ArShi FF: Sex between Hearts - Thread 3 - Page 48

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kaprasin thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
Unres..
Now before I start my worrying session, those ladoos you posted looked mouth-watering!!

The first part where you explained the sex between bodies and heart was just awesome deepthi. In part A, you have clearly pen down the feelings of Arnav for khushi. The tone of authority he uses, the understanding of being a mother who lost her child and also the way he explains the procedure he is going to perform..wow. In this one update, you have shown different faces of arnav, eager to call her khushi instead of mrs.mehta..(now thank you for this. I was waiting for him to call her khushi) desperate man to help her, helplessness in not being to help her. I don't know anything relating to medical field but the way you explained it was v.perfect.
Khushi.. mmm.. what to say.. Broken parts of my baby.. no words to explain the feeling of a mother. No mother in this world should face situations like her. Loved the easy conversation between them and the way she trusted him and said don't want anyone else to do other than him. Great. She is innocence personified and also a brave girl who is ready to file complaint.
Her parents..typical. Shashi was rude, but atleast later he said sorry to arnav. Typical dad who is scared of the society than his daughter's happiness. Now I think he is more worried about giving complaint and letting others know and also if payal is not married then she will not get alliance if there is a daughter with a stain of broken marriage.. how ironic. Till people like him exists there will be more Deshmukh and karan mehta's roaming freely in our society.
Liked the way how arnav's mom spoke on her behalf. Bitter memories. She has also undergone some. They are so many things still to write deepthi. Anjali comments..non-profit hospital..about her saree..their talk when she is about to leave..her innocent questions.. what to say and which one to leave if you give such a wonderful update!!??

It is the disgusting truth in our society that relationship importance is given on what others think.. not on what you think. If a daughter decides for love marriage they are more worried about the society and relatives talking, instead of her happiness. If a man is incapable of making babies, the girl is thrown out of her house!! And I really believe all this happens in low and middle class society because of one big factor.. MONEY.

When writing you just become the characters and tell from their point of view. You are a wonderful writer deepthi. Hats off👏
Edited by kaprasin - 11 years ago
Srilathalolla thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
What should I type I am at loss of words. It is very hard to pen down the emotions and you did an amazing job .
"You mean the broken parts of my baby?"
When I read that line I chocked. A mother who was told that all her kids were murdered and the last her womb is still carrying some parts of her baby is the most brutal and nastiest truth and a slap to the so called modern and sophisticated world.
Sorry at the choice of my words but I have to vent out my frustration Men need a woman to f**k but they dont want to give birth to a girl then whom are they going to @@@@@@.
I loved the concern , care and the possessiveness in Arnav towards Khushi. Everyone understood what he is going through Anjali , Arjun and his mother. He is so much transparent with his feeling for Khushi.
Shashi and Garima behaved just like any other middle class parents where they have another daughter who is still to get married and a daughter who is at the verge of breaking her marriage. Garima a typical middle class mother who does not have a right to speak.
I am really in love with Lavanya. She is a true friend who is worried about Khushi. What will be her reaction when she comes to know about the truth I am sure she will become Maa Kali 😆 . No FIR no case only death penalty 😆😆.
I loved the confidence and the determination in Khushi when she was talking to the DCP. The way she was raising the questions at the same time showing her innocence.

Nice update
Edited by Srilathalolla - 11 years ago
canapoem thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
Mother earth does not differentiate between her children whether they are male or female.
The air we breathe does not differentiate whether the person breathing it is male or female.
The water we drink does not differentiate whether the person drinking it is male or female.
The food we eat does not differentiate whether the person eating it is male or female.

All the other living beings around us either be it aquatic creatures or birds or land animals dont differentiate between their offsprings based on their gender.

And we humans always pat our backs saying that we are the most intelligent creatures among all living beings. Heck if this intelligence brings out the monster in us, then hell with this intelligence. We were better of as apes and monkeys.

Deepthi, another awesome yet extremely emotional upate.

there flourished an immortal sex between 2 hearts, melting each other with euphoric emotions, overwhelming gestures, and indomitable passion of faith, paving way for the...


...Consummation of feelings.


Awesome sentences. 👏

Sab rasmon se badi hai jag mein dil se dil ki sagaai.

Loved the determination Khushi showed in asking Arnav how to lodge a police complaint. The trust Arnav has developed in her eyes in such a short span of time is the right beginning for a deep relationship.

"You mean the broken parts of my baby?" She stared at him expectantly, as fresh bout of tears coursed down her cheeks.

Deepthi, seriously now I am running out of tissues. I dont know what and how should a mother feel by reading the above sentence. Its the worst kind of feeling for any mother and no mother should really undergo such ordeals in her life.

I know you said you will explain what did Deshmukh do to Khushi, but after each update I am more curious to know what was happening.

Did Khushi call Lavanya and tell her the entire truth? I am guessing Lavanya will support Khushi a lot in the coming updates. Atleast Aman seems to be a nice guy.
And what does Khushi mean when she said that "did Karan even fake the hospital bills?". Why was Karan receiving money from some one to cover her hospital expenses? Was Khushi's father or someone paying the bills?

Looks like Arnav's mother also has a history, a very bitter experience of dealing with such blood suckers.

And Khushi's father, I really dont know what to make of him.
Does he care for his daughter's well being? Or is he an asshole too like the Mehta's or is he too scared to go against the norms of the society?
Whatever it is, looks like Khushi might not have any support from her parents in this long battle.
And Khushi's mother, I think she is no better than a vegetable in their house. I dont think her opinions matter at all and maybe she has gotten used to not thinking.

"These stains are not worse than the Stain of Broken Marriage she is going to carry on her shoulders for the rest of her life, I am sure She will be fine." Came Shashi's blunt words needling his daughter's already broken heart.

What does he mean by stain of broken marriage? so according to him, what happened to Khushi was ok and she should have adjusted and stayed with that jerk?

Why is Khushi always defending people around her? Either she is too good to look beyond their so called goodness or is scared to talk against them.
For once I want her to keep aside her good nature and think about the injustice done to her and seek justice for the same.

So Deeps, she did not file a complaint yet right???

Edited by canapoem - 11 years ago
9351594004 thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
Oh deeps as I say buy one get another free. I'm sure he is trying to send her to his damadji to mend her broken marriage. Our Dr R is soon going to his volcanic avatar... now what...
Edited by 9351594004 - 11 years ago
lovedrops thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
After reading this update I fell in love with your writing more and more Deepu... Specially some lines you wrote just stole my heart they made me speechless. When I started reading the update, I was clean bowled with the opening itself. The first paragraph where you explained the difference between sex between two bodies and sex between two hearts is brilliantly mind blowing. Right at that moment I knew how the update is going to be. I just shoved away my tissue paper box, I threw the Tshirt in laundry basket and I kept my BP monitor in cabinet, and didn't want to disturb my fire extinguisher yet, because she is still settling, and started reading the update with peaceful and open mind to feel the essence of every word and every line you shot sharply and breathtakingly.

Sex Between Hearts...is a consummation of feelings... brilliant... wonderful way of saying the true meaning of the title of the story. This is not about two people who will fall in love out of attraction.. this is the story about two people who are emotionally attracted with their hearts entwined.

Manasu anedi prathi manishi lonoo vunde viluvaina nidhi...

Prema anedi aa manasu daachukune andamaina pennidhi...

Anduke prema ante rendu sareeralaku kaadu.. rendu manasula kalayika...


He knew his heart has already surrendered, in all certainty. He already realized that his heart started beating for her. But how beautiful the expression is here in this sentence.

She is taking his support and she is trusting only him after everyone she believed betrayed her.

Oh man I have to copy and paste entire update to high light the sentences and scenes that like in this update.

Khushi is so naive .. her questions itself saying how innocent she is. "Have you ever been to police stations"

Deepu how extensive research you did ... you explained the whole process very well although its very emotional to read... I should appreciate for the hardwork you did.

Parts of conception... You mean broken parts of my baby...

A mother in Khushi would have died thousand deaths while uttering such words. But she became resist for such feelings after loosing 5 babies for the cruelty her husband and in laws did.

"I will tell you this, No child should look into the face of death in the hands of parents. Thats UNACCEPTABLE" ..

Its very true Deepu.. It kills the parents with the child. I felt a pang in my heart while reading this.

"Do you have any objection if I call you...Khushi?" Finally he is going to call her Khushi.. I literally don't like him calling her Mrs. Mehta. It doesn't feel like Arnav calling Khushi.

********

Looks like Lavanya loves Khushi so much. She found out that that jerk called Sashi and told that Khushi eloped with some doctor. Karan Jerk will be shocked if he knows that Khushi is indeed with Arnav.

Who called her to give Khushi whereabouts. I am sure Lavanya is the one who called Sashi to inform she is in RGH.

I really wonder there is such hospital gives new expensive dress for the patients. As I said Deepu.. Dr. R , instead of dresses, would have kept a hug for his patients from him. I am sure his hospital will be full of patients. Who will resist a hug from that handsome doctor. I would have registered myself as a permanent patient in RGH to take a hug from him every day.

And it's only Khushi who could believe such a lie. but she is so soft and naive, and rejecting the dress.

Saala, First my brand new Chudidaar Suit, Non-profit Hospital? Free Service? What izzz happening? Anjali thought and furrowed in a critical attitude.

I couldn't stop myself laughing at this... Deepu... I really loved Anjali's reaction.

Non profit hospital.. are you serious Dr. R. ...

**************

Going to part B... I was shocked to see a sharp and strong Khushi for a while. I felt like I am seeing TVK Khushi again... when she was talking about the tight of life. But soon her innocent question to Arnav... mad eme realize its not her talking , it's the mother in her who became fierce all of a sudden.

Right at the moment, Khushi's parents came. Already I didn't get good feeling about Khushi's father.

How is he supposed to react when his heart aches with sadness, watching her break down before his eyes, not once but time and again. He hated the way his hands are tied from reaching her. He absolutely hated the way his heart is forbidden from crossing that thick wall of institution called marriage...her marriage yet he knew he would change nothing that would take this sense of belonging away from him.

This is my best paragraph in the whole update. Every word is so perfect to speak about his feelings for her. How his heart is restricting itself to feel the feelings it suppose to feel for her because of the marriage, her marriage. dammitt. I loved every word in this para which spoke his heart.

When I read Sashi saying "So you are that doctor".. I was so mad at him. I didn't like it at all. I didn't like his attitude at all. After reading all the conversation.. I became super mad at him. Di.. I really remembered you while reading what Sashi spoke. I was on fire literally.

When Arnav is being polite to him, what her father said is, bullshit. What crap he spoke.

"I wish I had kidnapped your daughter on the very first day I saw her. At least your granddaughter would be alive now.

But this sentence moved me so much.. How much he is caring for her.

Finally Sashi spoke to his daughter and found out what happened to her daughter, but still he is showing his attitude.. He is trying to take her home when she is not in good condition. While she is trying to file a case on them , he is taking her away form the only support she got.

"You do not decide family matters from a hospital room. You have a family of a mother, a father and a sister, with whom you need to sit, discuss and take their opinions. GO HOME"

How could Sashi force her daughter while she in lot of mental trauma. I am so mad at him.. while Arnav is worried about her health , all that her father worried about is her broken marriage. How could he say that.

It was my first reaction... but after thinking for long... what I felt is... Sashi is an ordinary middle class man, who was scared about the society and the people who will talk on their backs about her daughter from now on.. and he was worried about the news his son in law is spreading that his daughter eloped with a doctor.. If he still allows her to be with him... people may think it is true.. and if she is with them ,... they can atleast prove it is not true. Sashi is just thinking like a typical man.

He cut her off asking, "You sure you wanna go?" That was the question he anxiously expected NO as an answer. From the man who always had an intense dislike for the word NO, at once, he reduced into an earth of desperation to hear nothing but only that word. What an irony of Life?

My another favorite paragraph... Again spoke his heart out ... so beautifully.

Will you call me? Why? Naivete at its best... Wow Simply Wow Deepu.

"I dropped my personal number in the home-care bag."

Wah wah... Dr. R became a romeo R... He dropped his personal number and that too in her home care bag. Super idea Dr. R.. come on keep it up.. This is just beginning.

A permanent grin plastered across his face imagining himself banging his head. "I would prefer personal number but you can reach me at any number..as long as you make that damn call" His mind screamed the last bit that his lips failed to complete. "Keep in touch and Stay safe". He said, reluctantly withdrawing his hands.

My another most favourite paragraph ... His heart is resisting to send her home...

"You too take care. You have been up all night for me. Believe it or not, it means a lot to me at this stage of my life"

Tujh mein rab dikhtha hoon yara mein kya karoon. I remembered this song while reading these lines Deepu.

It would be easy to mend a broken heart with time but it is nearly impossible to heal an aching heart waiting in uncertainty of future - Unable to move on nor hold on...



Deepu.. what is this line... How could you get these marvelous thoughts and amazing lines ... form where Deepu... I really wish to hack your brain one day to see how your brain thinks to get these amazing lines.

Simply brilliant update Deepu.. I loved each and every line you wrote here. It is mix of many emotions in this update. or may be I felt all the emotions in one single update...

👏 👏 👏 👏


You deserve more than normal praises Deepu.. You are simply wonderful and talented.. period. I am so lucky to know you.. and to read your amazing stories... Love you so much Deepu... so so so much.🤗


Thank you so much Deepu for posting the update Thursday... Saturday I wouldn't have read it on time. Thank you so much ... for changing the update schedule toThursday,... weekends are always tough for me. you are really a darling. Muaaah.🤗


Edited by lovedrops - 11 years ago
shyamidutt thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
Yay! Update time.

Edit
I'm so overwhelmed after reading the update, I don't know what to say. The first paragraph itself - Oh my God, the way you described a true fact of life so effectively and as a matter of fact in a few words...I'm speechless. Right now I'm totally in awe of your writing to talk about the story.
Wow! Wow!
Edited by shyamidutt - 11 years ago
ManKiBaath thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
Sankranthi Subhakankshalu!
And Res'ing too...

****************
Intelligence always come down to being a hard worker or a genius. But, being an artist always comes down to being a genius and that's it. It's hard to argue the point of you not being a genius after that intro. After reading through that, it was just a matter of time to realize that once you reach the top, every second after that is just a bonus and who would not love a bonus, especially the kind you have to offer😊.

A "Character" is what defines a person but it's also true that character"s" are what defines a story. Arnav, Kushi, Anjali, Lavanya, Gayatri, Garima, Shashi (the others are not mentioned on purpose), what a wonderful collection of characters. Before I get too excited or too disappointed with these characters, I realized that imagining a story always goes back to the beginning of all characters. Not the beginning-beginning of the story, but the beginning of when anything ever started for these characters. Brushing their mentality aside is the easy thing to do but understanding the real "them" can only come from realizing what they grew up with and what parameters they actually live in. Everyone is acting their background and only a few have the guts to break the shackles and reach the glory. I guess that is where Arnav and Khushi come to the fore and that is what makes this story a "hopeful one" and the way they are doing it, that is what makes this a "magical one".

Characters might make the story but lines in the story is what makes a writer - "Do you have any objection if I call you...Khushi?" so simple and so clever. A line to create a relation, a line to build bridges, and a line to define your brilliance. Blessed is the art that you posses to say so many things by just using the power of silence and the power of smile - light smile, a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes, smiled warmly, smiled in amuse, incredulous smile, untimely smile, a slight smile, secretive smile, charming smile. And yes, these are all from this chapter and who knew, with all the gloom and doom around, you could still extract all these smiles from Arnav and Khushi. And for just that, I am giving you my most "thankful smile". 😃

For all the smiles in the story, I am still yearning for those first words from Arnav and Khushi, which their hearts seem to be saying all the time but never reaching their lips for us to hear. Oh I wish, only if hearts could talk to each other. But, I take solace in feeling that there is this power among them that exists and will become available to them, only when they are in a state of mind, in which they know exactly what they want and are fully determined not to quit until they find it.

Lastly, this story for me is already one of those that will be closer to my heart. You are doing a fantastic job "narrating the bitter colors of life" (Sorry, I borrowed your line) and I fully understand and admire you for presenting the facts and harsh realities in detail. Because in the end, we all succeed only when you do what is necessary, not just by doing what is nice. Thanks again for a wonderful chapter and eagerly waiting for more...Hamesha.


Edited by bhavali4RR - 11 years ago
GuruDeep246 thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
Unres: deepthi so sorry for not commenting for the last update..i m hating myself for doing like that..now i m here for latest update..very intelligently penned down difference between sex between the two bodies and sex between two hearts giving a very rightful, very deep and very meaningful thought to the title..coming to khushi's i can say that this khushi is not so dumb, naive and innocent when it comes to her kids..she is a brave lady who is now planning to lodge a complaint against her jerk husband and his family or her family..till now i assume its her family too..i was so happy for khushi while she discussed how to proceed in lodging a complaint with arnav but my happiness short lived untill Mr Gupta's entry and his behaviour in the hospital..i dont think he will let his daughter to file a complaint instead i m sure he will try to amend the relationship which was not at all existed since from the beginning..that relationship existed only for lust, for getting pregnent only for boy babies..he will definitly try to send khushi to that jerk..loved arnav's reply to Mr Gupta instead of luring his charming looks go inside and check on for his daughter...loved Gayatri here..how well she understands her son's behaviour and arjun for supporting arnav in front of Gupta..but i have a question here deepthi.. What is the role of Gayatri in this hospital? Is she also a senior doctor here? Very maturedly written how she analysed khushi's condition, her brought up in a very conservative family..khushi so naively and innocently she asked why to arnav's question will you call me and that too on his personal number?.o my god their convos while departing..arnav's desperate attempts to keep in touch in future, he is realizing he is falling very deeply for her..he is becomming so impatient..i mean how do you manage to write such small little romance bytes deepthi..and last sentence took my breath away dear..i read read reread the same sentence numerous number of times..phir be dil nahi bhar raha hai.. So again going back to read..so truely you said.." it would be easy to mend a broken heart with time but it is nearly impossible to heal an aching heart waiting in uncertainity of future. Unable to move on nor hold on "..now i m desperatly waiting to read arnav's craving to meet khushi in ur beautiful words dear..lots of love with a huge hug to you..
Edited by GuruDeep246 - 11 years ago
jayanthinag thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
This is the mentality of almost all the middle class people (I don't know about upper class, may some of them will be having too much pride about their image) to fight against the injustice done to them. And too much thinking of what other people will think and say if they fight against these injustices..like here shashi Gupta is so much concerned about what people will say about the broken marriage of khushi rather than worrying about the loss of khushi...
Hope khushi finds a way to fight against that karan and her in laws, I hope lavanya will help khushi's family to understand khushi's plight..



crazylovey thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
Res
Unres..
Mind blowing update..
Loved every word of it... And especially how u described difference of sex between hearts and bodies.. And last quote.
. 👏
Continue soon..

Edited by anjyy - 11 years ago

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