Son - Daughter

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shruti.

@shruti2007

Dazzler

Posted: 9 years ago

#11

Loved ur post dear 👍🏼 really.
U wrote each and everything which i was regarding ishwari. Bt i don't hv such writing skills as urs so didn't make any post.
Daughter's sacrifice is always taken as granted in dis society.thy don't value it. Neha is realistic character. I love her character.

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Shaun

@Jade0001

Inactive

+ 2

Posted: 9 years ago

#12

Fantastic Post

Dev I think lost his faith in God when his mother had told him he has to fight against the world and yes the reason is because he had no father , Ishwari had put the world responsibilities on her young son .

Sonakshi actually I liked how she made Dev understand to sit in on the puja for his mother's happiness for her healing .

You right that Dev has no ego and that is always the biggest problem men has is having this male ego but with Dev there is none yes he disagrees with Sona at times but the maturity of their relationship allows him to have a difference in opinion and that's what I love about them they perfect together but not perfect humans and they portray this so real .

Ishwari - Neha that is actually very disappointing that Ishwari has never acknowledged Neha's efforts

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bookworm123

@bookworm123

Navigator

Posted: 9 years ago

#13

Thanks for sharing your thoughts and improving my mood or rather feelings about the show. :)

The episode in itself had the "therav" that some of the recent episodes, especially the one before and the 100th episode lacked. They tried to do justice to the serious issue of faith. They also thankfully did not show Sona pushing him too much. The key point of her argument was not about his belief in itself but about respecting his mom's belief. Not a new argument or one he had not heard before but just maybe not in this particular way. Plus there is something called right time so the same arguments are more effective at the right time..

Some people felt bad about his tone when he said " you do not understand". That did not bother me much because I thought it was about time they conversed normally and it is ok to snap. I would like her to also revert to her normal spirited mode of conversation and abandon this saccharine avatar she has donned in the last 2 weeks..

Thank you for calling attention to the "male focused" depiction of rituals yesterday. I am not an expert but I think it is possible for a women to do the satyanarayana pooja. My aunt who is a widow did it with her daughter (she is single) earlier this year. It looked odd in the show because the pooja track was introduced to focus on Dev/Sona/Ish. That is what happens when characters other than the lead characters are going through major milestones but because they are not the leads, the focus is taken away from them. Like Dev/Sona reciting their own vows during Neha's shadi.

The reason the episode did not have the impact it would have otherwise had (for me) is that it seemed like one more instance of Sona doing something for the Dixits/healing Dev. Since the start of Neha's shadi track it has been one episode after another of Dev consulting her for lehenga/dupatta/factory/flat etc. The way Sona was involved by Dev in the lehenga issue struck the right note - she had to be coaxed to be involved in his family matter and initially expressed a dignified reluctance. I do not care much about what she told Neha (that is pointless for me) but her involvement was portrayed in a dignified manner.

Prior to this too, I agree that she was his confidante (before epi 76) but it was done naturally. They were two people who happened to discuss their views on love, he knew that she was looking for the love of her life and she was his sounding board. If you notice, she rarely told him what to do, she just listened to him...

This has happened because they seem to be in a haste to focus on Ish having an issue with Sona influencing Dev to exclusion of everything else. They want to drive towards their main story line hence they are focusing on Ish only noticing her influencing him, not how happy he is or other aspects of being in a relationship.

In doing so they have messed with the beautiful balance the show managed till date. They had a beautiful balance going with a mutual interest in each other's lives. interests, views, worlds, families etc. Suddenly they have moved to a heavy handed approach of Sona behaving like Mrs.Dixit (I will call her ma), serving as full time therapist for Dev Dixit, 0 interest in her/her needs etc. Such a role reversal, not Dev's fault..but the CV'. Simultaneously Dev stressing on ma/ma is imp/ma comes first (mayeb because they want to pave the way for a decision triggered by ma's issues) and Sona oblivious to it all and imagining herself as Mrs. Dixit.

Edited by bookworm123 - 9 years ago

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gemini54

@gemini54

Voyager

Posted: 9 years ago

#14

This is such an insightful discussion. This forum has beautiful writers who put forth their opinions/analyses in such a positive manner that it promotes healthy discussion. I am glad i am part of this forum

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ARCH21

@ARCH21

Navigator

Posted: 9 years ago

#15

Originally posted by: LiveLife321
Wonderful post and very well said 👏 Let me share my 2 cents about Eshwari's character which i have mentioned in some other post some time back.
Eshwari is such a flawed character from inside but it looks so perfect from outside. I respect Eshwari for the struggles she went through in her life but i respect dev & neha more for the sacrifices they did while supporting their mother in this struggle. Here 2 kids lost their childhood. Did Eshwari ever understand what these 2 kids went through all this while? My heart goes out for Neha when she says "I never had a doll in my childhood. All i have is my 2 younger sisters and they are my world". Till today she was craving for her identity, importance & acknowledgement of her contribution in this journey & this is what she got from Ranveer now & that's what made her happy now.
I always saw a proud mother in Eshwari whenever someone praises her about dev. But i only saw a dutiful son/brother in dev whenever someone praises his devotion for his mother & family. He was never proud of his contributions towards his family, he always felt as his duty. My heart went out for dev when he said "My family went through a lot and i don't want to trouble them by sharing my struggles" to Sona in that sleeping pills discussion. I really want to give a tight hug to dev. This guy is holding the entire burden on his shoulders without even saying uff for once. Did Eshwari ever understand her son till now? She doesn't even know that her son was using sleeping pills.
When Eshwari says "Ur happiness means a lot to me" to dev, she actually needs to understand that she can't be the part/reason of her son's happiness always. Life is a continuous learning process. Till now we saw how dev started learning and accepting changes in his life. I think now its Eshwari's turn to learn.
I am eagerly looking forward for the actual story to get unfold. For dev, his mother is his GOD. How confidently he says to his mother "what i need in life when u r with me in my every decision". With this track, i hope now he gets to see her human side.
Coming to Puja, I really got surprised by seeing the way they performed Satyanarayana swami pooja. Our side this pooja is must on every important occasion in life like marriage, house warming etc. and only couples sit in this pooja. When Eshwari said she wants to arrange this pooja for Neha & Ranveer even i thought this newly married couple are going to sit in this pooja. Its strange.

So beautiful and this again highlights how lucky Ishwari is. In life if we look around and count our blessings, everything will be so lovely.

The mother did everything she could to bring up 4 kids without any support system and no great education to lean on either. Where they have reached is a great team effort definitely and no one can/should take independent credit.

The kids place all credit at their mother's feet - of all good... and the Daughter only craves to be acknowledged. She has no ill feeling towards her mother but for once would like to be acknowledged for the role she played in this now-flourishing family.

Neha carries no illusions.

Dev's illusions are soon to be shattered.

Ishwari now has a bit of growing up to do...

Life is just about to turn very real but no one really is a villain. They are all human.

@Bold: Insightful dialogues...

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LiveLife321

@LiveLife321

Voyager

Posted: 9 years ago

#16

Originally posted by: ARCH21

So beautiful and this again highlights how lucky Ishwari is. In life if we look around and count our blessings, everything will be so lovely.

The mother did everything she could to bring up 4 kids without any support system and no great education to lean on either. Where they have reached is a great team effort definitely and no one can/should take independent credit.
The kids place all credit at their mother's feet - of all good... and the Daughter only craves to be acknowledged. She has no ill feeling towards her mother but for once would like to be acknowledged for the role she played in this now-flourishing family.

Neha carries no illusions.
Dev's illusions are soon to be shattered.
Ishwari now has a bit of growing up to do...

Life is just about to turn very real but no one really is a villain. They are all human.

@Bold: Insightful dialogues...

Mother - Please tell me more about this. What kind of a mother is she? How on earth a mother becomes this much selfish? In which way we have to understand her love/obsession for her son?

Being a mother also I am not able to connect with her & not able to understand her pov. I believe as a parent its our minimum responsibility to fulfill our kid basic needs along with their emotional needs. Taking care of our kids is not any kind of investment where we think we can sit & enjoy our returns later.

Writers can show me infinite number of flashbacks of Eshwari's struggles still i would say i can understand her struggles in this journey but I am unable to sympathize with her as a mother. You show me at least one single instance where she is worried about Dev's future or concerned about his happiness(ONLY HIS) or a simple talk about what he want in his life or what he needs for himself.

Edited by LiveLife321 - 9 years ago

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ARCH21

@ARCH21

Navigator

Posted: 9 years ago

#17

Originally posted by: LiveLife321

Mother - Please tell me more about this. What kind of a mother is she? How on earth a mother becomes this much selfish? In which way we have to understand her love/obsession for her son?
Being a mother also I am not able to connect with her & not able to understand her pov. I believe as a parent its our minimum responsibility to fulfill our kid basic needs along with their emotional needs. Taking care of our kids is not any kind of investment where we think we can sit & enjoy our returns later.
Writers can show me infinite number of flashbacks of Eshwari's struggles still i would say i can understand her struggles in this journey but I am unable to sympathize with her as a mother. You show me at least one single instance where she is worried about Dev's future or concerned about his happiness(ONLY HIS) or a simple talk about what he want in his life or what he needs for himself.

I am no Mother and was completely left confused with Ishwari's massive discomfort with any 'girl' in Dev's life. Shown repeatedly when everytime someone would bring up the topic and she would say, 'he is still young'. Natasha came with a business deal attached to her which would mean business growth so Ishwari was readying herself to swallow the bitter pill.

There are but a few instances:

- During Neha's wedding when she feels Dev forgot her medicine but he brings them at night, as usual. She feels remorse and her thoughts are, 'Please forgive me. Duniya mein yahee dekha hai ki beta ma ko ek pal mein bhool jata hai'.

- During the whole Natasha proposal sequence, Ishwari keeps praying to God that she wants to be happy in her Son's happiness. Kept asking God why she is feeling the way she is feeling and pointedly didn't try to influence Dev's decision. This was his life and should be his decision.

But when it came to things like - Dev's room dcor will change as his wife will influence.

and Nikki's comment that Dev's wife will do all his things from now on...left Ishwari disturbed.

I just read this as ...this is an extremely insecure woman fearful of being abandoned in life again (after her husband left her. He died but she was left to deal with a mountain of life)...she is fearful of reaching that same stage.

Yes, Dev is her big investment (sadly). Her one point focus in life was to make him capable of providing for the family. She did it at the cost of hurting her daughter(s). He is her lifeline. Now she is looking at him as the Man of the house!!!!!!

and her fear is...'what if'...what if he finds someone else he loves and leaves her. What if he doesn't need her anymore. What if he loves someone else and dcides not to provide for her and the daughters...(Ishwari is not today's woman who thinks that girls can take care of themselves. She is of a conservative mindset.)...

I think Ishwari is wayyy too scared of going back to the life where she came from than Neha was shown to be. This show is about Ishwari finally realizing how wrong she & her feelings are...

@Bold: I have seen mothers/parents, not just in India, who feel that they have brought up their sons with so much 'effort' and now its the Son's duty to take full care of them. They feel a sense of entitlement. While they welcome DIL's as marriage is a part of society but do not want to welcome the changes this brings.

Also this seems to be for their Sons and not daughters because Daughters are 'Parayi'... This is something I never can/could or will understand about our society but cannot ignore.

All I can say is this sad fact and unwelcome scenario is inrritatingly in every saas bahu show on TV and there is no way I would spend 1 sec of my time on those. The fact that we all are reacting to Ishwari is probably because somewhere the same scenario just seems so wrong in the case of this show and we all genuinely want Ishwari to see the light of day!...

Although if this turns into a typical saas-bahu show with the Man at the center of 2 women's tug-of-war; I will be done with it but I am still hoping that's not the direction they take.

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