Arshi FF: Destined To Love #2 LINK TO#3 Pg151 - Page 4

Chapter 15

Without bothering to look back khushi walked away from his door step. Descending down slowly she reached the entrance of the house. The idol of Lord Ganpati was to her left, she gazed at it and let out a weak smile. He was someone who'd observed storms hitting her life and leaving her destroyed and devastated, yet he preferred to remain a silent spectator. He was doing the same even today! If He chose to do nothing then even she chose not to complain.

Pulling the umbrella open she slowly approached the car, it was rainy and windy, the end of her sari flew behind her, making her push backwards, as if someone or something was trying to hold her back. She stopped and turned to look, no, there was no one to stop her and why would anybody or that somebody stop her? lifting her face up she glanced at his bedroom window...it was shut. She smirked and opened the door of the car, raising her foot to step inside, a hopeless desire swept within her, he couldn't stop her but at least he could have come down to see her off, was it too much to expect from him?

He heard the loud noise of the engine roaring outside, the car started, its doors banged shut and then the sound of the car became weak as it left the premises. Looking out of closed windows he saw it leaving, his eyes attempted to follow it as long as they could. Finally it was out of his sight...so was she.

He closed his eyes, her tear stricken face, her soft and hopeful eyes flashed before his...

" I'm going." is all that reverberated in his ears.

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It was dark out, the sun had been forcefully hidden by the veil of clouds. The car glided down the empty streets as people preferred to stay home in the rain. Shalini sighed and looked out of the window, rain drops swirled down from the grey sky, littering both sides of the road.

The rain was unexpected and uncalled for, quite like the events that had changed suddenly, compelling her to take this hasty decision. But then she had no other option, she'd go ahead with this as things were threatening to slip from her hands.

Arnav had just started to bond with the child, she could see happiness brimming in his eyes after a very long time however this one step of hers had left him empty handed and lonely once again. If she was feeling guilty she wouldn't admit it for sure instead thought of taking solace from the fact that from now on he'd be extremely busy with the shopping complex project and building a high school structure in ratnagiri amidst all this where would he get the time to miss the baby and even if he did then Mahabaleshawr was not far away from ratnagiri, it was a two hours drive hence he could always come down easily whenever he wished to meet her or see the baby.

She wasn't a sadist, she didn't derive pleasure by seeing him in pain, how could she? After all he was her husband and meant a lot to him, he only had her in his life and she wished to keep it that way.

Ever since they had got married he had given her a free hand in leading her life, same was with her. They both gave each other breathing space in their relationship, just that he gave her more than he got in return from her. She'd always been an ambitious woman hence took active part in all his activities that didn't involve blood shed, if things had gone her way she wouldn't stop herself from entering into his world of crime as well but then he strictly kept her away from this dark world. However still she always kept a tab on what he did and didn't. Her involvement was restricted to only those projects that were meant for the development of ratnagiri, hence without complaining for years she devoted her time and energy in making ratnagiri a better place.

Deep down she was of the opinion that all this would definitely help her and her father in attaining their political goals, but this shopping complex endeavor left her mouth watering for the money that they could make out of it. Smiling to herself she leaned her head against the window as her heart filled with contentment, soon she'd accomplish even this milestone.

She glanced down, khushi was sleeping on her lap, the journey though not long but thanks to the constant rain was beginning to get tiring for khushi as the car moved slowly and consciously plus her back was also hurting thus the best idea was to sleep through this drive.

Shalini observed khushi's slow and rhythmic breathing, as a matter of fact she didn't have serious issues with the person lying her head on her thighs just that she was starting to get slightly big for her boots. She was here to give them a baby and that she was doing quite well but slowly and steadily she was expanding her hands and venturing into those territories that were clearly not meant for her. Continuous and needless intervention on khushi's part was beginning to annoy her and at the same time was threatening to hamper her plans, hence she'd to be shifted from ratnagiri and its ongoing activities so that her wavering mind concentrated on only one thing...the life that was growing inside her.

Gazing out of the window shalini spotted the moon beginning to peek through the cloud cover, its soft light streamed through the sky as it finally stopped raining. The cool breeze made its way through open window making khushi shiver slightly. Shalini immediately rolled up the window and pulled the shawl which hung around her shoulders to cover khushi securely.

Resting her head behind shalini closed her eyes, she always wished that arnav and khushi shared a cordial relationship, it was important for khushi to go through this period of pregnancy without taking any stress, if their relationship strained then it would definitely affect her health and that would not be good for the baby, also once the baby came into this world it would be easy for him to accept and bond with the new entrant. This baby was shalini's life and she didn't wish it to be deprived of anything, not even father's love...but but but, being cordial was one thing and getting influenced was another. The recent developments between arnav and khushi showed that her husband was not only getting comfortable with khushi but was also getting influenced by what she thought and said, his intention to build a college instead of the shopping complex was a clear example of how khushi was beginning to captivate his mind and decisions, something which only she did till now. Exercising control over things and people around was a necessity for her, she thrived and survived by being in command. She was the most important and the only person in his life and would do anything to remain like that.

Glancing at her well manicured fingers, shalini flexed them slowly and smirked inwardly, khushi's presence in ratnagiri was posing a threat to her personal goals and her growing influence on arnav was disrupting her professional ventures but now everything was all right, she could afford to relax.

The driver applied the brakes suddenly bringing khushi out of her slumber, she sat up slowly and looked around, squeezing her eyes shut she was trying hard to doze off but couldn't, the images of RM and his in particular were not leaving her mind, she was attempting to block them but was failing miserably. Letting out an audible sigh her eyes fell on the shawl, if she remembered correctly she wasn't carrying it, she shot a puzzled look to her companion in the car, who in turn smiled back at her reassuringly to keep the shawl.

" You're okay ?" shalini asked warmly.

Khushi nodded silently then turned her neck to look outside the window and thought, although she had to leave ratnagiri abruptly and suddenly still she was...fine, he didn't protest neither attempted to stop her still she was...fine, not to forget he didn't bother to have a word with her before she left on the contrary showed her his back still she was...fine, lastly her insane eyes were expecting and waiting desperately for him to at least come down and see her off but he didn't care to show up still she was...fine, these whole turn of events were making her feel hollow, empty and restless still she was...fine, yeah she was FINE! In fact she couldn't be better!

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At last they reached their destination, their new house. The car stopped outside a single storey structure, it had a lush green lawn quite similar to the one in RM. The driver busied himself in taking out the luggage as shalini rang the doorbell. A middle aged woman wearing a brown sari with golden border, hair pulled up in a bun and a thin black chain dangling around her neck opened the door for them. Folding both her hands together she welcomed them inside the house.

" Khushi, meet laxmi mausi ." Shalini said while introducing the new housekeeper to khushi who snuggled deeper into the shawl

" shall I get you some tea?" laxmi asked with a smile adorning her face. Hearing about tea, khushi's face lit up instantly and was about to say yes when shalini intervened," yeah tea for me...and khushi will have .." this time khushi didn't allow her to finish, before shalini ordered another glass of milk for her she refused flatly," di..no milk for me."

khushi and her tantrums, shalini rolled her eyes and ordered," okay fine. Get her vegetable soup instead."

laxmi amused at the scene before her, shook her head and went to the kitchen to do the needful. There were two rooms in the house, one was close to the kitchen and the other one was at the end of the dining hall. Glancing towards khushi, shalini asked," which one do you want ?" khushi's eyes widened in surprise, she was giving her a choice? Shrugging her shoulders khushi replied," you decide."

It hardly mattered to her.

shalini went to inspect the rooms and khushi took this time to explore the new house. The place was big by anyone's standards, white and black checkered tiles lay across the floor. To her left was a wooden staircase probably leading to the terrace. To her right was the sitting area, there was also a small fire place, exactly opposite to it there was a big LCD fixed on the wall. Shifting her gaze on the walls she found that they were milky white giving space to a number of abstract paintings. She was studying them carefully when shalini called her from behind.

" khushi you take the one close to the kitchen. You would need to move around less."

laxmi came out of the kitchen with hot tea and soup, taking the bowl from her, khushi proceeded towards her room while laxmi followed her behind with her baggage. Keeping the suitcase on the bed laxmi began unpacking while khushi sat on a rocking chair slurping on the hot soup.

"which month?" khushi's head shot up immediately and her hand went to her belly, was it beginning to show up so clearly? She'd covered it securely with the shawl but still was it that apparent? Noticing her bewildered expressions laxmi grinned before dispelling her doubts," I have a daughter of your age...such things can't be hidden from a mother."

" fourth." khushi replied while taking another spoonful of soup.

" she's your sister?" laxmi asked eyeing outside the room where shalini was. khushi shook her head instantly and answered," no shalini di, isn't my sister but I stay with her and Arnav ji."

laxmi who was adjusting the saris on the hangers stopped on hearing 'arnav ji' and frowned before blurting," arnav ji?" khushi gulped the lump formed in her throat and lowered her head while replying softly," arnav ji ...di's husband." She muttered the last words quickly. Now khushi's replies instead of clearing laxmi's mind were confusing it all the more. The inquisitive housekeeper couldn't stop herself from prodding further.

" you don't live with your husband ?" instead of keeping herself away from the matter which was not at all related to laxmi ,she was delving deeper inside unaware that her pokey behavior was making khushi highly uncomfortable and she was finding it hard to dodge the questions that were being thrown at her.

The lady arranging her clothes was elder enough to be her mother, she couldn't even be rude to her. Unable to figure out what and how to answer, her eyes scattered the floor for sometime before replying dryly," I don't have a husband." Her voice was no louder than a whisper.

laxmi opened and closed her mouth in disbelief, her gaze travelled to khushi's forehead, the parting was empty, it slowly dropped down to her neck which was also bare, not wanting to believe that this young soon to be mother had already lost her husband she asked in a pained voice," you mean ..."

" mausi get the dinner ready ..i'll unpack for her." For the first time khushi thanked her stars on seeing shalini making an entry at the right time. Dropping the clothes on the bed, shalini narrowed her eyes as laxmi walked past her. These low class middle aged women and their interfering nature, couldn't they just mind their own bloody business? Flaring her nostrils shalini wondered, wasn't one prying, nosy and curious khushi enough that now she had to handle two of them here? She took a deep breath to cool her rising temper and then moved towards the wardrobe to arrange it when khushi intervened," di, I'll do it." Nodding her head shalini said," but first eat."

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Dinner was a silent affair, the noise of the cutlery and that too from shalini's end was attempting to rip apart this heavy silence. khushi glanced at the wall clock, it was eight, he mustn't be home by now. Her eyes wandered over the empty dining chairs before stopping on the chair on which he used to sit. Here it was unoccupied and would probably always remain so. Sharing a glass of milk with ladoos while he had dinner had become her or their daily routine. She didn't know the reason but her heart used to fill up with joy on seeing him relish the food cooked by her. She missed seeing that contentment and satisfaction splashed across his face. Her eyes softened on thinking back at the time they spent together at the dining table though very few words used to be exchanged still those moments were different, they were...special.

" khushi ..food is getting cold." Shalini's words brought her out of her reminiscence. She gazed at shalini's plate, it was empty, she rolled her eyes thinking, shalini, his wife was least bothered about him, she'd already filled her tummy and she who was his nobody was unnecessarily worrying and thinking about him. When his wife did't care about him, then why should she keep herself starving? With that thought she began nibbling on her food, its taste reminded her of her mother, it was nice, far better than what cooks at RM prepared. Poor him, he would have to bear with them in her absence, dropping the spoon with a thud she cursed her wavering mind that was drifting towards him again.

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Her old long skirts and blouses along with the huge make up kit were no more required hence found a place for themselves in a large drawer, away from her eyes. The radio set found itself sitting on the bedside table along with a small alarm clock. It was only nine and she was done with her unpacking. Shalini before retiring to bed came to the room to ensure that Khushi didn't need anything.

" I've told mausi, she'll sleep here on the floor." Keeping khushi's health in mind, shalini felt that the idea of khushi sleeping all alone was not a wise one.

" I'm not a child. I can sleep alonne" Once again shalini's idea didn't go down well with khushi and she like always protested, forgetting that shalini always had her way out.

" how does it matter? Moreover mausi is here to take care of you." Shalini said pressing khushi's shoulder lightly bringing the uncalled for discussion to an end.

Huffing, khushi moved to her bed and pulled the blanket up to her shoulders and shut her eyes tightly. Shalini switched off the light and left the room.

khushi tossed and turned on the bed several times, she dug her face deep into the pillow to sleep but it wasn't helping. Maybe the new room and the new bed were to be blamed for depriving her off her sleep but then on second thoughts when did she need a specific bed to sleep on? In the past three years she'd spent her nights on different beds in different rooms. Beds played a slightly varying role in her life. She didn't sleep or dream on them instead quenched the hunger of men who accompanied her in those beds. Hence a new bed was not the reason for her not being able to sleep, the actual reason was different but what?

She peeked her head out of the blanket and stared at the watch, it was ten and she didn't sleep before twelve. He usually came back between ten and eleven. Sighing deeply she pushed the blanket aside and looked down at the floor where laxmi was happily sleeping and not to forget snoring as well. The way laxmi was sleeping reminded khushi of somebody. Resting on her tummy the old worn out blanket had been drawn up to cover her back. One side of her face was buried into the pillowi as she slept facing khushi. Her mouth was parted slightly and jutted out. Few strands fell across her face, flying away periodically in time to the cyclical rhythm of her snoring. Yes now it struck khushi, the sleeping figure reminded her of her late mother, even she used to snore like this keeping her pouted lips open. She remembered once as a naughty child she'd dropped a small piece of ladoo in her mother's mouth when she was snoring nonstop. The sound of her snores grew louder as the piece of sweet rolled inside her mouth. A weak smile tugged the corners of khushi's lips and her eyes filled up slightly on recalling her innocent yet mischievous childhood.

Pushing the blanket this time completely off her she lowered her legs to leave the bed. She moved towards the rocking chair and dragged it slowly to the nearby window ensuring that it didn't make much noise. Sitting on it, she drew her knees close to her chest and gazed out of the window. As if in slow motion a raindrop fell from the dark swirling skies, followed by another and the other. The rain pitter -pattered down from the heavens, at first a light shower eventually it once again started pouring heavily. Resting her head back she listened to the music that nature was playing. Her moving out of RM though was shocking and unexpected but then it hat to happen one day, she wasn't supposed to stay there and around him forever. In a way it was good because with each passing day she was only beginning to get emotionally attached and that would not help her later on...she was beginning to lose focus, which was not right for her. She needed this jolt to wake up from her day dreaming. Till the time she was in RM her mind and heart used to be at loggerheads. She used to find herself trapped in a whirlpool of emotions and feelings that never allowed her to rest in peace. A trap that her heart loved to be captivated into and mind struggled hard to come out of. The constant battle between the two would only make her restless and confused. But now she was miles away and hoped that this distance would eventually help her to detach from everything that bothered her.

Dropping her eye lids she slowly inhaled the sweet smell of wet earth that floated in the air. His dark pools stared back at her, the pain in them twisted her heart and for a moment she felt as if they wanted to say something to her, but what? Clutching the arms of the chair firmly she snapped her eyes open, she had to decipher her thoughts and feelings correctly. What and why she actually felt for him, she desired to know. She needed answers, her mind needed them desperately because her heart... already had them. Now that she was away from him, her mind would attempt to rule her rebellious heart that was bubbling with those emotions and feelings which clearly had no place in her life. That's what her mind wished to achieve unaware what the future held for her, what if her practical mind succumbed to her heart? Anything could happen during this time. But one thing could not be denied that this was a big turning point in her life. Where life would actually take her, needed to be seen!

Thanks for reading

Rose