Prologue
Year 1979
She stood at the edge of the balcony and looked up at the sky as the wind howled around her. It was a dark, moonless winter night, the kind of one that she hated. It was so peaceful, the surroundings, that it frightened her to move aside, that the slightest movement would have a thundering sound. She felt her heart beating erratically in constant fear.
She would remember the night for the rest of her life. The corner of her mouth twisted into a wry smile as a lone tear rolled down her face. Her father had always said that the storm within a man was more destructive than that of natural one. Not for the first time though, she felt the need to run into his arms and hide herself from the world - a world that was waiting for her to take her first step into darkness; a world where she would never be able to look up at her father when needed.
She crossed the length of the room, towards the corner and stood in front of her Krishn, as another tear joined the first one. It would be the last time, a small voice whispered back in her head, as she lit the small dia, holding her hands together as she prayed for her father's health and success.
With a long breath, she walked out of the room, the length of the pathway towards the end, forcing herself to shut the thoughts that were swirling around in her head. She had long back decided and nothing would make her change her decision, not even her father. She knew the loss she would have but she couldn't find a way out where she could have it all together - to have her father by her side as she embraced the new phase of her life. She waited after knocking the door and stepped in when she heard her father's voice.
There he was, as her eyes glanced towards the window, just the way she expected to find him at this hour of the night. He glanced at her for a long second and focused back into the book that he was reading, his eyes as cold as ever. "You need something?" he asked, his voice low and stern as it always was.
She smiled wryly. She knew him more than she knew herself. She knew his reaction once she voiced her decision. And she knew that the next words that she uttered, would be the last words she would ever have with him. Shutting her eyes as she felt her heart pierced with sharp pain, her hands fisted at the sides of her sari, she whispered, "I need you to understand what I need in my life, Babuji."
Seconds passed by as she waited, not daring to open her eyes for she feared the darkness that was about to swallow her life. She felt heavier than ever, her shoulders succumbed into pain as silence burdened her. She didn't know for how long she stood there, in front of her father. And she would never know. She heard, after what felt like a life time, his voice so low and stern, cold and lifeless,"if you wish to have what you need, you will have to let go of what you relied on."
She opened her eyes as his words killed her soul. It was what she expected but she was not prepared to hear them from him. She tried to speak but failed as her father stared back at her. Days of their battle finally reached its end. She lost her happiness in it. Before she could speak anything, he shook his head with a wry smile and continued. "I always had a faith that my daughter knew me well, more than my mother and my wife. But no. I realized that it was all my blind faith that I expected more from you. Leave my house, Avni. You don't deserve to be here."
She stepped back, the words forcing her to do so, as tears finally betrayed her sanity. She shut her mouth as she watched her father turning his face away, his own eyes shut forcefully. She didn't wish for this to happen. Yet, she knew it was the only way she could have a life with the man she loved - but at the cost of the man who gave birth to her. She turned away, knowing that her father now wanted her to go, she took another step when she heard her father saying.
"Switch off the light on your way, Avni."
And the words followed before she could stop them. "That is all we had left, Babuji."
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Edited by muddled_mind - 10 years ago
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