Arshi FF: Love Me Forever # 3 Last chpg 41 NEW FF LINK pg53 - Page 12

Chapter 24

Both of them rushed daadi to the hospital, she was straightaway admitted in the ICU. He paced up and down the corridor anxiously, his grandmother must have heard everything, angry with himself he closed his eyes tightly and moved his hand back through his hair in tension. She creased her forehead seeing him worried, he must be going through hell she thought and went close to him to ask," arnav ji, should I call anjali di and payal?" he shook his head in negation, there was no need to inform the sisters, it was already quite late, he would tell them in the morning, he took out his cell to call aman," you go back home with aman. I'll handle everything here."

She stopped him from calling, she wouldn't go back with aman without him, she too would stay back. He stared back at her for not listening to him but she was adamant on not leaving him alone, she pulled his arm and made him sit on the waiting chair.

He leaned back and rested his head on the wall behind, he couldn't stop thinking about daadi, she had loved him like his real mother would have had she been alive, he remembered his childhood when she fed him with her hands, when he got hurt she was there to attend his wounds, he slept soundly on her lap forgetting everything and everybody around him. When he came to know the real faces of his sisters she was the one who stood by him against her granddaughters supporting him.

After which he distanced himself from his family, became aloof and recluse but she still loved him the same, he became quiet and didn't interact with her much but she knew what he was going through, she could read his eyes, the pain, the hurt, the loneliness didn't go unnoticed by her. When lavanya broke his heart and left him, he once again found solace in her arms and peace by sleeping on her lap, not many words were exchanged between them but her act of brushing her fingers through his hair relieved him off all his tensions.

Ever since she had fallen ill he was by her side, did everything possible to comfort her, didn't wish to lose her at any cost in fact one of the reasons behind his getting married was that she wanted him to settle down in life. All he wanted was to give her happiness but today he had given her the biggest grief possible. He clenched his jaws and curled his fingers in a tight fist cursing himself for being so horrible.

Khushi noticed his distressed expressions and pressed his arm lightly, he opened his eyes which had tears in them to look at her, his voice quivered as he spoke," if something happens to daadi.." she shook her head ," she'll fine soon. Trust me."

The doctor came out of the ICU both of them stood up to inquire about her health, the doctor informed them that daadi's kidneys were already not functioning well, she was on dialysis and now her blood pressure had shot up tremendously because of which she suffered a heart stroke. They were trying to bring down her blood pressure and after which she would have to undergo bypass surgery.

He collapsed on the chair and held his head in his hands, what could be more terrible than this? The fear of losing her shook him completely.

He heard Khushi say," arnav ji, please don't lose hope. Have faith in devi maiya. Daadi ji will be alright." He lifted his head as she pointed towards devi maiyas idol in front of them, he gazed at it for a second then replied," nothing will be alright. Your devi maiya is punishing me."

She knitted her brows in confusion. He continued further," I tried to snatch away a child from her mother. I know I'll have to pay for it?" he had thought of committing the sinful act of separating his child from his mother, how could he not be punished for it.

Tears welled up in her eyes hearing this. She wanted to tell him not to blame himself for all this but words didn't escape from her mouth, she simply entwined her fingers with his. He pursed his lips in disgust, he had failed as a husband, as a grandson and now as a father too. How would his child love him back on knowing that he took away his mother from him as soon as he was born? and Why? because his father had lost faith in relationships?

Just because his father had been betrayed by people around him for that he was thinking of punishing him and his mother? Were they really at fault? If he dared to dream about a child on whom he could shower all his love then why did he make his mother pay the price for it?

He turned his neck to look at her, she was gazing the floor with her eyes downcast, for the first time he managed to feel the pain she must be going through in parting with her child and that too just for his sake and happiness. A child which was growing inside her for so long, whose heart beat, whose every small little movement she could feel, that child he wanted to take away from her. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, he hated himself for being so insensitive and ignorant towards her.

Daadi wasn't his mother yet he was so deeply connected to her that today the thought of losing her broke him and his heart into pieces then what khushi must be going through? he could only wonder and curse himself.

A while later he felt some weight on his shoulder, he turned his neck one more time and found her sleeping on his shoulder, he slowly freed his hand from her firm hold then carefully placed her head on his lap and stroked her arm gently while resting his head on the wall behind.

He came out of his slumber as the hospital started buzzing around, she too straightened herself and began rubbing her eyes. They both went to visit the doctor who told them that daadi's blood pressure had come down and in a few hours from now she would undergo the heart surgery. He asked if they could meet her, the doctor allowed them to do so. He immediately rushed out of the cabin, she followed him behind but stopped at the door and said," I'll wait here."

He nodded his head and handed over his cell phone to her so that she could inform aman and everyone about daadi. He pushed the door slowly and entered quietly, various machines were attached to her to monitor her heartbeat and pulse. He pulled the stool and sat near her, she turned to look at him," daadi, how are you feeling now?"he asked softly.

She turned her neck and replied," I'm upset that I'm still alive." He narrowed his eyes in confusion, why was she talking so bitterly? He took her hand in his and said," please don't say like that." she took her hand back instantly and retorted," then what else do you expect me to say? I can believe chotte, you could marry someone only to have a baby." She shook her head in disappointment, she had never imagined that he would do something like this.

She was so happy to see him getting married, to see his family getting extended. She had thought at last he had found a true companion in Khushi who would be by his side forever, but she was so wrong, she was ashamed of him," you've disgraced me and my love for you. This is not how I brought you up...today I've fallen in my own eyes ."

He lowered his head in shame as a tear trickled down his cheek, all he wanted was to see her happy but today she didn't wish to live anymore thanks to him. When he had laid down those conditions before khushi at the time of their marriage he had not thought about the consequences of his actions, his one selfish and mindless act had ruined khushi's, his child's and now his daadi's life.

Everyone except him were suffering because of him. He covered his face with his hands in disgust and cried silently, she raised her hand to reach out to him but stopped midway. He heard the door open, stood up abruptly and went out at once.

Khushi stared at his retreating form in surprise then shifted her gaze to daadi who was gesturing her to come to her. She stood near her and saw daadi joining both her hands.

" khushi beta, if possible then please forgive me." She immediately held her hands to stop her from apologizing," no daadi ji, what are you doing?"

Daadi creased her forehead and said," I never thought chotte would stoop so low." She bit her lower lips and replied," I don't blame arnav ji, for anything ."

Daadi pursed her lips and thought chotte was never good at judging people, earlier he trusted everybody blindly which was why they took advantage of him and left him after playing with his feelings but when he decided to marry khushi she had thought for the first time he had made the right choice and the way she looked after him, the way she brought back that lost smile on his face, the way they both took care of each other only reaffirmed her belief that she was made for him.

" chotte doesn't realize how much he needs you. Don't ever desert him ..please." daadi held her hands pleading her not leave arnav, tears shimmered in khushi's eyes she didn't wish to give her false promises, she had left everything on god and her destiny, she pressed daadi's hands and said," daadi ji please don't stress yourself. You need to rest."

Worried anjali and payal too came in to inquire about her, khushi moved back to allow them to meet her then left the room silently. Daadi's eyes followed her as she went out.

Arnav was outside having a word with the doctor, she stood beside him, he turned to look at her, his eyes were red, without meeting her gaze he said," you must be hungry. Let me get you something to eat."

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The whole family waited outside the operation theatre when daadi was taken in for the bypass surgery, an endotracheal tube was inserted and secured by an anaesthetist and mechanical ventilation was started. The surgeon opened the chest and examined the heart then bypass grafts were harvested. At the end the heart was restarted and daadi was shifted back to the ICU to recover. Everyone anxiously approached the doctor when he came out, he informed that the surgery was successful and if all went well then within a weeks time she would be discharged. They all sighed in relief, arnav glanced at devi maiya's idol and let out a silent thanks. She was still under the effect of anaesthesia but anjali and payal wished to see her once even though she was asleep, the doctor allowed them, they hurriedly began walking towards the room along with aman and khushi. After taking a few steps khushi noticed that he wasn't there she stopped and looked behind, he was still standing where he was, she frowned at him and asked," aren't you coming?"

He nodded his head and replied," You guys go and meet her. In the mean time let me get the medicines."

Although She didn't seem convinced with his excuse but then thought may be he wished to meet daadi when she was awake, she went in quietly leaving him behind. A while later he walked slowly towards the room and peeped in through the glass window then before anybody could see and call him in he walked back to the doctor's cabin.

A couple of hours later daadi gained conscious and found her family surrounding her bed, she gave out a weak smile indicating that she was fine now but her eyes searched for him, he wasn't there, at least that's what she thought unaware that he was standing alone out watching her through the glass window. He didn't have the courage to face her again, he was too ashamed of himself moreover he didn't wish to disturb her by his presence.

Late in the evening he sent everybody to RM including Khushi who insisted on staying back with him but he didn't allow her, she needed proper rest and told her to come back in the morning all fresh. She left him reluctantly as he sat outside the room on the waiting chair keeping an eye on daadi.

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With each passing day daadi's health improved as she began recovering well thanks to the love and support of her family who stayed by her side throughout the days while arnav most of the time kept himself busy by discussing about her progress, went home for some time just to fresh n up then stayed during the nights alone.

Garima insisted on taking khushi along with her, he too didn't protest this time but khushi refused straightaway, she couldn't even think of leaving daadi in this condition.

It had been more than five days and he hadn't come to see her even once though she was kept updated about his whereabouts by khushii and aman but still deep down she knew he was avoiding her.

One night he was dozing off on the chair out when he suddenly heard her coughing, he rushed to her room, by the time he had reached the door step she had stopped coughing. He was closing the door and was about to leave when he heard her ask," won't you come inside?"

He thought for a second then stepped in with eyes downcast and stood near her bed. She raised her hand gesturing him to sit down, with lowered head he sat on the stool. She looked at him and asked," You're upset with me?" he shook his head, no he wasn't upset with her, how could he be?

She smiled and wondered then why was he not meeting her eyes? she said," then why isn't my chotte looking at me?"

He lifted his head slowly as his eyes moved towards her, she could see the pain and remorse in them," I know what's on your mind but I don't want you to be unfair to khushi."

She didn't know what was stopping him from accepting khushi's love when she knew that only khushi had and could make his life complete but if he still wished to live in his past then he had no right to destroy her present and future.

He too now didn't wish to seek happiness by making her sad in any manner possible, he had already disrupted her past by overlooking her feelings but now he wouldn't repeat his mistakes .

Daadi asked him hesitantly," do you still love lavanya?" he shook his head instantly, he no longer loved lavanya but was still somewhere living in his past. She heaved a sigh of relief and raised her hand to touch his head affectionately," then why did you lose your cool when khushi spoke about leaving the house?" he took her hand in his and glanced back at her, his eyes seemed so innocent and vulnerable at that point of time, the question raised of him getting upset when khushi mentioned about leaving him after child birth hit his heart straight. If this wasn't enough the next question jolted him further," will you be able to live without her?"

He pursed his lips to remain strong but couldn't stop his eyes from getting moist, for the first time he parted his lips to speak," I don't know."

He really didn't know why the conditions that he himself had laid down were now disturbing him, he had no clue whether he would be able to live without her but his daadi had all the answers, she could tell him but here telling wasn't required, self realization and acceptance on his part was needed

" if you don't know then find out. Before it's too late."

For long he was avoiding to find answers to these questions, for long he was letting his mind rule his heart and suppress his feelings, for long he was living under this confusion and blaming his past for casting a shadow on his present but then for how long could he continue doing this? He had to face reality and stop being in his illusionary world where everything happened as per his whims and fancies.

He pressed her hand softly and asked," daadi, tonight can I sleep with you?" she smiled back at him and nodded her head, in his younger years whenever he was upset or confused he used to sleep on her lap peacefully, she would brush her fingers through his hair and all his tensions used to get released, he missed doing that, he missed sharing his problems with her. He kept his head on the bed and closed his eyes as she stroked his head gently.

In the morning khushi came with aman and brought breakfast for him. He appeared a lot more relaxed and at peace today. He felt her gaze on himself and looked up from his plate, she smiled and asked him," so what did daadi ji say?" he frowned at her in surprise, how did she know that he finally had a word with daadi daadi? He didn't reply on the contrary questioned back," how do you I spoke with her?" she too didn't answer back, just continued to smile, his de-stressed eyes and less anxious face said it all.

He shook his head thinking this woman understood not only what his lips said but also what his silence said. After finishing the breakfast he went to meet the doctor and she went to see daadi. He was relieved to know that she was making good progress and would be discharged in another two days. Happy on hearing this news he came out of the cabin and headed towards daadi's room to find her refusing to have that bland vegetable soup, he chuckled on thinking that refusing khushi was not at all easy and he was right a minute later daadi was having that soup. He glanced at khushi, she always succeeded in getting her way out, she would be an excellent mother without any doubt.

Late in the evening when he was sitting with daadi, anjali and shyam came in, " tonight I'll stay with daadi. You go home." He shook his head, he was fine here and didn't mind staying back for the night.

" chotte you're here all day. Even you need rest. Don't worry anjali is here with me." It was true he was tired by staying up late and not sleeping properly but still he didn't wish to leave her side.

Seeing him not move anjali once again spoke," trust me , we'll take good care of her."

He shifted his eyes from anjali to daadi who gave out a reassuring smile that she was fine," khushi is alone at home, she needs you more. Also think about what I told you."

He nodded his head, they were right he was worrying unnecessarily, she was a lot better now and soon would get discharged. He got up to leave but paused at the door and turned back to look at her, who nodded her head up, he smiled and blinked his eyes, he would definitely think about his actual feelings towards khushi.

Slipping his hands in his pockets he left the room only to stop in the corridor, he turned his neck to the left and saw the idol of devi ma, he walked towards it, lit the lamp before leaving the hospital.