Manan FF - Kaisi yeh Yaariyan season 3 - Chapter 123 & note - Page 25

She had never seen him this quiet. It was terrifying. The moment Ranbir had dropped them, Manik had walked straight into his room and stayed there, all curled up on the couch. It didn't go unnoticed, the disgust on his face when he saw his room, stripped bare of every single memory from his younger days. But he didn't create a scene, like his older self would have. Perhaps, he was too tired even to speak. Nandini's heart was crumbling. She had been strong for way too long but her strength was running thin now. She was exhausted, battered and bruised, if not more, then just as much as Manik. Not too long ago, she had met this blank Manik and little by little, she had turned him around. Overcoming her own accumulated anguish of three years, she had helped him script a new story for them. She had brought back his smile and his music and all of that had now gone down the drain.

She sat next to him, wrapping her arms around him and gently stroking his back. The worst kind of missing is to miss someone, when they are sitting right next to you. Even when Manik had forgotten everything and he had met her like a stranger, she had seen the glimpses of her old lover in him, but today, despite getting his old memories back, he was a like a living corpse. Cold and distant, he had put up a wall around himself. How would she break through it?

"Manik are you angry with me?" She spoke very softly. She needed him now, she desperately needed HER Manik to hold the ground for her. How, she had no clue. how can a man who has just been told that he had lived three whole years away from friends and love, without a single memory of it, just get up and pick up life from where he had left. But she also knew that if anyone in the world had the power to rise above his own sorrows, to shine for her, it was him.

"Won't you talk to me Manik?" she was choking.

He still didn't respond. He hadn't spoken a word since stepping in. He hadn't enquired about Nyonika, he hadn't asked about his friends, he hadn't even asked her, why she was still here post-midnight. He had shut everything and everyone out. He had slipped into a zone. It was understandable, and that made it all the more painful for her.

Nandini, feeling utterly helpless, did the only thing she could. Still sitting next to him she played this song. Music was the only thing that could reach where she couldn't. Music had always rescued him, from his darkness, his anger, his insecurities and his sorrows. Music had always been his saviour and she hoped it would save him one more time...penetrate those walls and strike at his heart...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G8j2gOk2sGM

Pal bhar thahar jaao

Dil ye sambhal jaaye

Kaise tumhe roka karun

Meri taraf aata har gham phisal jaaye

Aankhon mein tum ko bharun

Bin bole baatein tumse karun

'gar tum saath ho..

Agar tum saath ho

Behti rehti..

Nahar nadiya si teri duniya mein

Meri duniya hai teri chaahaton mein

Main dhal jaati hoon teri aadaton mein

'gar tum saath ho

Teri nazron mein hai tere sapne

Tere sapno mein hai naraazi

Mujhe lagta hai ke baatein dil ki

Hoti lafzon ki dhokebaazi

Tum saath ho ya na ho kya fark hai

Bedard thi zindagi bedard hai

Agar tum saath ho

Agar tum saath ho

Palkein jhapakte hi din ye nikal jaaye

Bethi bethi bhaagi phirun

Meri taraf aata har gham phisal jaaye

Aankhon mein tum ko bharun

Bin bole baatein tumse karun

'gar tum saath ho

Agar tum saath ho

She wanted to sing it herself, but she didn't have the strength today. Just listening to it, describing exactly what she was feeling at the moment, had been painful enough. She couldn't even sit through till the end. She got up and rushed to the washroom, unable to control her tears any more.

She was just splashing water on her face when she saw his reflection behind her.

****

He had been so lost in worrying about the missing pieces in his life that he hadn't noticed the smile missing from her face. When he looked at her reflection now, it sent shudders down his spine. Her cheeks had shrunk, there were dark circles around her eyes, her hair was unkempt, her shoulders drooping and there were tears in her eyes. The girl in the mirror wasn't the bright bubbly one he had always known. This was a sorry wilted version of his Nandini.

That song she had played had shaken him out of his self-imposed penance and what he saw in front of him now, stirred his conscience.

Who said love is easy? It is not, perhaps it's the most difficult thing to do. We all want life to unfold like a fairytale, in a perfect setting, with the perfect backdrop. But life is too real to be a fairytale, too twisted to be one smooth drive by the beach. Sometimes all you want to do is to shout, scream and bang stuff or may be curl up in a corner and just sulk. But when you love someone, you can't even do that.. No matter how pathetic you feel , you have to get up and do the walk because someone out there f**king needs you more than you need yourself. Love is hard and no one gets into it knowing that. People fall for it, because they think love is like an oasis in the desert and that's why, when they realize that it's a mirage, they drop out.

But then love was all he had in an otherwise messed up life. The only thing that had stood by him, transcending space and time, the only face he recognized with or without his memory, the only place he felt like home. And no matter how difficult it was for him to pick the pieces up and fix them together, he would do it because he could not let go of the only real thing in his life.

He walked towards her as she turned around to face him.

"I missed you Manik.." She started crying. He gently pulled her into a hug and placed a kiss on her forehead.

"I didn't miss you though...perks of having a memory loss...May be when it all comes back, I might miss you in retrospective, for the time I was away from you. I don't know how I survived through it. But I think I did good by not dragging you along. It would have been unfair on you."

She kept mum.

"See what I have done to you, have you seen yourself in the mirror? I am a monster na, Nandini?" He scanned her eyes for an answer. He knew she would lie, but her eyes, they could never lie.

"I am just tired Manik, tired of fighting for us. Its been one long battle.. I just..."

"You want to quit? U want to stop fighting for us?" He sighed. Where was this leading, he wondered.

"I said I am tired of fighting, not of 'US', tired of fighting alone, I need you, like we always were."

"But three years is a long time Nandini, a lot can happen in three years...new friendships, new relationships, new memories can replace the old ones. People move on na nandini."

She smiled, from her heart "Yes, a lot can happen in three years and a lot did happen, but these three years also taught me that few things are meant to be and they always will be that way. You could have drifted apart and made a new life in Denmark, I could have forgotten you and started again...but that's not how the universe had planned it. We bumped into each other again and of all the people in the world, you fell in love with me because it was just ur mind that had forgotten me, I was always there in your heart. We are two young to talk about eternal bonds, but we too have seen a lot of life Manik and if that couldn't tear us apart, nothing will."

They walked out of the washroom and climbed on the bed. Manik rested his head on her lap as they continued to talk.

"And what about you Manik? Do you still love me?"

"When did I ever stop? I am standing exactly where I was, people around me have moved on while I am stuck. It's so funny that I woke up in the hospital thinking that it was the night after we had... you know...jammed. I believed it for the whole 5 days and then suddenly this bomb drops on my head and screws up everything."

"You know whats funnier? That it was still in a way the day after jamming..well not jamming...say mock jamming...because we had..." She blushed, after so so long. Pity, she couldn't relish the memories they had made that night, not now, not three years ago.

"You mean..we had...why didn't you tell me earlier?" She felt an excitement in his voice, as if he was coming back to life.

"What do you mean why didn't I tell you earlier, how I could I tell you infront of Ranbir that you had kissed me twice and then we had almost jammed and that you had left marks all over me, here and here and here" She started pointing to her neck and her shoulders.

"Shit!! Yeh accident thore din baad nahi ho sakta tha... offo I missed out on so much.. Can I see the marks now?"

"They are to gone Manik, ek week ho gaya na..."

He was disappointed to hear that. It weren't just the marks that had disappeared. There was so much more, in fact just like these little things that Nandini had just mentioned, God knows how many such little treasures had slipped through his fingers and he wasn't even aware. He hoped he would remember them soon as the doctor had assured him. Agreed, not all memories would be pleasant, some would be depressing but the good ones would be worth tolerating the bad ones.

"So which Manik do you love more? The first one or the second one?"

"The third one here is my favourite." She knew what was troubling him. "And listen I am staying here till you get perfectly fine. Your mother doesn't come here any more and I have not told chacha chachi ki I am back to Mumbai. Is that ok with you?"

Manik sat up with a jerk and rolled his eyes at Nandini. "When did this miracle happen?"

"What?"

"When did you grow up? I mean look at you, you have started hiding things, taking your own decisions and without my even asking you, you have agreed to stay here? I should disappear after every three months and return to a bolder Nandini each time."

"Manik agar fir se jane ki baat bhi ki, I will kill you right here, right now. Fir jo hoga so dekha jayega."

"So finally...I can see my catty girl back. To wo main keh raha tha ki since you are staying here and you know we don't have anything major to do..." He was playing with her strands and inching closer to her face.

She blushed as always, as he leaned in to kiss her.

"Oh hold on ...before you knock me out of my senses, I have something to say"

"Shoot"

"I know its not going to be ok in one day, it will take time for things to settle down, for you to get used to all this, but just don't quit. Ok? Just don't give up on us..."

He pulled her in and that's how he sealed the deal, with a kiss.