Maximum city: article (Shilpa's comments)

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Anjali

@blyton

Rocker

Posted: 17 years ago

Maximum city, minimum time

< content=08/28/2007 name=date>

In the rat race for fatter pay-cheques, is the Mumbaikar guilty of not giving quality time to those he's running for? Malay Desai looks for answers…

Back to Section Stories Posted On Tuesday, August 28, 2007


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Ralph Waldo Emerson had found the world "too busy with the crowded hour to fear to live or die". Today, more than a hundred years, a thousand new cities and a million BPO jobs later, his adage continues to be our reality. Though this is not a bad sign for the ever-modernising world — richer working classes, more moolah circulating in the economies and higher standards of living. But if you look at this 21st century scenario from a macro level, we often find some pertinent questions lurking: You may have gone on an SOTC tour with your better half to Europe last year, but when was the last time you had a coffee-conversation watching the rain at home? You may have reached your credit limit on your card the last time you shopped, but do you remember when you cooked together? Welcome to a world where physical distances are getting 'smaller' and those between relationships are widening. Read on, before you think, "Nah, this isn't happening with me…"

NO TIME TO STAND AND STARE
Blame it on ever-challenging work-profiles, over-zealous career motives or even the vagaries of the mega-city you live in; but 'no time to stand and stare' is the clichd reality. Thirty one-year-old Jaymala Chaturvedi is the HR head of a leading pharma company (FYI, pharma has been one of the booming sectors in India lately). "My job-profile requires me to leave home before seven in the morning and return only by 5 pm." Living in a joint family, Jaymala has innumerable chores to complete before she calls it a day. "My husband (with whom she's been married for the last four years after a 10-year courtship) runs a business in which he has to switch between four different offices and warehouses all over Mumbai. He never returns home before midnight." She goes on to tell us how this schedule created a vacuum in their communication. Several months later, things went so awry, that they took a mutual decision of going on a much-needed holiday to spend time with each other. "Our holidays were more out of reaction to the growing distance between us" she tells us. Not ironically, her husband Rohit wasn't available for comment!

The "I-am-so-busy-I-don't-remember-the-last-time-I-said-hi" syndrome has been not only been hitting working married couples. Avinash Pereira, a 19-year-old aspiring to be a pilot shares his peeves of a communication gap with his sister who is a journalist: "Though we share a flat (our parents residing in a different city), we actually never 'stay' together! Her work hours are too erratic, which means I get to see her once-a-week in worst-case situations. Only missed calls and SMSes help us come to know how we're doing!" Sister beloved however, clarifies, "I know my profession doesn't allow me time with my young brother, but then I make it a point to take him out for movies and dinners on my weekly off! I also cook for him and keep our fridge loaded".

BPO: Big Problems in the Offing?
Along with millions of job opportunities, several new relationship-related problems have been outsourced to India in

Ivan Shekar, BPO employee

the recent BPO boom. With more and more 20-somethings working when the moon is overhead and sleeping when the sun up, there is more harm occurring to them than health problems. One of them, Ivan Shekar, confides in us (after we wake him up from deep sleep at 5 pm): "Even though I had a five-day week, I only used to sleep on my off-days because my body system was tuned so. My relationships with friends and family didn't exactly 'strain', but I sure felt cut-off. I hardly had time for myself." It's been six months since he got off the BPO merry-go-round which he rode for over two years. "Many of my colleagues don't mind this lifestyle because of the money it pays," he adds. So, it's your decision - if you want to have your cash registers ringing while you stop recognising yourself; or work elsewhere and keep in touch with those old school buddies.

SO THEN, HOW DO YOU SOLVE THE TIMEQUAKE?
Actors Shilpa Saklani and hubby Apurva went through pretty much of this syndrome for almost six months after getting hitched. "I was doing three shows at a time and even he was keeping busy shooting. This really frustrated

Shilpa Saklani & Apurva Agnihotri, actors

me because I am the type of wife who loves to cook everyday(🤔Apu said on camera that she cooks only once or twice a year). I like welcoming my husband home after his work and have conversations over dinner," she tells us. But then, work was taking a toll on both of them and such moments hardly came by. Things were going out of hand.

"The only solution was to cut down on work — which I had in mind already. Today I have done that and have simply said no to many lucrative acting opportunities." And it shows. Shilpa says she has enjoyed married life to the fullest since the last five months.

But, understandings came by easy for them as both the parties involved are in the same profession. What about those who are perpetually busy and concerned about the growing distance with their friends and family? Well, an occasional holiday, a walk on the beach together or even a drink 'n' dance program at the pub can do wonders — even if you get time to plan these once-in-a-long time. Shilpa agrees, "Hanging out with friends and meeting family members eases it out for both of us."

You know you're not giving time to your loved ones when…

• You determine whether your husband's in town or not by the size of the soap

• You budget a fixed amount of your salary to buy post-it slips

• You email your sibling (who happens to stay with you) asking his/her age details to fill up a form

• You come to know you forgot to wish your best buddy on his/her birthday. Not through another common friend, but through Orkut. When your birthday comes along, this buddy sends you flowers with a 'get well soon' tag

• You hurried home with a gift last Mother's day when you came to know of it through the newspaper. This time round you didn't find time to read the newspaper

• You have to wait for commercial breaks in between soaps to tell your wife that you are concerned about your communication gap

• You smiled at least once while reading this, because at least some of this has happened to you sometime.

http://www.mumbaimirror.com/net/mmpaper.aspx?page=article&am p;sectid=9&contentid=20070828200708280248175468e0ed4a8

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Frequent Posters

ahem_brahmasmi

@ahem_brahmasmi

Inactive

Posted: 17 years ago

Hey Blyton,

Thanks for the article...Didn't read it properly because my eyes were on Apu. 😆 He looks really cute in this pic and he looks completely breathtaking. Now I think I too will start comparing Apu to recipes like Autumn 😆😳

I think regarding what Shilpa said about cooking..she was actually saying that she would love to cook for him daily...but she wasn't able to do it...as she had to work and so like Apu had said..during those days she could only cook once or twice a year. 😳

Now back to Apu and I am back to my Apu dreamland.😛 😆

Love,
Priya 😳

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Dimdim

@Dimdim

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 17 years ago

Thanks Anjali ....for AA and SSA news. 😉

Edited by Dimdim - 17 years ago

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Shanti

@shanti05

Stunner

+ 3

Posted: 17 years ago

Thanks Blyton!!!! Apu looks chow cweet!!!!

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sharmadha

@Sharmii

Inactive

Posted: 17 years ago

I dont mind SS staying at home....her fans might miss her but thats their problem( selfish me I know...)

Not unless she forces AA to do the same thing....I want him on my TV!! 😆