Ashlok Dark FF - My Ransacked Heart/UPDATED/Chapter 13/ (Pg-133) - Page 8

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akashavani thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#71
Mahi...superb ...loved the way you wrote...felt the chill while reading ..great ...But is it ...A Tragedy...or ...happy ending ...cause they crimes already seems heinous...No redemption.
mahirmukhtar thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#72

Originally posted by: akashavani

Mahi...superb ...loved the way you wrote...felt the chill while reading ..great ...But is it ...A Tragedy...or ...happy ending ...cause they crimes already seems heinous...No redemption.


You can say a mix of both tragedy and redemption. 😉 I know people write about crimes with tragic end. But i want to try my hand in something different a dark hero's redemption! 😉 It will be sad, and happy in it's own way! 😊
mahirmukhtar thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#73

Originally posted by: mehare

Great story with nice title & superb start with😉😉 first chapter mahi👏👏👏 loved it waiting for next⭐️⭐️⭐️


Thanks for your comments dear! 😊 Will update soon! 😉
mahirmukhtar thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#74

Ashlok Dark FF

My Ransacked Heart


Chapter 2

The Spoiled Lamb

I am not spoiled~Everyone is just very accomodating~


Kirloskar Residence

"Come on Astha...Get up...I am giving you only 5 minutes to get ready", a woman's annoyed voice called to the girl upstairs who was sleeping so cosily wrapped up in the blankets.

At the voice she put out her head from under the blankets and looked groggily at the clock. The hands of the clock showed that it was nearing 7.30 a.m.

She again withdrew her head in the blankets groaning "Ae, I have atleast half an hour to get ready, the college starts at 8.00 a.m, Asthu Beta if you sleep for 5 more minutes there won't be any harm", She muttered fuzzily to herself and went into a deep sleep again.

"Miss Astha Kirloskar", a woman's voice thundered near her ear. " I am telling you for the last time do wake up and get ready".

The woman paused near Astha's bed and tapped her wrist watch, showing the time to Astha who was looking owlishly, from under the bedcovers at the now furiously snapping woman.

"Now you have only five minutes to get ready, " She said in a tight-lipped voice to Astha.

"Ae I only wanted to sleep for no more than 5 minutes", Astha pouted.

"Young lady no tantrums in the morning, Do as I am telling you otherwise after 5 minutes I will drag you down to your college in your night pyjamas", Mrs Avdhoot Kirloskar said sternly.

Astha jumped straight from the bed , ran into the bathroom without pausing midstride and banged the door shut. "Ae you are so cruel, I am your only child", Whinnied Astha from behind the door.

"Astha I am warning you, only 5 minutes", Mrs Avdhoot reminded her sternly but she was suppressing her smile. She knew her daughter's antics and blackmailing techniques so well.

There was a sudden sound of crash, some assortments falling and a groan that came out from the bathroom. Startled Mrs. Avdhoot hurried towards the bathroom. "Asthu bacchay are you alright? Did you hurt yourself?"She asked worriedly, putting her ear near to door.

"No problem Ae, just taking the daily dose of adventure", Astha's muffled lauhgter came from behind the door.

"Oh Asthu really", Mrs Avdhoot heaved a sigh of relief. "Your clumsiness", She hurried from the room nodding her head exasperatedly.

Astha was the only child of Mr and Mrs. Avdhoot Kirloskar. She was the apple of their eye, the sole reason for their being. They had given up hope after 10 years of marriage. Seen every doctor in the continent but never lost their faith in God. And then after many surgeries, many failed IVF experiments one day that miracle happened in the shape of a tiny cuddly girl. Their baby doll. They named her then Astha... for faith...

Kirloskar Residence: Breakfast Table.

"Dad I need 50,000 rupees", Astha said dragging the chair from behind the table.

"Why", Mr. Avdhoot Kirloskar asked who was sitting behind the breakfast table and turning the pages of the newspaper casually.

"But Dad I told you yesterday that my friend Angie's birthday is coming near, I need to buy a gift for her", Astha explained exasperatedly.

"Young lady you only told me about the birthday , you didn't mention the money" Avdhoot said nodding his head admonishingly.

"Okay Dad , I forgot. What's the big deal?, I ve explained to you now, as simple as that. So are you going to give me the money or not" Astha said rudely.

"Astha Kirloskar, where are your manners?, Young lady have you forgotten with whom you are speaking, It's your father. That is not what I have teached you to behave so badly towards elders", Mrs. Avdhoot said angrily.

"Kalindi leave it" Avdhoot took Kalindi's hand in his own and prised her clenched fingers open. "Give her as much money as she want. Take it out from the locker in our room", said Avdhoot tiredly.

"But you have given her 60000 last month too. It's too soon Avdhoot", said Kalindi worriedly.

"Leave it! Kalindi just give her the damn money", Avdhoot said in a sharp voice. His migraine has started again.

Kalindi nodded her head seeing her husband's displeased face and hurried towards their room to take out the money from the locker.

"You have to say sorry to your Dad young lady then and only then I will hand over the money to you", Kalindi snapped after coming back from the room..

"Okay mom", pouted Astha. "Sorry Dad" she said in a small voice. There was no remorse in her voice.

"It's okay Beta" Avdhoot answered with clenched teeth. His head was really pounding now.

"Oh my God five minutes left in 8.00 and the driving distance is at least of 15 minutes to the college" Astha gave a horrified shriek. "I've got to run. Bye mom, bye dad" She dragged her college bag behind her, throwing and breaking many things in the process too.

"But Asthu" Kalindi moved towards Astha with raised hands. "You forgot to give me and your dad...", her voice trailed away ...,"a hug" as Astha ran out from the door, scrambling and screaming the driver's name at the top of her voice."Ramu Kaka, Ramu kaka".

Astha dragged the car door open and first threw the bag on the back seat and then herself across the seat. "Ramu kaka get me to the college from the shortest route that you have ever known of and with as much speed as the car can take. Asap.", Astha said in an out of breath voice.

"Quickly", she reminded to Ramu kaka who was staring at her from the back view mirror. "Ji chhoti bibi" Ramu kaka obediently nodded his head and started the engine.

"Oh forgot to text Angie about the successful way that Asthu Beta got money from Daddy dear" She gave a mental pat of encouragement to herself. "I think I should tell her instantly so that she could get enough time to think about the different ways that we can plan her birthday party" she muttered excitedly to herself.

She took out her tab and started texting to Angie heedless of the fact that Ramu kaka was staring transfixedly at her from the backview mirror. If she would have raised her head then and seen what was present in Ramu Kaka's eyes at the moment she wouldn't have remained so excited...


Edited by mahirmukhtar - 10 years ago
dv19 thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#75
And the billi cat says meooow ..I'm first...
entwined
Aug 6

you saw her shadow
in a distant narrow

you saw her tears
falling as she swears

you walked towards her
asked her in wonder

"why?" you asked
still, she just cried

then you walked away
as if you never knew

that you're the reason
she's crying in prison

for starving herself to death
hoping for her heart to heal yet

hiS POV.. of tearing her innocent heart one particular day ..
Edited by deepavasudev - 10 years ago
dv19 thumbnail
11th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 10 years ago
#76
And ramu kaka is ram lal.. aaadmi of Shlok..
this poem is for her WHY SHE WAS SO INNOCENT PART ..LATER REALSING ..WHY DID SHE GIVE HER HEART AWAY ..
Why am I too innocent?

Why am I too innocent?
My responsibilities I neglect
Why am I not responsible
Unlike the rest

I'm younger than most of them
But I can keep up
But I get used...
Abused by those who dislike me

People you least expect
Take advantage
And abused my innocence
They left no mercy for me

Until when
Will I have to keep swimming out
The neck deep shit
Being dumped on me

When will I grow up?
When will it all stop
When...

Edited by deepavasudev - 10 years ago
akashavani thumbnail
11th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail Commentator Level 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 10 years ago
#77
Mahi ... waiting for more ...was Ramu Shlok's cahoot ...The eye was great and chilling .
maitydeblina thumbnail
11th Anniversary Thumbnail Voyager Thumbnail
Posted: 10 years ago
#78
Nice 😊 so astha is a spoilt brat but innocennt one
😉 so she will be kidnapped by ramu kaka? 😕
update soon 😊 😉 next ch will be very interestings😉
Edited by maitydeblina - 10 years ago
mahirmukhtar thumbnail
13th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail + 4
Posted: 10 years ago
#79

Originally posted by: akashavani

Mahi ... waiting for more ...was Ramu Shlok's cahoot ...The eye was great and chilling .


Yes vani! You guessed right dear! 😉 He is Ramlal!
mahirmukhtar thumbnail
13th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail + 4
Posted: 10 years ago
#80

Originally posted by: maitydeblina

Nice 😊 so astha is a spoilt brat but innocennt one
😉 so she will be kidnapped by ramu kaka? 😕
update soon 😊 😉 next chsting will be very intere 😉


Yeah she is a spoiled brat but innocent in the ways of men! 😉

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