Sagarika ki diary

Ek saal ho gaya bunty aur meri shaadi ko. Iss ek saal mein, main sab kuch kinta badal gaya, main badalsi gayi. Sagarika hoon yaa Parbati. Main apni pechan bhool si gayi hoon. Roj roj ke wahi bawal, kabhi amma ne naya naam diya, toh kabhi mere rishte ka astiva hi nahi. Ab main who ladki naa rahi jo kuch sapne aur umeed liya iss ghar mein shaddi kar aayi thi. Jis insan ka haath pakad main sab kuch chod iss ghar mein ayi, wahi har waqt naraj raheta hai. Kabhi amma aur kabhi pati ke bich main apne aap ko khodiya. Kya main yahi chahati hoon zindagi se? Kya main khush hoon? Kya ek patni aur bahu rahene se hi mera astitva hai? Roj subha sheesha mujhe kisi aur ka hi chera dikhata hai.

Maine bahut koshish ki main ammaji ki bahu banu. Lakh koshisho ke wabjoot main sirf wahi ladki ho jo unki bte ki pasand thi aur iss gahr main ayi. Bunty ke saath mera rishta bas maag ki sindoor tak raha. Na aab hum dost hain, naa hi pati patni, aur humsafar toh bilkul nahi. Kabhi kabhi ganga ghat main dubte suraj ko dekh irsha hoti hai uske pas ek aur din hai. Mere paas toh ab kuch bhi nahi raha.

Lekin aab bahut ho gaya, ab main har second kiski ka pyaar aur apnapan ke kiye nahi raha sakti. Jis riste se sari umeed aur bharose ki dor thi who shayad toot chuki hai. Ab kisi aur ke ghar mein main kab tak rahoon. Aaj mujhe maa ki kami bahut mehesoos ho rahi hai. Agar aaj maa hoti toh shayad main unke saath apne problems share karti. Who mujhe salah deti, main unki baat sunti. Kam se kam koi toh hota.

Pishimaa, mere liye meri maa hi thi. Unhone mujhe pala posa, par main kitni badkismat hoon meri shaadi ne unka saath bhi chuda diya. Baba se main apni problem kaise share karo, lekin ab koi aur umeed hi nahi rahi.

A week later...

I am so happy. Main kabhi expect nahi kiya tha ki pishimaa aaj bhi mujhse pehele jitna hi pyaar karti hogi. Unhone hi baba ko meri problem batai aur samjhai. Baba aur meri soch shruwat se hi thodi alag thi. Par aaj baba ne mujhe samjha, unhone mujhe hug kiya. Do din baad, baba aur pishimaa mujhe bunty ke ghar se leye aye. Papa, dadiji, ratna jiji, pappu bhaiya aur bhabhi ki bahut yaad ayegi. Shayad satya ki bhi ayegi, kahin na kahin uski har chal ne mujhe yeh ehsaas karaya ki mera aur bunty ka pyaar bahut kamjor tha. Amma ka pyaar toh mujhe kabhi nahi mila, chalo kaam se kaam mere chale jane se unko khushi toh milegi. Aur Bunty ki yaad toh main apne saath liye jaa rahi hoon. Jab main bunty se pheli baar mili thi mujhe unka sadapan, bado ka aadar, amma se lagab, bhai-behen se pyaar, sab, unki hare k baat achi lagti thi. Abhi bhi unke wahi sabhi gun mujhe ache lagte hai. Woh bahut ache hai, bas shayad meri kismet main hi unka saath nahi tha. Bhagwan kare unko har woh cheej mile jo unjhe pasand aye.

Ab main London wapas jaa rahi hoon. Main suna tha khosish-karne-walo-ki-haar-nahi-hoti , par ab aaur akele nahi ladh sakti. Kiske saath musibat ka samna karu? Kiske liye apmaan aur dukh sahoon. Bunty ne toh mujhe aate waqt roka bhi nahi.Sab kuch khatam ho gaya.

Few years later...

Waqt pata nahi kab khogaya. Baba aur pishimaa bhi mera saath chod gaye. Pupali ki shaadi benaras main hui thi aaur aaj usne skype main bataya ki main masimaa bannewali hoon. Main bahut khush hoon. Main apni behen aur uske honewale bache se milne Benaras jaa rahi hoon. Par ek daar bhi hai, kya main Bunty aur uske pariwar ka samna kar paugi. Akhir Pupali ne Bunty ke dost Radhe se shaadi ki hai..