. a decent human being backs off .. he cant force himself on her even after marriage .. she has always kept him at arms distance ..she is not comfortable like she is with shravan ..

its a matter of wanting .. she has always desired shravan .. if she was married to Adi then also sumo wd have taken time to get comfortable ard Adi .. these things are quiet sensitive and end of the day consent matters

srsly hw cn ppl support marital rape...a boy also knws wen d girl is comfortbale wid touching and a decent boy wud nt do it if girl is uncomfortable...and give tym to d girl...here aditya knws suman is nt happy..still he is forcing himself on her..

in many shows man manhandles woman..but dere difference between protagonist and villains..in most passionate shows male protagonist manhandles their lady love bt dey never get phsical lyk adi is doing here..forcefully getting physical creates a trauma and is very difficult to heal..and here is nt seducing like heroes do but he is forceful wid her...he is molesting her

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Sumaiya

@sumaiya-kay

Rocker

+ 4

Posted: 9 years ago

#43

Originally posted by: LIKEDMG
I donno why all r accusing Aditya..if it wud b shravan then it's natural but think that Aditya gonna b her future husband .. If she can sex with same guy after a day later then what is diff if he wud tie that? 😕

The key word here is consent! No one has a right to touch you unless you explicitly allow them to do so...Suman hasn't consented to Aditya touching her...In fact she can barely stand him...He needs to respect the boundaries that Suman has set till she herself is willing to be touched by him whether they're married or not! Once he crosses those boundaries it becomes harassment of a sexual nature and therefore a despicable act!

With Shravan it's different because she's in love with him and whatever transpires between them would be by mutual consent hence why no one would have a problem with it...

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A.Hajnal

@A.Hajnal

Dazzler

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#44

Originally posted by: LIKEDMG
I donno why all r accusing Aditya..if it wud b shravan then it's natural but think that Aditya gonna b her future husband .. If she can sex with same guy after a day later then what is diff if he wud tie that? 😕

It's about the comfort level and more than that, her will. With Shravan she has an emotional and physical comfort, and she would have let him on her will. That's the difference.

And about marrying Aditya, who is in their right minds thinks that it's a must to have sex on the same night they get married? Why they must have sex? Marriage isn't about that, it's more than having the freedom to have sex with the woman whenever he wants to...

And first of all, being married doesn't give any right to the man over the woman's body, it's hers. Being married doesn't mean that the woman is giving up her own body.

What do you think? That the man has to only get married to her and then he can do what the hell wants with her body, whenever he wants? What she thinks, feels and wants doesn't count? And why? Oh, yes, because he married her. Getting married to a man means she must lay there, unmoving, let the man do what the hell he wants to because it's his 'right'.

No matter what the hell our society says, marriage by law and religion both don't give any liberty to the man to force himself on her. Marrying her doesn't mean that the man gets away with forcing her, raping her just because he is the husband. I mean, what the hell? How can we, in this age and time, still think that there is no such thing called marital rape and that after marriage he can do what the hell he wants to do with her...

I can't believe that even our generation goes with the thought 'So, what? He is her husband.' You don't get to say that, you, the child of this generation don't get to make a girl feel that she is obligated to just lay there and let the man do what the hell he wants to because it's his bloody 'right'...

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LIKEDMG

@LIKEDMG

Sparkler

Posted: 9 years ago

#45

Originally posted by: --BLRbabe--

i cant believe u said that .. it not abt the dori or what he would be in future .. when she refused and said dont i am not comfortable .. a decent human being backs off .. he cant force himself on her even after marriage .. she has always kept him at arms distance ..she is not comfortable like she is with shravan ..

its a matter of wanting .. she has always desired shravan .. if she was married to Adi then also sumo wd have taken time to get comfortable ard Adi .. these things are quiet sensitive and end of the day consent matters

thats my point...forcing is nt good..but more fault in these case is suman...any girl doesn't like the guy to any intimacy wid him...not comfortable ...she shud ask for time for marriage...or disagree ...there are lots of arrange marriages...girls r getting prepare for for that...men r always possessive over their spouse or wud b spouse..y always showing girls molestation or forcing? Why don't show their spine to say no before?isnt it natural for Aditya being insecure?shravan is insecure for same thing...

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LIKEDMG

@LIKEDMG

Sparkler

Posted: 9 years ago

#46

Originally posted by: naaju

srsly hw cn ppl support marital rape...a boy also knws wen d girl is comfortbale wid touching and a decent boy wud nt do it if girl is uncomfortable...and give tym to d girl...here aditya knws suman is nt happy..still he is forcing himself on her..

in many shows man manhandles woman..but dere difference between protagonist and villains..in most passionate shows male protagonist manhandles their lady love bt dey never get phsical lyk adi is doing here..forcefully getting physical creates a trauma and is very difficult to heal..and here is nt seducing like heroes do but he is forceful wid her...he is molesting her

U get wrong..it's not supporting forcing or marital rape...it's abt the women ...why shud not they shown guts to say no ? Why they need another man from saving molesting? When suman agrees for marriage...and takes it arrange marriage ...then it's natural to physical intimacy from Aditya ...even he asked her if she is comfortable for marrying in 5 days...if she isn't ready she shud ask for time...as she doesn't comfortable wid Aditya ... She shud think pros n cons of it...actually every girl shud think before any relationship...forcing marriage is same as forcing sex...in soap n cinema they glamourised this but real that's not true...

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LIKEDMG

@LIKEDMG

Sparkler

Posted: 9 years ago

#47

Originally posted by: A.Hajnal

It's about the comfort level and more than that, her will. With Shravan she has an emotional and physical comfort, and she would have let him on her will. That's the difference.

And about marrying Aditya, who is in their right minds thinks that it's a must to have sex on the same night they get married? Why they must have sex? Marriage isn't about that, it's more than having the freedom to have sex with the woman whenever he wants to...

And first of all, being married doesn't give any right to the man over the woman's body, it's hers. Being married doesn't mean that the woman is giving up her own body.

What do you think? That the man has to only get married to her and then he can do what the hell wants with her body, whenever he wants? What she thinks, feels and wants doesn't count? And why? Oh, yes, because he married her. Getting married to a man means she must lay there, unmoving, let the man do what the hell he wants to because it's his 'right'.

No matter what the hell our society says, marriage by law and religion both don't give any liberty to the man to force himself on her. Marrying her doesn't mean that the man gets away with forcing her, raping her just because he is the husband. I mean, what the hell? How can we, in this age and time, still think that there is no such thing called marital rape and that after marriage he can do what the hell he wants to do with her...

I can't believe that even our generation goes with the thought 'So, what? He is her husband.' You don't get to say that, you, the child of this generation don't get to make a girl feel that she is obligated to just lay there and let the man do what the hell he wants to because it's his bloody 'right'...

Hinjal...if u think that is not correct then it's not a girls responsibility to say no as its her life only...whatever u hv written is theory wise true...but doesn't apply in real...for reality girls shud say no before these things go worst...n I m always against to blame others when fault is more suman...Aditya cud b aggressive ...cud b possessive...cud b insane lover...she shud say no when she isn't ready ...shud take 2 months time...or call off...I know this is a show...but y all time it is shown that a strong girl can b molest ..when she has chanced to say no...

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BLR_babe

@BLR_babe

Rocker

+ 4

Posted: 9 years ago

#48

Originally posted by: LIKEDMG

thats my point...forcing is nt good..but more fault in these case is suman...any girl doesn't like the guy to any intimacy wid him...not comfortable ...she shud ask for time for marriage...or disagree ...there are lots of arrange marriages...girls r getting prepare for for that...men r always possessive over their spouse or wud b spouse..y always showing girls molestation or forcing? Why don't show their spine to say no before?isnt it natural for Aditya being insecure?shravan is insecure for same thing...

this is a different talk ... as far as suman saying no goes .. Only person she held off wedding talk was for shravan when he broke all relation with her she agreed to get married .. maybe under duress but she made a choice ..it is still her choice .. if there was hope of shravan she wd have definitely said no ...

in ideal world suman wd have asked for time to get comfortable but right now all she is thinking is going away from pain .. till now Adi had been more less decent with her so she doesnt think its such a bad idea .. she has come to terms with marriage

possessiveness and insecurity is a dangerous combination then mixed with suspicion is lethal .. its takes a strong person to battle all these and come out a winner ..

yeah Adi is insecure but he doesnt get to assert his position on unwilling sumo to prove a point .. difference in shravan was when he felt insecure he still believed suman to come to him he didnt try to assert his right over her ..

Spouses feel a right over each other because they r given that right and that right is earned not just coz they r married ...

as far as intimacy is considered NO means No .. no matter who is it or what the situation is

Edited by --BLRbabe-- - 9 years ago

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A.Hajnal

@A.Hajnal

Dazzler

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#49

Originally posted by: LIKEDMG

Hinjal...if u think that is not correct then it's not a girls responsibility to say no as its her life only...whatever u hv written is theory wise true...but doesn't apply in real...for reality girls shud say no before these things go worst...n I m always against to blame others when fault is more suman...Aditya cud b aggressive ...cud b possessive...cud b insane lover...she shud say no when she isn't ready ...shud take 2 months time...or call off...I know this is a show...but y all time it is shown that a strong girl can b molest ..when she has chanced to say no...

Saying 'No' is the first thing any girl/boy should do if they aren't into the marriage, if they don't know the person, I agree. But that's is what is true theory wise...The reality is that many people give in and say yes to marrying someone because of many reasons. Be it for their parents or because of financial and social pressure. There are so many reasons why they agree. In the same way, even Suman agreed. She should have said no and called off the marriage, but Nanu's health made her agree.

And anyway, do you aspect a girl to say no to a rishat which seems good enough because she isn't ready for the physical aspect of a marriage? That doesn't happen in real world. You can say yes without worrying about that too much because that isn't the marriage, but just an aspect of it. Which needs time, and with time can be solved. Many people are okay with that part of marriage after getting to know the person, they get comfortable with the idea of that kind of intimacy after spending so much time with their spouses. And anyway, there are other things that are more important and rare to find when you are trying to judge if the person is right for you or not. And unfortunately, for our girls, physical attraction isn't something on the base of which they can say no.

There have been many girls, even boys who have gotten married with people they barely knew, for a reason or other, but that doesn't mean they were ready or had said 'yes' for a physical relationship. That is a part of marriage, not THE marriage. And like any other aspect, time is needed to build up that kind intimacy and trust in a relationship.

NOT ANYONE should expect that a girl to have sex with the man just because a few hours before he married her. Is she a thing that he can have after paying a price? The price which in this case is a marriage? I mean, how can people have sex with someone you bearly know? Shouldn't there be a difference between a prostitute and a wife? I don't think there is any if the man thinks he can have sex with her because he paid for it by marrying her, from the night they got married to every night, whenever he wants.

I don't think so. Forget girls, there are men who aren't comfortable with that level of intimacy with a girl they just met a few weeks ago, with someone they barely had a conversation with. It's awkward, to say the least.

That is why I don't think Suman is wrong if she thought she won't have to deal with that part of marriage so soon. She was ready to move away, ready to give up on PCT, I think she thought that was enough to prove she can handle this thing called marriage. She didn't think by saying yes, she is inviting a physical and sexual assault on her.

Aditya is acting possessive, is aggressive and insane because that's how he is. He would have been this way even if the girl wasn't Suman. We can't blame the victim here. Possessiveness and obsessiveness aren't something provocation by the victim, it's already a part of the criminal's mindset and being...

Yes, I agree that we should get to know the person we are thinking of marrying, but the truth is that not everyone in our society has that kind of luxury. I wish we all had, but we don't...

Edited by A.Hajnal - 9 years ago