DASHI FUTTT 21.8
Yeh Rishta Kya Kehlata Hai - 22 Aug 2025 EDT
THAKELA LOVE 22.8
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Mann main koi aur, shaadi se kisi aur
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Originally posted by: Drashtiii
Hi di,Yes you are right, that is when we think of ending our life.You were..?? OMG that would have been so painful.. but i am glad you fought with whtever it was, and came out more strong. haina..??We should always think of our parents and family members. if not any one they would be always there for you, always by your side..You are very correct we should let out all that we have in our mind that could help, but also we should check we let out to a sensible person not any body.Thanks a ton didi, i am happy i could atleast create such awareness.I will keep writing dont worryDrashti
Originally posted by: Drashtiii
Aww. .Thank you so much sweetie. .
Healing will be a sort of craziness. .
I dnt knw kokila modi :S
ha yar kitna bura bhala sunate hai parents ko. .
They even have the nerve to question their upbringing
like seriously. .!
Can they mind their own business
engg. .and brilliant are both poles apart. .hehehe atleast for me. .
hmmm... I just hate this society & society's aunties... -_- why can't they mind their own business??? huhhh... anyway you are expert in math that's why you're on engg field... math is my biggest enemy.. trigonometry and calculus are my fear oh God... I don't understand them especially calculus... :3
Originally posted by: Charmi98
Hiee...n frst of ol sry fr nt commenting on last chp...xams khatam hui na so uska hangover itar ne me thoda busy thi😆
Nw cuming to updates dey wer really penned beautifully...I can so relate to it...ya I dnt hv any of d issues ...I prefer living lyf Widout ol d jhamelas...n hv nt came across any sch situation bt yey I can feel n understand d pain n anxiety nandu is gng through...Thanks a lot fr brngng sch an amazing stry highlighting so sensitive tpc...its so different n luv reading it...sachu kau th I was so missing d stry as I was nt able to cum on IF bt nw im definitely nt gonna miss is...as it's seems super interesting hence ...Manan's meet nandu's past wid him. ...n so mny thmg really eager fr cuming updates continue soonLots of loveTake care...
Chapter 8
No way out
After Prologue part:
As I enter I saw 2 boys and a girl sitting on one side of the table and a chair was arranged, probably for me to their opposite. I slowly walked toward my chair. Constantly staring at a men I think is manik but how is this possible he was dead in that fire right? Then how come he is here? Is he my Manik?or someone else? I don't know how he looks now how will I recognize whether he is my manik or not? Do my parents know he is here? Yes that could be possible because as I said it is very difficult to get an appointment over here. So my dad must have requested him. But does he still remember me?
How will I face him? what will I tell him? what I am going through? Will he understand me? Will he give me my poems back? I am ashamed to face him I don't know how to read, how to write, I even don't know how to comprehend?
What could I explain? That I stayed at home because I felt an irrational fear and a sinking feeling at the pit of my stomach that refused to go away? It sounded so stupid and so unlike me. It was easier to avoid him and I was too beaten to take anything but the easy way out.
"Nandini, Come sit" a boy next to him called me out of my trance.
"He is Manik, and that is mukti and I am cabir" that guy introduced. I choose to ignore because still I am not sure whether he is my manik or not?
Then he and the lady doctor starts asking the questions. I hate someone prying into my life like this. I hate having to go through all this.
I feel trapped, cornered, exasperated and suddenly very tired. I just want it to end. So I start to answer.
The questions were exactly like the ones Dr. Mukta had asked me before. But this was a lot more in detail. Not only was he asking the questions which were detailed and precise, the lady doctor was also recording my responses. He was writing down everything I was saying. The lady doctor took her time recording all my answers. He then asked me to wait outside while he would discuss among themselves. He said they would want to speak to my parents.
It was after about fifteen whole minutes that my parents emerged. Their faces were grim. Neither I nor they spoke anything about manik. I thought my dad has forgotten him. I was about to tell them to go home when he said something that I didn't expected.
"Nandini, the senior doctors here have discussed your case. They feel that it is best that you are admitted and kept under observation," said my dad, as he put his hand on my shoulder.
It sounded to me like a death sentence. I was in complete shock. I did not want to come here in the first place. Now they were going to keep me here. It was so unacceptable to me. But they were not giving me any choice.
I could not speak even though I wanted to scream.
"We have opted for a private room for you. It is the best they have. You will get better very soon," my dad continued.
"Please dad, take me back home. I promise I will not do anything like that again," I pleaded with him. I felt disgusted with myself for pleading this way with my parents. But the dread and fear of being admitted at a mental hospital made me overcome my reluctance and I pleaded again.
"Please dad, please don't leave me here," I said again.
"Look, this is not easy for us," he said. "But this is for the best. How long can we go on like this? You were not getting any better. We have already tried one psychiatrists. This is the best medical care in the country. you will be looked after well here," he said with finality in his voice.
I closed my eyes and tried to calm my pounding heartbeats. I desperately looked around my surroundings.
I was now trapped not only mentally but physically as well in this place, which promised a cure.
More than ever, I wanted to die, but there was now no way out even for death.
It was only after my parents went out and left me alone with the attendant, in the private room which they had selected for me, that the now familiar sensation of fear and panic began setting in, like an old and dear friend who turns up uninvited to your home at an inconvenient time.
The room was nondescript. It was like any normal hospital room in a Government run hospital. A high bed made of iron, painted white, the bumpy rust beginning to show around the corners, dirty green industrial paint on the walls that was beginning to peel, a door that led to a bathroom with mosaic tiles that had seen better days and the unmistakable smell of disinfectant which all hospitals reek of. All I felt was a gnawing sense of abandonment which engulfed me, dragging me down. I, a full grown adult, felt like a two year old child that cries out for its mother, when she vanishes. I hated myself. I did not want to admit that I needed my parents. I wanted to be strong. I wanted to be in control. I did not want to be here, alone, all by myself in the ward of a mental hospital, relegated as a patient, a highly disturbed one at that, needing high observation and care.
But the fear was coming back. I began to experience the now familiar sinking feeling of panic in the pit of my stomach which was slowly spreading upwards. I needed them. I wanted them to stay. I wanted my mother to hug me and tell me that she was here for me. I wanted her to say that I mattered to her. I wanted her to comfort me and reassure me that things were going to be fine.
She did nothing of the sort.
"Ma, dad. Please don't go. Please," I called out, pleading, in a tone that I myself did not recognise, a tone that sounded alien to my own ears.
I was filled with a deep sense of rage, helplessness, frustration, anger and a sinking feeling of abandonment. How could they leave me like this? How could they agree to let me be admitted in a mental hospital? I wasn't crazy. I didn't want to be here.
At that moment I hated the world. I hated my parents. I hated life. I hated everything. I was filled with a loathing so dark, so deep and so impenetrable that it was hard to see anything else. All that was going on inside my head was that I was now admitted in a mental hospital and I was alone. Unknown to fact that pair of eyes is watching my every action
"I HATE YOU. BOTH OF YOU.COME BACK HERE"DON'T LEAVE ME LIKE THIS"YOU'RE MY PARENTS DAMMIT." I did not realise that I was screaming at the top of my voice. I did not even notice that I was trembling with rage, clenching my fists and yelling.
"WHY THE F**K DID YOU GIVE BIRTH TO ME? COME BACK DAMMIT" COME BACK," I continued yelling. I knew vaguely that I was losing control, but my emotions were ruling me completely. I looked around for something to throw at the door, but could see nothing. I clenched the stark white sheets instead and yanked them off the bed. The pillow went flying out, with the force.
I could see the nurse coming running in with two more attendants.
"She is out of control," the Nurse said to attendant next to her.
"SHUT UP," I yelled at her. "What the f**k do you know about out of control?" I turned my rage on her, my voice hysterical which again I did not recognise.
She wasn' t listening.
It was then that I saw the syringe in her hand. Both the attendants were now on either side of me and held my arms down. The rage that had risen like industrial smoke out of a giant furnace was threatening to blind me now. I wanted to smash their heads in. How dare they decide that I was out of control? I was furious. Who were they to deny me the expression of my anger? I kicked out with one leg, but the nurse had already driven the syringe in. I felt humiliated, insulted and helpless. So deep were my emotions that I was shaking and couldn't talk anymore.
I broke down into loud sobs and settled on the bed. I don't remember much as the sedative they had injected was beginning to take effect and my eyes shut.
Manik's POV
Flashback:
Nandini's home, Yesterday 7:00 pm
"Uncle, believe me I will take care of her" I again pleaded to her dad as he was not willing to come to hospital with nandini. Nandini's mother and my mother were like BFF in today's language. They studied from the same college. But they lost their contact after that dreadful fire incident. So, Nandini's parents know me. Though I don't like her father.
After knowing her past from Cochin, I directly came to her home to talk with her parents. As after listening to what that brat joseph said I knew something is wrong. Firstly they were shocked to see me alive. I explained everything about that past fire incident. By the end I was all teary. I cant still forget that day. It still haunts me. It still makes me weak. But here I was for some other reason and I need to be strong.
I told them all that I came to know about past of nandini. They too were shocked to hear all like I was. But they gave me more shock by telling nandu's present condition. I couldn't digest the fact that she tried to commit suicide 2 TIMES. I was numb at my place I don't know what to say how to react. Had it not been for her parents she would have... I didn't know she would be damaged to this extent. Sometimes we cant see the damage from outside that doesn't mean the person it alright from inside. Same is with nandini. I failed to see her pain.
I requested her parents to come along with her at my mental health care. They disagreed!! I was a bit disappointed with the reason they sighted to disagree. That is THEY DIDN"T WANTED THEIR DAUGHTER TO BE IN A MENTAL HOSPITAL.
I actually cant blame them as they are right. Its kinda notion in today's generation that if you visit a mental health care you are considered mentally retarded. People have a stigma about it. They do not understand the severity of it. I explained them all about the ailment I think she is suffering. But still I need to discuss the case with cabir and mukti.
"I need to talk to other doctors also, then only I can finally say you what exactly she is suffering from" I said and we planned about their next day's arrival at my hospital. I bided them adios.
I couldn't stay there for long. Thank god nandu was sleeping. How will she react when she comes to know about me. What if she doesn't believe that I am alive? what if she doesn't even take me as a friend now?
I went to cabir. I broke down in front of him.
"Cabir how can life be so mean to me? Am I that bad that I don't deserve happiness? I was so happy the day I saw her in the park. I thought I got something back precious that I lost before. But no! how can almighty let me be at peace? He has to snatch away that too from me. Do you know cabi nandu tried to commit suicide that to.. 2.. times." I said still not believing over it. The girl who was full of life wanted to end her life.
"What "he too was shocked with this information. He patted my shoulder and said
"Manik you need to be strong you can't break like this" Here I got another shock like cabir - the play boy is consoling me! But I was too shaken too pay heed to it. I have more important issue at my hand to handle.
I cant believe that MY NANDU is in so much pain. Oh sorry! Not MY'. She is now not mine. She toh doesn't know that I exist in this bloody damn world. She toh thinks I am dead.
Flashback Ends
I saw her shouting and yelling at her parents to take her back. But she doesn't know what she is suffering from its not just depression. No! I still can't believe I have to keep her here. Its all my fault I should have known this before. I failed to save her. Why I couldn't see that pain in her eyes? Had I known about this earlier she wouldn't have been here.
I felt a pat on my shoulder and wiped my non-stop tears. I turned around
He came and gave me a tight hug. I was too broken to even respond back. I was still not over her past and I got another shock about her condition. I came to know that she is suffering from... I gulped the lump formed in my throat. I still cant believe all this.
***********
I think this wasn't upto the mark. Manik's pov Kaisa laga? specially wo batana. Actually I have trimmed flashback part a lot coz it was getting awfully too long.
Okay. I will tell about her ailment in next update. Ek good news. Next update is full of Manan Convo and if you guys want I can give that tomorrow too!
Anupamaa
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
