FF: Unloved (Complete) - Page 46

A week later, Rudra and Parvati completed mami-sa's last rites. The news had to be broken to everyone at the orphanage as well. There wasn't a dry eye in the house. The children were devastated by the loss. An aura of gloom hovered over them all. A day hadn't gone by when Parvati hadn't cried. Even though she stayed strong in front of the children, the minute she was alone she broke down. Going to mami-sa's home and the orphanage only worsened her state, as memories of the two of them rushed through her mind. It broke her heart. She would have slowly receded into a dark hole of loneliness once again if it weren't for Rudra.

As promised, Rudra stayed by Parvati's side. He was there through it all, supporting her and helping her in every way he could. When her strength faltered, he became her rock. Because she was in a state of shock, Rudra had taken care of most of the arrangements. He had notified the university that he and Paro wouldn't be attending for a few days, due to personal matters. After the final rites were done, he had gone back to the orphanage to settle matters there. The place was under mami-sa's name, as she had opened the orphanage with her hard-earned money. Therefore, with her gone, he had to figure out how to manage the place. Rudra knew that mami-sa wouldn't want to shut the place down. This was her legacy. Parvati had decided to run the orphanage. She knew everything about the place anyways, and it was only logical that she take over. It was the least she could do for her mami-sa.

Dilsher and Mala had even stopped by on multiple occasions to check on Parvati. Rudra had spent so much of his time with her that they had detailed knowledge of the state she was in. They went in hopes to comfort and console her. Mala often brought food for her, and made every effort to get her to eat something. It was only by her hand that Paro was able to swallow down a few morsels, though she didn't want to. Dilsher tried to find the words that would soothe the ache in Paro's heart, but nothing he said seemed to lessen the pain. The wounds of the loss were obviously too deep. They felt helpless as they watched the innocent woman before them struggle to hold herself together for those around her.

Rudra was able to do everything for Paro, but the one thing he couldn't do was get her to stop crying. During the late nights when he stayed and helped her sort out mami-sa's belongings, he would find her sitting alone, silently trying to muffle her sobs. She would look at the large photo of mami-sa that hung in the main office, now with a garland adorning it, and become lost in her pool of memories. He made no attempt to comfort Paro, knowing that she needed to cry in order to feel better. However, every tear that escaped her eyes killed him. He hated seeing her like this. For the first time, Rudra felt helpless. It took all his strength not to break down with her. He wished there was something he could do to make it better.

~

Late one night, Rudra was at the orphanage helping Parvati go through some documents and deeds. He shrugged off his black leather jacket and rolled up the sleeves of his white, long-sleeved shirt. He was in the main office, standing by the window and reading a file while Parvati went to help put the children to bed. After she took charge, she hired some women to work as caretakers. Parvati knew that she wouldn't be able to handle this entire place alone. She busied herself by helping them get into a routine and get comfortable with the children. Now, she was assisting them while he was going through some paperwork.

He was so focused on what he was doing that he failed to notice the presence of someone else in the office with him. It wasn't until the soft child-like voice reached his ears that he looked up.

"Rudra Uncle?"

He looked up and found Rehaan standing in the doorway, rubbing the sleep away from his eyes. Rudra put the file down and walked over to the little boy. Along with the drowsiness, there was sadness in the child's innocent gaze. This concerned Rudra.

He knelt down, "Hey Rehaan. Why are you still up?"

"I'm thirsty," Rehaan replied.

Rudra looked around the room. He grabbed a glass from the desk and filled it with water from the jug beside it. He then knelt back down and gave Rehaan the glass, and he drank the whole thing.

"Let's get you to bed," Rudra said as he put the glass back.

He picked up Rehaan and carried him down the hall, back to his room. Rehaan wrapped his arms around Rudra's neck and rested his head on his shoulder. The tiredness was once again pressing down upon him. Rudra could feel the child relaxing in his arms. When they reached the bedroom, Rudra laid Rehaan down and tucked him back into bed. This was the first time he had ever done so; he remembered the days when he was a child and his maa-sa would tuck him in at night. The act was similar and it brought back good memories, sending him into a state of nostalgia as he continued to put Rehaan to sleep.

"Rudra Uncle," Rehaan spoke. "Is Pari didi okay?"

He looked at the little boy, confused, "She is okay. Why are you asking?"

"I saw her crying."

Understanding the little boy's inquiry, Rudra sighed and, in a calm voice, said, "...She...she is okay. Your Pari didi is just sad about mami-sa, just like you are."

Rehaan nodded, "Is she sad because mami-sa left us all?"

"Yeah, she is."

"Are you going to leave us too?"

"What?" Rudra asked rather taken aback.

"Are you going to leave us like mami-sa did?"

"No. Why? Do you think I will?"

"It's just that everyone we love leaves us. We loved mami-sa and she left us. We love you, so are you going to leave us too?"

His words touched Rudra. He didn't know when he had made a place for himself amongst the children, but he did. They had become attached to him, and now he could never break their trust by leaving...not that he was going to. He was surprised that Rehaan had disclosed this to him, but inside he knew the reasoning behind it. Not only he, but the other children most likely feared that they would continue losing people they loved. Well, Rudra wasn't going to let them live with the fear of losing him, especially since they cared about him as much as he cared about them.

Rudra shook his head, "I'm not going to leave."

"Never ever?"

"Never ever," he patted Rehaan's head. "I made a promise to mami-sa that I wouldn't."

Rehaan smiled softly.

"Get some sleep."

Rudra turned off the lights and left. He walked back down the hall and was about to go into the main office when he found Parvati sitting on the front steps. He slowed down and took in the sight before him. Her arms were wrapped around her knees, while she leaned her head against the railing, looking up at the night sky. The glow from the moon illuminated her long-sleeved, white chunidar. Her dupatta hung loosely on her shoulder, and she didn't seem to care that it was slipping off. She was lost in her own world.

He made his way to her and sat down on the steps beside her. Her face, for the first time in a long time, was free of tear stains. That was a good sign for him because it meant that she was doing a little better. However, the sadness was still in her eyes and it continued to gnaw at Rudra. He had promised himself that he would give her the happiness she deserved, but he had done nothing of the sort. If only there was something he could do.

Then it hit him. He was already doing it. There was nothing more he could do but be by her side until she willingly came to him to seek comfort. Until then, he had to stay by her side. Rudra mimicked her posture, bringing his knees to his chest and resting his arms on them. He saw her glance in his direction before turning her attention back to the sky. He, too, did the same. The moon was full, and only a few stars were visible. He wondered what Parvati was thinking about as she gazed away at the night.

As if she had read his thoughts, she spoke softly, "When I was little, I was afraid of the dark. I liked to be outside because I loved the moonlight. It was the only brightness in the darkness around me. Mami-sa would often find me sitting on the steps, just like this. I would tell her I was scared to sleep alone in my room, in the dark. She would pull me in her arms, rock me back and forth, and hum a lullaby. She did that on these very steps."

Rudra looked at Paro. She was still looking at the sky.

"It's hard to sit on these steps and not think about those moments. I always thought she did this for the other children as well, but no. She did it just for me. It was like something only we shared. It made me feel special."

"You were special to her."

She looked at him.

Rudra nodded, "You were special to her, Paro. She loved you, adored you in fact. I saw it in the way she cared for you. Even when she...was in the hospital...mami-sa was only worried about you. You were like her daughter."

"And she was the closest thing I had to a maa-sa."

"She was, in essence, your maa-sa."

"And now...she's gone."

Rudra looked at her before diverting the topic, "Come. The kids are asleep. Everything is okay here. Let's get you home."

She shook her head sadly, "I can't. I have no home to go to. I'm back to where I always have been...in a world where I'm alone."

"Don't say that."

Parvati looked at him. He was staring back at her, pain etched on his face. She immediately became worried seeing that. She didn't know what was wrong. She failed to realize how her feelings of loneliness affected Rudra. He didn't want her to feel that way, ever. She stared at him, searching for the reasoning behind his painful plea. The confusion melted when Paro suddenly felt Rudra hold her hand. She didn't retreat, but instead looked at their intertwined hands before meeting his gaze once more.

"You aren't alone. As long as I am here, you will never be alone. I gave my word to mami-sa that I would always be here for you, and I will never break that promise. Ever."

Parvati felt the lump rise in her throat. She leaned towards him and rested her head on his shoulder. They moved their hands, and Parvati wrapped her arm around his. It was the first attempt from her side to seek comfort in him, willingly. Rudra looked at her resting against him so calmly and held her hand that was wrapped around his arm so securely.

"Thank you," she said softly.

"For what?" he asked as he rubbed her hand.

"For being there."

Rudra gave a soft smile before brushing his lips on the top of her head, "Always."

Parvati closed her eyes. Even after everything she had said to Rudra, he was still there. He hadn't left. He was there through it all: from mami-sa's heart attack to after her death. He didn't even think twice about helping her. When she broke down, Rudra was there, picking up the pieces. All this time his presence hovered over her like a shadow. And she knew by the look in his eyes he meant every word that came from his mouth. Rudra was going to be there for her as he always has been. But what scared her, what question haunted her, was for how long? How long would he be there? When would enough be enough? When would he walk away? She recalled all the words mami-sa had told her, all the advice she had given.

He is trying. Give him a chance.

You shouldn't punish him for Varun's mistakes. Rudra isn't that man.

You can marry him. It isn't wrong.

Rudra will protect you.

You deserve happiness and it will be with Rudra.

Mami-sa had truly believed that her happiness would lie with Rudra, that he would be there and protect her. She was so sure that he wasn't like Varun. But Paro was still scared. A part of her wanted to believe that he was nothing like her late husband, but part of knew that looks could be deceiving. This could all be a part of a game that Rudra was playing, the same game that Varun had played to have her. She had been told that she was unwanted, so the fact that Rudra cared so much for her was quite baffling. She felt undeserving of such compassion. His words replayed in her mind.

Well, I'm your friend.

I care about you, Paro.

I love you, Paro!

You are not worthless. You are priceless.

I will marry you.

As long as I'm here, you will never be alone.

Parvati wasn't sure what to do or say to him. Unknowingly, she felt indebted to him. Rudra continued to give without expecting anything from her in return. How could a man be so selfless? He truly loved her, and she? She cared for him, but love was something she felt was not in her destiny. It was a word that wasn't in her vocabulary, not after everything that happened with Varun. But this man that sat beside her, supporting her, comforting her, deserved so much more than her, yet he only wanted her...someone who was unwanted all her life...someone who was destined to remain unloved. What should she do? What could she do? But more importantly, what did she want to do? In the battle between her head and heart, Parvati's heart finally ruled as she made a sudden, life-changing decision. She opened her eyes and took a deep breath.

Without moving to look at him, she spoke, "Rudra."

"Hmm?" he said.

"Will you marry me?"

**********

Yes, I am leaving you here...at this insane cliffhanger! Let me know what you think by leaving your comments and feedback below.

Next update: Rudra's response. Will he accept or reject Paro's proposal?

Thanks for reading!