Part 5
He just sat there, staring at the wall. She left him? Just like that? She said he is being impossible...was he? Like hell he is! His insides burning with rage, he caught the bedsheet and threw it away. Can't she see how much he depends on her? Can't she see he can't live without her? Can't she see how much she means to him? No she doesn't! How can she leave him if she knew all that? All he asked was to get rid of the ...the...the..
"Dammit!!" He roared. No! He can't live with this fear. He can't lose her! She has to listen to him. And listen she will!
Picking his car keys, he raced outside.
"Arnav! Arnav !"
He heard his name being called, but the rage which consumed him didn't allowed him to act upon it. He just strode forward, towards her room.
"Arnav!" This time he felt a firm grip on his arm, and he stopped.
"Buaji?"
"What is the matter with you, Arnav?" She asked. She had heard a crying and sobbing Khushi's side of the story, and now she wants to hear what her son-in-law has to say. "We need to talk" she said to him.
"I want to talk to Khushi" he said firmly.
"No! You are not upsetting her more. We need to talk first" she replied in an equally firm tone.
He faced her and folded his hand on his chest. " Talk then"
"Did you really asked Khushi to abort her child?"
"Yes, I did."
Her wide eyes stared at him. " What?! How can you even suggest something like that.. Arnav are you even listening to yourself? Do you realize what you are asking? You are asking her to kill your child.. How can you even think that" Her accusing glare fixed at him. And for a nano second she saw some emotion flutter in his eyes, and just like that, it vanished, leaving it cold again.
"I can, and I will!" He answered. He just need Khushi, Khushi and Khushi! And anyone who threatens that, needs to go away. If others can't understand his need, then he is really not interested in explaining to them.
"I know you love, Khushi .. " Buaji said, as if reading his thoughts. "And I know you are afraid after whatever happened to your sister. But you have to understand Arnav that your sister was weak, she was still mourning her husband's death. She must have been a emotional wreck. All these affected her pregnancy. Khushi is perfectly fine. All she needs is your support and love, and I promise you Arnav she will be fine. Dont cause her any distress"
His resolve faltering a bit, he said, " No! I just can't! You have to understand me. I just can't, it makes me sick. I just can't stand pregnant women. Please convince her"
Buaji shook her head. " I won't do any such thing, Arnav. It's your fear, fight it. You can't kill a innocent baby just because you fear something which is not likely to happen. And if you have nothing else to say to her other than to abort the baby, then I suggest you leave. You and I both know Khushi won't do what you are asking her to, so leave her alone till you came around accepting the truth. No need to distress her more than she already is. Leave." Pulling him towards the door, she pushed him outside and closed the door.
Buaji pushed the door opened and entered Khushi's room. She sighed as she saw Khushi's pale face. This isn't good, not at all. She needs to do something, and soon. Walking towards the bed, she sat beside Khushi.
"Khushi?"
Khushi lifted her teary eyes to look at her Buaji. "You heard him Buaji ... I ...I don't know what to do ... What am I supposed to do?" She sobbed.
Buaji hugged her close. "Shh... I know you are hurting Khushi ...but stop crying ...Arnav is being impossible, I agree. But still you have to understand him ... He loves you ...He is afraid of losing you.. His fear of losing you is overpowering everything else .. And I don't know what to do to make him understand he is fearing for nothing... But for now my concern is you ... You need to take care of yourself, Khushi ... Not only for the baby, but also for Arnav .. You have to show him you are fine, nothing will happen to you... and .." she hesitated.
Sensing her hesitation Khushi pulled back from the hug and looked at her. " and what , Buaji?"
"You have me and Ebu here, but Arnav is alone there ..."
Khushi nodded. That's what had made leaving him harder. She didn't want to leave him alone, but he left her with no other choice. But still leaving him alone will do no good to him, to them. He will just become more upset, agitated, bitter. She just can't leave him alone to fuel his fears. She still remember how he had behaved when she had first left him in anger. He had shut her out, refusing to talk to her, refusing to listen to her. He had frightened her. She don't want to face that again. What is she supposed to do then? She can't go back. Not until he sees sense. She had thought by coming here, he will at least stop with his disgusting demand. But his earlier encounter with Buaji proved her wrong.
"I have a suggestion, Khushi..."
Khushi lifted her eyes to look at Buaji. "What Buaji? Don't ask me to go back to him. I won't go back untill he stops talking about our baby in such a way.."
"No, I wont ask you to do that. But still you can't leave him alone, it won't do any good to anyone. I think you should leave Ebu with him. "
Khushi stared at her. Ebu? How can she leave Ebu with him? Don't Buaji know how things are between Ebu and Arnav ji?
"I know how things are between them, Khushi.. And it will be in betterment of all . If nothing else , Arnav won't be alone and things will improve between them. Trust me, Khushi. This is the best thing to do. "
"But Ebu .." Khushi looked her sleeping Son. "I don't know Buaji ...I just don't know anything..." she buried her face in her palm.
His legs faltered as he pushed the door and entered inside his room. He stumbled inside the room, towards his bed.
"Buaji is right.. buaji is right" he chanted like a mantra, wanting his mind and heart to accept it. He don't want to upset Khushi. But he is helpless, too. He can't see her growing big with the baby - the baby which can take her away from him. No! He can't do that. He can't live like that. And he can't do anything to change Khushi's decision. It will be better if she stays away, safe. He can delude himself in thinking she is safe, and will come back to him soon. This way he can live. Yes, he can!
He sat on the bed and buried his face in his palm. He will have to do this. Khushi won't listen to him. So for the sake of his sanity and her health, he will stay away from her. He can live with the thought of her living at her Buaji's , safe and sound than living with her everyday with the knowledge of her leaving him one day. His train of thoughts broke as he head some voice. He lifted his face from his palm, blinking his eyes, adjusting his vision to the darkness in the room. And soon his gaze fixed at the two tiny feet. Was his mind playing tricks on him, like many other time?
"Daddy .."
"Abeer?" he called out, unsure.
Arnav closed his eyes for a moment. Expecting the image to vanish in the thin air, just what was happening with him these days. But it was always Khushi's image his mind conjured up, not Abeer.
He rubbed a hand on his face and opened his eyes, expecting the image to have vanished. But it didn't. Abeer was very much there. His sweet, cherub face staring at him.
"Abeer? Is that really you?"
Abeer smiled at him - the small fluttering smile he always gives him. He climbed on the bed and sat beside his Father. " Amma told me that I should stay with you, you need me. During day I will be with Amma and at night with you...Amma says you don't like sleeping alone...You can hold my hand..." Abeer smiled.
Without any hesitation, Arnav placed his hand in his. He needed this, he needs something, someone to retain his sanity, else he will go mad. The alcohol muddling his senses, striped him off his all hesitation and he pulled Abeer in a tight hug.
"Thank you... thank you so much for coming... I needed you ... " the warm, soft body against him provided more comfort than the alcohol he had consumed in the hope to stop the pain.
Pulling back from the hug, Arnav looked at his loving face. Combing back his hair from his forehead, he caressed his soft cheek. "You had your dinner?" Arnav asked.
Abeer nodded his head. "But I am hungry again.. " he said shyly, his small fingers fidgeting with the button of his Father's shirt.
"HP ...HP is not here ... I told him to go away... I...I will ask him to come tomorrow.. .what do you want to eat? " he pulled out his cell phone from his pocket.
"Pizza .. " Abeer replied, feeling more comfortable now.
"Pizza.." Arnav nodded. He tried to dial the number with his trembling fingers, but the phone slipped from his hand.
"I know the number, daddy ..." Abeer said and picked the phone. " I will call..."
Arnav nodded his head. "OK .. "
As Arnav received the pizza, he went inside the kitchen to fetch a bottle of water.
Entering the room, he went and sat in front of Abeer. "Here's your pizza ..." Arnav kept the pizza in between them.
"Thank you..." Abeer smiled broadly, making his Father smile too. "You have it, too.. " kneeling on the bed, he brought a slice to his mouth.
Arnav took a bite. "Thank you. But I am not hungry. You have it.. "
"OK .." Abeer sat back and concentrated on his pizza.
"Yes, we should.. ." Arnav replied. " come here..." he opened his arms.
Abeer went into his arms willingly. But frowned immediately. " You smell weird, daddy.. "
"I am sorry... " he apologized as he pulled back. " You go to sleep, I will clean up and then come back..."
"Fine.."
Arnav came out of the bathroom to see Abeer fast asleep, his sweet face glowing in the amber light. Getting into the bed, he pulled him in his arms. His warm body and sweet smell- so much like hers, lulling him to sleep.
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