Arshi FF: Destined To Love #2 LINK TO#3 Pg151 - Page 29

Chapter 21

Khushi gazed out of the car window and inhaled the fresh air. For three days all that she saw was plain white hospital walls, dull curtains, patients being wheeled in and out and of course seriously boring hospital staff. But now there was greenery around, lush tree branches were swaying to the music played by cool breeze and pretty flowers were blooming in joy. This was life, beautiful and peaceful.

Sitting on the back seat she touched her stomach lightly and gazed at arnav from behind. Although no person would ever enjoy the time spent in a hospital , its scary hearing patients wail in pain and seeing doctors attend to them in a very insensitive and unemotional manner as for them its just their daily job nothing more than that and believe it or not she would have fallen more sick had he not been there with her. His presence and his care made the whole experience less taxing and stressful for her. Not that shalini was less concerned, she was always on her toes, juggling between hospital and home, ensuring that khushi ate and rest properly but still somewhere the way she handled her in the hospital and even before that was quite different from him.

Shalini's anxiety and fret was and had always been more for the child that she was carrying in her womb, not that she held it against shalini, after all how many married women could accept and love a child that belonged to their husband and not them.

Her eyes softened as her gaze once again fell on him and she remembered the time he spent with her in the hospital. Strangely not much was verbally exchanged between them but still there was much more that actual words could convey. He was always in talks with the doctors ensuring that she got the best treatment and quite often she caught him by her side all awake during the wee hours of the night just staring at her, physical exhaustion quite evident in his eyes still his eye lids dropped only for some time. Not once did he went back home to rest, he changed, ate and slept in the hospital itself. He was adamant on not leaving the premises as long as she was admitted there. Leaning her head against the window she let out an audible sigh, for once someone was truly worried for her.

Sitting behind the wheel arnav drove carefully and cautiously avoiding the pits. His eyes were fixed on the road ahead while his mind still strayed over the events that had occurred in the past few days. Her bleeding and fainting before him, her refusing point blankly for the abortion and risking her life just to make sure that he got the happiness that he waited and craved for so long ...everything was still so fresh in his mind also for the first time he saw his baby moving before his eyes. Yes he had finally gotten a chance to be with her during the latest ultrasound that was undertaken just to ensure that post this fiasco the baby was growing fine inside her womb. Although there was every possibility of him losing this opportunity as well because he was waiting for her outside the doctor's cabin when she was taken in for the check up however few minutes later he was called in as the mother wished the father of the child to be with her. shalini was sitting across the computer screen with her eyes glued to the monitor as he walked slowly and stood next to khushi.

Instead of gazing at the screen he was looking at her with furrowed brows thinking that she was troubled and not feeling well. It was when she silently pointed towards the monitor that his eyes finally shifted from her and landed on his child. That's when it hit why she'd called for him. His eyes oscillated from the screen to her as if asking was this all for real? She smiled and blinked her eyes in response. The baby was now bigger than before. The head and the limbs were more clearly visible. He couldn't describe what he felt on seeing his own flesh and blood like that. A smile dared to tug the corners of his lips. The moment was magical and special. Glancing back at her he desired to thank her but the word felt so small compared to what she'd done and was doing for him.

The fear that she might lose her life eventually swept his senses once again and drained out all the joy that he was experiencing some time back. Both were dear to him and he didn't wish to lose any of them. Pursing his lips and gulping the lump in his throat he left the room without uttering a word.

From the corner of her eye, shalini saw him driving silently, his face was creased and his expressions were serious. He was still miffed with her, although he didn't accuse or blame her openly still she could sense that he was upset with her decision to bring khushi to mahabaleshwar. She tried to speak to him on this issue but he didn't wish to listen, by showing her his palm and declaring that as soon as khushi felt better they would shift back to ratnagiri, he had brought this topic to an end. There was nothing more to be discussed, that's what he thought but he was mistaken, she wouldn't sit down quietly...she couldn't afford to. There was still a lot at stake and he was failing to realize that, taking a short term view he was overlooking the bigger picture and she needed to show him that... somehow or the other. Time was running out and she had to act quickly.

The car stopped outside the house bringing all the passengers out of their respective thoughts. Putting an arm around khushi's shoulder, shalini walked her in. laxmi was waiting anxiously for them at the door and welcomed them with a broad smile.

" how are you?" she asked about khushi's health who in turn nodded her head smilingly suggesting that she was much better now. The housekeeper was about to inquire more but saw abhi stepping in with the bags. More than his sight, the role that he played in the lives of both the ladies disconcerted laxmi a lot. There were still many things about these tangled and complicated relations that were unknown to her. As soon as khushi was admitted, she was ordered to go back home by shalini...her presence was not required therefore all she knew was that khushi was weak, in pain and needed to be in the hospital for some days.

khushi caught how within a few seconds the sentiments floating in laxmi's eyes changed. She couldn't gauge the reason behind her change in behavior but believed something was bothering this elderly lady. Anyhow she was too tired to think about anything at the moment, all she wanted was to hit her bed and that's what she did but before that for the first time while entering the house she turned her neck to the left side where there was a small puja room and gazed at the idol of bappa with softened eyes. After a long time she looked over the wall that she'd built between Him and herself.

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The cooker whistled regularly disturbing her slumber and she woke up not only to the noise that was coming from the kitchen but also to her grumbling stomach that was starving. Looking at the wall clock opposite her bed she realized that it was close to dinner time. She tossed the blanket aside and was ready to hop out of her bed when laxmi came with the dinner tray.

" mausi , I'll come out to eat." there was no need to get the tray here, she could come out and join everyone for the dinner.

" no..you need proper rest." laxmi stopped her sternly, she still appeared weak moreover why did she wish to stress herself unnecessarily. Keeping the tray on her lap, laxmi left the room and was about to shut the door behind when khushi called and told her to leave the door ajar.

Glancing down at the plate khushi made an unhappy face, she wanted go out and eat with him. It had been such a long time since she had done that. She shook her head in disappointment while bringing a morsel of chapatti and vegetable to her mouth. Never mind soon she would be back to RM and then everything would be like it was before.

Arnav as usual sat at the head of the table and shalini to his left, he glanced to his right, the seat was empty. Both of them were silent and deep into their thoughts. laxmi who was busy serving them found the silence quite strange. What kind of a couple they were, meeting after so many days still had nothing to exchange! arnav poured himself water and as though sensing khushi's eyes on him gazed in the direction of her room. He was right she was looking at him by leaning her upper body forward and peeping out of the room, however on getting caught by him she immediately moved back and straightened her posture. Silly woman always worried about his eating, just that she didn't lose her sleep over his eating less, he served himself some more rice.

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It was close to midnight when the activities of the house came to a rest and arnav finally made way to shalini's room that was at the end of the hall. His eyes scanned the whole room, it was quite small and less spacious when compared to their room in RM. Walking towards the bed he glanced at it, shalini was rolled up on side of the bed leaving enough space for him. His eyes stared at her back that was facing him then travelled to the empty area of the bed. He stood there rooted for some time then without thinking further kicked his shoes off to lay on the bed.

Shalini was all awake, in fact she was waiting for him. Sensing the bed push down with his weight she slowly turned to his side and slid her fingers into his right hand, caressing the back of his hand with her thumb. His left arm that was resting over his forehead, stiffened.

" arnav."

" hmm"

" you're still upset with me?" she asked softly. Removing his arm from his forehead he turned and looked at her, nope he wasn't really annoyed with her.

" shalini let me sleep . "Seriously he was too tired and didn't want to get into any discussion right now. Even though he appeared sleep deprived still she wished to discuss about not returning to ratnagiri. He was calm and peaceful, the chances of him blowing his lid off were less, she wanted to capitalize on this opportunity.

" we need to talk ."

The lady lying next to him would never understand him. He rolled his eyes and kept his irritation in control before telling her," my head is aching ... we'll talk in the morning ." Hearing about his head ache she at once sat up slightly and began pressing his temples gently with both her hands. Her glass bangles tinkled softly near his ears. Sighing deeply he closed his eyes, he didn't remember when was the last time his wife pressed his throbbing temples or showed so much concern and honestly he didn't even care to think about it, all he wanted was to sleep peacefully therefore removed her hands slowly and told her with his eyes shut to not worry and doze off quietly. She leaned over, pressed her forehead against his before kissing it softly leaving him... surprised. This was something that he used to do long time back when she would get upset. A gesture that was now a long forgotten memory...a memory that didn't succeed to stir anything within him.

Shalini had this habit of occupying not only more than required space in his life but also their bed thus way past midnight she rolled over in her sleep and snuggled close to him. Sometime later he felt some weight on his body, shalini's head was placed on his shoulder while her right arm was wrapped around his torso. Pursing his lips he attempted to move her back but she only snuggled into him further, burying her face in the crook of his neck. He took a long, slow and deep breath before dropping his eye lids and attempting to sleep again. Seconds turned into minutes and minutes were turning close to an hour but he wasn't able to snooze. He didn't know why he was beginning to feel suffocated and uncomfortable. Maybe the room was too small and less airy. May be tonight he didn't drink and that's why he was awake. Maybe he had gotten used to sleeping on a couch instead of a bed or may be the change in surroundings were making him restless. As always his mind was all ready with a list of excuses but Whatever it was he didn't bother and carefully lifted her face from his shoulder, moved her arm aside and got off the bed. She stirred a bit and murmured something that was inaudible before dozing off. He stared at her sleeping form for a minute then covered her with the blanket and left the room.

Reaching the hall he at once dropped his huge body on the large couch and buried his head in the cushion. Although his overworking mind was ready to analyze this whole thing but he pushed away all the thoughts, he would think over them some other time not now.

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With one hand slipped in his pocket and the other one dialing some number on his cell phone he was walking up and down shalini's room but stopped on seeing khushi stand at the door. His eyes held her gaze as she slowly came in.

" arnav ji I wish to say something ." Quite strange, all of a sudden both the ladies wished to talk to him. Moving his head up he gave her the permission to speak up. She licked her lower lip nervously before saying," I want to stay here and not go back." Lifting her gaze up she saw anger simmer in his eyes. She knew he would be upset and question her but he was simply staring back at her.

As far as he remembered till yesterday she was elated with the idea of returning to ratnagiri, then what happened? Crossing his arms before his chest he tilted his head slightly and waited for her to enlighten him more. She didn't know how to explain and convince him but she had to, placing her hand over her protruding belly she asked," back home what will I say, why I'm staying with you ..and ...and who's baby is this ?" with each passing day it would be difficult to hide from the people of ratnagiri the fact that he was the father of this child. They would definitely raise fingers on her as she would be staying with them. He still didn't open his mouth to speak a word , just clenched his jaws firmly on hearing her question.

" and moreover everyone thinks that di is carrying the child." She attempted to make him think straight and look at things practically but he flared his nostrils in fury. So shalini was behind all this, he should have sensed it...she was only concerned about her image that would be tatters when the truth behind her false pregnancy would come out in the open.

" what was the need for her to lie in the first place ?" he questioned through clenched teeth. khushi sighed deeply, correct shalini shouldn't have lied about her pregnancy but whatever she did was for the benefit of them. Months later seeing a baby all of a sudden playing in shalini's lap would have definitely raised eye brows. So that nobody questioned the integrity of their marriage and point fingers at his child, shalini had to tell this big fat lie.

Taking a step towards him, she spoke patiently," you know di did this for your happiness." Why wasn't he understanding such a simple thing. He shook his head in disagreement," no, she's only concerned about herself ." He never wished to be part of shalini's plan, she forced him into it.

How could he say that shalini didn't think about him? With irritation creeping up in her eyes she thought he needed to be reminded of something very important," arnav ji...I think you're forgetting this child will call you papa too." It wasn't that only shalini would get to mother this child, even he would become a father then how could he accuse her of being selfish?

The truth was bitter but it was important that he realized and accepted it. Agreed this whole surrogacy idea never appealed to him but then it was a thing of the past. It couldn't be changed. He had to move ahead and look at the future.

Scrunching his nose he grabbed her by her shoulders, his hold was firm but not hurtful. Looking deep into her eyes he asked," shalini, asked you to say all this?" she parted her lips to say no, shalini had not openly asked her to speak to him, she was only sharing her fears with her and it hardly mattered whether shalini suggested her to have a word with him or not...the bottom line was that shalini was right and she agreed with her!

" no, she didn't ." He didn't seem convinced and looked at her suspiciously, he was sure she was hiding something from him. He remembered clearly how distraught she was while leaving RM , not for a moment did she wished to leave RM and now when he was readily taking her back then again because of shalini she was curbing her feelings.

" don't you want to come back with me?" his blunt question, startled her, how did he know that she was dying to go back, that she was so excited over the prospect of carrying out her last stage of pregnancy with he being around her. She never hoped that she would ever get back to him but his sudden announcement that they all would return to RM had made her heart jump in joy.

" WHAT I desire doesn't make a difference." she averted her gaze to hide her disappointment. What she felt hardly mattered. Her eyes scattered the floor as she remembered how happy she was few hours back while packing her bags and was grinning ear to ear till her gaze fell on shalini who was sitting in the hall all alone, lost in her thoughts. Assuming that something was wrong with her pregnancy she approached shalini only to know about the thoughts that were creating a storm in her mind.

Shalini feared that by going back would tarnish his image as people would never understand that she couldn't bear a child and all this they were doing only to bring a new life and some happiness in their lives. The respect that he had earned in their eyes would crumble like a pack of cards on knowing that a prostitute was carrying his child. The words had knocked her out but then shalini was only giving her a reality check. A much needed one.

She couldn't afford to see people accusing him or looking at him with disrespect because of her. His respect and stature were far more important and valuable to her than her own personal happiness. She could stay away from him but not let him go through hell with her presence.

She freed herself from his grip and stepped back. It took her the whole of the afternoon to first convince her broken and aching heart then prepare herself to change his mind as he was not willing to listen to shalini.

" what if something happened to you in my absence ?" for god sake her life was precious to him and he didn't want to take any chances! If he wished to be with his child and keep her before his eyes to ensure that she was doing well then what was wrong in that? Would these two women ever listen to him!

" di, is here with me." She knew shalini would take utmost care of her and the baby. With gritted teeth he spat back," and I've seen what she's done here." She rolled her eyes and shook her head in defeat, she didn't have any more stamina to convince him that she would be fine here and shalini's fears .

Looking back in his eyes without any fear, for the last time she said," I'm not going back and that's final ." With blood boiling in his veins and fire spitting from his eyes he glared at her, how dare she refuse him! She knew she wasn't wrong, all this wasn't easy for her, it was shattering her heart but she was doing it because this decision was for his good, if still he didn't wish to understand then even she wouldn't stand here forever to argue with him. She left the room without saying anything further...she had made herself amply clear! She wouldn't go back, come what may!

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