FF: Love, Cherish me ~~ Epilogue ~~ - Page 44

A Forever kind of love

Pandey Nivas...

later that night...

It was about half past twelve when Raghu finally brought a drunk Bihaan back to Pandey Nivas. Thapki was waiting for them at the front door as discussed. Raghu had already contacted her before bringing Bihaan home.

"Raghu badmaaash! Where have you brought me? Bihaan bellowed leaning heavily on Raghu, "I told you I don't wanna go home...I don't have any home...take me back!"

"Sorry Bhabi, I don't know what got into Bihaan bhai today, he never usually drinks so much" Raghu said apologetically to Thapki.

Thapki nodded understandingly, and moved forward to take Bihaan from him. But before she could touch Bihaan, he lurched back, making both Raghu and him lose balance and almost fall down. Raghu somehow regained his balance and tried to hold a swaying Bihaan.

"NOOO. I don't wanna go...Raghu, you rascal, you tricked me you said we are going to get more daru... come heeereee...I will break your nose.." Bihaan slurred and tried to punch him. Raghu didn't even have to duck, Bihaan's aim was way off and he lost balance at his own movement and fell to the ground before Raghu could catch him this time.

Thapki ran to Bihaan who fell sprawling into the ground and was fumbling to sit up. Thapki tried to hold his shoulder but Bihaan shook her off.

"Raghu Bhaiya, t-thank you for b-bringing him home, I will take it from h-here."

"Raghu ka bachchaaa...idhaar aaa...mar dalunga main tujhe" Bihaan roared.

"No, problem bhabi, let me at least help you take him to the room." Raghu was super embarrassed at Bihaan's behaviour.

"No, it is okay I will t-take it from here, don't w-worry"

Raghu turned to leave reluctantly. If Bhabi didn't want help what could he do?

"Nooo, don't leave me Raghu, goood Raghu, lovely Raghu, I won't hit you promise...take me with you...don't leave me here...don't leave me with... her" Bihaan cried and tried to crawl towards Raghu.

Raghu looked back at Bihaan guiltily but he didn't stop and left.

"Don't gooo..." Bihaan slurred looking dejected still lying on the floor.

"Stop it B-Bihaan, come on l-lean on me. Be a good boy" Thapki urged.

Bihaan leaned on Thapki as ordered. Thapki pulled him up and started to walk inside the house. Bihaan didn't make a noise, he went along with Thapki leaning heavily on her like a good boy as ordered.

Thapki had to stop twice to rest before she could finally drag Bihaan to his room and by then she was out of breath and panting heavily. She dropped Bihaan to the bed where he fell with a thud in an awkward position and kept lying like that. After Thapki found her breath she went to check whether Bihaan had fallen asleep, he hadn't uttered a word till Raghu left and even before that he hadn't talk to her.

No, Bihaan's eyes were open and he was looking at the bed quilt so that means he was awake. Thapki sat and again dragged him up to make him lie properly on the pillow. This time Bihaan kept looking at the roof. Thapki gently brushed back his untidy mop of hair which were lying haphazardly on his bandaged forehead with her fingers. "Is this what you were up to s-since you left the hospital? You have soiled your b-bandage." Thapki said gently.

Bihaan had left the hospital soon after the doctor came and diagnosed Vasu after she gained her senses. As suspected Vasu had indeed lost a chunk of her memory and doctor said it might be the damage caused by her Hemorrhagic stroke, a defence mechanism by her brain, trying to block out the unfavourable incidents she did not want to remember. It wasbetter not to make her remember anything which may push her to have a second stroke.

Bihaan kept lying like a corpse looking at the roof as if he didn't hear anything. Thapki moved down the bed to remove his boots from his feet. She took his feet on her lap and started to unlace the shoelaces.

"You had me w-worried Bihaan, when will you stop being so t-troublesome. Doctor said we can bring Ma h-home within 2-3 days if she keeps on im-improving. She was a-asking for you after you left. Why did you l-leave like that all of a s-sudden?" Thapki removed one boot and moved to the other.

No response.

"I need to change your b-bandages so don't fall asleep on me. You s-smell terrible, how much did you d-drink for god's sake?? I should have b-beaten you if you were not already in such a p-pathetic condition. What would have happened if Dadima or Bauji saw you in this c-condition?"

Thapki kept on chattering like nothing was wrong and finally finished getting the other boot off. She couldn't stop a tear run down her cheek though. But she couldn't let Bihaan see her sad and crying because she had to be strong for him. She brushed it off quickly.

Bihaan remained quiet still looking up. Thapki slid up again to sit beside Bihaan and gently wiped off a tear which slipped from corner of his eye and was rolling down to his ear in his reclining position.

"Will you not l-look at me at all?"

No answer.

"Don't you have anything t-to say to me? You forgot to tell me you love me t-today. If this continues like this, you will soon f-forget me all together"

Another tear slipped off his eye.

"Bihaan, talk to me b-baby." Thapki again wiped his tear gently.

A strangled sob came out of Bihaan at last and he rolled sideways away from Thapki, "Don't Thapki, please don't...don't be gentle with me...just go away from here"

"But I w-want to be here...with you..."

"Thapki please hate me, curse me but don't talk to me like that. I don't deserve it"

"Why would I h-hate you? I love you silly, I will always love y-you" Thapki said with an indulgent smile.

"No you should hate me, and I know you hate me already"

Thapki began to grab his shoulder and turn him so that he could face her.

"Look at m-me Bihaan, look at me and see for y-yourself whether I hate you or n-not"

"No, I can't bear to see hatred in your eyes for me and you must hate me...YOU MUST...I deserve your hate...I am your culprit." Bihaan was sobbing earnestly now his whole body curled into a ball as if in pain.

Thapki cradled his face on both her hands, "Look at me b-baby please" She wiped his tears with her thumbs.

Bihaan kept looking down and shook his head, "Don't you get it Thapki??I am breaking each and every promise I ever made to you because I am going to divorce you...I vowed I will never let anything happen to our love but I am breaking every vow I ever took because I am going to divorce you as soon I get the papers ready" Bihaan finally looked at her, tears running down his eyes. She could see the anguish, desolation and self-disgust burning in those beautiful sad eyes of his, in his innermost soul.

"I know" Thapki said gently, silent tears were running down her cheeks as well.

Bihaan completely crumbled at those two words and hugged her with all his strength... crushing her. "Thapki I love you so much, please don't hate me, I will die if you do."

"Don't say such t-things, I can never hate you... a piece of paper d-doesn't change how we f-feel about each other a bit. I will love you f-forever. Our love is forever."

They both cried into each other's arms, they cried for all the broken promises, cried for their love which was not meant to be, cried at the cruel twist of their destiny. They cried til they become tired and had no more tears left to lose.

After a while, Bihaan who was now lying beside Thapki his head buried into her bosom , his hands wrapped around her waist tightly said in a small voice, "I don't want you to love me forever Thapki, I want you to be happy and go on with your life, love your...love your husband" Bihaan finished with difficulty.

"I already love my h-husband" Thapki was gently running her fingers through his hair. She had to be careful about the bumps in his head hidden inside his thick locks of hair. She was half lying-half sitting plopped against the pillows and her husband wrapped around her like a vine.

"Not me, I want you to love D-Dhruv and be happy with him " Bihaan said into her chest wrapping his hands around her harder.

"Achcha? and how do you t-think you will achieve what you w-want?"

"I will not come in front of you and eventually you will forget me with time. I want you to be happy. "

Thapki didn't say anything to that. She didn't know what Matarani had written in her destiny but one thing she was sure that she would never ever marry again. Bihaan was her husband and would remain her husband until the day she dies. A piece of paper doesn't change anything for her.

"Thapki, why are you not angry with me? Why are you not cursing me?" Bihaan asked tiredly after a while.

"Because you are h-helpless, Bihaan. Because your h-hands are tied and you d-don't have any options. I know you love me. But you also love your M-Ma and it is not a c-crime. Yes I want us to be t-together but not in expense of a l-life. If us not being together can s-save a life then so be it. We can never be h-happy if we chose to be s-selfish"

Thapki and Bihaan fell asleep eventually like that, wrapped tightly into each other... Who knew what Matarani had in store for these unfortunate lovers.

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Days seem to pass in a rush after that night. As promised, Bihaan tried not to come in front of Thapki anymore. In fact , he kind of distanced himself from all the family members. He visited Ma each day in the hospital and left before he could meet any family member. He started to live with Raghu in one of the recently vacated house. In day four, Ma came back home. Within one week, Bihaan got the correct divorce papers ready from the lawyers and signed them and send them to Thapki. She signed them as well.

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Chapter-19 Darkness