Mastaangi -On the ship that will never be

Need and Want:

It's a thin slippery line between need and want , one that makes all the difference .

It was like something out of a B grade Bollywood movie, a total farce. If it had been anyone else in the same situation, it would have been hilarious, laugh till you cry funny. This though, was cold, hard reality.

It was a matter of pride that nothing ever fazed agent Kabir, this though had him stumped .

One minute he had been on bended knee proposing to the woman he believed was the love of his life , the next thing he knew he was starring into the barrel end of a gun, aimed directly at his chest.

Even as Kabir sat frozen , starring disbelievingly , the ingrained RAW agent in him was taking in details . It should have looked odd, delicate, doll like Udita holding a gun , but her grip on the weapon and her stance spoke of someone who was familiar with the workings of one .The gun look like it had a silencer fitted in it .Years of training kicked in , at this point a fight would be futile , his only shot at survival would be to stall , try to dissuade her.

"Udita, is that gun to threaten me if I teases you .." he began , keeping his tone deliberately light , casual. Her voice, cold and mechanical cut in , "Agent ,Salima Afroz Khan , there never was an Udita.

He stared at the stunning stranger in front of him , no trace of the laughing , happy , carefree girl he thought he knew . Damn Anushka for being right . "You killed bhaijaan , he was the only family I had " , her voice , shrill with anguish broke into his musings.

What brother was she talking about ? The last person he had killed in recent memory was the scum in Turkey . " The bas***d deserved it , he hurt Anu . She' s all I have left", he replied . She stepped back , as if surprised by the venom in his voice . If she hoped for an apology , an admission of guilt , she wouldn't get it . Nobody hurt Anushka . His eyes found hers , and he ground out "I'd do it again , in a heartbeat".

From seemingly nowhere Raghuveer sir's voice floated into his head , " There will be many many women you'll want Kabir , but only one you cannot do without , one you need , the trick is to be able to identify her ." He barely felt the bite of the barrel pressing deeper into his chest .

Chaotic images filled his head each blurring into the other, like a movie on fast-forward.

Of being 9 , and bullied on the school playground , and a much taller Anu coming to his rescue . Of being 11, living at Anushka's place and all but adopted by her family .Of innumerable birthdays , PTA meetings , fights and shared meals . Of being 19 , and comforting her when her first real boyfriend had broken her heart , and breaking the bas***d's knees later. Of going through college and training together , of working together as partners , of renting their first apartment together .Of just being .

Shared laughter and celebration , rip roaring fights and dire threats , quite comfort and unwavering loyalty, feeling like he belonged . The sense of coming home when he'd slid the ring onto her finger.

Anushka , who was now a whole inch shorter than him in heels . With hair that waved every which way , eyes that shone with keen wit and intelligence that made her a formidable agent , an upturned nose that was the bane of her existence , and a sassy mouth that had an ever ready quip.

There wasn't a single moment, or a memory without her . He'd needed her , long before he realized it .Smart man , captain Raghuveer.

It felt like a lifetime had flashed past, but it had barely been a couple of seconds . He heard the release of the safety catch . In that split second before the bullet found its mark , it hit him in a blinding flash , he loved Anushka , always had , always would .

As the stain spread across his chest , and he toppled to the floor , a ghost of a smile creased his face . This simply could not be the end , he still had to get the girl.