Chapter 16
Khushi saw Arnav taking a step back, her heart lurched in her chest, more sick she became.
A look at Anjali had done nothing good, her eyes were fixed to floor. Anjali was lifeless as all of the colours out of her colourful life were drained, she walked out of the study.
Payal, Mami ji, and Nani followed her to give her much needed support.
Arnav didn't take long either to exit, followed by Akaash and mama ji.
For the past five years she had lived in this fear of hurting them. She killed herself to save them this pain, but she failed today.
Thanks to Sunaina. More she thought of her, more angry she became and worst it got for her to control it.
"I am sorry everyone," she said, as if it was her mistake. But she wished she had not listened to Lavanya. Arnav must have picked himself alone. She didn't have to complicate his life more.
She held her aching head and kept her hand over her belly to give herself a constant reminder that she wasn't alone. If because of her anything happened to her baby, she was never going to forgive herself.
When she was pregnant with Hazel, situations were worst than this, but she had bravely pulled through it. Back then, thanks to her parents for complicating her life than it already was. Also physically, she was a wreck when memories of accident with Lavanya were still fresh and daunted her, even in her sleeps.
One thing that did different was this time she might be alone. Her family wasn't going to believe her words once they would come out of their trance. She didn't blame them either. She still had kept quite knowing she had no proof to prove herself innocent.
Khushi's POV/flashback
"Khushi, promise that you will not let anyone know about my betrayal to Arnav. I know I did a mistake by hurting him, a person who loved me the most in this world. But this doesn't mean I never loved him. I loved him the most, but I couldn't fight the temptations to be with another man...Khushi, promise me! I have not much time left."
I don't know why at first place I was listening her.
"No, La, please just don't do this. Don't do anything harmful. Face it, I know Arnav ji, will forgive you..." I told her.
She shook her head, tears were flowing down her eyes. "No, Khushi. No. He is not going to forgive me. He will either kill me or himself. He is not that strong to take the betrayal. Because he loves me. I won't ever be able to see him in his eyes, and say "I cheated him." Khushi, he was my first love and will always be..."
I heard the train horn, and la looked for an upcoming train. I look at her shocked. "Khushi, promise you will!" she was restless to get an answer from me.
"La, please, don't do this..." I was yelling at her, begging her to not to take a decision in a haste. Her car was at 160 Km/h. I was scared. I tried every way to change her mind. But she was a stubborn person.
A train was approached in a distance. My fears grew knowing what was coming.
La in quick minutes unbuckled my seat belt, while I was looking at the train that was approaching much faster than my mind or eyes could calculate. I couldn't get her actions.
"La, I am not going to let you harm yourself!" I said. But it was too late, Lavanya leant in, opened the door of my side, before I could think of doing the same to save her, she pushed me out of the car.
"La!" I shouted. My head hit the hard rock on the side of the road, the time it took me go unconscious I saw La's car slowly crushing in bits by the side of the train. And I could only do was cry.
End of flashback
***Third person POV***
She gasped, her heart was beating at the top notch. As if everything once again was happening in front of her eyes.
She fell on her knees, as her legs were paralysed. Her body fell on the floor. Tears streamed down her eyes and they fell on the floor, in dirt.
***
"Shyam, come home as soon as possible!" Akaash muttered under his breath, that was full of raging heat.
"What happened, Saleh Sahab?" he asked.
"I said, I need you at RM, as soon as possible..."
His heart drummed in his chest. He could tell from Akaash's tone that he had to face the storm.
"Has Khushi told everything to them?" he thought. Akaash cut the phone before Shyam could say anything. He immediately called Khushi. Her phone rang in her hands, but she was too lost to answer it.
"Khushi, pick up the phone...I hope everything is okay!" he prayed.
When she saw Shyam's name flashing, there was a newfound stamina in her. She instantly picked herself from the floor and answered.
"Hello, Khushi, how is everything? Akaash called me. He sounded angry. Have you told everything to the family?"
He took her cries as "yes." His eyes went more wide, his heart shrunk in fear. He rubbed his forehead with his fingers.
"Khushi, don't cry, and tell me what exactly you told them?"
She couldn't speak, every time she opened her mouth, only uncleared words came out of her mouth that made no sense to him.
"Khushi, Akaash wants me home...He sounded really angry...please tell me, is Rani Saheba okay? I am in the U.K. right now, it will take time for me to get to India!"
"Mumma," Hazel came crying to her. "Mommy, daddy is not opening the door of his room. I knocked on the door, but he isn't answering.
Hearing Hazel's cries over the phone, Shyam knew everything was messed up, his teeth clenched tighter and he cut the phone. "I promise, you will not be spared after what you have done..." he said.
***
"Hazel, nothing has happened to daddy," she said, to calm her daughter.
"Payal mumma, is asking dad to open the door but he is not listening to her either... Everyone in the home is sad. Anjali bhua is crying..."
"Baby...When you are hurt, you cry too, right?"
She nodded. Khushi wiped her tears, and had to go to see if Arnav was okay.
"Hazel, where is Ruhani di?"
"She is with her daddy...And I want to go to my daddy...Mommy, you are crying too!"
"No, dear. Seeing you crying, Mommy is crying."
"I won't cry, Mommy. You don't cry as well!" she said.
Khushi wiped her own tears and tried to smile through her tears. "See, momma, is not crying anymore. Now you stop crying..."
"But, daddy..."
"You go to grandpa, and I ask your daddy, why is he not talking to his angel..."
"Momma, please go soon. And tell him, I am really sad because he not talking to me..."
Khushi hugged her when Hazel was unable to hold her tears back. She was afraid if she fell sick again. "Hazel," she rubbed her back. "You go to grandpa, and I talk to your daddy. I will scold him, you see..."
"Okay, momma!" she said, and kissed her cheeks. "Tell him I love him, if by that time I fell asleep..."
"Okay!"
As soon Hazel went to mama ji, Khushi rushed to their room.
***
"Khushi, see, he isn't opening the door!" Payal said. "And there Anjali di, hasn't said a word yet..."
"Arnav, please, open the door!" she cried. "Please, don't punish yourself. I beg you..."
"Chote, please. Open the door..." Payal yelled.
They didn't even know if he was hearing them. Khushi banged on the door harder. Her fears were beating down every hope of her.
"Bhabi, can you check on Anjali di?"
"Khushi, Ma, and Nani is with her...I have to see if girls are fine..."
"Please di..."
"Where is Hazel?"
"I have sent her to Mama ji..."
"I go and see her, you don't worry," she said, and ran out of there.
"Arnav, for my sake, please open the door...Okay, if not for me please for your children open the door. Hazel, is really upset, she wants to talk to you...
"Please, Arnav."
***Arnav's POV***
There was not one thing that was bothering me, but thousand. My first wife, whose death I was mourning over, was a cheater. Yet it was not proved, but knowing the possibility if it was the truth and that woman cheated me, itself killed me.
Then because of her one promise to Khushi, ten different lives were paying the toll. She herself preferred death, and let everyone else to die every moment. My family, my wife, my children, and me.
Situations were complicating more and more every second.
First Hazel came, in her babbling tone she was begging me, her father to open the door for her. But how could I have? I didn't want to show my helpless state to her. I didn't need to show my child my condition.
Payal bhabi came later, but I didn't care.
In all this, I didn't even know where Khushi was. If she was okay. But I was too disturbed to even go out of my room and see. A fear was there that never escaped.
I don't care anymore I thought. But it wasn't easy believed and put it to practice than said.
And my children was important to me. They always had been, regardless of what happened.
Then Khushi came. I immediately got up the bed and went to open the door. I felt relieved hearing from her. She was fine. But my wounds were all of sudden salted even more. I just stood close to the door. My hands on the knob. My mind had changed, I was not ready to face her at the moment knowing my anger if came out will hurt my child.
Then when I heard nothing from her, I realised I cared for her too.
No truth kept hidden from me was going to change this one fact that we cared for each other. On time to time basis we had proved each other. That was the foundation on which our relationship was built on.
What if anything wrong was with Khushi, or my baby. With this fears in my mind, I opened the door. I see her leant against the wall on the floor. Her face completely covered in tears. As soon as she sees door was opened, her eyes slowly moved up my feet to reach my eyes, but I was no longer looking at her. She was relieved to see me.
I don't know whether I was actually mad at her. This woman had sacrificed herself. Her family, her happiness for me. It was not a lie, that much was evident to me.
I couldn't give myself the strength to help her get up on her feet, she herself did. For my baby I would have, but I didn't. I just couldn't. When I myself stood spineless.
I walked inside the room. I heard the door closing behind me, slowly and then shut. The soft footsteps of her followed as she slowly walked after me.
What my mind was telling me to do I was doing the reciprocal. I wanted her to ask her to leave me alone. But this tired I was, I preferred staying quite instead. May be I just needed her to be close to me.
She stood in front of me, three or four inches away, and held my hand in hers, I was not sure what she intended to do, if it was just a hand hold I was going to push it away, but no, she kept it over her womb. Where my... our baby was growing. Our because, to bring it to life was again our decision. I didn't know my life had still this storm left to face. Otherwise, I really had waited before planning this one.
"Arnav ji," she said. Very often she called me "Arnav ji" not sure when she actually used it and when not.
My eyes were still looking in a distance, I dared not to move and neither let any emotion to cloud my face. It was just plain.
"...you did not say anything, that could tell if you believe me or not."
I wasn't in a mood to hear anything or what might have followed.
"I didn't want to hide any truth from you. And the only reason I did was you so that you don't go through a heart ache that you are going through now. Lavanya loved you, she truly did, but she couldn't fight the need for an another man."
My hands pressed harder against her belly, in anger. Instead of pulling it away. I don't know what triggered anger in me. A thought of Lavanya cheated me or Khushi might be lying me or vice versa. I was trying hard to fight the dilemma. And moreover, believe, what ever Khushi was saying was a truth. Then I realised either way it was my failure.
The other moment my mind was solely on my baby, I knew they were our children, they were strong. They can survive any storm. But then them being so little and going through all this torture with us, killed me.
"I promise, everything will be okay, Arnav ji. This storm in our life is going to clear up very soon. Shortly, everyone will be happy, I wanted to spend my life with you once I was in your life. I married you, I attached myself emotionally to you, I demanded for a baby so that we have a bridge in between us. Not only to connect us, but so that we have something to focus on in this relationship of us. After all these years, I thought everything was okay when you finally returned, but no, now again our life is standing at the same spot as four years ago it was."
I didn't know what exactly she wanted to say but I didn't need any narration on the past.
"Arnav ji, I can fight the whole world, only I want to know is if you believe me..."
My hands were over her womb. I didn't want to lie. So I chose to stay quite to her question.
"Please," she said. "Tell me you believe me..." she again asked me as if her life dependent on it. My silence wasn't helping her. My heart felt a jolt when she moved her hand that held mine in place against her womb. She took "no" to my silence? I thought. My heart was in my throat. Little later there was a change in her. She shut her eyes, I couldn't tell if she was in pain, or she was just having a word with herself. I couldn't ask her. My mind and my tongue didn't allow me. She opened her eyes and cupped my face.
"You believe me!" She said. It was not a question, but a certain statement. "I know you do!"
"No, I don't believe you!" I said, but first I made sure I had my hand off her belly.
"Why didn't you say that when your hand was over my womb?" she asked me. It surprised me that as she already knew I was going to lie.
***Khushi's POV***
I think I surprised him, by telling him I know he believes me. But it was a relief. As in a hot weather I had found cold water to drink in a place like desert. Arnav ji had really solved my every confusion. Now I wasn't afraid of anything. Even if he tells me thousand other things to prove my this believe wrong. I know I hadn't done anything to make him believe me, but still he believed me. I couldn't have been more thankful to God. I knew I wasn't alone anymore. After so many pains to this heart of mine, this was a ailment to its wounds.
I saw a pain on his face and with a thud he fell on his knees. I felt as if I was the one who was thrown from a height. "I am really tired of all this, Khushi!" he said, as if to say this he had waited for years. "I can't take any pain anymore, I believe you, but I can't register that Lavanya cheated on me," every word he said broke my heart, my soul, and my mind in infinity pieces. I was going to sit in front of him, but he hugged my waist. "Why didn't you tell me this before?!" he asked me in a tone full of pain and grief. My eyes shut, and I could feel the warm tears of his against my belly.
His sobs shook his and my body. He never had cried, he never let his emotions open to anyone, and that was what always worried me. I tried to hug him, but he was standing again.
He held me by my shoulders, I saw a cloud of anger in his eyes along with pain that was always there. "Answer me, Khushi. You knew one day this truth was going to come out, why didn't you tell me before?"
I had told him every reason before that I had nothing else to tell him. My lips were tight. Only I muttered was "Sorry."
"Sorry!" he said, in disgust. "I can't even hurt you, damn it! I can't even hate you!"
He might have not, but I hated myself already.
***Arnav's POV***
"Arnav ji, I know I am a curse!" she said. "I am a curse, to you, to my children, to our families..."
Something in me died as I heard those words from her. Conversation between us was growing more and more darker as night grew darker. Instead of Lavanya, I deserved to be dead!" she said.
That very sentence of her killed me thousand times. No. Before she had beaten herself to death, and said anything else wrong, I hugged her tightly in my arms. She wailed in my arms. I was shaking my head.
"No, Khushi, you are not a curse to anyone!" I told her. Her words as they replayed in my mind killed me over and over again...Before she and our baby was damaged, I had to stop all of it.
The conclusion in all this was if Lavanya had dared to cheat me, it was alright. She should be glad that she killed herself. Because of her cheating the lives that were ruined hadn't yet find a peace.
Shyam was still alive. He cheated on my sister, under my noes and was free for the past five years when really everyone was facing hell for no fault of theirs.
Too bad, he is coming back to face hell that everyone till now was facing. After all, he was an equivalent partner in a crime.
***Khushi's POV***
I heard loud cries of Anjali di.
It was too early for Shyam Jiju to come... Arnav ji and me both made our way out to the living room, where already everyone was present.
"Yes, I had extra-marital relationship with Lavanya!" I heard Shyam jiju saying over the phone and everyone else in the family heard it. Anjali di's cries raked my soul.
I was happy he didn't think of coming and answer everyone in their presence. Otherwise, not only Arnav, everyone else would have killed him.
Arnav already stood paralysed, hearing from Jiju himself what I had told them.
"I am sorry, Rani Saheba!" Jiju said, and then cut the phone.
Beep...
Beep...
Beep...
In that moment, everything was silent. Dead silent.
Kabhi Neem Neem Kabhi Shahad Shahad
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