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Veteran Actress Sandhya Shantaram Passes Away
Thank you for all those who liked and commented on prologue, and for those who showed interest in reading this FF. Here's first part and happy reading.
A note/reply @Kavitha Akka: Sorry for not getting back to you early. No, the husband's name wasn't mentioned in prologue but Archana Di knew it since this FF had been already posted (few parts, at least) years ago as I started my journey as a writer. Though there will be changes in its plot, its take and its presentation ;)
Chapter One
April, 2011
It was unusually a warm day, she thought looking at the early morning's golden rays streaming through worn out maroon cotton fabric that had once been her mother-in-law's saree but was now oddly hung loosely across the small window. It was only six-thirty in the morning but the Chawl was on its full swing with women engrossing in their daily rendezvous, mothers calling out for their children while the little group of kids ran around, heading no heels to the chain of screams of their names. The central courtyard was crowded with men, few smoking and few still dizzy with the previous night's alcohol intake, filled with random comments about everything ranging from girls that of married age who were being a burden for their parents to political decisions the parties were supposed to take in order to provide a better life for its people.
It was nothing new as Khushi shut the book with a definite slap, fingers pressing the back of her neck with concentric circles to loosen the nerves. The sight beheld the touch of familiarity in her otherwise ordeal life that had been for the past five months. As she walked towards the window and pushed the curtain further aside, her eyes straying across the courtyard and to the window opposite to hers. She could outline the structure of the rusty yellow shelves with grey marks and the moving form of her mother as Garima Gupta paced with unnecessary hurriedness to serve her husband with a cup of coffee. Ten steps, Khushi let the thought settle down in her mind as a lone tear found its way from the corner of her eye; the shortest distance of ten steps changed her life forever, forcing her to leave her house behind as she moved forward with her husband.
Husband, she scoffed at the word as she tilted her head, her gaze falling on the empty bed. Her husband seemed to be blessed with a rare talent of stepping in and out of their shared room, coming at late hours and leaving early, none of his entries and exits crossed its paths with her mother-in-law. The reasons varied from meetings to trips when asked, but she knew that he was doing his best to avoid being with her, or around her, unable to keep up with the farce of their marriage and confessing the same to their families.
Yet, she couldn't bring herself and hate, or even dislike her husband for what he had asked her to do, of what sacrifices he was asking her by pretending to be his wife. For all he cared was the wellbeing of his mother, the usually lousy woman with a weak heart. Khushi walked the distance, arranging the bed with a hopeless smile. Wasn't her illness the reason for their haste marriage? And to his credit, he did try to convey the hardships of their relationship and how and why he and Khushi couldn't work together but the stubborn, overtly sensitive and her persona of valuing society and its respect more than the peace and happiness of her own family, Khushi's mother-in-law refused to hear another word.
If there was anything that could be termed as good that came out of the farce, was that she was allowed to pursue her education. A bachelor's degree in business management had been her goal for as long as she could remember. And now, she was on her way in having one, she smiled dreamily as she made her way out of the room, to get the cleaning and cooking done so that she could leave, start her day and spend it in her haven, the library of the university she was enrolled in.
The path ahead was not smooth and none of her family, her parents and parents-in-law alike, disliked the very idea of her attending a college but her husband had managed to convince them. Though that didn't stop all hurtful comments and disappoint glares, she was glad for being given a chance to fulfil her dreams.
"Good morning, Amma." Khushi greeted with a cheerful smile, the sight of her mother-in-law sitting in the living room, following an early program in a religious channel was one of the very first things that attracted Khushi to the woman when she was a kid. Where was that kind woman who had been there by her mother's side whenever her grandmother retorted with rude comments for not bearing a son to the family? Khushi wondered as she walked past her and to the kitchen, looking around it as she tied her hair into a loose bun. People changed over the years, and so were situations. Now, all she could see in that elderly woman was the mother of man who didn't want to accept her as his wife and yet supported her while her own family refused to do so.
Who was this man? And what was he to her? These were the two questions Khushi often found herself pondering about. Sure, he was known for his unapologetic, self-centeredness and his actions proved just that. When he had decided to have an Engineering degree, his father wasn't pleased and yet, he never bowed his head nor let anyone dictate him. Opinions never mattered as he did his best, his single minded focus on snatching worldly pleasures encouraged him throughout. And deep down, it was one of many reasons that cemented her own dreams.
And honesty was one other trait that drew her towards him as a kid. Then, it was irritating and now, it was hurtful.
"He left? Again?" Her mother-in-law's voice penetrated through the swirls of her thoughts as Khushi turned around, biting her lower lip while trying to mask her emotions.
This was the time of the day that she hated. Lying was one thing Khushi consciously avoided, the environment of the Chawl demanding just that at times in order to save oneself from being hurt or subjected to humiliation. But to lie outrageously to one's family, deceiving them with false hopes... she shut her eyes painfully for a brief second before smiling at the elderly woman.
"He has a meeting with a client, Amma." Khushi lied smoothly, the softness in her timber making it believable as she turned around, kneading the dough. "And he said he needs to present few projects that he has been working on for the past few months."
"He works so hard, isn't he, Khushi?" It was edgy, plain words weighing down with disappointment that seemed to be a constant emotion fixed to her voice.
Khushi shifted uneasily. How she wished she could just blunt out the truth and walk out of their lives, and to never look back! She could have, if that wouldn't cost her mother-in-law's health. The memory was still fresh, the days that followed after her husband's revelation of parting ways. The elder woman had been livid, pale and lifeless, and on the edge of having a second stroke.
"Yes, Amma." She said softly, expecting the inevitable response and flinched when it did come a second later.
"And you're making sure to be a burden on him."
If there was one thing she was grated in fulfilling a dream, Khushi wouldn't think twice in asking for a change. A change in society, a change in its mindset and a change in opinions on daughters. From them being a burden to the one equally talented and responsible as their sons.
Hadn't it been proved, time and again, both in history and in the past, that women were no less than men, if not more?
Then, for the love of lord god, why was this simple, universal truth not being acknowledged and understood?
"Three years and I will have a job, Amma." Khushi explained patiently, repeating yet again the same thing that she had been saying for the past five months. "Then, we can have everything we needed without really compromising on our comfort. We'll have a better life."
"Whatever I have right now," her mother-in-law snapped back, "I'm comfortable with it, Khushi. I don't get your need to study or to work when my son is doing a fair job in taking care of his family. Then again, as he said, if he wants his wife to be as educated as him, there's really nothing we can do about it."
Khushi gulped the threatening sob as she looked up at her mother-in-law. Though all she could see was the concern for her son, Khushi couldn't help but envy the love the mother was showering upon her son - something Khushi was never blessed with her own mother as Garima spent most of her time pleasing Khushi's grandma.
She smiled and turned her back to her mother-in-law, busying herself with the chores having nothing to say to comfort the mother in the elder woman. She wanted to ask, to question the unfair treatment and unwanted differences between a daughter and a son. Yet, she failed to do so.
"Tell him that I want to talk to him, Khushi. Enough of this running away just because I refused to accept his decision. Tell him to..." the woman looked sharply in her eyes and shook her head. "No, don't tell him. Wake me up instead."
Khushi nodded, having left with no other option than to accept the odd request of a mother. This was not how she wished to have her married life. Hell, she didn't want to get married before settling down and securing her family financially by helping her father with his sweet shop.
__________
Arnav Singh Raizada stood by the door with his hands across his chest, looking at the dilapidated room on the second floor of Laxmi Nagar Chawl - a place from which his mother had walked away when he was all but five. Now, twenty-four years later, he was where his home was supposed to be, staring at the middle aged stranger who gave him birth with uncertainty for the first time in decades. If the environment of the Chawl was a surprising, unpleasant truth concealed from him, the single room was a hard blow to his otherwise comfortable life. It was... disgusting, the state of the room and its owner. He had felt it before he stepped into the Chawl. He had been sure of it when he saw the narrowed glances and astonishments of its residents when enquired about Suraj Malik.
When he had come home late night a few weeks ago, he had been shocked to his wits at the hushed tones of his parents, its urgency dragging him towards the source. He had been mortified to watch his mother with silent tears while his father hugged her, soothing her back with his hand. It was not something he was used to greet with, a sight that had been as foreign to his knowledge as stranger in the room. But before he could let his presence known, he heard the mumbled whispers of his parents, the frightening in his mother and the concern in his father, of the secrets that altered the course of his life.
I can't do this. I can't let my son know about him.
He has the right to know.
He doesn't. And he will never know about his parentage. Suraj has no right to meet Arnav.
He is his father and we should confess the same before Arnav gets to know through other sources.
Arnav smiled self-deprecatingly. It didn't make any sense, to come to Delhi all the way, hiding it near his family as he decided to meet his biological father. For one last time, he thought, the sound distasting as they rolled in his mouth. Or, was it just a beginning for a new journey? It was something that was bothering him ever since he decided to pay a visit. And to know the reasons for hiding it. no, he didn't want to know the reasons for his mother walking out of her marriage. Arnav knew that it was between his mother and her... ex-husband. And he had no right to interfere in their lives or question their decisions. Yet, it hurt. To know that the man whom he had been loving, respecting and worshipping as his father was not the one. To not know who his father really was, not by his name or appearance but with something beyond any physical apprehension.
The area was everything Neelima Singh Raizada said it would, Arnav noted with a faint smile. People haven't changed an iota, he could sense from the little time he had been here. The screaming and shouting and murmuring as he walked past them, the whispers and judgments while he caught onto his mother's name, forced him to wish that he hadn't stepped in such low class lives. It was as frustrating as it left him with no other option, in a pool of helplessness as he now turned around, leaving the small room as he stepped along the corridor, leaning onto the banister as he breathed in, unable to stand anymore with the man who was oblivious to his presence, nursing a cat, lost and lifeless.
Throughout his life, Arnav was being pampered, loved and cared by all of his family members. The idle son, the circle he lived with had often nodded at Rishi Raizada, the perfect kid any parent would wish for. Always topping in his grades and following the footsteps of his father and never disappointing him. The brother of his younger siblings who looked up at him and worshipped the grounds he walked on. With a bachelor's degree in Computer Sciences and a master's in business management, he was a leading Database Programmer in an MNC IT sector. A perfect job, they had said.
But after years of being the best in everything with a job that secured his career growth and his financial status, Arnav was not sure if this was what he really wanted to do for the rest of his life. True, he had been impressed with computers. Yet, at twenty-nine, he was looking out for a change. A change in profession and a change in personal relationships. The path ahead was not planned, and there were questions that would arise with his behavior. His family wouldn't be pleased with these alterations and he would have avoided if he could. But not anymore. He needed to know Suraj Malik, and take care of him. It was his responsibility and neither his mother nor his father had the right to ask him not to take care of Suraj Malik.
He looked on, still reeling under the decision he had unknowing made, at the group of women, laughing amiably as they gathered around a worshipping plant at the middle of the courtyard. He couldn't imagine his life in such a clustered environment and his respect for its residents grew invariably. He smiled inwardly, knowing that he would have been one of them if not for...
Arnav shook his head, clearing his mind. No use of going back with a chain of what if's. For what he had, he was thankful. He breathed in, it was time for him to go in and talk to the man for what it's worth. But he stared down, the flash of red too bright in its intense, arresting his vision at the fragile form the fabric was hung to.
"Khushi Jiji!"
The shout came from somewhere to his right and he turned to see a kid few steps away, leaning onto the banister. Arnav followed the kid's gaze only to be met the same flash of red before she arched her head, the thick lashes blinking as she shielded her eyes with her palm, smiling cheerfully at the kid.
"Garima Kaki asked me to remind you that you and NK Jeeja are supposed to go to temple."
A wave of disappointment seeped within as Arnav stared at the girl, clutching the edge as he leaned further in, his eyes taking in every slightest movement as the girl rolled her eyes.
"Bantu, tell Amma to call her son-in-law herself with her odd request."
Arnav smiled as he straightened himself. Too bad she was married, he thought with a wry smile. As he turned around, not really caring about the instant attraction he felt for the girl, focusing instead on the impending conversation.
He would talk to the man, and convince him, tie him down if need be, and leave the Chawl to never come back.
__________
[NOCOPY] P Y A A R. K A. N A G H M A. "Friends?" a little boy extended his hand towards a girl which she responded. They smiled and embraced...
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