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Kanika Kapoor: I am just a simple small town girl who has been through a lot
Priya Gupta,TNN | Mar 10, 2015, 12.00 AM IST
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Kanika Kapoor, 33, has been through a lot in life. While the song Baby Doll changed her life forever, she opens up to Bombay Times about her best and worst times with ex-husband Raj Chandok, her most supportive father and why she can never forgive Dr Zeus for what he has done to her. Excerpts:
Tell us about your background?
I am a Khatri, who was born and brought up in Lucknow. We were pretty well off and had a big traditional joint business family. I fell in love with my Punjabi ex-husband Raj Chandok, who was my London cousin's best friend. I met Raj at my cousin's wedding at Khajuraho. I got married to Raj and moved to London when I was only 18. I was a normal papad achaar housewife, had three kids and was happy playing a mother to them, till we separated about five years ago and finally divorced three years back. Raj and his family are a family of doctors. They own a chain of nursing homes and have a property company past 35 years and are very wealthy. I travelled the world and saw a good life with him. But decided to move on, as he was with someone else. Now we have come to terms with our divorce and are back to being friends. He is the father of my children and is now supportive of everything I do.
How did Baby Doll happen?
I grew up learning classical music right from the age of six. At 11, I was singing pure classical on the All India Radio. At 12, I started doing shows with Anup Jalota, who is like a second father to me as he is my father's childhood friend from Lucknow. At 17, I came to Mumbai to launch myself as an artiste and cut an album with Lalit Sen. I have done my Masters in music, so I can read, write and teach Indian classical music. I had converted my garage in Lucknow into a studio, where I would sing and record. I had no plans to get married, but I fell in love with Raj. My mother was really happy as he was both, educated and rich, and she was only too thrilled that I would not get into Bollywood. So, I turned into a proud housewife, but still loved singing. On my tenth wedding anniversary, I asked him for a present. We were sort of going through this turmoil in our relationship, as he was cheating on me. I was very upset, he said sorry and admitted to it being a mistake. We decided to renew our vows. I told him, 'I don't want any diamonds or any other present. I just want to record my own album.' That had been a dream for me. He agreed. We looked for a producer and found Dr Zeus (real name Baljit Singh Padam from Birmingham). He said he would charge us 5,000 pounds per song and would make me an album of eight songs. He is basically someone who is an arranger, who only knows how to put a beat. Raj paid him the money and I started going to his studio once a week in Birmingham to record. One year passed and he could not make a new song for me. A year later, I was really depressed and started going through a bad period. Raj's girlfriend, who was also married and a Pakistani, came in front of me and said, 'Stop your husband if you can.' I even spoke to her husband, but he didn't believe me. Raj and I would fight all the time and for 2-3 months, I did not go to the studio. Eventually, a friend of mine introduced me to a song, Jugni, originally sung by Arif Lohar of Pakistan, and I got Dr Zeus to remix the song against my vocals. We made a cheap green video with me, Dr Zeus and some dancers against my ex-husband's Ferrari in flat 10 hours and put it up as a free download. This was January 2012. The video became a big hit and got three millions hits. By July, Raj and I had separated and in October, I won the best British Asian award. I have known Manmeet (who is like my rakhi brother) from Meet Brothers from when I was a child in Lucknow, as he was with my older brother in Scindia boarding school. We have jammed together as kids. Early 2013, I got a call from him saying that Ekta Kapoor had heard my voice in Jugni and liked it and I had been called for a trial for Baby Doll. I was going through a dark, dirty, awful divorce at that time and was completely down and felt suicidal. Not only had I been rejected as a girl by my husband, after the success of Jugni, the world started spreading shitty rumours about me, of how I had left my husband and was allegedly dating a dirty uncle that was completely false. That really put me down even more. People in my social circle stopped talking to me and I was discarded as a person from society. But I learnt a lot at that time and today, I am a totally different person.
How have you and your life changed now?
From a simple middle class girl in Lucknow, I became a part of London's high society, where all I did was bitch over Nobu lunches and lived at the plush apartment in Central London at Mayfair. Marriage exposed me to a fancy life of another level and that kind of took over me. I was materialistic, egoistic, vain and was full of myself, to the extent of being borderline arrogant. The money, the kids, the lifestyle all made me stay with my husband for a long time, till it became too much to go through personally. I am actually a normal simple-hearted small town girl, who has been exposed to a lot and has been through a lot very early in life. I am extremely hard-working and extremely passionate. I now live with my three kids (one son who is 11, and two daughters who are 10 and 7 years old) at a small apartment in Knightsbridge. My mother has moved to London and the both of us look after my kids
Who was your emotional anchor?
I have a spiritual guru in London past six years, who I would go to every week and cry in front of and all he ever said to me even in my worst was, 'It's all okay. It's not a big deal. You still have so much.' Also, my parents and brother really supported me. My mother is today my best friend. My father is my backbone. Seeing me have a nervous breakdown, he suffered a severe heart attack and almost died. But I remember once when I was 26 and depressed as hell, I asked him what can I do now. After my third baby, I was more than chubby with curly hair, was wearing a pink Chanel jacket suit with big diamonds in my ears and he said to me, 'Kanika, you have become a Punjabi aunty at 26. Why don't you get up and do something that you love? Maybe that will bring you happiness.' Today, I am not into Chanel bags, but I am happy. My kids today are so proud of me. They are innocent, but mature, good children. And we are friends and we are growing up together.
How did you feel winning the Filmfare award for best singer?
Winning a Filmfare was very prestigious and it changed my world. All the Punjabi aunties back in London, who probably called me a call girl, now meet me, take photos with me and post them on their Facebook accounts saying, 'We are very proud of you Kanika Kapoor.' And you know, I feel really sad. I sometimes cry because I know that I am alone. I had been used to a very fancy life, but from living in Central London it suddenly became from hero to zero. And honestly, I started working to support myself. From travelling in a Ferrari, I have no car right now. My last car given to me by me ex-husband was a Range Rover, that too got stolen in the week of Baby Doll. I could not come for the launch of Baby Doll music to India as I was in hospital. I was very ill and had to undergo surgery. I literally touched the lowest in my life. And post the release of the song, within a month, my life just changed. Since then, I must be working 14 hours a day along with trying to being a mother. I have forgotten about what the world thinks and what people have to say about me. Today, I just focus on my work. I know that it is now or never. I started working to just secure myself financially. I didn't want to be someone's mistress. I didn't want to constantly go and ask my parents and brother for money to buy an expensive bag. I could never have imagined that from being a Punjabi aunty with three children, I could have ever become a pop star. And on top, I had that terrible reputation and that too for not having done anything wrong, except suffering from middle class morality as they say. And I didn't have a boyfriend. I have not had a man since I left my ex-husband. I'd love to have a man and proudly show him off. I deserve a man who will be nice to me, and look after me and respect me. I couldn't believe when I sang Baby Doll and it became a hit. I feel that the song was made to change my life. I knew no one in Mumbai, had no PR, but I felt like there was someone looking after me. I don't know how things are happening to me. But I do know that I am a sincere and hard-working person.
Talk about your relationship with Dr Zeus today?
Meet Brothers sent Baby Doll to 3-4 arrangers for a beat idea as they do for every song. They did not finally choose the beat Dr Zeus sent. For Dr Zeus to say that I am the producer of the song is bullshit. What made me more angry was that he had taken 40,000 pounds from me and wasted my time. At least when I was married, I had the money, but he knew about my downfall and knew that this album could have got me work. But even then, he wasted my time and did not make any songs for me. He fooled me and then he turned around to me and said that his manager Vivek Nair had taken all that money and left. So, he was sorry and that he couldn't make the album. I thought he is wrong. He had taken white money from me. Then without my permission, he took my voice, put my name on iTunes and sold my song Jugni without my consent and made money on it. He is a complete cheat in your face. He thought this girl is so weak anyways what will she do to me. So I have nothing to do with him now. He had cheated me at my lowest and I know that God will punish him someday.
Priya Gupta,TNN | Mar 10, 2015, 12.00 AM IST
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Kanika Kapoor, 33, has been through a lot in life. While the song Baby Doll changed her life forever, she opens up to Bombay Times about her best and worst times with ex-husband Raj Chandok, her most supportive father and why she can never forgive Dr Zeus for what he has done to her. Excerpts:
Tell us about your background?
I am a Khatri, who was born and brought up in Lucknow. We were pretty well off and had a big traditional joint business family. I fell in love with my Punjabi ex-husband Raj Chandok, who was my London cousin's best friend. I met Raj at my cousin's wedding at Khajuraho. I got married to Raj and moved to London when I was only 18. I was a normal papad achaar housewife, had three kids and was happy playing a mother to them, till we separated about five years ago and finally divorced three years back. Raj and his family are a family of doctors. They own a chain of nursing homes and have a property company past 35 years and are very wealthy. I travelled the world and saw a good life with him. But decided to move on, as he was with someone else. Now we have come to terms with our divorce and are back to being friends. He is the father of my children and is now supportive of everything I do.
How did Baby Doll happen?
I grew up learning classical music right from the age of six. At 11, I was singing pure classical on the All India Radio. At 12, I started doing shows with Anup Jalota, who is like a second father to me as he is my father's childhood friend from Lucknow. At 17, I came to Mumbai to launch myself as an artiste and cut an album with Lalit Sen. I have done my Masters in music, so I can read, write and teach Indian classical music. I had converted my garage in Lucknow into a studio, where I would sing and record. I had no plans to get married, but I fell in love with Raj. My mother was really happy as he was both, educated and rich, and she was only too thrilled that I would not get into Bollywood. So, I turned into a proud housewife, but still loved singing. On my tenth wedding anniversary, I asked him for a present. We were sort of going through this turmoil in our relationship, as he was cheating on me. I was very upset, he said sorry and admitted to it being a mistake. We decided to renew our vows. I told him, 'I don't want any diamonds or any other present. I just want to record my own album.' That had been a dream for me. He agreed. We looked for a producer and found Dr Zeus (real name Baljit Singh Padam from Birmingham). He said he would charge us 5,000 pounds per song and would make me an album of eight songs. He is basically someone who is an arranger, who only knows how to put a beat. Raj paid him the money and I started going to his studio once a week in Birmingham to record. One year passed and he could not make a new song for me. A year later, I was really depressed and started going through a bad period. Raj's girlfriend, who was also married and a Pakistani, came in front of me and said, 'Stop your husband if you can.' I even spoke to her husband, but he didn't believe me. Raj and I would fight all the time and for 2-3 months, I did not go to the studio. Eventually, a friend of mine introduced me to a song, Jugni, originally sung by Arif Lohar of Pakistan, and I got Dr Zeus to remix the song against my vocals. We made a cheap green video with me, Dr Zeus and some dancers against my ex-husband's Ferrari in flat 10 hours and put it up as a free download. This was January 2012. The video became a big hit and got three millions hits. By July, Raj and I had separated and in October, I won the best British Asian award. I have known Manmeet (who is like my rakhi brother) from Meet Brothers from when I was a child in Lucknow, as he was with my older brother in Scindia boarding school. We have jammed together as kids. Early 2013, I got a call from him saying that Ekta Kapoor had heard my voice in Jugni and liked it and I had been called for a trial for Baby Doll. I was going through a dark, dirty, awful divorce at that time and was completely down and felt suicidal. Not only had I been rejected as a girl by my husband, after the success of Jugni, the world started spreading shitty rumours about me, of how I had left my husband and was allegedly dating a dirty uncle that was completely false. That really put me down even more. People in my social circle stopped talking to me and I was discarded as a person from society. But I learnt a lot at that time and today, I am a totally different person.
How have you and your life changed now?
From a simple middle class girl in Lucknow, I became a part of London's high society, where all I did was bitch over Nobu lunches and lived at the plush apartment in Central London at Mayfair. Marriage exposed me to a fancy life of another level and that kind of took over me. I was materialistic, egoistic, vain and was full of myself, to the extent of being borderline arrogant. The money, the kids, the lifestyle all made me stay with my husband for a long time, till it became too much to go through personally. I am actually a normal simple-hearted small town girl, who has been exposed to a lot and has been through a lot very early in life. I am extremely hard-working and extremely passionate. I now live with my three kids (one son who is 11, and two daughters who are 10 and 7 years old) at a small apartment in Knightsbridge. My mother has moved to London and the both of us look after my kids
Who was your emotional anchor?
I have a spiritual guru in London past six years, who I would go to every week and cry in front of and all he ever said to me even in my worst was, 'It's all okay. It's not a big deal. You still have so much.' Also, my parents and brother really supported me. My mother is today my best friend. My father is my backbone. Seeing me have a nervous breakdown, he suffered a severe heart attack and almost died. But I remember once when I was 26 and depressed as hell, I asked him what can I do now. After my third baby, I was more than chubby with curly hair, was wearing a pink Chanel jacket suit with big diamonds in my ears and he said to me, 'Kanika, you have become a Punjabi aunty at 26. Why don't you get up and do something that you love? Maybe that will bring you happiness.' Today, I am not into Chanel bags, but I am happy. My kids today are so proud of me. They are innocent, but mature, good children. And we are friends and we are growing up together.
How did you feel winning the Filmfare award for best singer?
Winning a Filmfare was very prestigious and it changed my world. All the Punjabi aunties back in London, who probably called me a call girl, now meet me, take photos with me and post them on their Facebook accounts saying, 'We are very proud of you Kanika Kapoor.' And you know, I feel really sad. I sometimes cry because I know that I am alone. I had been used to a very fancy life, but from living in Central London it suddenly became from hero to zero. And honestly, I started working to support myself. From travelling in a Ferrari, I have no car right now. My last car given to me by me ex-husband was a Range Rover, that too got stolen in the week of Baby Doll. I could not come for the launch of Baby Doll music to India as I was in hospital. I was very ill and had to undergo surgery. I literally touched the lowest in my life. And post the release of the song, within a month, my life just changed. Since then, I must be working 14 hours a day along with trying to being a mother. I have forgotten about what the world thinks and what people have to say about me. Today, I just focus on my work. I know that it is now or never. I started working to just secure myself financially. I didn't want to be someone's mistress. I didn't want to constantly go and ask my parents and brother for money to buy an expensive bag. I could never have imagined that from being a Punjabi aunty with three children, I could have ever become a pop star. And on top, I had that terrible reputation and that too for not having done anything wrong, except suffering from middle class morality as they say. And I didn't have a boyfriend. I have not had a man since I left my ex-husband. I'd love to have a man and proudly show him off. I deserve a man who will be nice to me, and look after me and respect me. I couldn't believe when I sang Baby Doll and it became a hit. I feel that the song was made to change my life. I knew no one in Mumbai, had no PR, but I felt like there was someone looking after me. I don't know how things are happening to me. But I do know that I am a sincere and hard-working person.
Talk about your relationship with Dr Zeus today?
Meet Brothers sent Baby Doll to 3-4 arrangers for a beat idea as they do for every song. They did not finally choose the beat Dr Zeus sent. For Dr Zeus to say that I am the producer of the song is bullshit. What made me more angry was that he had taken 40,000 pounds from me and wasted my time. At least when I was married, I had the money, but he knew about my downfall and knew that this album could have got me work. But even then, he wasted my time and did not make any songs for me. He fooled me and then he turned around to me and said that his manager Vivek Nair had taken all that money and left. So, he was sorry and that he couldn't make the album. I thought he is wrong. He had taken white money from me. Then without my permission, he took my voice, put my name on iTunes and sold my song Jugni without my consent and made money on it. He is a complete cheat in your face. He thought this girl is so weak anyways what will she do to me. So I have nothing to do with him now. He had cheated me at my lowest and I know that God will punish him someday.
Anupamaa
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