Ram Kapoor (interview)

"THESE DAYS, IN THE INDUSTRY, MORE WOMEN ARE HAVING EXTRA-MARITAL AFFAIRS THAN MEN"

DASHING, DEBONAIR AND INTELLIGENT — THAT'S ACTOR RAM KAPOOR (JAI WALIA OF KASAMH SE) FOR YOU. HE LIVES HIS LIFE SOAP-BY-SOAP, EPISODE-BY-EPISODE, AND SCENE-BY-SCENE. HIS POWERFUL ON-SCREEN PERSONA AND IMPECCABLE DIALOGUE DELIVERY MAKE MANY A HEART GO INTO FRENZY. HE IS NOT JUST ONE OF THE MOST ADMIRED FACES ON THE SMALL SCREEN, HIS WELL-THOUGHT OUT REPARTEES MAKE HIM A DELIGHT FOR A PEN PUSHER TOO. SHOWTIME GETS RAM KAPOOR TO OPEN UP IN AN INCENDIARY INTERVIEW ON A SULTRY AFTERNOON AS HE GETS IN A WHIMSICAL MOOD.

ST: Insecurities among the actors are a part and parcel of showbiz. How do you handle such insecurities?

RK: Actors are definitely insecure. Showbiz is one domain where you tend to confront a lot of insecurities. It is equivalent to surviving the choppy waters where there is no stability and one is likely to see a recurring cycle of many ups and downs. There is no consistency, which you see in a corporate job. One doesn't know how long one is going to survive, so insecurities are a part and parcel of the business. I don't know if any of my fellow co-stars have been intimidated by me though. I have not noticed that.

ST: Throw some light on the casting couch and what has been your observation over the years?

RK: I have not observed it. But I am intelligent enough to know that it exists. Though it is not rampant in every walk of the business, as it's kept under wraps. And now, even guys are becoming vulnerable to the casting couch. As they say, "There is no business like showbiz." Showbiz is so alluring that a lot of people compromise to get that dream break. But each one to his own. I am not judgmental and can't say whether it's right or wrong. It is just the matter of how badly you need that break and how far you are willing to go for it.

ST: When was the last time someone made a pass at you?

RK: It was a guy (laughs). At Ekta Kapoor's party, this guy made a pass at me but I politely turned him down. I am very comfortable about my sexuality. Even in the past, people have tried to make controversies about my sexuality (a tabloid had carried a story on Ram hitting on his male co-actor). And it doesn't affect me at all if a guy comes and makes a pass at me. Some of my closest friends are gays and I don't find homosexuality weird at all. In the past too, a lot of gay men have proposed to me but I have told them, "Dude! I am not into this!" and they have conducted themselves very well. I have lived in America for four years and I am used to gay and lesbian friends. I think homosexuality is one's personal preference. Who are we to judge them? I am not sure whether gay marriages need to be legally sanctioned because even gay and lesbian partners can spend their lives together if they are compatible.

ST: Have you ever used your machismo as a tool to overpower someone to get a meaty role?

RK: Maybe subconsciously. For instance, if you meet for
a narration or you are auditioning for a role, then you tend to enhance your best qualities and project your best attributes.

ST: What are your wildest fantasies?

RK: I definitely have a lot of fantasies and my wife (Gautami) fantasizes as well. Both of us are true romantics. But I think fantasies should be kept to oneself. I can never forget my honeymoon. I had this amazing honeymoon on an island at the edge of Thailand. In those moments, most of our fantasies came out gushing. Everything was the way we had imagined – a private garden, secluded beach and an amazing hotel. The beach was so secluded that even if we didn't wear any clothes, nobody was looking at us. It was so serene and breathtaking that all the time we lazed around on the beach, swam in the pool or spent time in the Jacuzzi. The memories are so cloying and delectable that we still want to try and recreate the atmosphere.

ST: Does women's liberation bother you?

RK: It does not bother me at all. I think women have come a long way. In India, women have taken enough crap for the last 100 years. The Indian society has always been male dominated. India still has a long way to go when it comes to women's liberation. With women becoming professionals, the pressure on them increases manifold after they deliver a child. I feel a child needs the mother more than the father. She has to strike a balance between work and child even if she has the most supportive husband and even if she doesn't like shouldering the responsibility of the child.

ST: Actors are perceived to be Casanovas. How do you react to such perceptions?

RK: I think the audience puts actors on a pedestal. The audience looks up to them, longs for them and fantasizes about them too. So this longing gives them a Casanova tag. Being called a Casanova is just one of the aspects of being in showbiz. The fact that people adore me and long for me excites me a lot. And I feel that an actor does not want anything more than this. In front of the camera, an actor is emotionally naked and he revels in the attention being showered upon him.

ST: What do you think about open marriages?

RK: Once you get into a marriage, I think it is very important to be devoted to your partner. These days, in the industry, more women are having extra-marital affairs than men. I think when people do very well in life and career, the tolerance level comes down; they do not want to compromise and so it leads to flings. I think the concept of an open marriage is ridiculous. Why get into a marriage if you have a roving eye? Marriage is an age-old concept, where you are formally announcing to the world that you want to spend the rest of your life with the person. I think it's better to stay as live-in partners than get into an open marriage.

ST: Do you see yourself in a purely physical relationship?

RK: In the past, I have been into purely physical relationships. It is not always possible that you find complete compatibility with your partner. I don't think pre-marital sex is a big deal as long as both the partners are ready and you are an adult and having safe sex.

ST: Do you believe that our society has double standards when it comes to sex and morality?

RK: In India, we have double standards when it comes to sex and morality. But I think even men are victimized, because if a man is having an affair, he is called a dog and when a woman is straying, well, even then, the man is blamed.

ST: They say men always have sex on their minds. Do you agree?

RK: It depends on the age of the man you are referring to. There is a certain age when a man has sex on his mind all the time and then there is a serious phase when he is caught up with work and family responsibilities and sex takes a backseat.

ST: Do you think we attach too much importance to issues like pre-marital sex and virginity of a woman while men who sleep around are considered macho?

RK: Virginity doesn't mean anything to me. I am an open person. If you are an adult, then you can go ahead and experience sex before marriage. It's only then that you realize that you have already done that and become a more mature individual. Later on, life with your partner becomes all the more meaningful.

ST: Do you think men like women who are dominating in bed or would it hurt their male egos?

RK: I know of both kinds of men. Some are passive and like their woman to be dominating in bed while others like to be stronger partners in bed.

ST: Would you take back a woman who has strayed in a relationship, if she regretted it later?

RK: It depends on how involved I am with my partner. If I am very close to her and can't stay without her, then I will take her back even though I would be angry and hurt.

ST: They say that the world moves ahead on money and sex. Comment.

RK: To some extent yes. But it definitely moves on money.

ST: The female nude form is considered to be a work of art, while male nudes are referred to as disgusting. Comment.

RK: We are merely one of the many species present on the planet. I watch Discovery channel and if you look at the animal kingdom, the female species are far more attractive than males. Though in some species, the males are more attractive and colourful. So when it comes to human beings, women are definitely far more attractive than men.

ST: Which part of the female anatomy turns you on?

RK: (Laughs) I think it's the face. No matter how sexy the body is, if the face is ugly, I can't dwell on the body. But if someone has a good and completely compelling face, but a mediocre body, then I would be turned on.