😆 😃Set_Raj's Jokes Mansion.....😃😆
Hello friends..this is the collections of my previous jokes posted on SP forum..will be adding from time to time...
😆 😆Kunjan's Dynamite speech...😆😆
Here is the dynamite speech of kunjan the School headmaster. I hope you will have a great time reading this.😆
Kunjan school Head Master from a remote rural area in bikaner was transferred to a new School in Mumbai. He reported for duty two days before August 15 and as was the practice in the school, was asked to address the school assembly on Independence Day.
Here's his dynamite speech that was recorded for our benefit :
Leddies and Gentulmens, Contemporaries, Children.........
"This is my first maiden speech.
If small small mistakes get inside my speech, I ask pardon. Stickly speaking, I wanted to joint your school more fastly,but for the following reason, too much time lost in getting slipper reservation in three-tyre compartment. The clerk rejected to give ticket. I put complaint on station master. He said me to go to lady clerk. At first she also rejected. I then pressed her for long time and at last with great difficulty she gave a birth only to my son. Anyway I thanked the station master because he was responsible for getting birth of my son.
We got independent because of great leaders like Gundhiji who get-outted all angrezi peoples from India.Tilak said Swaraj is our birth-rate and we shall have it. Today we all have our birth-rate. You children are future dynamic generators of the Nation. Look into future time only. No backside looking, or looking at your behind. Be like great like X'raj Ranjan of Germany or Presidents like Loosebelt, Dim Butter, Lipton etc.
You know genius, no? It is one per cent perspiration and ninety seven percent vaporation. They became great by reading great books.
After we finish you off here in the school, you can go to college and get B.A., M.A., M.A.M.A and other decrease. Then you can become great liars in the supreme courts, shattered accountants, or leacherers in college. The school is like a garden. You are the seeds, classroom is the soil. We will bury you in this soil, pour water of knowledge on your heads and one day you all will become great flowers. Many vacancy job come in newz peppers. Only yesterday I saw in pepper "Wanted for refuted engineering firm: Generators, highpower condensors" so and so forth,etc. These jobs may be teknickel, but you can shine. If you have flare in English, you can become teacher.
I am now ending this fastly. My God blast you! Thank you "
Hope you must have enjoyed it. Do write your suggestions n comments.God Bless You All.😊
Thanks.
set_raj..
Do Deewaane...Dheer aur Kunjan..😆
Here are some jokes on Do Deewane...read and enjoy..😆
1)..Kunjan was very proud of his humour used to say to his wife Shubra leaving for the office : 'Good bye Char Bacchon ki Maa' . One day his wife Shubra fed up of this answered : ' Bye Bye, Do Bacchon Ke Baap'. That ended the Kunjan's witticisms.😆
2)..Kunjan Singh was in court charged with parking his car in a restricted area. The judge asked him if he had anything to say in his defence. "They should not put up such misleading notices,"said Kunjan Singh." It said , "FINE FOR PARKING HERE."😆😆
3)...Dheer and Kunjan used to stay in same building . Kunjan on the Ground floor & Dheer on the 25thfloor. One day when the lift was not working, Dheer invited Kunjan for a Dinner. Kunjan trudged up to 25th floor to find Dheer's flat closed from outside and had a note which read : 'How did you enjoy your dinner ? ' Not to be outdone , Kunjan wrote under it, 'Sorry , I could not make it .'....😆😆😆
4)......... Everybody knows the famous under creek/sea tunnel joining England and France. Before it's construction, the tenders were invited from various construction companies by giving newspaper ads throughout the world. Kunjan Singh came across one such ad and he decided to fill the tender. On the day of opening the tenders everybody was surprised to find Kunjan Singh's tender at it's very lowest. Other tenders were quoting billions of pounds, Kunjan Singh had offered to do the job for just 10000 pounds. Now , as per the rule Kunjan was to get the contract. Before giving works order to Kunjan Singh, the officer asked Kunjan Singh as to how he could afford to work at such a low budget. Kunjan Singh said,"look, back home, there is my brother, Dheer Singh.I will call him here. We will take two shovels. I will start diging from English bank and Dheer Singh will start digging from French bank. The moment we meet, you get a tunnel." The dumbstruck officer asked with courage," and if you don't meet?" Kunjan Singh replied," then you will get two tunnels in same cost."...😆😉😆
Thanks ...keep smiling..set_raj.. 😊
Do Mawaali...Dheer and Kunjan...😆
Hello friends, here are some more jokes on two mawaalis..along with Shubra and Aditi..double dhamaka...
1)..Dheer:-I tried your number so many times, it always said "SWITCHED OFF''.
Kunjan:- Nahi yaar, it's my 'HELLO TUNE!.....😆..
2)..Daku Mangal Singh Dheer ke ghar mein ghus aaya.....
Daku Mangal":- Sona kahan hai, jaldi bataao.....!!
Dheer:-'Poora ghar khaali hai Mangal Singh jee, jahan chaahe So jaao, jitni marzi utni der so jaao..!!...😆😆
3)..Kunjan:- Kaisi sabzi banaayi hai, bilkul gobar jaisa swaad hai..!😡
Shubra:--Hey Bhagwaan, Na jaane inhone kya kya khaa ke dekhaa hai..!!...GOBAR KA SWAAD BHI PATA HAI...!!😆😆(gobar is cow-dung)..😆
4)..Dheer:-''Aapne nurse bahut achi rakhi hai, uskaa haath lagte hi main bilkul theek ho gaya.''
Doctor:--Jaanta hoon, Thappad ki awaaz mujhe bhi sunaai di thi..😆😆
5)..Dheer:--When i get mad at you, you never fight back, how do you control your anger?
Aditi:--I clean the toilet Bowl.
Dheer:--How does that help?
Aditi:--I use your toothbrush and your napkin...😆😆😆
Dheer.... tujhe akal kab aayegi?..😆😆
1-- This case happened in a hospital's intensive care ward where patients always died in same bed and on sunday morning at 11am, regardless of their medical condition. This puzzled the doctors and some even thought it had something to do with supernatural. No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths took place at 11am...... So a world-wide expert team was constituted and they decided to go down to the ward to investigate the cause of incidents. So on sunday few minutes before 11am all doctors and nurses nervously waited outside the ward to see themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about.
Some were holding wooden crosses, prayers books and other holy objects to ward off evil...just when the clock struck 11am...and then..
then.....
then..........
Dheer, the part time sunday sweeper, entered the ward and unplugged the life support system and plugged in the vaccuum cleaner..😆😆
2--Dheer raping a Girl in car. A Policeman came & said What are you doin?
Dheer:Im raping her.
Police:Ok im next.
Dheer:Fine, but I have never rape a policeman...😆😆
3--Dheer saw a beautiful girl.
he went and kissed her.
GIRL: "stupid,what are you doin...?"
Dheer: " B.Com Final Year.... 😆
I hope you are enjoying the jokes on Dheer...keep smiling.. Raj.😊😊
1--Dheer was barely sitting down when he heard a voice from the other stall saying: "Hi, how are you?"
question. "Can I come over?" Ok, this que Dheer is not the type to start a conversation in the men's restroom but he don't know what got into him, so he answered, somewhat embarrassed, "Doin' just fine!" And the other guy says: "So what are you up to?" What kind of question is that? At that point, Dheer is thinking this is too bizarre so he say: "Uhhh, I'm like you, just traveling!"At this point he is just trying to get out as fast as he can when he hear another stion is just too weird for him but he figured he could just be polite and end the conversation. Dheer tells him, "No........I'm a little busy right now!!!"
Then Dheer hear the guy say nervously..."Listen, I'll have to call you back. There's an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions!!!" 😆😆😆
2--Dheer was driving down the road. He passed a traffic camera and saw it flash. Astounded that he had been caught speeding when he was doing the speed limit, he turned around and, going even slower, he passed by the camera. Again, he saw it flash. Dheer couldn't believe it! So he turned and, going a snail's pace, he passed the camera. AGAIN, he saw the camera flash. He guessed it must have a fault, and home he went.Four weeks later he received 3 traffic fines in the mail, all for not wearing a seatbelt. 😆
3)..A woman and Dheer are involved in a car accident; it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt.
After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "So you're a man, that's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days.
Dheer replied, "I agree with you completely.
"This must be a sign from God!" The woman continued, "And look at this, here's another miracle.
"My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune." Then she hands the bottle to Dheer.
Dheer nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman.
The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the Dheer.
Dheer asks, "Aren't you having any?"
The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police..." 😆😆😆.
Jiji ke jokes...isne naak mein dam kar rakha hai....😆
Jiji ne naak mein dam kar rakha hai...jaane ka naam nahi leti manhoos....😆😆..thts y i writing jokes on her..shayad padhke bhaag jaaye...😆..
1--It was at the end of the school year, and a kindergarten teacher urvashi was receiving gifts from her pupils. The florist's son handed her a gift. She shook it, held it overhead, and said, "I bet I know what it is. Some flowers." "That's right" the boy said, "but how did you know?" "Oh, just a wild guess," she said. The next pupil was the candy shop owner's daughter. The teacher held her gift overhead, shook it, and said, "I bet I can guess what it is. A box of sweets." "That's right, but how did you know?" asked the girl. "Oh, just a wild guess," said the teacher. The next gift was from the son of the liquor store owner. The teacher held the package overhead, but it was leaking. Urvashi touched a drop of the leakage with her finger and touched it to her tongue. "Is it wine?" she asked. "No," the boy replied, with some excitement. The teacher repeated the process, taking a larger drop of the leakage to her tongue. "Is it champagne?"urvashi asked. "No," the boy replied, with more excitement. The teacher took one more taste before declaring, "I give up, what is it?" With great glee, the boy replied, "It's a puppy!" 😆😆😆
2--One morning a maasa was trying to wake up Urvashi. "Wake up now! It's time to go to school." "I don't want to go to school," urvashi replied. Maasa said, "Give me two reasons why you don't want to go to school." "Okay. One, all the children hate me. Two, all the teachers hate me." "Not good enough," the maasa replied. "Fine," urvashi said. "Then you give me two good reasons why I SHOULD go to school." "One, you're 50 years old. Two, you're the principal of the school."😆😆(sach mein no one likes you here also, bhagwaan ke liye jaldi jaao is serial se..)😆😆
3--Jiji has dark complexion..one day she wore a bright yellow sari and went to brijesh and said.''dont mind brijesh ji, how do i look?'' seeing her brijesh smiled and replied,''dont mind urvashiji, looks like thers a fire in charcoal factory''.😆😆..kya baat hai briju...👏
She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!"
After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up.
The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?"
"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"😆 Dont mind jiji..abhi bhi nahi samjhi kya?..😆
After seeing Ambica where she forces Saloni to marry Neel, one can only pity on her intelligence, wait does she has?...Not at all...she is most idiotic, dumb, mindless wonder woman. alongwith Kaveri another moong-brain wonder.😆..So here are some jokes on her and Kaveri..😆
1)..Kaveri ran after the Garbage truck yelling,''Am I too late for the Garbage?
''NO, jump in!'' said the truck driver....😆(wish they can take her, she is a garbage-mind woman in SP..)😆
2)..Samar to Saloni:-''Kaveri has an electric blender, electric toaster, electric bread-maker and electric oven.''
Then she said, ''there are too many gadgets, but no place to sit down!''.
So Dheer bought an electric chair for her....👏😆( she really needs tht Samar,now ur not blind)😆
3)..During their Silver Anniversary, Ambica reminded Narpar,''Do you remember when you proposed to me, i was so overwhelmed that i din't talk for an hour?''
Narpat replied:-''Yes honey, that was the happiest hour of my life''..👏😆(bilkul sahi bola,)😆
4)...At a Silver wedding Anniversary, Narpat was standing in a corner looking very sad.
''What's the matter?''asked his friend.
''Well, a week after marriage, i got fed up and wanted to kill my wife Ambica, but my lawyer said that i would get 25 years.Now i realised that today i would have been free man.''😆👏😆(she's too Nagging wife)
5)..Samar to Kaveri:-''Where do you want to go on our Anniversary?''
Kaveri:-''Somewhere,i have never been!''
Samar:-''How about the Kitchen?''😆(haila, samar ko dimaag aa gaya)..😆
set_raj..😆
More jokes on Dheer...
1--Brijesh : "Have you ever read Shakespeare?"
Dheer : "No, who wrote it?" ...😆
2-- Why did Dheer stare at the frozen Orange Juice Can for 2 hours?
A: Because it said 'concentrate'. ..😆😆..
3)..Q: What did Dheer do when his wife Aditi gave birth to twins?
A: He is out looking for the other man. 😆😆😆..
4--Then there's the one about Dheer who brought his binoculars to a funeral where they were going to bury a distant relative ...😆😆😆
5)..Dheer gets an opportunity to fly to a nearby country. He has never been on an airplane anywhere and gets excited and tense. As soon as he boards the plane, a Boeing 747, he started jumping in excitement, running from seat to seat and shouting, 'BOEING!BOEING!! BOEING!!! BO....'.
The pilot in the cockpit hears the noise and annoyed by what's goings on, he comes out and shouts, 'BE SILENT!'
There's pin-drop silence every where and everybody looks at Dheer. He stares at the pilot in silence for a few seconds and then starts shouting, 'OEING ! OEING!! OEING!!!OE...' 😆😆
.Raj.
Hilarious and Funny Shayaris....😛😊😛
Here are some funniest shayaris, read and enjoy and post ur comments and you can post some shayaris if you would like to..thanks.
1)..Nahar to Chandni...
Arz kiya hai....................
tere liye kuch bhi kar sakta hoon,
lekin abhi mujhe kuch kaam hai,
tere liye sagar me doob sakta hoon
lekin aaj mujhe zukaam Hai.....😆
Ankhon main jitne ishare hain
'Samander ke jitne kinare hai.
'utne screw dheele tumhare hain"..:-
3)..Shubra to Chamki.
har gali har deewar par tera naam hai,
upar likha hai CHAPPAL CHOR
aur neeche 5 rupaye ka inaam hai....😆(wah shubra wah..)
naazneenon se,
dilnasheenon se,
jaanasheenon se...
par inhe kaun bachaye hum kameenon se...😆😆(wah kameenon..)
Sone Ko Sona Kat ta hai...
zaher ko zaher kat ta hai...
Isliye aapko Kutta katega.....😆😆(matlab PS ku..a......hai)...👏
Aye dost tu bhi likha kar shayri...
Meri tarah tera bhi naam ho jayega,
log fekenge ande tamatar,
To raat ki sabji ka intezaam ho jayega... 👏 😆
2)Nahar to Chandni:-
If ever in your life you are very sad & lonely
& feel that you have lost every thing,
I will come, Hold your hand,
take you for Walk on a Bridge & Show you where to jump From... 😆
3)Shubra to Chamki:-
Chand pe kali ghata to aati to hogi,
Sitaaron ko muskurahat aati to hogi,
Tum laakh chupao duniya se magar,
Akele me tumhe apni shakal pe hansi aati to hogi 😆 😆 😆
4)Kunjan to Chamki:-
From Moon to Sun, From Jan To Dec,
From birth till my death, my feelings for you
have never changed.
For me, you've always been…
a headache !
5)Samar to Kaveri:-
Ek hawa ka jhonka sa aaya,
To laga jaise ke tum aayi ho,
Darwaze par kisi ki aahat se hui,
To laga jaise ke tum aayi ho,
Ab tum hi bataoo,
Kya tum kisi bhootni se kam ho.. 😆 😆 😆
1).Koi mujhse puchhe meri mushkilon ko
Sambhalti nahin mujhse begum sambhle
Sasur jee ko main aaj kehkar rehungaa
'Tumhari amanat ab tumhare hawale'.... 😆 😆
2).Jee chahta hai teri zulfon ko jalaa doon
Kahin se maachis lakar inmein aag lagaa doon
Na rehengi zulfein, na tum bhaav khaaogi
Apna ganja sar lekar kahan jaogi...😆 😆
3)..The positive thinking poem.
Little birdy in the sky,
You look up and it shits in your eye.
You don't mind and you don't cry,
You just thank God that cows don't fly.
Kunjan to Chamki:-
4)..Ek ladki thi diwani si, sunder si, lambi si,
Nazren jhooka ke, sharma ke galiyon se guzarti,
Latak-Matak kar chalti thi aur kaha karti thi..
Bartan le lo…Bartan!!😆
Nahar to Chandni and PS:-
5)..dil mein basi hai yaad teri,
aankhon mein basi hai tasveer teri ,
jab bhi aati hai yaad teri ,
dekh lete hain TOM and JERRY....😆😆
1--Kaveri to Dheer....
Tumko dekha....tumko dekha...
tumko dekha....to yeh khayal aaya
paaglon ke stock mein naya maal aaya!..😆😆😆
2--aditi to Dheer..
Dekha tujhe to rooh khush ho gayi,
Ek kami thi woh bhi puri ho gayi,
Pagal hain woh log jo kehte hain ki,
Chimpanzee ki aakhri nasal kahin kho gayi!!
Hello friends, here are some of the funniest remarks said in shayaris by these funny characters to each other...since the serial has become more torturing, so lets have some fun with these shayaris..
1)..Kunjan to Chamki:--
..Kya aankhen hai, Kya chehra hai,
Kya husn aapne paaya hai,
Aisa lagta hai jaise pipal ke ped se,
Bhoot utar aaya hai!!!👏😆(kya jhakaas bola mamoo)..😆
2)..Samar says to Kaveri:--seeing kaveri reading...
..A baby monkey asked his mother -
"Why do we look so ugly??"
Mother replied - Thank God! we are
still better, Just look at the person reading!!!😆😆
3)..Dheer says to Kunjan:--
..God granted me one wish. I asked for WORLD PEACE,
God said - Impossible!! Ask something else.
I asked him to make you intelligent,
He said - Wait! Let me try for WORLD PEACE.😆😆
4)..Narpat to Ambica:--
..You are 20% Fantastic, You are 20% Attractive,
You are 20% Loveable, You are 20% Talented,
You are 20% Understanding, In short,
You are 100% F.A.L.T.U.!!!😆👏(kya sahi bola mamoo)😆
5)..Nahar says to Chandni:--
..Aapki yaad mein maine kalam uthaai,
Liya kagaz aur aapki tasvir banaai,
Socha dil se lagakar rakh lenge us tasvir ko,
Par woh BACHHON ko darane ke kaam aayi!!!👏👏(sahi bola mamoo, ekdum chudail hai)..😆
1--why did dheer take his pregnant wife aditi to pizza-hut?
Ans.:-Because they advertised ''free-delivery''..😆😆😆
2--Letter from mother to her son dheer. Pyare bete, khamba ganni. I am writing this letter slow, because I know you can't read fast. We do not live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen 20 miles from your home, so we moved. I wont be able to send you the address as the last rajput who stayed here took the numbers with them for their next house, so they would not have to change their address. This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I am not sure it works too well. Last week I put 3 shirts, pulled the chain and haven't seen them since then. The weather here isn't too bad. It rained only twice last week. The first time it rained 3 days, and the second time for 4 days. The coat you wanted me to send you, your aunt said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with all the buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pocket. We got another bill from the funeral home. It said if we don't make the last payment on grandma's funeral, he will come up again. Your father has another job. He has 500 men under him. He is cutting grass at the cemetery . Your sister had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether it's a girl or a boy, so I don't know whether you are an Aunt or Uncle. Your uncle Jatinder fell in a whisky vat. Some men tried pulling him out, but he fought them off and drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days. There is not much more news this time. Nothing much has happened. LoveMom. P.S. I was going to send you some money but the envelope was already sealed.😆😆😆
Hello friends here are some jokes on Kunjan and a thriller story...with hilarious climax....read it..😆
1)When the Chandni's father PS came to know about their love, he did not like it at all, and so began to protest about it. Now it happened that the two lovers decided to leave their homes for a happy future.
Chandni's father started searching for
the two lovers but could not find them. At last, he accepted their love and asked them to come back home thru a local newspaper. Her father said "If you both come back I will allow you to marry the guy you love, I accept that you loved each other truly."
So in this way, their love won and they returned home. The couple next day went to town to shop
for the wedding dress. Nahar was dressed in a white shirt that day. While he was crossing the road to the other side to get some drinks for his wife Chandni, a car came and hit him and he died on the spot.
Chandni was devastated and lost her senses. It was only after sometime that she recovered from her shock. The funeral and cremation was the very next day because he had died horribly.
Two nights later, Chandni's mother had a dream in which she saw an old lady. The old lady asked her mother to wash the blood stains of the guy from her daughter's dress as soon as possible. But her
mother ignored the dream.
The next night her father PS had the same dream, he also ignored it. Then the Chandni had the same dream the next night, she woke up in fear and told her mother about the dream. Her mother asked her to wash the clothes with the blood stains immediately. She washed the stains but some remained. Next night she again had the same dream. She again washed the stains but some still remained. But again the next night she had the same dream and this time the old lady gave her a last warning to wash the blood stain, or else something terrible would happen.
This time Chandni tried her best to wash the stains, and the clothes nearly tore, but some stains still remained. She was very tired. In the late evening the same day while she was alone at home, someone knocked on the door. When she opened the door she saw the same old lady of her dream standing at her door. She got very scared and fainted.
The old lady woke her up... and gave her a blue object, which shocked Chandni. She asked "What is this...?" The old lady replied...
"This is Nirma Washing Powder"
"Washing powder nirma,Washing powder
nirma
Doodh si safedi nirma se aaye, 😆
Rangeen kapde bhi khil khil jaye, 😆
sabki pasand nirma 😆
Washing powder nirma,Washing powder
nirma.Nirma"
10rupaiye ka 1, do pe ek free..😆😆😆
(Arre mamoo apun sab ka waat lagaa diya, itna suspence create kiya aur end mein....hilaa ke rakh diya...jhakaas..)
2) Friend: How many women do you believe must a man marry?
Kunjan: 16 (he attended a catholic wedding of his friend)
Friend: Why?
Kunjan: Because the priest says 4 richer, 4 poorer, 4 better and 4 worse...😆(sahi jaa raha hai mamoo tu)
3) Doctor: I regret to tell you that you have a brain tumor.
Kunjan: Yesss!!! (jumps in joy)
Doctor: Did you understand what I just told you?
Kunjan: Yes of course, do you think I'm dumb?
Doctor: Then why are you so happy?
Kunjan: Because that proves that I have a brain!😆 (yeh langoor ko abhi pata chala..)
4) Kunjan standing below a tube light with a open mouth.........WHY?
Because his doctor advised him "Today's dinner should be light".....😆(mast dieting kar rahela baap)
5) Kunjan was standing in front of the mirror with his eyes closed.
His wife Shubra asked: what you are doing? He said: i'm seeing how i look while sleeping.....😆(tu toh paagal hai, tu nikamma hai..boley toh fultoo paagal)
Kunjan ka Kamaal ka Letter...😆😆
This is the letter when Kunjan went to USA, he wrote to Dheer, since they are great buddies. Read it carefully all of you...and enjoy.😆
Dear brother Dheer,
greetings to respectful parents. I am hoping all is well with health and wealth. I am fine at my end. Hoping your end is fine too. With God's grace and parents' blessings I am arriving safely in America and finding good apartment near University. Kindly assure mother that I am strictly consuming vegetarian food only in restaurants though I am not knowing if cooks are Brahmins. I hope parents' prayers are residing with me.
Younger brother, I am having so many things to tell you that I am not knowing where to sart. Most surprising thing about America is it is full of Americans. Everywhere Americans, Americans, big and white, it is little frightening. The flight from New Delhi to New York is arriving safely thanks to God's grace and Parents' prayers and mine too. I am not able to go to bathroom whole time because I am sitting in corner seat as per revered grandmother's wish. Father is rightly scolding that airplane is flying too high to have good view. Still please tell her I have done needful.
But, brother, in next two seats are sitting two old gentle ladies and if I am getting up then they are put in lot of botheration so I am not getting up for except when plane is stopping for one hour in London. Many foods are being served in carts but I am only eating cashew nuts and bread because I am not knowing what is food and what is meat.I am having a good time drinking 40 glasses of Coca-Cola.
They are rolling down a screen and showing a film but I am not listening because air hostess ladies are selling head phones for 2 dollars which is Rs.60 and in our beloved Jodhpur town we can sit in balcony seats in Regal Talkies for only Rs.3. I am asking lady if they are giving student discount but she is too busy. I am also asking her for more Coca-Cola but she is looking like she is weeping and walking away. I think perhaps she is not understanding proper English.
Then I am sleeping long time after London and when I am waking it is like we are flying over sea of lights. Everywhere, brother, as far as I am seeing there are lights lights. It is like God has made carpet of lights. Then we are landing in New York and plane is going right upto door so that we are not having to walk in cold. I must say Americans are very advanced. And as I am leaving aeroplane, air hostess is giving me one more can of Coca-Cola. Her two friends are also with her, but why they are laughing so much I do not know. I think these Americans are strange but friendly people in their hearts. I hope she was not laughing for racial. Perhaps she was feeling shy earlier.
Then I am going to long bathroom. As I am leaving I am making first friend in America. This is Negro gentleman named Joe who is standing at door and as I am opening it he is holding out hand so I am shaking it and telling him my name and he is tellng me his. I am telling him if he is ever coming to Jodhpur he can ask for National Hair Oil Factory. If I have not returned from Higher Studies please tell father that if negro gentleman named Joe is visiting Jodhpur he may kindly do needful.
In this way I feel each and every one of us is serving as Ambassador of our beloved Motherland. Joe is doubtful I feel because he says "Far out, man, far out", but I am reassuring him that India is only 16 hours away by plane and that is not very far. I think he is accepting this because he is not saying anything any more.
Next I go to place marked " Baggage" as Father has advised and suddenly place I am sitting starts to move throwing me. It is like python we once saw in forest, only rattling and with luggage bouncing on its back and sometimes leaping to attack passengers. I am also throwing myself on bag before it is escaping. I think if I am not wrestling it down it would revert to plane and back home to India. I am only joking of course. Before this I am meeting very friendly gentleman at Immigration desk. I do not know why all relatives had warned against this man, bacause he is so friendly. He is talking English strangely but is having kind heart because he is asking me about nuts and I am saying that I am liking very much and eating many on plane. "Totally, totally nutss," he is saying, which I feel American expression for someone fond of cashewnuts. Before this he is showing friendliness by asking "How is it going?" I am telling his fully and frankly about all problems and hopes, even though you may feel that as American he may be too selfish to bother about decline in price of hair oil in Jodhpur town. But, brother, he is listening very quietely with eyes on me for ten minutes and then we are having friendly talk about nuts and he is wanting me to go.
At Customs, brother, I am getting big shock. One fat man is grunting at me and looking cleverly from small eyes. "First visit?" he is asking, "Yes," I am agreeing "Move on," he is saying making chalk marks on bags. As I am picking up bags he is looking directly at me and saying "Watch your ass." Now, brother, this is wonderful. How he is knowing we are purchasing donkey? I think they are knowing everything about everybody who is coming to America.
They are not allowing anybody without knowing his family and financial status and other things. And we are only buying donkey two days before my departure. I think they are keeping all information in computers. Really these Americans are too advanced.
But, brother, now I am worrying. Supposing this is CIA keeping watch or else how they can know about our donkey? Anyway please do not tell Mother and Father or they are worrying, but lock all doors and windows.If CIA wants to recruit me to be spy in Jodhpur, I will gladly take poison before betraying our Motherland. Then I am going out and cousins are waiting and receiving me warmly. I will write soon after settling down.
Your brother
Kunjan.
Jokes on Dheer Kunjan Abhi and Samar....😆😆
Hello friends , here are some new jokes on Char chakram.
1)..Kunjan is the english teacher in a school. He is very well renowned for all his students do very well in exams. The school is having an inspection and the inspector decided to visit the english class.This is what transpires :
Kunjan : "Bolo bachon GADHA"
Students (in chorous) : "GADHA "
Kunjan : "Bolo bachon GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA"
Students (in chorous) : "GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA"
Kunjan : "Bolo bachon GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE MEIN"
Students (in chorous) : "GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE MEIN"
Kunjan : "Bolo bachon GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE MEIN, MERE PECHE SAARA DESH"
Students (in chorous) : "GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE MAI AUR MERE PECHE SAARA DESH"
By this time the inspector is furious. He confronts the principal and shouts at him "What is this Kunjan teaching his students. He is supposed to be taking an english class and what he is saying is GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE MAI AUR MERE PECHE SAARA DESH.
The principal too is shocked, the famous english teacher doing this.
Principal : "Kunjan, what nonsense are you telling these students "GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE MAI AUR MERE PECHE SAARA DESH".
Kunjan : "Yes i was telling all this in class, but i was only teaching the students the spelling and meaning of ASSASSINATION. ASS - ASS - I - NATION (GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE MAI AUR MERE PECHE SAARA DESH) ...😆
2)..Once Samar was upset.
Abhi asked him the reason why he was so sad.
Samar explained that he has to remember so many essays for the class work and if he does not remember then the teacher scolded him every time.
Abhi thought for quite some time and explained to him that it was very easy, for example he has to memorize essays of persons he should memorize only one, with change of name and other minor changes he will be able to narrate essay of every person.
It looked very convincing to Samar and he memorized the essay "My Best Friend".
Next day the teacher asked him to narrate the essay " My Father".
Samar was very happy that now he could do it easily. He started," I have many fathers but Narpat is my best father. He lives in the next lane to us. He visits our house very often. My mother also loves him a lot and is proud that I have Narpat as my real father." 😆😆😆😆😆...
3)..Samar, Dheer and Kunjan were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building. They were eating lunch and the Dheer said, "Palak Paneer and Daal ! If I get Daal and cabbage one more time for lunch I'm going to jump off this building"
Kunjan opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Baingan bartha again! If I get baingan bartha one more time I'm going to jump off, too."
Samar opened his lunch and said, "Aloo gobi and Paratha again. If I get a Aloo gobi and paratha one more time I'm jumping too."
The next day the Dheer opened his lunch box, saw Daal and cabbage and jumped to his death.
Kunjan opened his lunch, saw baingan bartha and jumped too.
Samar opened his lunch, saw the Aloo Gobi and Paratha and jumped to his death as well.
At the funeral the Dheer's wife Aditi was weeping. She said, "If I'd known how really tired he was of Daal and cabbage I never would have given it to him again!"
Kunjan's wife Shubra also wept and said, "I could have given him Palak Paneer ! I didn't realize he hated baingan bartha so much.
"Everyone turned and stared at the Samar's wife Kaveri
............are you ready for it?....................
"Hey, don't look at me," she said, "that moron used to makes his own lunch."😆😆
4)..Pia came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, "Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!"Abhi said, "Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?" "Doesn't matter," she said. "You, Just get out."😆
5)..Abhi: Is there any way for long life?Dr: Get married.
Abhi: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.
Thanks
Set_raj.
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