Ishra SS-Aisi laage Lagan # 2 pt 16 on pg 129 on 6/9 - Page 29

I- I didn't get you .

R- how can you be so good ,don't you feel pain .

I- nah ,ab to takleef honi bhi band ho gayi hai .

Raman again hugged her tight and spoke " please don't act like goddess ,sometimes act like a human ,if you will do like that you will receive less pain ".

I( with straight face )- lekin dard to tab bhi hoga na .

R- why didn't you tell me once about this .

I- I don't wanted to ruin your plan .I thought if you will come to know about this ,you will cancel your plan ,then shagun will think that on hand I m sending you to her and on other hand I myself is ruining her plans to spend time with you .

R- ( scooping her face )- ishita you know you are too good and innocent for this world .you know what though I don't love you then also you will be my first priority ,I can never ever deny you for anything .

Ishita didn't like his talks ,she pushed him from herself and told " Raman I m good ,I m not weak ,I don't want your pity ."

R( pulling her more to him )- this is not pity damn it ,its your right ,you are my wife and you have all right on me .

Ishita was about to speak when somebody knocks the door ,ishita composed herself ,wiped her tears ,did her touchups and opened the door .She saw her cousins standing there ,one of them spoke pulling Ishita " akka its not done ,you forget us when you got jiju ."

I( smiled sarcastically)- nothing like that ,I was just coming ,he wanted to freshen up ,so I was giving his cloths .

C- oh ,now you're done na ,now let's go.

ishita looked at him and went ,raman ruffled his hairs in frustration and spoke to himself " matarani please help me ,ishita thinks that I m doing it because of pity but you know na its not pity ,I genuinely want her to be happy ."

He was sitting in the couch dejectedly when Mrs iyer entered the room ,she walked to him and spoke " how are you raman ,aane mein koi problem to nahi hui ".

R- nahi amma ,thankyou somuch for picking my call .

Flashback .

In morning Raman was trying to call ishita but she was not picking his call ,but he was getting restless without talking to her ,without knowing her whereabouts .He then thought to call Mr iyer . Thinking so he dialled Mr iyers number but amma picked the call ,Raman talked to her and asked about ishita .

R- amma ,where are you people and where is ishita ,she is not picking my calls .

A- kanna she is busy with her cousins ,moreover here is so hustle bustle that ring of phone can't be listened .

R- how is ishita .

A- she is good ,but why didn't you came along with us .

Raman thought for a while andvtgen spoke " actually amma I was having some very important meetings ,but now I have done with it ,if you will send me the address I will be there till the time of marriage ."

flashback ends .

Amma send address to Raman , he adjusted everything accordingly and came here .Actually toshiji's words had affected him more ,after listenibgto her words ,he just wanted to see and observe ishitas condition,though he was acting selfishly then also he has a good heart inside him which never want to hurt anybody and this was ishita ,whom he wanted to help but instead of helping her ,making her happy he has messed him and her life totally .

Amma talked to him for sometimes ,then she went inviting him for the marriage downstairs .Raman came down after much time as he was so restless ,he didn't want to talk to anyone but Ishita as she was angry with him ,today she actually has shown her anger to him ,which was the original reaction she was suppose to show to him but till now she was acting normal .But his sudden arrival brought ishitas original emotions out that she is angry on him and she is actually very much broken though she is trying to be strong.

He came down and went to Mr iyer ,they along with all the man sat at one side while ishita was nowhere to be seen ,his eyes where searching for her ,soon he saw her coming along with the bride ,she was wearing a mehoroon kanjiwaram with green and golden border ,her hairs were nearly braided decorated with flower strings ,she was wearing matching jewelleries with her diamond mangalsutra.For the very first time ramanwas looking her thoroughly and he came to know that she is very beautiful ,at this time she was looking more beautiful than the bride ,she has applied makeup ,kohl ,liner everything but the spark of her eyes which was missing was clearly visible ,Raman heart sank looking to ishitas condition ,he cursed himself for being the reason of her pain . He decided to fill all the void of her life .

The marriage ritual started ,Panditji was chanting mantras and bridegroom were following him ,soon he instructed them to got up for pheres . They got up and started taking pheres and panditji was speaking all the vows in their language when somebody stops him and spoke " Panditji many of us are non tamilian so it will be better that you explain all the vows in hindi or English so that we can all reminish them again and can fulfil them .All agreed listening to him and Panditji started telling all the sacred vows in Hindi ,all were listening keenly and raman was also one of them .Listening to them Raman thought that what he had promised and what he is doing ,he decided that now he will not listen to ishita .He searched her but she was nowhere ,he went to search her ,he looked everywhere for her at last he found her in their room . she was crying crushing herself in floor on the other side of bed so that noone can see her ,Raman slowly bolted the door and went to her .

Ishita was crying bitterly ,then she wiped her tears and spoke to herself

" chup ishu why are you crying ,you should not cry ,you yourself is sending him away from you .I m trying not to be affected by his saperation but everything is making me sad ,everything like this happened in my marriage also but the difference will be that she is happy and I m not . I should be happy for raman that he is getting his love but I m not happy ,I m sad, mujhe bura lag raha hai ,I m so bad that's why everything bad is happening with me ."

Raman couldn't stop his tears and tgey also started flowing ,he sat beside her pulled her to him ,sat her in his lap and hugged her tight ,she tried to free herself but his hold was too tight for her ,after a while she also stop struggling and anticipated the hug .When he noticed that her hicupps were lessen he tored her from him and spoke wiping her tear " no Ishita you are not bad ,but I m bad ,you are going through this pain because of me .but now I have decided and you have to follow it ,we are not getting divorced ,we will live together whole life ."

I- but how can we ,I mean you don't love me .

R- kyun duniya mein har koi pyaar kar ke hi shaadi karta hai kya ,ya jinki arrange marriage hoti hai wo khus nahi rahtein .

I- but raman ...

R- chup ekdum chup ,I had listened to you more than required ,you told me that if we will be together three life's will be spoiled but I can see that after we part then also we are suffering ,at least we will be happy if we will be together.

I- and shagun .

R- I will talk to her .Ishita try to understand,if I will leave you and marry shagun then also noone will be happy ,you are already killing yourself ,looking to your condition I will not be able to live peacefully ,and if I will not contented then how can I keep shagun happy .

I- Raman you are telling that you are not pitying me then telling that you want to be with me because you can't see me like this.

R- ishita if being sad looking to your condition is called pity then I m pitying you ,if I m feeling jealous looking you with someone is called pity then I m pitying you ,if it hurts that you went somewhere without telling me called pity then I m pitying you ,if hallucinating you everywhere is called pity then I m pitying you and coming behind you leaving everything is called pity then I m pitying you .whatever you want to think you are free to think ,what you want to understand you understand but we are not divorcing each other got that .

(PS - this is not original confession ,its only patch up .Hope I justified ramans character ).

Ishita didn't spoke anything ,but looked at him deeply and was trying to believe that what she is listening is actually true .

That's all for now .Hope you like this .Enjoy reading and do comment .