Ashoka: A fanfic: Chapter 20: The Interlude (Page 46) - Page 9

Posted: 8 years ago
Babur
I m really impressed with this... There is a class nd quality in your writing... nd usage of words... beautifully used...πŸ‘

On a serious note...
May be u may nt write fr a commercial show... bt I really insist u write a political thriller.. may be a fictional one.. like Baahubali...  publish a book.. atleast publish an e book on wattpad...  I m serious... its awesome...πŸ‘πŸΌ

Or u can write this same story on wattpad under fan fiction category...
Posted: 8 years ago
Being a loyal viewer of the show, let me tell you how fused I was when the plan to take back Taxhilla was made. Despite the allegiances I did have some hope that at least those ministers/Brahmins who arrive once a Bluemoon to flounce their existence would at least give a thought to how seriously Bindusar and Ashok were underestimating Keechak.
The plan of this two seriously oblivious father-son duo was to go to Taxhilla by Samudri Marg, then for Ashok to laud his identity with the Mohur, undermine Keechak's loyalty and kill them, then open trade routes. And through all these Keechak will sit in his palace waiting for Ashok to drop in! Seriously. This is a plan??🀒

I am just unimaginably happy at the track you have taken up. Your tactic is one of those mentioned in Art of War - if you can't face an army forefront, then cripple them from the sides.
Well done.

Keechak despite being a cruel ruler is a perfectionist. He had very well strengthened his hold over Taxhilla and his charisma and determination is steel.
Direct confrontation would never work. And that's why I can't express how pleased I am with your sideways jaunt.

I have a request and a suggestion. Well can you I mean give more space to Aashok's friends. When Ii watched MP, the friendship between Pratap - Som, Pratap - Chakrapani; Maan; Vyeni was wonderfully portrayed. These friends would go against any authority to help each other. Pratap always had them by side. Som's cruel death fueled him to make his first kill of Shams Khan.

I found Ashok really missing on allies who would be just there to talk about everyday things, not simply political ones. Remember the Lakshyagraha track where Subaho and Vasunandan had their own part in helping Ashok. The camaraderie was awesome. Think you can include something like that? Please give a thought on this matter.

Asandh??
So Asandhamitra. Plus there is Ambush too. Eeeshh you are really spoiling me!

Cheers
- Niki
Posted: 8 years ago
Wonderful update babur...
I don't like this man sudheshan...😑
How dare he said this he don't faith in ashoka...
Khalltak ka chamcha...
I hope charu see sushim as his drunken state...
It will be fun...ek thappad to yaha bhi banta hai na...πŸ˜‰πŸ˜†
Thriller like amish tripathi's book...πŸ‘
Impressive work...Loved it πŸ€—
Well I know it's 3 days late to say this...But 
Happy New Year πŸ₯³πŸ˜†
Edited by Imashkara - 8 years ago
Posted: 8 years ago
Originally posted by musicndance2


Babur
I m really impressed with this... There is a class nd quality in your writing... nd usage of words... beautifully used...πŸ‘

On a serious note...
May be u may nt write fr a commercial show... bt I really insist u write a political thriller.. may be a fictional one.. like Baahubali...  publish a book.. atleast publish an e book on wattpad...  I m serious... its awesome...πŸ‘πŸΌ

Or u can write this same story on wattpad under fan fiction category...

I will consider it. Life is busy enough as it is for me. I am more of a part-time writer and I am writing this story only for the forumers.

Will consider it definitely. But let's see.πŸ˜†

Thanks for reading.
Posted: 8 years ago
Originally posted by mistofshadows


Being a loyal viewer of the show, let me tell you how fused I was when the plan to take back Taxhilla was made. Despite the allegiances I did have some hope that at least those ministers/Brahmins who arrive once a Bluemoon to flounce their existence would at least give a thought to how seriously Bindusar and Ashok were underestimating Keechak.
The plan of this two seriously oblivious father-son duo was to go to Taxhilla by Samudri Marg, then for Ashok to laud his identity with the Mohur, undermine Keechak's loyalty and kill them, then open trade routes. And through all these Keechak will sit in his palace waiting for Ashok to drop in! Seriously. This is a plan??🀒

I am just unimaginably happy at the track you have taken up. Your tactic is one of those mentioned in Art of War - if you can't face an army forefront, then cripple them from the sides.
Well done.

Keechak despite being a cruel ruler is a perfectionist. He had very well strengthened his hold over Taxhilla and his charisma and determination is steel.
Direct confrontation would never work. And that's why I can't express how pleased I am with your sideways jaunt.

I have a request and a suggestion. Well can you I mean give more space to Aashok's friends. When Ii watched MP, the friendship between Pratap - Som, Pratap - Chakrapani; Maan; Vyeni was wonderfully portrayed. These friends would go against any authority to help each other. Pratap always had them by side. Som's cruel death fueled him to make his first kill of Shams Khan.

I found Ashok really missing on allies who would be just there to talk about everyday things, not simply political ones. Remember the Lakshyagraha track where Subaho and Vasunandan had their own part in helping Ashok. The camaraderie was awesome. Think you can include something like that? Please give a thought on this matter.

Asandh??
So Asandhamitra. Plus there is Ambush too. Eeeshh you are really spoiling me!

Cheers
- Niki

Thanks for reading Niki. I share the same sentiments as you. It was a stupid plan. If Taxilla was that dangerous for Sushim then Bindusar should have plotted out a better plan to ensure Ashok's safety. I really hate the way the show is portraying him right now.

As for surprises wait and see. Hope you like what I am going to show in the next few chapters.πŸ˜†

As for Ashok's friends I will integrate them into the story eventually. They have their own character arcs.

There is also a forgotten character I am planning to redeem in this track.πŸ˜›
Edited by babur1527 - 8 years ago
Posted: 8 years ago
Originally posted by Imashkara


Wonderful update babur...
I don't like this man sudheshan...😑
How dare he said this he don't faith in ashoka...
Khalltak ka chamcha...
I hope charu see sushim as his drunken state...
It will be fun...ek thappad to yaha bhi banta hai na...πŸ˜‰πŸ˜†
Thriller like amish tripathi's book...πŸ‘
Impressive work...Loved it πŸ€—
Well I know it's 3 days late to say this...But 
Happy New Year πŸ₯³πŸ˜†

Thank you for reading madam. Glad you enjoyed it.

Belated greetings of the New Year to everyone.😊
Posted: 8 years ago
Originally posted by babur1527



Thanks for reading Niki. I share the same sentiments as you. It was a stupid plan. If Taxilla was that dangerous for Sushim then Bindusar should have plotted out a better plan to ensure Ashok's safety. I really hate the way the show is portraying him right now.

As for surprises wait and see. Hope you like what I am going to show in the next few chapters.πŸ˜†

As for Ashok's friends I will integrate them into the story eventually. They have their own character arcs.

There is also a forgotten character I am planning to redeem in this track.πŸ˜›


And u have captured my attention again. Who is it??? Plz tell. Which character? Redeem, that means the character went astray, in negative track. So that leaves villains right. But all the villains portrayed are right vamps. They all are greedy and selfish. Seriously whom are you going to redeem???????
Posted: 8 years ago
Originally posted by mistofshadows


 

And u have captured my attention again. Who is it??? Plz tell. Which character? Redeem, that means the character went astray, in negative track. So that leaves villains right. But all the villains portrayed are right vamps. They all are greedy and selfish. Seriously whom are you going to redeem???????

I can only give you one clue. This character had helped the Rajmata once. πŸ˜›

Sorry if that is not helpful. You will have to wait.  πŸ˜†
Edited by babur1527 - 8 years ago
Posted: 8 years ago
Chapter 6(The Mole): https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/post/130134243 (page 11)

Sorry for the delay guys. The earthquake distracted me for a while. Had a tough time writing this chapter.




Chapter 7: The Rescue

Ashok swiftly moved towards the front of his cavalry contingent. Kulbhushan was being brought forward by a steward. Ashok paused as his eyes fell on the familiar figure. He could recognize the frail and hunched over shoulders anywhere.

"Balgovind?" Ashok asked astonished. Balgovind was his first mitra in Patliputra. Memories of the adventures they had when he was just a steward came back. However, since his admission to the royal academy he never saw him again. He tried to look for him and free him from captivity after he became Maha Yoddha. But at the time the head steward told him that he had left after he bought his own freedom.

So why is he here now?

Ashok walked up to his horse. Balgovind was avoiding his eyes.

"Mitra?" Ashok said softly. Balgovind flinched.

"Your highness. Your men are ready." Senayak Aadarsh said pulling his own horse next to Ashok's. Ashok gave Aadarsh a nod and then mounted Kulbhushan.

"We have a lot to talk about Balgovind." Ashok said quietly. "It has been a while Mitra."

Balgovind said nothing. Ashok looked at him nonplussed. He then grabbed the reins and shouted.

"Alright men. Forward!"

Kulbushan exploded ahead as the cavalry of Magadh tried to keep up with their Prince. Ashok felt the adrenaline rushing through his body as his thoughts focused towards the matter at hand.

We need to save as many people as possible.

In the city of Assandh.

The soldiers of Assandh were barely holding off the siege. At first they assumed that it was just a rag-tag band of raiders. But from the tactical discipline, the strength of the siege units, it seemed like they were here to capture the city. Who were they? They carried banners which flew black flags with knives embedded in the emblem.

Assandh was not a city that was well versed with warfare. The city only maintained a small retinue of soldiers that were good enough to deal with the raiders. For large scale warfare they depended on the Kingdoms around them for protection. Taxilla in the North, Ujjain in the South, Magadh in the East.

Sena Mukhya Dhimant, the leader of the city guards, was at a loss at what to do. He had heard that the Magadh army from the capital had camped somewhere around here. But they seem to be nowhere around.

"Mukhya Ji!" A soldier howled. His voice overtaken by panic. "The gates have been breached." Dhimant felt dread take over his body. He heard the bloodcurdling cheers of the besieging army. Dhimant looked down to see the battering ram shattering the gates. His men were fighting tooth and nail to stop them from advancing.

"Rally the men." Dhimant said his voice stronger than he expected it to be. "Shore the gates. We need to stop them."

Dhimant drew his sword. He quickly descending the steps from the keep. The archers rallying around him. Samrat Bindusar, why have you forsaken us?

Senanayak Shunga was looking on gleefully from a distance. He has been waiting for this moment for years. To reclaim the seat of his forefathers. Mahanayak Keechak had given him a blessed opportunity.

"Senanayak Shunga," A soldier to next to him said, "Their gates have been broken."

"Prepare the sacking party." Shunga ordered, "Move the siege engines. Once our soldiers are able to get in, kill anyone who resists."

The soldier bowed and left. As the soldier gave the signal to the men near the gates to carry out his orders Shunga looked on as his archers shot their flaming arrows at the defenders trying to repair the breach. His Ashraviu then charged in and mauled through those defenders. The archway to the city was wide open.

To anyone observing the battle, the sacking of the city was inevitable.

Shunga bared his teeth as the Yunani siege engines moved towards the walls. The Assandhi soldiers have abandoned their posts. Victory was within reach.

A trail of rising dust in the distance caught Shunga's eyes. He turned towards it and tried to see more clearly. As the trail of dust neared Shunga felt his joy dissolve into fear.

Shunga's eyes widened in shock as he saw the red banners emblazoned with the golden lion.

'Wasn't the Magadh army supposed to go by sea?' Shunga thought apprehensively. 'Mahanayak had told us not to worry about them interfering.'

As the Magadh cavalry came nearer he saw it. The sword at the hand of the one  leading the charge. The glare of the blade was as frightening as the legends described it to be. Undoubtedly it was the sword of Chandragupt Maurya.

"No way..." Shunga stuttered his mouth gaping. His Agni Astra Sena were vulnerable.

"Signal our Sena to pull back!" Shunga shouted "The Magadh cavalry is here!"

But it was too late.

Ashok was urging Kulbhushan to charge faster. His eyes were on the battering Ram right on the edge of the archway. Ashok looked towards the burning and bloodied bodies of the guards who died defending the town. A morbid scene that brought back the image of the burned visage of Acharya Chanakya. Ashok tightened the grip on his sword.

"Soldiers of Magadh! Take out all their siege engines!" He bellowed. The Magadh Ashraviu roared as they charged forward with their Prince. They separated into groups going straight for the siege weapons and the archers.

Ashok's group charged towards the battering ram. Ashok raised his sword as a soldier charged forward. And in an instant the soldier's head was cleaved off his neck.

Ashok raised his sword again as he heard the clang of swords, the breaking of shields, the noise of blades and arrows piercing flesh and death shrieks as the Magadh Ashwa smashed through the besieging army.

Ashok swung his sword with ferocity as he charged through the ranks of retreating archers. Memories of the Lakshagraha siege flashing before his eyes. That was the first time he voluntarily killed people. Back then Ashok was haunted by the guilty conscience of the lives he took.

But now Ashok felt nothing but rage.

The skies were darkened by the clouds, reflecting the storm in Ashok's mind. Ashok's sword had turned red with blood.

It wasn't long before Ashok stood at the archway with his cavalry rallying around him. They had utterly destroyed the Agni Astra Sena.

They now stood facing the Cavalry and the Infantry of the enemy. Whose eyes had a mixture of apprehension and rage.

"You Magadh scum!" One of them shouted. "How dare you!"

Ashok remembered the dead soldiers and villagers that were strewn on the path to the city. He felt his blood boiling, the veins on his hands were pulsing. How dare we?!

"AKRAMAN!" Ashok roared charging forward. The Magadh cavalry followed their Prince with equally terrifying roars.

The Taxillian army were not able to execute a proper formation. Ashok's cavalry commander Aadarsh gave the signal and the Magadh Ashraviu lined up into an eagle formation as they charged towards their disoriented enemy. Ashok's blade was once again the first to strike the enemy. With one swift lash Ashok cut through a soldier's spear and killed his adversary instantly. Ashok maneuvered Kulbhushan avoiding the thrusts from the enemy spears and charged into the gaps of the enemy formation. It was so reckless and unexpected the enemy Sena were caught off guard. Before they could close the gap the Magadh cavalry followed their Rajkumar hacking through the enemy.


"Dhimant ji, are you okay?" A soldier asked their disoriented leader. His head was pouring with blood.

"I will be fine..."he muttered, "What is going on?"

"The Magadh Sena has arrived."

Dhimant snapped his eyes trying to focus. He stood up and looked towards the breached gates.

And surely enough. He could see the Magadh cavalry crushing the besieging army. They were ruthlessly killing every one of them. Dhimant sighed with relief. Thank God.

Dhimant's hazy vison caught something that surprised him.  The leader of the Sena was just a youth. And what surprised him even more was that the youth was wielding the sword of Chandragupt Maurya.

So that is Rajkumar Ashok...


Shunga mounted his horse. He had no choice but to order a retreat. He needed to save his army. Or whatever was left of it. The charge of the Magadh cavalry was devastating. Their ferocity sent a chill in Shunga's spine.

"Damned Magadh scum. Curse them." Shunga then whipped his rein. He galloped ahead of his retreating soldiers. He hoped the Mahanayak spares him for this setback.

Ashok dismounted from his horse. Dead bodies were strewn all around him. He took heavy breaths to calm himself.

"Rajkumar Ashok."

He turned to see it was Aadarsh. Behind him the Magadh Sena were standing around the enemy soldiers who were on their knees. 

"These men surrendered to us. What shall we do?"

"Shackle them up and hand them over to the Assandhi guards. For now get everyone to gather the bodies and clean up the city." Ashok said quietly. Remembering what his father did after the siege of Patliputra.

"As you command my liege." Aadarsh bowed.

"Have the rest of my Sena arrived?" Ashok asked looking up towards the sky. He could see the lightning as the clouds clashed with one another.

"They are almost here." Aadarsh replied. Aadarsh handed him a cloth. Ashok took if and wiped the blood from his sword.

"I need to meet the Sena Mukhya. Where is he?"

"Rajkumar." An Aasandhi soldier bowed before him.

"Mukhya Dhimant is being treated by the Vaid Raj. He will meet you shortly."

Ashok nodded. He sheathed his sword and then walked towards the gates. Or what used to be the gates. Aadarsh was next to him.

How much blood do I need to shed?

Ashok knew the answer. Acharya Chanakya had made him aware of the reasons well enough. Blood will always have to be shed. It was the Niyati of this world. The throne of Magadh will always attract the corrupt and greedy. Such was the nature of power. It brought out the darkness in the hearts of those who craved it. Ashok wondered whether he too will succumb to the darkness.

As his Sena halted before him the rain had started pouring.

"We should set up the tents." Aadarsh said as the Senyanaks and Senapati Sudheshan hovered with their horses before them.

"Rajkumar Ashok," the elderly Senanayak spoke up. "I must request you and Senapati Sudheshan to go to the palace. We will set up camp outside."

"No Bhim ji." Ashok replied firmly. "I will be with you guys. I am your leader in all situations. Sudheshan ji you go inside and meet with Mukhya Dhimant. I will meet him tomorrow morning."

"But-"

"No ifs or buts," Ashok replied walking towards the supply carriages. "Consider this my aadesh. As long as we will fight under the same banner, we will eat from the same plate and we will sleep under the same roof."

The Senanayaks looked at one another surprised. Senapati Sudheshan scoffed.

"Bloody rag Prince." He muttered as he trotted away with his horse. Sudheshan detested mingling with the commoners. He was a Kshatriya by birth. He deserved to have his God-given privileges. And it was clear that if Ashok became Samrat he will be deprived of them. He hoped his letter had reached the Mahamatya.

Ashok ordered the attendants to get into the palace as well. He looked around for Balgovind but he was nowhere to be seen.

The winds picked up as the Magadh Sena tried to set up their tents. The storm was growing.

"We can't set up the pegs to hold the tent." A soldier cried over the wind. Indeed the muddy ground was making it difficult to nail the pegs to the ground.

Ashok looked to the forest in the distance. It would have been easier to set up the tents there. But with the growing storm it was too dangerous right now to take his army there. Broken trees could fly at them. And the heavy chariots could not be pushed through the muddy ground. The Magadh chariots were very large. Each of them required 8 men to operate with maximum efficiency. And 6 horses to drive them. And that was through plain terrain on a dry day. But now...

These heavy chariots have become a burden for us...

Ashok looked towards the chariots and then the spears of the Magadh Sena. He suddenly had an idea.

"Aadarsh! Bhim ji!" Ashok shouted through winds whistling wind. "Fasten the tent ropes to the heavy chariots and spears!"

"What?" They shouted back. Ashok dug his feet into the ground and stomped towards them.

"Fasten the tent ropes to the Chariots and spears!" He shouted as he got closer. The Senyanaks look delighted.

"Ingenius Rajkumar Ashok!" One of them said with a sigh of relief.

"Indeed." Bhim ji seconded. "Get the chariots men!"

Ashok and his Senayaks worked through the storm and through great effort they managed to set up all the tents.

Ashok saw the last of his Sena getting into the tent before going into his own. His Senanayaks were waiting for him.

"This was a brilliant idea Rajkumar Ashok." One of the younger Senanayak's spoke.

"You flatter me too much Senanayak Saroj."

Outside the swaying tents, the wind was roaring. But Ashok and his Sena felt adequately sheltered.

"What about food though?" one of the Senanayaks asked.

"There should be some bread in the baskets. They are going to be soggy. But we need to make do with that for now." Bhim ji said apologetically.

"It's alright Bhim ji." Ashok replied. "Soggy breads are a small price to pay for the victory today."

The Senanayaks murmured in agreement. They quietly ate their morsel knowing that it was going to be many long nights in the  months ahead.

Ashok looked outside. It was difficult to decipher anything through the storm. He remembered the nights he spent with his mother in the forest. It used to frighten him back then. But the warm embrace of his mother always calmed him down.

I miss her so much already.

Ashok shook his head. He will have to toughen up. This was just one of the many storms they will have to weather before this campaign was over.

Leave your thoughts below. Hope you enjoyed it.

Chapter 8: https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/post/130673196

Edited by babur1527 - 7 years ago
Posted: 8 years ago
Brilliant πŸ‘

Awesome update.
And you know I guessed right. Yippe for me!
After your hint I went back and scrounged through every written update and came up with two characters - BalGovind and that man who gave Helena the Scorpion and ultimately I felt BalGovind was it. I am right!!!!!!!!!!!
And this  brings the friend angle too hopefully.
Finally Battle!
I love battles you know. Live for these scenes whenever I read history.
I enjoyed it immensely though I wish you had been more detailed. I love the more I get to read...guilty pleasure you see😳

I am waiting for the next and am the first todayπŸ˜›
Edited by mistofshadows - 8 years ago

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