SS: If I Stay [Alpha] pg24 - Page 2

Zoya pulled her groggy head out of the covers and took yet another look at the cellphone that hadn't flashed once in the last five hours. It was four thirty in the morning. He had not come home. She sighed and put the covers back over her head struggling to push ominous thoughts out of her head. Surely someone would call if he were in trouble. People wouldn't leave this notorious town charmer alone. But what if he had been drinking and driving? Nothing was below him these days. The man had become a regular at the local club scene, sipping drinks like water, drunk dialling her in the middle of his escapades, bragging to his buddies how he had a girl at home but was still man enough to hang out with them. Her heart couldn't take much more of his torment.

She would not cry, she told herself.

Big girls do not cry.

They certainly do not cry over boys.

Heck, who was she kidding! She was leaking big salty tears by the minute

Before she knew it, her shivering body had dissolved into what could only be described as a puddle below the bed.

Just then the coveted Asad Ahmed Khan walked in. No, stumbled in, completely and without a doubt, shitfaced.

He mumbled curses as he knocked down furniture on his way, darting this way and that way until she ran over to catch his fall.

"Asad?" she asked despite of herself. She was not going to like whatever would come out of that mouth. Already she was regretting sniffing the vodka perfumed all over scruffy features.

"f**k", he said in a low whisper. "I need you".

In the dim light of the table lamp, he didn't seem to notice her tears. That, or he didn't care.

"Asad, you're drunk".

"I am fine".

"Let's get you to bed okay?"

"I don't f**king...f**k just shut up".

"Asad?"

"I need this Zo"

"What do you need?"

"Kiss me".

She hesitated for a moment. But he didn't give her a chance to think as his mouth descended on hers and all the air left the room. She tried to slow him down, unravelling his knitted brows, leaning into his hunger, trying to settle his raging storm. He wasn't having any of it. Only torn pieces of fabric lay on the side of their bed as he ripped open the tissue tee she had been wearing. She ran her hands along his back trying to calm his ragged breath. He tasted like alcohol and madness, with a hint of something else. Something that scared the wits out of her.

Before she could get a grip on his restraint or the lack of her own, he lay flat, mouth on her breasts, unconscious. She nuzzled him for a moment but soon gave up trying to free her petite frame from his death grip.

___________

She woke up the next morning face to face with his need still raw and festering. The problem was much deeper they both knew. If only he was willing to talk about it.

"Asad"

He didn't answer as he pinned her against the bedroom door. Then again inside the shower. And once near the front door just as she was picking up her keys to leave for work.

"We should talk".

Her words had the impact of putting out a fire. He simply shut her out, pretending as if she hadn't said anything and continued on with whatever sexual act he had planned before.

After about three weeks of this charade, today Zoya had finally reached her limits.

"Stop", she gave him chest a hard shove. "This has got to stop Asad. I am worried about you".

"Then don't be".

"I can't not be"

"Because I said so"

"Worrying, that's me".

"f**k Zo. Just let me have this".

"I have. For the last three weeks".

"Look, I get it okay? So I made some bad decisions. I am human. It ain't like I can't f**k up every once in a while. I got you babe. I am with you and I am not going anywhere".
"I know. I just. I am scared something is going to happen. You're so different now".

"I am just having fun. Letting loose for a little while. Things will be better in the morning".

He was getting agitated by the minute. His words getting slurry, sentences shorter until he stopped talking and simply continued his attack on her neck.

"Asad look at me please".

"Not now".

"Please?"

"Yes?" Frustrated, he torn his mouth away from her bosom.

"Stay home with me".

"No, I have to go out".

"Why?"

"I have friends that--"

"Go tomorrow. Go tonight. Just let me have this minute. I'll take time off work".

"Fine. Whatever".

"Okay?"

That was all she was going to get out him the rest of the day. He sat in a corner in his boxers playing with breakfast cereal and making shifty eyes. His eyes weren't droopy exactly but the way they moved made her think he was sleep deprived. Then again, his random sprouts of energy said otherwise. Zoya went to check on him twice every hour. Each time he alternated between pouncing on her without warning and flat out ignoring her. He'd never been like this before. Things were getting worse than all the other nights had been lately. Something was terribly wrong. Was he taking something?

He slept the rest of the day and was recovered by the time he got a call from his nightclub buddies. Zoya looked at the phone with a frown but stopped herself before she flung the new high-tech across the room. Boy did she have some choice words to say to whoever was on the other side of the line.

"I am off Zo".

"Where to?"
"I'll be back", he said ignoring her question.

"Please talk to me Asad. I am begging you".

"Later Zo".

"When exactly is later?"

"I don't f**king know. I gotta go, okay?"

"No, it's not okay. I am not okay. You're hurting. I can see that. I just...please say something".

"We're done".

"What?"

"We're done. Talking".

Just like that, he walked away without looking back at the weeping pile of bones he left behind. She stood shell shocked against the doorway exactly as he had left her with her blouse slipping off one shoulder and her skirt riding up to her hips. She waited six agonizing weeks. He didn't come back. She knew it and yet it would take her a whole ten years to believe it.