A puff of dust escaped like a sigh when a delicately carved and lovingly painted green window shutter was flung open by wind as it forcefully tried to get out. Just like Zoya who ran outside the house and sat down with a thump on and old rocking chair on the porch setting it in a rickety motion. She sobbed hiding her face in her two shaking hands her whole body shuddering with those sobs.
It was raining steadily. Thunder and lightning had lessened. But sheets of rain constantly fell from dark sky.
Asad had slumped down on the floor coming to rest against a chest of drawers - a defeated man with his head in one hand and other lying listlessly by his side, staring into nothingness. A bronze flower vase that set atop the chest fell down and with that fell the dust of flowers of yore and a sweet smell spread in the air. The vase clanked on the floor and rolled down the length of the long hall coming to rest under a photograph - a black and white family photo. Entire family seemed to be obeying the military command of Attention' except the tiny baby in mother's arms who seemed to be flailing its hands and crying defying every set norm.
Of course, Asad didn't care about where the vase had made its journey nor he saw other photographs on the walls of the family that grew and the tiny baby that had turned into a mischievous child and later a beautiful girl.
It was a indeed a loss for his fine architect's eyes which would have otherwise observed and admired demure flowers peering from faded frescos, fine filigree that adorned ceiling, neat positioning of windows that cross-ventilated the house on hot summer days and cool terracotta tiles that soothed tired feet. He would have guessed house to be at least a half century old. He would have commented on strength of foundation and thick walls that provided natural cooling. He would have easily guessed that owners were wealthy yet those who enjoyed summers enveloped in rustic charm.
It was indeed a loss that Zoya's curious feet were tucked tightly in on the chair where she sat and not wandered in the house as they missed a chance to take her to large kitchen even larger than the main hall where ladies of the family had cooked fragrant meals and wide verandah where pickles were made using the fresh mangoes that came from family orchard. One could still smell raw mangoes. She would have exclaimed seeing a well in backyard which still had sweet water inside its cemented mouth. She would have made a correct guess of children shrinking their noses on being forced to drink frothy hot fresh cow milk. It was indeed a loss that she didn't make guesses about colorful marbles and skipping rope and wooden top with its thread lost forever which were lying there in upstairs rooms.
The house would have welcomed loving glances and touch. It was sad it did not get what it craved for.
Pain of being falsely accused, pain of being not trusted, pain of the thought that Asad could even think of a possibility of her being unfaithful - Asad, her world - flowed through her eyes. Rationality was too stunned now to raise anger. It was just heart - whole heart - that hurt like never before. How could he?
How could she? It started with working hours that spilled in evenings and then night; phone calls that disturbed what he thought was sanctity of home. Alas, a mirror that reflected his own work habits could have helped. He - Faisal - could make her laugh. Something that he could not. Earlier she used to laugh at him, later she had taught him to laugh with her, but he still did not how to make her laugh, but he could - roaring laughter that brought tears in her eyes. How often he came in her talks! She understood architecture, but sadly her work was Greek & Latin to him, but not to him. Once she had hugged him while saying good bye on airport. He had just turned around after pulling her mammoth bag from the conveyor belt. And, there he was back from winter holidays just like them hugging her. Asad had momentarily looked away and then put on a smile that manners demanded. He had wanted to possessively wrap his arm around Zoya's shoulder but he did not like public display of affection. But, he had not been able to stop himself from holding her hand; its warmth and softness and perfect fit to his own hand assuring him that she was his.
Often he could not believe his luck that someone like Zoya loved him and left her world, her Aapi-Jeeju, her friends and her work to be with him. She was both his sister and mother's best friend. She could make ever nervous Prasad calm and ever cocky, Parvez - Najma's husband squirm. She could make him feel love. It was her presence in her life that had acquainted him with his own heart and his unfathomable capacity to love. In high points and in low points, it scared him how much he loved her and what would he do without her. Faisal's presence in their life had watered these seeds unbeknownst to him.
The seed had broken ground two months ago. He had gone to her office to give her, her lucky scarf that she had forgotten at home. She was going out for a conference. She had left for the office in the evening and was going to catch a night flight. She was to be gone for five days. His mood was off but he hadn't shown it. They had just celebrated their first wedding anniversary. Neither had been able to take days off and an anniversary honeymoon according to her, a vacation according to him was postponed to a future date. He was near the reception signing security register; purple silk scarf safely tucked in inner pocket of his coat and then he had seen them. At the end of an empty corridor embracing each other in lover's embrace. They had not seen him. Faisal's eyes were closed and Zoya's back faced Asad. They were too lost in each other to notice anyone else. She had risen on her heels to wrap her arms around his neck; the very same way when she hugged Asad. Lights had dimmed to conserve energy and it just heightened the mood of stolen romance. He had not known till then that heart really broke and caused physical pain. Night time security guard had strangely looked at him when he had left after signing in the register. Life had given him same fate his mother - a cheating spouse. All he waited now was abandonment. He was so afraid that he could not even bring himself to confront her for what he saw lest she say that yes, she loved Faisal and not him and wanted to leave him. The wound festered underneath the surface till today, when it was laid open.
It seemed Zoya had fallen asleep of exhaustion, rhythmic motion of chair and soothing sound of rain lulling her to peace. She woke up with a start when she heard a gunshot. Her singular focus was on the ringing in her ears as her hands tightly gripped arms of the rocker. What happened? Where was she? Asad? Where was Asad? Everything came back with a crash - where she was, why they were here, what had happened. There was a gun shot. Was it a gun shot? Or, was she imagining things? Where was Asad? She hastily got up from chair and again set down. Her left leg was numb for being tucked in for long. How long had she been asleep? Rain had stopped and instead mist surrounded her. She observed as she rubbed her leg to bring it back to life. Mist was thick. She had never seen something like this before. "Asad..." she frantically rubbed her leg and looked around for any sign of him. But all that was there was mist and quiet. Sky was still filled with dark clouds but it seems they were taking a break after the spectacular show they had put on. And, wind was accompanying them. After so much of commotion earlier, the silence felt oppressing. Her leg was coming back to life. "Aah...," now, it was breaking into pins and needles. But she had got her feet back in her bellies. Her bellies squished as she found her way back to door. Allah...her leg hurt. She had to take support of door frame. Neither the road that had got them here nor the trees around the house were visible. Everything was enveloped in swirling mist. She broke into cold sweat and shouted "Asad...". But, there was no response.
The mist had covered inside, too. She hesitated at the door and fumbled to get her cell phone out of her pants pocket. What was this smell? She got out her phone but it slipped from her sweaty palms. It fell on its edge. It was not a ball and yet it bounced and again fell and this time the tempered glass cracked. Now it lied flat on floor its screen glowing. Zoya bent down towards light and saw the jagged crack that ran diagonally from one corner of the screen till its center - over Asad's face on the screen wallpaper. The screen cast bluish light on the mist that had started covering it. Her hand still hovering over this phenomenon, she heard the sound of rusty shutter moving as if by wind. Her eyes followed the sound and she saw that on the opposite side of the wall also had windows and one of it was wide open. When she looked down the screen had gone dark. She never could figure out the reason why but she grabbed the phone and dashed for that window. She jumped out of the window and on there he was at the end of the porch with his back to her.
"Asad...," she ran towards him her bellies squishing. She always hated that squeaky sound.
He did not hear her and kept walking. The corridor ended in backyard and backyard in orchard and orchard in forest. He kept walking.
"Asad...," Why wasn't he listening? And, where was he going? She stopped at the edge of the corridor and shouted his name.
"Asad...," Her scream made leaves shiver. But, he kept going never turning back and quickly disappeared in darkness leaving her, leaving her alone.
Asad hated her so much that he had left her in the middle of the night at a strange place. She could not run after him as the realization that Asad had left her left her frozen. How could he do this to her? Where was his humanity?
"Asad...," she whimpered. "How could you do this to me, Asad? How could you? You promised that you would stay by my side forever, Asad. How could you?" Garbled words came out of her mouth and tears drenched her face. Where had she gone wrong? "Asad...," she fell down on her knees and covering her face with her hands.
She again heard a gunshot and this time a muffled cry, too.
She opened her eyes wide and looked where Asad had gone. What was happening? Asad was there. The orchard where he had disappeared into looked very far now. She rubbed her teary eyes to clear her vision. Her heart had started hammering again. Her wobbly knees were not supporting her weight and she fell on floor. She instinctively placed her palm on floor to keep her balance and her head turn on side. She was at the window where she had jumped from. Faint outline of the hall and even windows on other side could be seen. She had ran the length of the porch to reach Asad. How come she was here? She was extremely confused. She looked back towards the porch end. There he was standing. What was going on? She felt extremely annoyed now. Was he there or was her exhausted mind conjuring images?
"Asad...," she tentatively called his name and he turned around. She saw him running towards her before her eyes closed.
"Zoya...Zoya...open your eyes." Water was splashed on her face.
"Zoya..." Asad's worried face came in her sight.
"Asad..." Her voice was feeblest.
"Yes, Zoya." He splashed some more rain water. It had started raining again.
She looked at him and again at the end of the porch and at the window. "You...you were there." She pointed her finger at the end of the porch.
"Yes. I was here and I saw you fainting." His voice was shaking. His grip on her form tightened.
"What happened, Zoya?"
She whimpered and buried her face in his shoulder. He warily looked at the window she had jumped from. He could feel her hammering heart against his chest, her sweaty skin on his own and her ice cold hands going around his neck. He gathered her even close and looked around for any danger.
"Zoya, please tell me what happened. Why are you so scared?" He worriedly asked as his eyes kept moving around. But there was absolute quiet around them. Even the rain was quiet.
Zoya couldn't get anything other than his name from her mouth. He kept a watchful eye on their surroundings but kept murmuring soothing words and kept running her hand over head. After few minutes, she was calmer and he tried to disengage himself to take a look at her, but she whimpered and resisted getting out of his arms.
"What happened, Zoya? Please tell me." He asked in gentlest voice.
"I heard a gunshot." She whispered.
He loosened his embrace and cradled her head in his palm as he tried to make out her features. "Gun shot?"
"Yes. I thought of you. I tried to find you. But, you were not anywhere. Then I came here and saw you and I shouted your name. But, you were walking and kept walking and you disappeared in that orchard." Her fingers were again pointing towards orchard and her eyes were filled with fear. "You never looked back. You never listened to me. You left me." She sounded hysterical.
Asad again hugged her but conflict flickered in his eyes. He had stepped out because inside he had felt suffocated. And, his thoughts were on the same matter but in his mind Zoya was leaving him. What was she up to? She was the one who had cheated on him and now it seemed that even the thought of him leaving her had left her shattered. Could they forget everything that had happened? Did he have it in him to forgive her and take her back in her life? Otherwise, he was to do what she was fearing, right? He was contemplating divorce. The thought were piercing his heart, too. But, yes, he was contemplating divorce.
Zoya was unaware of the conflict in his heart. "And, this mist. What is this?" She looked around and clutched his shirt.
"Asad...I don't know...I heard a gun shot...my leg was numb so I could not get up quickly and all this mist. See nothing is visible. Where is that tree that was struck by lightning? I could not make out anything. Asad, I don't know. I was so disoriented. I...I...," She was still very scared.
"Shh...shh...calm down. There was no gun shot. I was here only. I did not hear anything. You had fallen asleep, haan? You must have woken up due to some bad dream or just a start. You just conjured images as you were in an unknown place."
Zoya made a noncommittal sound.
"And, your squeaky shoes would have driven you crazy." He could not help but fondly look towards her feet even though he could not see them in dark.
"And, this mist. We are in the forest. The rains have stopped but air is heavily laden with moisture. Night has fallen so temperature has fallen. I guess that's why we have mist." He tried to reason. Facts were an easy topic. And, he needed to concentrate on those facts otherwise he would take back this vulnerable woman in a heartbeat. He kept her close but his face had gone hard. He wanted to hate this woman but it was so hard to hate her. He needed to concentrate on facts.
He looked around one more time and he did find the mist strange. He hadn't noticed it so far as he was lost in his thoughts. But what do city-bred people like he and Zoya knew about such natural phenomenon?
"My phone still doesn't have signal. We had come here to find a telephone. Let's go inside and see if the house has a telephone and call someone." He kept his voice gentle.
Zoya looked up to his face and then at the house and then nodded her head in denial.
"Zoya, you just scared yourself. It is dark. The house is unknown. The mist is strange."
She still nodded her head.
"We need to call someone or we will be stuck here till morning. Only then we may find other cars on highway."
That thought scared her even more. She looked at the cracked phone in her hand and checked signal one more time. They needed a telephone.
"Let's go and check if there is a phone." Zoya stepped out from his embrace and took a deep breath.
"Feeling better?" She nodded.
On far horizon, lightning was flashing again.
She took a handful of steps towards the same window she had jumped from and again she stopped.
"There was a gun shot. My ears rang. What if...what if...there is someone?"
"A mad man?" He managed to chuckle. "Zoya, you watch too many movies."
Under the circumstances too she managed to pout and took few more steps tightly holding his hand.
A lightning flashed close and she screamed.
"Asad, my clothes have blood."
"Zoya...what nonse...," He stopped as there was one more lightning flash. There were red marks on her white silk blouse.
"Asad, there is blood on your hands." Her eyes again got filed with fright. "Asad, what is going on? This house...this house..."
Asad paid attention to his palms. They were red. Then he realized something and smiled.
"Zoya...Zoya...this is not blood."
"What do you mean it is not blood? I know it is dark and it is hard to tell but it even smells like blood - that typical metallic smell."
Asad raised his palms to quiet rains and let it wash his hands. Air filled with metallic smell.
"Zoya, it is rust. I was holding metal bars of the windows on the other side. They must be rusty. I did not notice before. That's why the metallic smell. It's just rust. See, feel my hands. They are clean now."
She touched his palms and yes there was just coolness of water and warmth of his skin. She really was acting silly and letting her imagination get better of her. Had she really imagined or dreamed of Asad disappearing in darkness?
"Let's find a telephone."
She again hesitated once they were at the window. "I am with you. Get in." The statement rang a false note in both their ears. They looked at each other in barely there light. Her grip on his palm loosened and he did not resist it. She climbed in without looking back. His hands were on the window sill and he had a prickly feeling on his neck. He looked back as if to find something. The rain was steadily falling and mist had thinned. Zoya was standing near the window waiting for him. He shrugged the feeling and climbed in. The window shutter shut behind him. Both of them looked startled at it. Asad was first to recover and switched on flash light of his phone.
"I think my elbow touched it and it was shut." He even tried to open it. "It is monsoon so it jams easily. Don't worry. Let's see if there is a phone there." He tried to smile even though Zoya couldn't see him well. "Also, keep an eye for candles or lantern. We need to conserve battery of our phones." Zoya silently nodded as long shaft of flash light fell across the hall. They looked around. He talked because he could feel Zoya's fidgetiness. "This house is older that what I earlier thought. At least 50 years old. Look at the furniture. Even in dark you can make out it is of another time."
"Hmm..."
"What is this smell?" There was a sweet smell in the air. But one look at the furniture and it was clear that it was musty. Asad had also smelled it as soon as he was back in house and this time he remembered it from earlier too, but he decided to lie so that Zoya didn't get worried again.
"What smell, Zoya? It's just smell of the rain. It's fresh."
"No...okay." She didn't argue but kept close to him.
They didn't find a telephone but managed to find a lantern.
Before they settled on a diwan they were almost on the verge of argument of futility of coming to this house. Telephone, people, warmth - all that Zoya had said they would find here was missing. But, Zoya had promptly reminded of the lightning struck tree and wondered about status of their car. Yet they had controlled themselves. Zoya sat closer than she would have preferred because she still could not get scenes from earlier from her mind. And, he wanted to be closer because he was also unable to forget the fear in Zoya's eyes and how he had clung to her. Their minds and hearts constantly battled but in the end unknown fear was winning and keeping them close to each other.
"Try to sleep." His head was resting against the wall and his hands were folded. "We will have to wait till morning."
Zoya rested her head on cushion and closed her eyes. He kept a vigil but never cast a glance at her. Did he have it in him to leave her? But, how could he live with her? Would she want to live with him? He was lost in thoughts when he noticed a shadow blocking the door. Asad immediately leapt to his feet and remembered the gun shots that Zoya had talked about and wondered if he should have paid attention to her talk. He worriedly looked at her sleeping form. Was there someone else here? He again felt a prickly feeling in his spine.
"Who is it?" He raised the lantern and shocked to see Faisal standing at the door.
"What are you doing here?" He said with gritted teeth.
Faisal seemed to ignore him and called for Zoya. "Zoya, come on let's go."
Asad saw Zoya sit up immediately and walking towards Faisal without a glance at him.
"Zoya" remained unuttered in his mouth as he incredulously saw her walk away.
"Zoya, listen to me." He walked behind her but stopped at the door. Her hand was in Faisal's and they were walking towards road.
Salty tears streaked his face and stung where Zoya's slap had hurt. It was really happening. Zoya was leaving him.
"Zoya...," he shouted but his voice was feeble. Lion could not roar.
Zoya disappeared with Faisal and he stood at the doorstep paralyzed with shock.
When he came to his senses, he punched an angry fist on the door and the door shut close. He stood leaning against the closed door. His knuckles bled but rest of the body felt numb. Lantern dropped from his hand and rolled on the floor coming to rest against diwan and illuminated Zoya's sleeping form. His eyes were huge and his hand seek support of walls because his legs were not able to support him. What was he imagining? Was he imagining things? Was he imagining now or had he imagined before? He looked left and right in the darkness for an answer. The window they had jumped from was tightly shut and the one on opposite side - the one with rusty bars was letting in sweet smell. Was there a garden outside? He removed top button of his shirt because he felt suffocated. What kind of games his mind was playing? He slowly walked towards Zoya and picked up lantern lying on floor and raised it to take a good look at Zoya. She was sleeping. Her cheeks were tear-stained. Her face was itched with pain. Her white blouse had red marks. He touched her sleeve and felt the smoothness of silk and also its wetness. He raised his lantern again and looked around the long hall. He did not trust his own vision. How could he be sure that he was not seeing things? His finger accidentally touched glass of the lantern and cried out as the glass was very hot.
Zoya woke up startled. She saw Asad hovering over her looking like a mad man.
"What happened, Asad?"
He sat down next to her and held his head in hands.
"Asad, say something." She fearfully looked around.
"Zoya, let's get out of here."
Zoya nodded and immediately stood up. Asad was behind her with lantern in his hand. She did not say that she smelled gun powder in the air.
"Asad, the door is stuck. It is not opening." She was trying to open it.
"It's because of monsoon air. Here, hold this lantern and let me try." He tried several times but the door did not budge.
"Zoya, stand on one side."
He ran across the length of the room and knocked the door but it did not open.
"Asad, look outside the window."
Mist had reappeared and world outside was obscured by it.
"Asad, I don't like here." She was clutching his arm looking around herself.
If Asad hadn't been too frazzled, he would have given some caustic reply.
"Asad, the room is shrinking."
"What nonsense!"
"Asad, walls are closing on us." Zoya's nails dug in Asad's arms really drawing blood.
"Zoya, shut...," He turned around and saw what Zoya was telling. Walls were closing on them.
He frantically tried to open the door.
"Asad, we are going to die." Zoya hid her face in his arm. She could not look at the room. Asad bodily shielded her and closed his eyes as if preparing for whatever was to come. Measurements of time lost their meaning then. Asad and Zoya could not be sure how much time had passed, when they opened their eyes hearing laughter...clear...tinkling laughter. It was just outside the door. Asad and Zoya looked at each other with questions on their faces. Zoya turned towards the door and saw that the door stopper was still closed. In her hurry to get out, had she never opened it?
In one swift hand movement the door was thrust open as a frantic 'No...don't open' from Asad reverberated in air.
Next Rasa: Hasyam