Who Am I? Author's Note pg-120 - Page 33

CHAPTER-16

"The trophy for the best singer of the year female goes to..."

"...rat."

Rat? The best singer is a rat? Wait! Rat...?

"What are you talking?" I screamed and try to snatch the trophy from the hostess when I heard chaos. Some people shouted at me above my head.

"Babydoll there's a rat on the bed..."

"Rat on bed...No" I woke up with a shriek, took my pillow as a weapon so that whenever or wherever I spot that monstrous creature called rat, I'll throw the pillow on it. But wait! Where is the rat? Actually no rat only.

I saw two duffers laughing out loud rolling on the floor like mad people.

"Sid...Adi. How dare you both?" shouted I angrily.

"Dare what?" asked the moron called Adi.

"Dare to waste my beautiful Sunday morning. Actually I am at fault I should have understood it that this one was a prank when I heard baby doll."

But this added more to their laughter and their voice reached some other level.

"Morons stop laughing like a fool," ordered I. They stopped laughing for a second and again started.

Sid and Adi, the two people on earth whom I love like anything. The two people who love me even after knowing everything about me. They be my everything after the four members of my family. Sid, Siddhant Kapoor, the ACP of the Police Crime Investigation Department, Mumbai...no one will say now if they see him this way and the other is Aditya Khuraana, one of the best music director of Bollywood. And he is even the reason behind my series of hits. They made me believe in friendship. They love me as a lover, care for me as a brother, and pamper me as a father and walks with me hand in hand like a true friend. They taught me to be independent and forced me to enjoy my life to its extent though they are sometime really annoying but they also know that they are my life. When they are with me nothing felts boring, I feel alive and I become their Baby Doll. Well Adi calls me Baby and Sid calls me Doll. I be their sweetheart. Actually I really become a child when they are with me.

Sid..

Adi..

"Rat right?" and I threw two pillows on them.

"Doll...It was all Adi's plan..." said Sid making a pleading face.

"You both were together in this," said I angrily.

Suddenly Chachi appeared with a tray of juice and cookies and with breakfast of sandwiches and boiled eggs for three of us. And Meera was behind her with my hot chocolate.

"So again a worst Sunday for Nandu..." exclaimed she.

"Chachi till the time I have these jokers in my life I am not going to have any peaceful Sunday," said I.

Actually in this day, they appear to give electric shocks in morning with all their tricks. Although everyday I have peaceful pecks on my forehead and nose by them the Sunday I just experience different kinds of heart attacks by them. Adi is obsessed with my nose and Sid my forehead.

"Di but they are your honey and bunny," said Meera.

"Seems like Meeru got some brains," said Sid.

"I was just saving you both," said Meera making a funny gesture.

Meera is also pampered by them like their little sister. Chachi and Meera went away.

"Sorry to waste your Sunday Baby Doll," said both of them in unison.

"Till now it is wasted ...but now..." I shouted in happiness, "I am have my best Sunday with my best buddies," and I landed on them throwing both of my arms in their shoulders, hugging both of them tightly.

"Aww...Baby you look like a real baby...," said Adi.

"And you both are my sweet parents..." said I.

"Parents?" said Adi in horror.

I broke the hug and looked at his face questioningly.

"Girl we are not gay...We cannot adopt you," said Adi.

"Yeah...Doll don't say such things in public..." said Sid making a tensed face.

"Oh...come on my drama company, when it comes to me Darling behaves like mom and Honey behaves like dad," said I.

Darling is Adi and Honey is Sid.

"But we can't be your parents," said Sid.

I made a crying face, "I don't know about my parents...how..."

I threw my best weapon.

"Shhh...Baby...we are your parents...Sid say something..." scolded Adi after pampering me.

"Yeah...Doll... don't cry we love you more than ourselves. Bacchha control your emotions...be strong," said Sid.

"Baby say mumma...I can be even mumma for you sweetu...change to mumma from darling if you want..."

"Okay mumma from today," said I with a smile.

"Baby are you taking it seriously? I just said to calm you down..."

"Fell in your own dug well Adi," exclaimed Sid.

They made me sat on the bed. Suddenly Sid's eyes went over the bandage of my left arm and he turned to his mother hen mode or father cock mode...Don't know who is my real mumma in both of them but for now he is being my over protective mother.

"Doll what happened in your arms?" asked he.

I saw my arm. The famous cut which I had in Manik Malhotra's house has attracted Sid's eyes and now hearing his words Adi's attention also went over there and he also got tensed after seeing it.

"Baby how you got hurt on your arm now? Any new mission?" asked Adi.

"Honey and darling don't get so tensed. I am fine now and let me brush first so that I can have my hot chocolate otherwise it will turn to a cold one and you guys have to make a new cup for me," said I.

"But how you got hurt?" asked Sid.

"Guys I have to tell you many things first let me take a shower please..."

"Okay"

And I moved towards my shower. I sat in my bath tub.

What am I getting Manik into? Manik cannot be with me like them, they are trained but Manik he is just a mere College kid. He cannot face a gun though he can play pranks and can make anyone's life hell. I liked Manik's touch last night, it was giving me the same kind of shocks which I felt when that fourteen year old guy kissed me. But then also...I have to face real guns where they can play pranks with fake ones. I have to get into some place from where I can never return but they are planning for their life. They know their past and trying to settle good future but I, I don't know anything about my past and my future is to ensure that I will know my lost past and then die. They have life and hope before them and I have a chance and death before me. I cannot mingle Manik but why I want Manik to know about me or to be with me in such problems like Sid and Adi. No Nans...you cannot risk anyone's life. Your life is a complete mess bringing Manik with you will end him too. I had to control myself...No feelings can take over me. This strong physical demand...for the first time I want to be a girl and feel someone inside me and that someone is Manik. I don't want to be a like a girl but I want to be a girl for...Manik. Yes when he touched me last night not only my body shrieked but my heart screamed. His touches made me anxious. No I have to control myself...I am not weak and Manik is not my weakness.

Suddenly I started humming... and after few seconds I recognized the track. It was Saleena Gomez's "My dilemma"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aR_c0VUtJMY

"You make me so upset sometimes"

I remembered when he broke my pen

"I feel like I could lose my mind..."

I remembered how I punched him.

"The conversation goes nowhere"

Yesterday's useless conversation of "Who am I" struck me.

"Because you're never gonna take me there..."

I remembered that Alya is his girl friend, it useless to feel anything for him.

"And I know, what I know"

Actually I know that he has his girl.

"And I know you're no good for me"

And now my mind went when he made me his spot.

"Yeah I know, what I know"

I know he is just a College kid, he will not be able to handle my stressful life.

"And I know it's not meant to be"

I know it's not meant to be...How? He have a carefree life and I, I have hazards in my life.

"Here's my dilemma
One half of me wants ya"

Seriously like yesterday I wanted to bury my face in his chest and enjoy his touch. Actually!

"And the other half wants to forget"

I don't want to risk his life with me.

"My-my-my dilemma
From the moment I met ya
I just can't get you out of my head"

Now here I agree from that time I am dying in his topic only. Even standing under the shower am lost in him.

"And I tell myself to run from you"

I choked thinking that from last half an hour am trying to do that only.
"But I find myself attracted to my dilemma,"

Yippe! Happy realization...Am hell attracted towards him...Speaking honestly getting quite jealous of Alya.
"My dilemma, it's you, it's you"

Yes...Manik Malhotra it's you!

After the shower when I came to my room and checked my watch I thanked God that before shower I had my breakfast. Coz I was in my washroom from last one hour.

I found my two best buddies playing video games sitting in my bean bag chairs. Both of them are elder than me but look at them still be babies and call me baby...Sid and Adi has no girl friends, so their time is preserved for me. Sid don't have girl friend coz he thinks his work is his first love and I am his second love. He was an orphan but he really succeeded in achieving his dreams. He is handsome and can skip any girl's heart.

Adi, one the most handsome music director, even handsome than the actors who are considered to be the chocolate boys of the industry. I feel that way, am quite biased when it comes for these two and Adi is really very cute no one can deny it I can say with a guarantee. Now why he don't have girlfriend? Because of that Shiela witch who broke my bff's heart pathetically. Now he don't believe in love and indulges himself in the activities of death with me and Sid. Well I taught that Shiela a lesson already ruining her career in the industry totally for messing my darling's life, that's why everyone calls me the Devil of real life. As I turn the person into nothing from all sides whether personal or professional if he or she stands against me as my enemy.

And I am a girl, who cannot imagine a life without expeditions and adventures. For me if a girl has a boy friend, her life will start from that guy and it will end on him. I seriously feel miserable when I think that way. I had always been a free bird. I don't want to fall in any clutches of love coz it will make my life limited to a guy, then maybe I will be married to him, will have him as my husband and then have babies, which is a big responsibility and then I will find my life has finished. No boyfriend will ever want a girlfriend who loves to play hide and seek with death. And I really don't want a possessive boyfriend who will stop me from mingling with my honey and darling. They don't have anyone in this world after me, we three are tied by our fate coz three of us had the bitter experience of life and can connect each other well but a person entering from a happy life will not be comfortable in complicated lives like ours. And I really don't want anyone to stop me from my activities. I always want to be free, for that if I don't have some physical and mental pleasure like other girls, I really won't mind.

Wait! Why am I thinking these things? Am I trying to justify these to myself only or someone is really entering my life in my unconsciousness? Is this someone Manik?

No...I will not let Manik enter my heart at any cost. Manik Malhotra you are impulsive and if you come in my life like love your character gives me vibes that you will be possessive, no...I cannot let you change my life and I will not let you to. You will never mean anything to me...Never!

Well here goes one more update...Do speak ur heart...Its really been a hard work😳

Lov u all...

Mimi😳