Hi guys, there it is the chap 4, in this you will learn a bit of Asad and Zoya's past, it's a bit emotional. Anyway, I hope you all going to like it😉
Chap 4
The day after
Zoya woke up early this morning, she couldn't sleep well, she kept dreaming about Asad all night, all the event of the last day never left her in peace. It happened often those last nights, that she kept dreaming about him. He haunted her sleep, her thoughts and soon may be her heart. She didn't want to let him, she can't let him go that further. The image that comes up often was the kiss they shared, that kiss awakened in her a hidden desire, awakened in her the woman she hid from everyone. Unfortunately, this was not her first kiss with a man, but if she had to compare all the kisses she had with Sufiaan, Sarah's father, those kisses looked pale in front of this one kiss and what she felt. Closing her eyes, she brushed her lips, the sensation erupted inside of her like a volcano, it was still alive and her skin still remembered everything. She wiped the hair with a towel when suddenly the doorbell rang.
-so early ? She opened the door and stood in front of her, the reason of her sleepless night. Asad stood there smiling, holding a big bag smelling coffee and muffins.
-Hi Miss Farooqui, I bring breakfast, may I come ?
-yes, of course.
-where can I put this ?
-Give me, she went to the kitchen and he followed her.
-Mister Khan , you were supposed to be discharge tonight,
-Miss Farooqui, I bring some chocolate, blueberry, vanilla muffin, which is your favorite one ?
-what ? Don't change the topic ? Why ?
-what it's your favorite one ?
-chocolate, so can you answer why did mmmff. Zoya was shocked, he closed her mouth by putting a small piece of chocolate muffin. She quickly chewed and asked again. Mister Khan, why did you mmm. And he repeated his action again.
-you like it ? he teased her
She extanded her hand to his neck and he stepped back.
-don't hurt me or I will fall down, I'm weak man, you remembered ? He said with an angelic look. She growled in frustration and took the muffin from his hand.
-Good girl, Miss Farooqui, you're smelling so good, as I see you took your shower.
-woow, what an insight you have
-thank you for recognizing my talent, when did you take your shower ?
-five minute ago
-Oh, if I knew I would have come 5 minute ago
-Mis-ter Asad Ahmed Khan, she shouted outrageous
-what ? See I want to preserve water for my children and you, it was just about ecology, sharing water will hurt noone, it was only water.
-I see that you recover really well
-Yes, Miss Farooqui, I'm feeling so fine and so happy today
-may I know what makes you happy ?
-You
-Me ?
-yes, but now I'm so sad, because I missed to share a shower with you, she glared at him, I mean water, just water for saving our world.
-you will never change, she rolled her eyes
-if I change, you will miss my old me, Miss Farooqui, I know deep down you like this side of me, he said proudly
-in your dreams, Mister Khan
-but you are already in my dreams, Miss Farooqui, he said softly
She stared at him and wanted to say that he was also in her dreams, but she can't let him and she refused to succumb at this call. Asad can see that she wanted to come close but she always stopped at the last seconds. He couldn't count anymore how much he saw this in her eyes, this continuous turnoil that she fought each time, he knew that he touched her heart, but stubborn like she was, she pushed him and her feelings. He didn't want to force, not yet, she wasn't ready for a drastic step, he did it one time and she slapped him. It was not the good time.
-Zoya, where is Salim ? I want to see him.
-Come with me.
Asad sat on the bed, caressing softly Salim's hair, and Zoya stood silently in the edge of the door watching them. He kissed his son. Salim stired from his sleep and rubbed his eyes :
-abbu ?
-yes, beta, Salim held on him and Asad kissed him on his cheeks and rubbed him softly.
Zoya sighed and looked dreamily at them, each time, she wanted to push his image from her mind, it always happened a moment in time who blew away all her rules and her banning, like now. She already saw this but each time, the feelings were still the same.
-we are going home, Salim, he nodded slowly at his father, letting all his weight on his body.
Asad took Salim and came to Zoya.
-thank you so much, Zoya, for everything
-you're welcome, she rubbed Salim's hair, but accidentally, she touched Asad's cheek or he may did it on purpose. She jerked quickly. She accompagnied him to the door and both stood in opposite, she was waiting for him to leave but he didn't move.
-Miss Farooqui, I want to organize a picnic, will you and Sarah join us next week ? He asked shyly, he didn't want her to refuse
-Mister khan, I don't think, it's a good idea,
-why ?
-because you need to spend time with your son and we will be too much, I guess
-no, please, Miss Farooqui, see Salim love you a lot and I'm sure he will be happy to have both of you.
-Mister Khan, you need to recover first.
-I'm fine and the doctor said I only need one week,
-but Mister Khan...
-are you scared Miss Farooqui ?
-scared ? Me ? Of what ?
-being with me ?
-No, Asad, I'm not , she blushed.
-perfect so let say, next week, at 11 am ? See you bye. And he left quickly without giving her the chance to respond. She smiled at closed the door.
A week later
She woke up early to prepare all the sandwich and the stuff that she needed for the picnic. She was impatient to finish this week to be with him. As much as she convinced herself that she just liked him like a friend, but then the kiss and the feelings revealed her lies. It was close to 11, when someone rang on the door, Sarah went to open and it was Salim on the door. All of them came out and Asad was on the driver seat, with his shades. Even if Zoya could not see his eyes, she knew that he was looking at her because of his smirk. She decided to wear a white dress with straps, reaching her knees with blue belt and she let her hair open with a soft curls. She sat next to him, she looked at him from the corner of her eyes, he matched with her a bit, he was wearing his white shirt leaving 3 first buttons open, revealing his muscular torso and with a simple jeans.
-hi Sarah, he said looking at the mirror,
-hello Uncle
-Hi Zoya
-Hi Mister Khan
-you are breathtaking today, Zoya
-please Mister Khan, don't start, my dress is simple, she rolled her eyes
-Oh God, I don't want to imagine if you put effort, what will happen to my eyes ?
-can we go now ? She blushed
-the pink sweet well your cheeks Miss Farooqui, and he ignited the contact.
On the road
Asad increased the sound of the radio, the song of Gangnam style was turning. He looked at Salim throught the mirror and said :
-Salim, your song
And both started to dance, Zoya grew her eyes widely looking at Asad jumping on his seat and dancing.
-Sarah, princess you know this dance ? She nodded at Asad, So dance with us.
All were moving in unison at the song and moving their hands in the air, while Zoya didn't know what was happening and who to stop. She just laughed loudly at them. The song made some short silent, and during this time, everyone came back to the normal and when the song started again, they jumped again. When the first time , the sentence if sexy lady came, Asad looked at Zoya waggling his eyebrows.
-Ammi, it's you, shouted Sarah from behind, when she heard the word of Sexy.
Zoya glared at Asad frustrated, he just held his both ears to apologize and he returned to dance again.
After 15 min, they reached their destination, and looked for a quiet and good place for both them. They stayed on the bottom of one huge tree and in front of them, there was a small toboggan. The place were quiet and there was a few couple and few family all around the park. Zoya took a book and putted her back against the tree. Asad sat next to her and looked over her shoulders reading her book with her. She turned the page, but he stopped her :
-wait I didn't finish it,he continued to read, now you can, quickly please
She huffed and turned the page.
-Miss Farooqui , how did she die ? He asked
-it's at the beginning of the story
-Oh yes, of course, he took the first page and opened while she was reading
-what are you doing, Asad ?
-I want to know how she died, so I open the first page, he replied like it was obvious
-but I'm reading Mister Khan
-and I'm reading too, I can go futher in the story, if I miss some point of the story
-you know what, take it, she gave him the book.
-but you Miss Farooqui ?
-I will read it later, she crossed her arms on her chest
-I will read it another time, let's talk
-you did it on purpose
-ME ? Never, he smiled mischeviously
-I can't believe it
-so tell me something about you, Zoya, I want to know you
-but I don't want you to know me
-ok, ask me any questions and I will answer, he crossed his legs and came in front of her.
She looked at him with suspicious, she rolled her eyes, she liked his eyes full of sparkles, she couldn't resist at him when he was in with this mood.
-ok, with how many girls you came out ?
-woww, I didn't expect it, ok, you mean serious relation or short ?
-all of them,
Asad tought for a minute and replied : 1 serious and 4 short date
-only 5 ? I can't believe, I thought you will say 100
-100 ? woow, I can be strong but not suicidal, 100, are you mad ? He laughed
-charmer and handsome like you are I thought that... She stopped in her sentence and he smirked
-so you think I'm handsome, woow, your first compliment, I should register you, please say it again
-NO, second question, you have sibblings ?
-yes, I have my ammi, Dilshad Ahmed Khan and my little sister Najma, but she was in Dubai with her husband. My abbu left us, years ago now and he had another family.
-I didn't know that, she was surprised
-well we never had a normal conversation together and by the way, I can't present to you, because she will bring the qazi and married us before we entered her house. He laughed, Ammi want to marry me at any cost and each time I went to see her, she gave me many pictures of girls. I can say that my ammi know a 100 girls not me. Zoya laughed softly, my ammi can be crasy sometimes but I love her. Other question ?
-how did you met your wife ?
-Well, long story, when I was in school, I wasn't a charmer and handsome man like I am now. I had greasy hair, parted in the middle. And I loved having a lock on the front like superman, I thought it gave me a sexy and mysterious air, infact it just gave me a look even moron. I had big glasses and braces.
-I can't believe it , she laughed
-seriously, and when I used to laugh, I sniffed like a pig. Anyway, Ayat was the mosy beautiful girl in the college and I had a big crush on her. But of course, she was with the bad boy of the school. But she was really nice with me, so I proposed her one day in front of everyone, but of course, she made fun of me . So, one of my friend, help me and I change and I became handsome as now. And she saw my changes, she ran after me, but I ignored her, until she told me that she loved me but then happy end.
Zoya crossed her arms, playing with her fingers on her arms.
-you are lying, it remind me the movie : action replay
-oh sh**, did you see this movie ? It's really good, when did you noticed that I lied to you ?
-from the beginning, listen Mister Khan, you could have say that you don't want to answer
-arrange marriage
-what ?
-it was an arrange marriage with Ayat
-arrange marriage ? I didn't expect that
-I know, don't you prefer the action replay version ? She shook her head in no, he sighed, well my ammi was sick at one moment, I mean really sick, she had a heart attack. His voice was shaking with emotion, and she wanted to see me married, so I accepted and i was married with Ayat a week later. My ammi recovered quickly and she was really happy. I understood later that Ayat was in love with me when I was in college but I didn't notice her before our wedding. We had a good life together, she was reserved, nice and respectfull toward me and my family. I developped a soft corner for her day after day and if love means to be happy and secure with someone, so yes, I love her. We lived happy, with ups and downs between two people who are trying to adjust to each other. Salim's pregnancy was very difficult, she was stopped very early from moving, because she had lost a lot of blood. But at childbirth, she had a haemorrhage and did not survive. Salim was in incubator for a few days because of jaundice. I could not leave my son to my mother and it was my son, I had to take care of him. At first it was difficult, I remembered the first time I put his diaper, it was upside down and loosened, and so there was pee everywhere and it smelled. Both laughed at the same time. For the feeding bottle, I didn't know that there were several speeds for the nipple and I did not understand, finally, there were lots of little things that I have learned. At that time it was hard but in hindsight, it's funny.
-why didn't you find another woman ? Salim was young, he wouldn't have miss his mother if you have find someone.
-yes, I agree, this is excatly what my mother said but finding a good woman, it's not easy and I didn't want to have another arrange marriage, I wasn't even ready to accept someone else in my life, I left everything for him. He became my priority. I wanted to be everything for him, I forget my need as a man, and I was satisfy just beeing with him. Everyday was really good with him, it was like I lived with him what I missed with my father. I remembered his first smile, his first word, his first walk, many memories, that I would have miss if another women has take care of him instead of me. When he was 4, here I started feeling alone and I started looking for a women. Women used to escape because I was only talking about my son, and she found me boring, handsome but boring. I felt so old at that moment. I remembered one night, I finally successed by having a woman, she brought me to her house, and she was on the bed and then I couldn't move, like I forget what to do and how to do. I didn't know why, I remembered have just said to her : I have a stomach ache, and I left her on the bed. It was so embarrassing. My other short date was really bad also. I know you can say that I'm a looser. He blushed with embarassement.
- why our date would be different from what you have already experienced ?
-because I know it's going to be different
-how can you be so sure ?
-because I can feel it, Zoya, you have moved something inside of me that even Ayat didn't provoke, especially that kiss and I just know it, I can't explain. It may sound clich but like I know you for so long.
He held her hand in his and they looked at each other, Zoya felt the same too, but she didn't want to confess. His story touched her and she just wanted to hold him next to her heart, but again she did nothing. She looked down.
-See my story was normal and even my story of love was banal, during those last 33 years, I didn't experiment passion in love. I've never lived a story of love like movies, where I was madly or deeply in love and we are just two lovers burning with passion and attraction. He laughed at his jokes
-It' better Mister Khan, Passion kills love slowly, passion is the opposite of what love has to offer. It consumes you, it is destructive, passion turn off all reason and defies logic and does not follow any rule of reason.
-but passion remain important
-I agree but not at any price, not at the price to surrender to illogic and destructive rules
-where is your passion now, Miss Farooqui ?
-trapped in the limbo of a turbulent past, her voice sounded bitter
-why still in the past, Miss Farooqui ?
-to never forget mistakes and to never do it again.
-I disagree, be reconciled with the past allows you to learn from your mistakes and envision better future, but remain trapped in the past, make you a slave to your guilt and push you to escape from a better future.
-The only future that I'm focuss now, it's in front of me, she is my future, her smile, her hapiness, her life are my priority, now, she said looking at Sarah who playing hapilly with Salim.
-what about you, Zoya ? He asked softly
-there is nothing about me, Asad, I'm happy as long as she is happy, I'm her mother and I have to act like this
-what about the woman that you are ?
-this woman has done enough and I think she should stay where she is now, she said angrily
-why are you so angry against yourself ? No matter what happen in your past, you shouldn't be rude toward you, I didn't see you before but what I see now, it's a good human being.
-once you know this part of me, you will change your point of view and you will run away
-I don't think so, Miss Farooqui, I know that no matter what I will not leave
She let out a brief but bitter chuckle.
-Mister Khan, you don't know me. Well, let me tell you who is the person that you tried to charme, I will let you see my past and maybe you will know how you waste your time with me. She looked deeply into his eyes. Asad saw pain and sadness in them and he just wanted to hold her and to stop her from talking. He needed her to talk, to understand her better, but he knew that once she will talk, she will be able to remove this burden that she had in her heart. He didn't say anything and he didn't move, he let her take the lead, and for a change he was quiet.
-I lost my parents at younger age and I don't even remember clearly their face. My uncle and aunt has took care of me, and I consider them as my real parents. God didn't bless them with children and I was their only child. I grown up in a good and full of love family, I was happy, really, it was the most beautiful part of my life. And I love them so much, and I always did the best to make them proud of me, I was always the first in school, always respectfull, my teachers loved me too and I was blessed till I entered university. I was just 19 years and from here, my life started to enter into the darkness. There was a boy, Sufiaan, the bad boy you know, all the girls were drooling over him, he had so much attitude, so strong character and charisma. I just ignored him, because I was for study and not for filrting with boys. I don't know why and how he started purchase me but I ignore his advance. He was like you, to much arrogance, to much humor, too much of everything. I was like a challenge for him, I guess, he didn't give up and he didn't let me until he got me. One year later, I was coming back to home and I was encircled by some boys but he came and saved me. At that moment, like every girl, I was impressed and my heart melt for him hard and deep. Few year after, I've learnt that he planned everything to make me fall in love with him. She laughed sadly and Asad felt a pain.
-Anyway, I was impressed by my hero and we were officially together and all the school knew about that. You can't imagine how the girls hated me but I didn't care, Sufiaan chosed me , I was HIS girl. He pushed me away from my study and I started to work less and my notes decreased. He pushed me to rebel against my family and against my monotonous life. He unleashed and revealed a passion in me that I never knew it existed. I felt like living in prohibited, it was so exitant and dangerous. He taught me to smoke, but I did not like it but to please him, I did it . The only thing I have not done is to sleep with him, I could not and he never forced me. He was respectful towards my traditions. My teachers were beginning to complain and my family scold me but I did not care, he was my hero and he loved me that's all that mattered. And I missed my year and it was predictable. My uncle surprised us once kissing each other and it prevented me from seeing it. But I ran and then Sufiaan asked me to marry him, he said that once, we were married my parents will see that we are serious in our love and they will accept us. I was blinded by love and I agreed. And we married but my family rejected him, and wanted me to divorce but I refused and I ran with him. I can't forget their eyes that day, it always hurted me when I remember. She sobbed
-please, Zoya, he wanted her to stop
-No, it's not over, the beautiful part was about to come, Mister Khan. I was so sad, I did realize that I went to far, but he convinced me that I don't need them, that they can't understand the love and passion that we are sharing. We are like true lovers and we don't need anybody to be happy. He used to say : I love you , very often, for everything. It was so easy for him to say it but for me it took time. Sufiaan was kind of person who liked to act before to think, marrying me was just a game for him, a rebel attitude but the meaning of mariage, he didn't know what it was. He was so selfish, so selfish, what mattered was him, him and him. He gave nothing he only take and me, he left only crumbs, after all I loved, love is given generously so I gave, I gave everything. Because I lost everything and I left everything, for me, he became my passion and my reason for living, I was under his control. Both of us, didn't have a job and money, he was alone here, his family was in india. We used to sleep along floors but we were together and for me, it was worth all the gold in the world. But life is not made only of love and water, life needs money. I remember the first time we had met, you said "you are alone to face the reality" and that's true. I had to stop studying and I began to work, we found small place, we used to live in one room, this was what we've got with the money that I earned. Sufiaan would not do anything, he spend his time playing, seeing his friends. I was no longer the center of his life. Though I ask him to find something he always slammed the door and left me alone sometimes nights crying. And it was always me who apologized. How I have been stupid, passion has no conscience. I thought to leave , but I didn't know where to go? and each time that I threatened to leave him, he apologized and he told me he loved me, that I was his reason for living. How I hate now this 3 words of I-LOVE-YOU, I hate them from the core, I HATE THEM. She closed her ears with her hands. These words were like the venom that paralyzed my conscience and I fell back into his arms each time. When I felt my head out of the water, I plunged back into the depths. It became worst between us day by day, nothing help, no love, no sex, no communication helped.
-We lived two years together until it finished. Once, I was in one of my two works and I fainted. I was transported to the hospital and I knew I was pregnant. I felt as if the world was crumbling under my feet. It was not the right time, barely we finished the month but now, we are about to be 3. How a child can born with a clueless mother and an irresponsible father. I felt guilty of this error, how I have been negligent. The doctor asked me to rest, I suffered from exhaustion and malnutrition. I remember I laughed and I thought, to whom I have to rely on?
-When I told him my pregnancy, it's as if I had announced that I had cancer. I was supposed to be the happiest woman in the world, but I was just the most miserable person in this world. I wished deep inside that this news will created a electroshock but no, there, he panicked, instead of reassuring me, he just said he did not want children, and that he regretted being marry. He thought it would be simple and fun, but the reality was different and that he was not ready to sacrifice his life anymore. He wanted to enjoy his and that he was sorry and that I deserved better and him also. And I asked myself, who I was for him ? But I don't know the answer, I never really knew, I think he should love me a little, otherwise he would not have done it all. Even watching from afar all that, I still don't know what I was, a game, a challenge, a maid or just a fun toy for him. He took his stuff, he kissed me on my forehead and he left. He left me alone, with a baby, I was so broken that I stayed under the shower with my clothes, crying all my heart, crying for all those small mistakes that brought me until that moment of regret. The ironic was that I wasn't able to abort because I didn't have enought money. Isn't fun, Mister Khan ? She looked at him but he just clenched his jaw and closed his eyes.
- when I was 8 months pregnant, I met him accidentally and I saw him kissing girl, I hid, and I don't even know why, even with hindsight, I do not know why I react like this. And that evening, I gave birth prematurely, but Sarah was a strong child. I gave her this name Sarah because my adoptive mother would have wanted to call her daughter Sarah if she could be pregnant. Asad smiled sadly, his emotions was trapped in his troath.
- I gave birth alone and when they had putted her on my chest, I barely looked at her, I closed my eyes. In the night, I was lying in my bed and Sarah was slepping in her crib. I watched her sleeping peacefully and I found her beautiful, so beautiful and innocent. I felt so alone, but oddly Sufiaan was the last person I wanted to see. I thought of my uncle and aunt, if they were there, they would have been so happy. And I left, I said to myself that it was better for Sarah to be with a true family that would take care of her. And I gave up. I dropped my daughter that day. I was ready to leave but she suddenly woke up. Something stopped me, my maternal instinct surely and I went to see her. She blinked her eyes and she moved her little hands. I did not want to take her in my arms, because otherwise it would be difficult to leave. I told her I'm sorry but I have to leave you Sarah, you deserve a better mother than me, you deserve someone who will take care of you, I am in pieces. Forgive me, I'm sorry, I don't know what to do, I don't know how, I know nothing of what being a mother, I screw up everything, forgive me for this life I have to offer you. And then she grabbed my finger and she smiled. A true and beautiful smile, so sincere, I saw the love in that smile and her gesture. I couldn't resist and I held her tightly and I cried. It was a true and sincere love that I craved for years, I found it in her eyes that day.
Asad couldn't hold anymore, his tears fell on his cheek and his troath constricted. She was crying too but she didn't look at him, she was like in trance, he felt her there, in this room, holding her newborn daugher in her arms crying loudly. He could imagine that scene and his heart beated with pain imagining her loneliness in that room. Zoya wiped her tears and continued her story.
-I promise myself that day, that I will only live for her and I will do anything to make her happy. That day, I caged the Zoya that I was, this woman who screw up everything, her life, her family, her future, her study for a moment of passion, for a fake love. From that day, I reborn with her, I was a new person, I promise to be the mother that she deserve to have and I will not screw up this thing between Sarah and me for anything. And the first thing for that, I knocked to the only door who I know that I will find peace, i went back to my family when I was 23, I came back three year later. They didn't rejected me, not even my daughter. I felt so guilty, like me they decided to turn this past and to move on. They took care of us and I came back to study and I was graduated at 25 and my daughter was two years. I decided to be independant and to take care of my daughter alone, the truth is that I felt guilty every time I saw them, I couldn't forgive myself for the pain that I gave them. Sarah visits them often, but I kept my distance with them. It is important for her to see her grandparents, they were happy to be with her and she is too. And as I said her happiness is my only target in life now.
She stopped and stood silent , her breath was heavy, she ran faster throught her past and until she was now in the present. Her tears stopped and her chest started to move slowly, she felt light for a second. Asad didn't take his eyes away from her, he observed each of her movement, he could sense that for the first time, she let out all her past in one go. He felt that she said loudly all those things and faced herself after so long. She didn't hid. Her eyes started to move rapidly and tears appeared quickly. Asad knew that she was in panick and he called her, he didn't want her to run this time.
-Zoya
- this is the woman that you are running after Mister Khan
-Zoya, I ...he wanted to touch her, but she stood up and left quickly.
She couldn't believe that she told him everything, she told him all her life, all her past that she restrained for so long, and in one moment of weakness, she told him everything. The weight of the past has resurfaced and pain with, she spent all these years ignoring but she opened a door she thought it was condemned for eternity.
-Zoya, he posed his hand on her shoulders, but she jerked him
-I don't need your pity, I just want you to know the woman that I was and that I am still. I hope you change your mind now that you know me clearly
-I didn't change my mind, I still want to be with you
-Asad, I am not a woman to be love
-why ?
-Why ? You really ask me why ? BECAUSE I LEFT MY DAUGHTER, I LEFT MY FAMILY, I SCREW UP EVERYTHING, I AM A WOMAN THAT WE SHOULDN'T LOVE, WHY DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND, ASAD, she yelled at him
-you didn't leave you daughter or your family, he said with a soft voice, you didn't screw up anything instead you constructed and you rectify all your mistakes. YOU are the woman who was craving to be love and the only person that you left it's YOU, Zoya, and I want that woman to get back.
He tried to hold her but she pushed him with all her force and he stepped back abruptly. She was now breathing heavily, he looked at her and came closer again, she pushed him again.
-go away Asad, she said angrily
He ignored her and came closer, but this time, he grabbed her firmly by her upper arms. She closed her hand in fist and hitted him on his chest many times. He let her, he wanted her to let out her pain and her frustration, even if he had to act as a punching ball. She hitted again and again crying to go away. He wrapped his arms around her back and tighetened the grip until she couldn't move her. She was trapped now in his solid arms and she let her head on his chest.
-leave me Asad, she said tiredly
-I won't let you down, I will take care of you, he whispered against her temple, she started to shake with tears in his arms.
-why don't you leave me in my misery, Asad ? She cried
-I won't let you Zoya, I want to be here for you, he replied softly
-don't Asad, I don't deserve
-let me be the only judge if you deserve or not. But I won't let you alone, Zoya
She slidded her arms around his back and she closed the grip, and she cried loudly, leaving her tears on his shirt.
- throw all the pain and guilt, frees you from this burden that you carry. Leave your past behind you and forgive to yourself.
-it hurts Asad, it hurts a lot
-I know, just leave it, one by one, leave this day that you accept to be with him, leave that day when you didn't listen to your family, leave that day when you follow him instead of beeing with your parents, leave this sadness that you saw in their eyes, leave that day when you gave yourself to him, leave that day when you realized how wrong you were to love him, leave this guilt for choosing your heart instead of your mind, leave all this guilt that you carry the day you decide to leave Sarah in the hospital, leave all this small mistakes and feelings that make you cry and suffer. Leave everything from where it belong, leave them to the past. You have nothing to do in what is past, it was your destiny.
-why me Asad ? Why me ? She asked
-some questions don't have answer, just leave them to God. Let it go.
He rubbed affectionnaly her back and he posed small kissed on her forehead, her hair and her temple. She closed her eyes lulled by his words, he was the first with whom she shared her past, and she finally felt lightly. He freed of the burden she carried for years just with words and with his arms. Her sobs fade away slowly and her body relaxed. She didn't want to move, she loved how his small kisses played with her sense.
-Miss farooqui, promise me to look at your present and future
-I promise, she replied smiling slightly
-and don't forget that I am at the top of your list , he tried to light the mood, she let out a soft chuckle and smacked him on his chest
-ouch Miss Farooqui, you don't need to knock on my heart, you are already in. She looked up and he just gave her a warm smile and tender look. She felt a shiver running on her spine.
Their embrace was disturbed by Sarah's shout. Both ran to her and they saw her crying sitting on the ground, while Salim was comforting her.
-Sarah, what's wrong ?
-nothing Miss Farooqui, she just swiped from the toboggan
-did you hurt yourself, Sarah ? Zoya asked worried and Sarah shook her head showing her small scratch. Zoya blew on it softly. Sarah sobbed. Asad looked at them and went next to the toboggan.
-so Mister toboggan, you hit my little princess, I will have to teach you a lesson, Asad said with a stern voice
Sarah sniffed and looked at him her eyes wide opened, she saw Asad who was slapping the toboggan. He then rubbed his hands proudly and putted his ears next to the toboggan, like he was listening to something. Salim shook his head in despair at his father.
-Sarah, mister toboggan was crying and he say sorry to you
-Uncle Asad, the toboggan can't talk, chuckled Sarah and Zoya smiled at both of them.
-WHAT ? He didn't talk to you, I will beat him, he removed his sleeves
-No, Uncle Asad, leave him, please, it's ok
-ok, just because you ask, so you want to try again ?
-No, I don't want, she said shaking her head a bit scared
-are you scared ? I'm here don't worry, nothing will hurt you until I'm with you. Asad reassured Sarah but Zoya couldn't help but to take this sentence for her.
Asad held Sarah from her waist and helped her, and slowly, her fears went away and she started to play again with Salim and Asad. Zoya stepped back looking at them, playing all together. If it a vision of her future, she would be the happiest person on the earth.
They continued to play with Asad, while Zoya took many pictures of them, they posed also together and to finish this beautiful journey, Asad putted a timer on the camera to have everyone of the picture. Zoya, sitting on the grass, was in middle, with Salim and Sarah on her lap holding them closely, Asad ran quickly and he stood behind Zoya, putting his arms on her. When she felt him against her shoulder, she looked at him and this was the picture of this journey. Finally, it was the time to go for all of them, Asad proposed to Zoya to go with the kids to wash their hands and she approved while she will throw all the dirty plates.
Zoya went to the bean to throw all the stuff, when she turned, she found a man standing in front of her, smirking at her.
-Hi beautiful, he sang.
She just rolled her eyes and passed him, but he called her again :
-hey, I'm Rajveer by the way and you ?
-listen Mister, I'm not interested, please leave me
-You have also a beautiful voice sweet lady, but why you walked so fast ? we can talk ? I'm not that bad, he grabbed her wrist firmly
-leave me alone, she glared at him with defiance
-come on, give me a chance, what your name, beautiful ?
-I said leave me alone, she said with a low and threath voice
He laughed lazily and he closed his grip on her wrist coming closer to her.
-what if I don't ? He smirked
-don't you hear what she said, leave-her-alone ? Asad called from behind. Zoya looked at him with relief.
-hey you , just go you, she is for me, he warned
-oh really, I didn't know that she was your own property, I didn't see your name anywhere on her
-hey, you, just go away, don't try to play hero.
Asad held the wrist of the hand that was still attach to Zoya's wrist, and he tightened the grip until he released it. Zoya finally freed her hand and rubbed it. Asad came between them and he came closer, glaring at him with murderous look. He closed more and more his grip until it became white and the guy's face winced in pain.
-You are lucky that I have my family with me or I will have teach you a lesson because you dare touching my wife. Zoya's heart skipped a beat hearing him saying this. First lesson, when a women say no, it mean no. Second, do you feel what I am doing to your hand, it hurts no ? So can you imagine how you hurt her ? He shook his head frantically. So now, I want you to apologize and promise never do it again, Asad said tapping sharply his cheek.
-I'm sorry, ma'am, I'm, Asad twisted his wrist and he shouted in pain
-Apologize, Asad asked again
-I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I won't do it again
-Perfect, he said satisfy but yet his anger was still burning, He grabbed him by his collar and stared at him, with his eyes widshoot with anger, if I saw you again next to her or to anyone else, I will break you down, understand ? He left him and the guy ran for his life and he fell many times before beeing able to stand on his feet.
Zoya from behind, looked at him and she didn't expect to see this side from him. For her, she only saw the charmer side and the father, but she didn't see the protector and the real man inside of him. She felt some strong and deep aura that just clenched her inside with...pleasure. She already felt fine and safe with him but now she knew why, because he can protect her. She always managed to live alone, why now thinking that she needed protection, especially from him. She smiled soflty looking at his back, she could sense that he was still angry and his hands were closed in fist. She rubbed her hands, she was scared but not anymore, she looked up and saw him so close, she almost gasped, she didn't see him coming :
-Are you ok, Zoya ? He said worried, looking at her wrist
-yes, I'm fine, she smiled at him but he was still tensed. He scanned her hand and saw some red mark on it, he clenched his jaw and she saw a small vein paying in his temple. He closed his eyes and said in soft low voice :
-I'm going to kill him, he left her hand and started going away from her. Alert by his behaviour, Zoya wrapped her arms around his back to stop him from going away, he was not in a state to do something sane, she tried to calm him but still he was tensed in her grip :
-Asad, it's ok, I'm fine and by the way, as I saw the fear in his eyes, he will never ever do it again. She cracked a joke but he didn't react instead his anger seemed to be deeper. He looked down, breathing loudly.
-Asad, she said soflty touching his cheek. Like he came back to his sense, his eyes softened a bit, I am fine, ok ? She tried to convince him. He held her by her waist and pulled her closer.
-I'm sorry, he apologized looking at the ground.
-for what ?
-I should have come earlier, I shouldn't have let you alone, I should have protected you from..He didn't finish, his eyes expressed enough what he wanted to say.
Zoya shook her head slightly and held this time both of his cheeks and talked to him, like she was talking to Salim :
-Asad, you came on time and you protected me, you shouldn't say I'm sorry because it wasn't you who did this. I have to say thank you for everything. She forced him to look into her eyes telling him that she won't stop until she saw him convinced and relax. He sighed loudly and nodded at her. That's my boy, she laughed and he smiled at her, this time mixing his eyes with her, looking at her tenderly and lovely. Her laugh fade away slowly and her hands fell slowly from his cheeks to his torso. They paused for minutes staring at each other, aware of their proximity but noone of them moved. He looked at her eyes and her lips and she did the same.
-Abbu, Miss farooqui, we finished to pack the food.
Both of them jerked from each other with Salim's call and blushed. Zoya turned to face Salim and she smiled nervously.
-Nice boy, Salim, I'm proud of you both, she took them in embrace and left with them.
She didn't ignore her heart which was racing under her chest and didn't ignore the fact that if Salim didn't interrupt them, they had end by kissing each other. She didn't know if she felt relief or upset with this interruption. Asad from his side, saw how she cared for him and how she managed to deal with his short tempered, a small and soft touch of her calmed him. She had power in her and he knows that he was falling hard for her, but he wasn't scared with this feeling, in opposite, he liked the taste on his heart, it was new and he didn't feel this before for any women, which made Zoya even more special in his eyes. He saw her blushing and leaving with the children, he wanted her to be with him, with them. He knew that he had to deal with her past and how it affected her trust in life and love. He had to be slow and gentle if he wanted to win her heart.
They packed all the stuff and left the park to join Zoya's house. Finally, they reached destination, Zoya and Sarah went out, while Asad received a call and stepped back. He switched the call and took Zoya a bit away from the kids :
-Zoya, I don't know what to say,
-what's wrong ? She asked worried
-I receive an important call and I have to go to office now and ..
-You want me to keep Salim with me ? She finished his sentence, he nodded shame and timidely
-it's only this you scared me, don't worry, I will keep him with me until you finshed your job.
Zoya turned to face both of the kids and bent down :
-Salim, you dad have to do something but I have something to propose to you. You want to join us with Sarah ? We are going to play and eat some ice-cream, what do you think ? She brushed his hair. Salim looked so happily and nodded frantically at her. Good , Sarah , Salim go upstair and I'm going to join you.
-Yesss, both of them shouted. Both of the parents laughed at their antics and saw them going away from them.
-This kid, he didn't even say good bye, how can he resist when he was in front two beautiful woman ? Zoya rolled her eyes. Zoya, I'm really sorry to disturbing you and thank you . I promise to come back as soon as possible. If it wasn't urgent, I... he said awkwardly
-it's ok Asad, Salim looks happy to prolong the time with us, don't worry, go to your office and I will manage with the kids, she said smiling showing him that she was fine with this.
-I'm really sorry, Zoya, it wasn't plan and I swear I will redeem myself, promise, he insisted
-Asad, please, I told you, it s FI-NE, ok ? This time she said firmly
-Zoya, how was your hand ? He pointed to it
-I'm fine, Asad, she smiled showing him her wrist, she looked up and saw him staring at her. Why are you looking at me like this ? She putted on lock of her hair behind her ear nervously.
-Like what ?
-like this ? She blushed
-like what, Miss farooqui ? He took one step toward her and she stepped back
-like I ...was.., she gulped
-beautiful ? Is this what you want to say ? She nodded, because this is what I see when I look at you, you are beautiful woman, he cupped her cheek
-Asad, please, she said almost desperatly looking deeply in his eyes
-Zoya, take it as it is, a compliment from a man who found you beautiful
She pushed his hand from her face but he resisted and he brought her back in front of him, and she was trapped again the wall and him. Bodies were away from other by inch and still not touching.
-Zoya, why are you always running from me ? She could feel his hot breath on her face.
-you make me uncorfortable with all of this, Asad, I'm not running, she turned her face from him
-Zoya, do you have any feelings for me ? She briefly lifted her eyes and bent down quickly.
He took her chin and forced her to face him, she felt his pierced eyes into her and she started to get tensed , she couldn't respond and didn't know what to say. She didn't want to reveal her feelings to herself how she can say it out loud to him. She kept mute and closed her eyes.
-Zoya, look at me, she opened her eyes, I care for you so let me take care of you. let me cuddle and pamper the woman in you, let me spoil and love the woman in you that you hide behind that impassive face you show to others, but I am not fooled, I see through.
-Asad, why you want to do this ? Why me ? After what I told you ?
-because my heart choose you and I have no doubt about. It's you and only you that I want. I may sound like a teenager, flirting with you but the truth is that we are not anymore a kid and we know love and his different shades. I'm not doing this for fun or for physical interaction, even I have to confess that I found you stunning first time I saw you. I felt my heart has stopped for a second. I don't only want to be with the woman that you hid, but the mother that you are. I want you by my side, with Sarah and Salim. I don't know where this road will lead us, but I want you by my side. I don't want you to refuse because of your fears, I don't want you to refuse because your past, I don't want you to push me away because you decide of the end before starting the story. Please Zoya let me in, I don't ask you to love now or to trust me or to make love. I'm asking some time with you to know you and to construct something together, for us, for our children, for our life.
-Asad, she grabbed his wrist, I don't know if I will be able to love again, my heart is hurt and broken
Asad smiled soflty and he rubbed her cheek
-a woman who cares for children, who raised her daughter alone, who treat a boy as her son, who treat a man as a boy, she chuckled sadly, who can give love without limits, can love beyond all her broken heart. I know that you cared but you are just scared of the future. You know what scared me the most, it's not to be worth of such your big heart that you have, I just want to be part of it, if I don't try, I will be fool to let a woman like you, I will be stupid not to fight for a treasure like you. I'm scared to loose you Zoya, I want you to take your time, I don't put any pressure on you and I don't want it. I just want you to know that I'm here behind you, if you want me to join you on your walk. I know you walk alone for a long time and you may be scared to have a compagny, but I have a big legs, and I can walk slowly and I will walk at your steps. But try me, I can be sometimes, not only irritating but I can be nice.
Both smiled, she just nodded at him pressing her lips together to refrain her sobs. Asad approached his lips to her forehead and let a soft and long kiss. She closed her eyes and unconsciously, she pressed her wrist between her hand. Asad stepped back slowly, he took step by step, he first looked again at her, he wiped her tears, shaking his head in no, asking her not to cry. He smiled and she smiled lazily in response. He frowned and tapped slightlty her cheek asking her for her dimple. And this time, she stretched more her lips showing him her dimples. He smiled back satisfy. And he stepped back, leaving as long as possible his hand on her face and she did the same leaving her hand on his wrist. The distance increased and they were apart but still, Asad was facing her, his eyes locked with her. With each step, her heart beated faster and her breath increased, she felt that he took a part of her with him. She wanted to run to him, wanted to stop him, but she couldn't move. He didn't want to go, he wanted to hold and to kiss her, but he can't touch her, he wanted her to come to him first. He finally went into his car, he looked at her for the last time and he started the car and left. When he disappeared in the road, Zoya fell on her knees, totally shaken.
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