SachKehRahaHaiDeewana || DevAkshi OS

Dev Dixit stumbled against the side of his car with a thud, not believing his eyes. The smile that adorned Sonakshi Bose's face, from a distance, lit up his entire world. However, the fact that, the smile that very lovingly used to be directed at him, had found another recipient, was why his heart felt like it had been pierced by needles. In his pained state, he failed to recognise the difference between his lady love's smiles. The smile she had on her face when she was with him, reached her eyes, whereas the one she had donned now, was merely stretched on her face, looking slightly forceful.

Drenched from head to toe in Delhi's torrential rain, which seemed to mimic his torn state of mind, Dev got into his car, driving to a supposed unknown destination. His left hand reached for and rotated the volume button, making the lilting notes louder as they wafted to his ears.

Sach keh raha hai deewana
Dil...dil na kisi se lagana

The smile that graced his face was a sad one, as he contemplated the truthfulness behind the lyrics. No, he didn't regret a single moment spent with Sonakshi - on the contrary, he cherished every single second. However, this constant ache in his heart - the ache that was soothed by one glace at her face, one syllable out of her mouth and one touch from her - was too much to bear.

Jhuthe hai yaar ke vaade sare
Jhuthi hai pyaar ki kasmen
Maine har lamha
Jise chaha, jise puja
Usi ne yaaron mera dil
Toda toda, tanha tanha chhoda

He wondered if Sonakshi was listening to the radio right now. Was she blaming him the way he was blaming himself? Was she thinking of him at all? Did the guilt of breaking up with him haunt her? How could she look so happy with someone else? He shook his head and cursed himself for the millionth time that day. HE was the one who broke up with her. HE was the reason behind her tears and her broken voice that day. The guilt gnawed at him day in and out. He had even reverted back to consuming sleeping pills before bed, despite her reprimanding. He recalled her words 'aap apna haq kho chuke hain, Mr. Dixit'. Thus, he had no right to call her when he couldn't sleep at night. He had brought it upon himself. He left her alone when he had promised her otherwise. He had told her that he would do whatever it takes to be with her. How naive was that promise? How empty would it have seemed to her at this point in time? The vows that he had mouthed to her during Neha's wedding would hold no place in her life, would they? Petty lies, that's what they seemed like to him. How could he tell her that those very words were embedded in his core - for her? How could he let her know that the very strong Dev Dixit she had fallen for was helpless? How could he let her know that he regretted every second of that fateful day? How could he tell her that he didn't know what to do? How could he say that he wanted to fight - fight for their love, when the fight was against the very being he had deemed to be his 'God'?

A lone tear made its way down his cheek that was already covered with rain droplets, and the voice of the singer once again filled his car.

Sundar...sundar vo haseena badi
Sundar sundar
Main toh khone laga
Uske nashe mein
Bin piye behka

He smiled to himself. Dev Dixit prided himself on being a teetotaller. Never had he needed the support of alcohol; despite the curveballs life threw at him. However, being in love with her, felt as though he was at an all-time high. He felt like he walked on a cloud. He never wanted to leave her side. She was beautiful - inside and out. She made him want to be a better man; for her sake. She made him see things in a whole new light; things that he otherwise would never have thought about. Things like his mother's happiness when he joined the 'havan'; things like wearing different coloured shirts. He thought back to their arguments, her simple way of making him understand her point of view. Indeed, she was a beautiful human being. He really didn't deserve her.

Ek din usse bhula dunga main
Uske nishaan mita dunga main
Chahunga na main us pathar ko
Jaa use bata de.

Sonakshi Bose had just changed into her pyjamas after her date with Ritwik. He really was a nice guy. He understood her qualms about a marriage, about her past and come to come to terms with it. She had liked talking to him. He had made her smile and laugh. But not like Dev had. She shook her head and focused on the song that was playing on the radio. Elena loved listening to music before bedtime and didn't even bother shutting it down sometimes before she fell asleep. 'It helps me go off to sleep', she had said. Sonakshi was about to shut the music off when she paid attention to the lyrics. Her rueful smile conveyed volumes. How she wished she could move past everything. She really was trying, but how could she forget him? He was kind, strong and he just got her in the way no one else did. Yes, he needed her at times, but that's what a relationship was supposed to be, right? Being there for one another? She didn't see how the man who had said 'you're mine, Sonakshi!' could utter the hateful words he had that day in the hospital. She couldn't process how everything they had been through and communicated felt as though wisps of smoke! Tears fell from her eyes faster than she could say 'Dev'.

Mausam...mausam
Tha suhana bada
Mausam...mausam
Maine dekha use
Hua main paagal
Bas pal bhar mein

Dev smiled through his tears as he recalled the night when the two of them had danced with reckless abandon in the rain. He thought back to how ethereal she had looked, in that beautiful blue outfit, her smile brighter than anything he had ever seen. The amount of pain he had, the amount of stiffness that he carried himself with, all dissolved at her silliness, with that radiant smile. How he wished he could go back to her on this rainy day, dance with her like and forget what had happened, what had transpired between them on that fateful day. How he wished things were different. He wanted her to smile, for him; with him. He wanted to dance like a child, and bask in the comfort of her presence. The dried tear tracks found themselves wet again as fresh tears sprouted in his eyes.

Aake basi hai vo
Mere mann mein
Uski kami hai ab jeevan mein
Vo dur hai meri nazron se
Kyun use main chaahun

Dev Dixit hadn't known love. When he had seen her face for the first time in his mind's eye, he knew he couldn't stay a moment longer without telling her how he felt. When he had realised how his mother had almost died in his arms, he hadn't spared a single minute in telling Sonakshi that they were over. The second she had walked away from him, he had felt as though she had been taking a part of him with her - as though he'd never truly smile again, as though there was a gaping hole in the middle of his chest and it was a wonder that no one else could see it. But that's what he prided himself over. He had never let anyone see how he felt - not even his mother. She could usually sense something was wrong though. She couldn't anymore. And he didn't know who was to blame for that. He didn't want to lose his mother, nor did he want to lose the love of his life, Sonakshi. But it seemed as though both of them were drifting away from him, and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

Maine har lamha, jise chaha jise puja
Usi ne yaaron mera dil, toda toda, tanha tanha chhoda...

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So that's a wrap! Reviews and suggestions are welcome! :)