So sorry guys. I know that I'm hell late! Will give more updates today. In this chapter, we're going to see witness more of Manik's inner thoughts. ;)
~ CHAPTER FIFTY-SEVEN ~
Manik was in a fix. He felt restless and burdened as he helplessly watched Nandini settle down at her workstation with an "I don't give a f**k" attitude. Though he had wished to undo the damage with a simple sorry, he knew that it was practically impossible. However, he genuinely wanted to sort it out. He had hurt many people in the past with his outrageous behaviour, but it was probably the first time he had crossed all limits. And that too with a girl. And a delicate one. Small and delicate enough to fit perfectly into his protective, towering frame. But did I really protect? No... And was she delicate as she seemed to be? Deep down, he could see that compared to himself, she was tough. He wasn't exactly tough, but she was. He was a hurt and broken soul that took refuge behind a monster. But not her. She was one who had been broken many times in the past and yet she picked up her pieces and braved it all with an undying spirit. She was strong. Even now she flexed some hell of a muscle.
He drew a deep breath and crumpled onto his chair as he fixed his weak stare on the computer screen. Ever since Nandini came into his life, it had been one hell of a ride. It was a roller coaster of emotions from surprise to embarrassment... to pain to anger... to frustration to anxiety... to helplessness to... depression. All what he wanted was to hire the clumsy receptionist girl as his assistant. To help him out with his mammoth of a job. After all, she knew the basics of the role. And she seemed reliable. But she had a ton of uncalled shockers in store for him.
Firstly, she stunned the living daylights out of him by announcing to the whole world about her massive crush on the Greek god aka Manik Malhotra. Though he was shocked out of his wits at first, he found it amusing later on, shrugged it off and decided to go ahead with his plans of hiring her. After all, it wasn't the first time that he had come across a girl going bonkers over his looks. He got that a lot. A LOT! Talking about looks, she isn't that bad either. She is beautiful. Inside out.
Secondly, she flumped down onto his limited access areas and broke through the first few but tough layers of his so-called confidence. He shrugged it off again. She was probably nervous. Happens. It's okay.
Thirdly, she hard-boiled his meat to an embarrassing level and broke through the next few layers and pissed him off in the process. How can anyone be that clumsy? Impossible! And the shit that I had to go through to pacify that wildebeest Hashmi!!? The monster nearly popped my eyes out with his temper. Besides covering up the embarrassing coffee spill incident, he had also covered up for Nandini that day with the "falling in the puddle and screwed the cheques" lie but it didn't help much. At least he had managed to save her from Hashmi's wrath. Did I actually try to protect her that day? Somewhere deep down, he knew that he didn't really want her to helplessly lock horns with other departmental staff. They could be real nasty if rubbed the wrong way, especially guys like Trilok and Hashmi. And she probably wouldn't be able to stand up to them. He however, was used to handling them.
Fourthly, he had accidentally smacked her down at the doorway and got her hurt. Though he displayed no signs of remorse in front of his colleagues, he reminded himself of how he had called her to his cabin under the pretence of the cheques issue just to take several quick but secretive glances at her bruised forehead. Just to make sure that she wasn't too hurt. That she was okay. Do I actually care for her? But why? I've also tried to hurt her... emotionally. Maybe not physically... And coming to the sodden cheques issue, when he had assigned the herculean task of redoing the entire thing from scratch, he didn't really think that she would make it but she did. And he was impressed. Period! And even when he had meted out the next to impossible task of filing Dhruv's mountain of documents, he never expected her to accomplish that as well. But she did. Of course, he knew that she had help. But still... he was completely bowled over. I could have appreciated her... at least once... genuinely... but...
Fifthly... that mishap at the mall. The very thought of their first accidental kiss got a warm uneasy feeling spread over his lips. And the next thing that came to mind was the Chinese lanterns dream. That reminded him again... Google!
Manik got to his keyboard with a new found purpose. He googled his most pressing issue... "How to apologize for misbehaviour".
Lo! Results galore! But nothing that answered his disturbing questions or lightened his load. Most of them were meant for students who wanted to apologize to a teacher for misbehaving in class. Jeez! Maybe I'm keying in the wrong words. He goes at it again.
"How to get someone to accept your apology..."
More results again. One of which went like this...
REMEMBER... The TOES You Step On Today May Be Attached To The ASS You Will Have To Kiss Tomorrow.
Manik couldn't help but realize how true this was considering the current scenario. This time... there was one result that stood out from the rest.
Any good apology has three parts:
1) I'm sorry
2) It's my fault and...
3) What can I do to make it right?
... Most people forget the third part.
A startling revelation it was! Manik's mind was spinning now. Most people forget the third part. I've forgotten even the second part... I've only tried to justify myself, which was so wrong. I need to set things right. I need to have a plan.
Like a core HR guy, Manik pulled out his notepad and began to jot down the "issues" that needed to be sorted out.
1) I hurt her with my rude comments about her family.
2) I was really brash with her after my suspension. I tried to assault her in the stairwell. I kissed her... I threatened her... frightened her... humiliated her... and sent her into a fit.
3) I am responsible for her dog's untimely death.
4) ...
Manik rapped the tip of his pen on the notepad as he pondered over all the shitty things he'd said and done to her... and this made him feel more and more disgusted with himself.
Coming to think of it... I need another list for Dhruv... for Mukti... for Cabir... I've hurt them too many times... I need to set it straight... but I'll start with Nandini first... I've hurt her the most... I must... at least make her smile... make her feel good... but how?
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