Presentation Does Matter.. No Matter What The Reality Is
Women chatting in office..
Woman 1:" I had a fine evening, how was yours.. ??
Woman 2:" It was a disaster.. My husband came home, ate his dinner in 3 minutes and fell a sleep.. How was yours.. ??
Woman 1:" Oh it was amazing! My husband came home and took me out for a romantic dinner.. After dinner we walked for an hour.. When we came home he lit the candles around the house..It was like a fairy tale!
At the same time, their husbands are talking at work..
Husband 1:" How was your evening.. ??
Husband 2:" Great.. I came home, dinner was on the table, I ate and fell asleep. What about you ??
Husband 1:" It was horrible. I came home, there's no dinner, they cut the electricity because I forgot to pay the bill; so I took her out for dinner which was so expensive that i didn't had money left for a cab.
We walked home which took an hour and when we got home i remembered there was no electricity so I had to light candles all over the house!!
Moral:" Presentation does matter.. No matter what the reality is..!!"
Kisses as monthly pay
A Husband working in some other city wrote to his wife in his home town.
Dear Darling,
I can't send you my salary this month because the global market crisis has affected my Company's performance, so I am sending 100 kisses.
You are my sweetheart, please understand and adjust with this situation.
Your loving husband,
His wife replied
Hey hubby
Thanks for the 100 kisses.
Below is the list of expenses I paid with the Kisses
1. The Milk man agreed on 2 kisses for one month's milk.
2. The electricity man, agreed not to disconnect only after 7 kisses.
3. Your landlord comes every day to take 2 or 3 kisses instead of the monthly rent.
4. Supermarket owner did not accept kisses only,so I gave him other items, I hope you understand.
5. Miscellaneous expenses 40 kisses.
Please don't worry about me, I still have a balance of 35 kisses and
I hope I can survive the month using this balance.
Shall I plan the same for the next month?
Your Sweet Heart
Funny Interview
Interviewer: There are 500 bricks on a plane. You drop one outside. How many are left?
Applicant: That's easy, 499
Interviewer: What are the three steps to put an elephant into a fridge?
Applicant: Open the fridge. Put the elephant in. Close the fridge.
Interviewer: What are the four steps to put a deer into the fridge?
Applicant: Open the fridge. Take the elephant out. Put the deer in. Close the fridge.
Interviewer: It's lion's birthday, all the animals are there except one, why?
Applicant: Because the deer is in the fridge.
Interviewer: How does an old woman cross a swamp filled with crocodiles?
Applicant: She just crosses it because the crocodiles are at the lion's birthday.
Interviewer: Last question.
In the end the old lady still died, Why?
Applicant: Err...I guess she drowned?
Interviewer: No! She was hit by the brick. You may leave now.
(Credit - Tales of Panchatantra )
The Crafty Crane and the Craftier Crab
A heron lived near a big lake, which was full of fishes and other water creatures.
The heron had grown so old, that he could not catch fishes from the lake anymore.
He became lean and weak with every passing day due to lack of food. Unable to bear the hunger anymore, he hit upon a plan.
As planned, he sat at the edge of the lake for everybody to see, and began crying.
On seeing this, a crab took pity on him and went near, "Uncle, What is the matter? Why are you crying instead to catching fishes?"
Continuing to pretend, the heron replied, "My child, I would not touch any fish anymore. I have decided to renounce all worldly matters, and vowed to undertake a fast unto death".
The crab asked, "If you have indeed renounced worldly matters, why is it that you cry?"
The heron explained, "My child, I have been in this lake from my birth. I have grown here. And it now that I have grown so old that I hear that this lake will dry up as there will be no rains for the next twelve years".
The crab was surprised to hear this, "Uncle, please tell me if it is true. Please tell me where you have heard such thing."
The heron replied, "I have heard the news from a wise astrologer that there will be no rains for the next twelve years. You see, there is already not much water in the lake. And very soon, due to lack of rains, the lake will dry up completely very soon."
The crab was taken aback by the news of what is to befall on them, and went to tell this to the other water creatures. On hearing this piece of news, everybody started to panic.
They believed the heron, as he was not trying to catch any fish at all. So, they met the heron to seek advice, "Please guide us to save us from this disaster"
The heron said, "There is indeed a lake not far from here. It is full of water, and beautifully covered with lotus flowers. There is so much water in the lake, that it would not dry even if it did not rain for twenty four years. I can take you there, if you can ride on my back."
He had already gained their confidence. So, they gathered around him and requested to carry them one at a time to the other lake and save them.
The wicked heron had succeeded in his plan. Every day, he would carry on of them on his back pretending to take them to the other lake.
After flying a little away from the lake, he would smash them against a rock and eat them up. He would then return after some time to the lake and relate false messages how they are happy in the other lake.
This happened for many days, when the crab said to the heron, "Uncle, you take others to the lake but it is me who is your first friend. Please take me to the other lake to save my life."
The heron was happy to hear this. He thought to himself, "Having a fish everyday has become monotonous. It is good that I will get to eat a crab today, for a change."
Having thus decided, the heron started carrying the crab to the same rock. The crab looked down from above and saw the heap of bones and skeletons. At once, the crab understood what the heron was up to.
He remained calm, and said to the heron, "Uncle, the lake seems far and I am quite heavy. You must be getting tired, let us stop for some rest".
The heron was confident that there was no way the crab can escape from him in the sky. The heron replied, "There is no lake for real. This trip is for my own meal. As I do every day, I will smash you against a rock and make a meal out of you."
When the heron confessed the truth, the crab got hold of the heron's neck with its strong claws, and strangled him to death.
The crab laughed at himself that he had saved himself and the other water creatures from the trick played by the heron. He dragged the heron back to the lake.
The other water creatures in the lake were surprised to see him back. They became curious, and asked all sort of questions.
The crab laughed and replied, "We were being made fools! The heron was an imposter and what he told about the lake drying up was all false. He was taking one of us every day for his meal in a rock not far from here."
He proudly said, "I understood what he was up to, and have killed the trickster. There is no need to worry, for we are safe in this lake. It is not going to dry up at all."
The wise indeed say:
When things go wrong, use your wit to overcome the situation.
(KUCH DHAMAKE AISE BHI) 😆
GAME PLANNER : NIKKU JI 😆
BASIC RULES OF THE GAME:
Members who appeared first on the page no 10 , 20,... up to 140 in CC 90, will be given a funny task 😆 This is a surprise game and Game Planner did not want to reveal the secret tasks or game idea in previous CC , as we have seen in past that some members avoid coming first when we plan for this type of game . 😈😆 Members who are given particular tasks need to complete all of them and then PM me (Sampriti ) the page nos so that I can add them on the first page of Next CC .
Page : 10SAMPRITI :
Task : Collect 3 funny scenes from ssk n post it here.(just written part n no videos)
Page : 20SAMPRITI :
Task : Collect 3 funny scenes from sns n post it here
Page : 30RAY :
Task : Sab ko pakad pakad ke batao ki "AP chocolates se zyada cute hai"
Page: 40
ASMU :
Task : Dedicate a song to DP Page: 50
MANISHA :
Task : Write this after ur every comment "Suhagraat nahi manani chahiye"
Page: 60
ASMU :
Task : Dedicate a song to RP
Page: 70
HASI :
Task : Write a funny pulav on Shravan's parents
Page: 80
NIKKK :
Task : Act like NK of ipkknd in the entire cc
Page: 90
SAMPRITI :
Task : Say this to Kamala everytime she posts something in cc
"hum dudh wale hai toh kya hua dilwale tere tere tere chahne wale hai"
Page: 100KAMALA :
Task : Tell 5 things u learned from Swaragini.
Page: 110
ASMU : BUT TASK IS GIVEN TO SHONAWHO APPEARED ON THE SAME PAGE AS ASMU APPEARED FIRST TWO TIMES ALREADY AND RAY WHO IS SECOND IN THIS CASE , ALSO APPEARED TWO TIMES ALREADY , MORE THAN TWO TASKS WON'T BE GIVEN TO ANY MEMBER
Task : Write 5 pachka jokes on 5 different hindi shows
Page: 120
RAY :
Task : Name 50 types of dudh (example chocolate milk )
Page: 130
KAMALA
Task : Akshara n Gopi ke khubsurti ka raaz batao
Page: 140
KAMALA : BUT TASK IS GIVEN TO NIKKK WHO APPEARED ON THE SAME PAGE AS KAMALA APPEARED FIRST TWO TIMES ALREADY , MORE THAN TWO TASKS WON'T BE GIVEN TO ANY MEMBER Task : Caption DP's 5 pics
Edited by Sampriti. - 9 years ago
Cricket
Pati Patni Aur Panga
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