**Samragini Draupadi - Pooja Sharma's AT**#13 - Page 111

Originally posted by: AnuMP

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/indiahome/indianews/article-2547685/Maharashtra-Womens-Commission-member-claims-Nirbhaya-invited-gang-rape.html


I don't think we CAN talk too much about educating the society on this

Originally posted by: ...Diala...

<font face="Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif" color="#006600">I wish I can know how many of us 'wont' give similar advises to our grown up daughters years before anything goes wrong.. I dont say Asha Mirje is right, but I say we are not really different..</font>

Diala

There is a big difference between saying 'Don't be stupid, there are evil people out there' which I most certainly will say to my daughters and to any other woman, and telling a rape victim she invited her own rape. Which is what Ms Mirje did. I heard what Hema Malini said and that I agreed with, although I did think she was inarticulate and clumsy about it


I understand your frustration about us going on about the same thing
But-

1) the discussion has to start some place. On online forums, people esp women, feel a safety in speaking up, which they otherwise might not
2) like it or not, societal change these days start with the entertainment industry. It says a lot about us as a generation, but it is what it is. I am happy that in their own (sometimes misguided) way, SidT and Co, did try to do something. If I am not mistaken, every actor involved in the DS/VH scene spoke of it as a crime and that is certainly more than some politicians did about poor Nirbhaya

sorry Anu.. IMHO what Asha said was the corollary of what Indian parents say.. I assume she is a politician and I wonder how many will not vote for her for this statement..

What every parent says to their daughter will be the same but what Ms Mirje said as a person of authority can give credence to arguments that the victim was asking for it. In fact those were the words she used, that the victim 'invited it'


Speaking as the mom of daughters and one son, I would

1) talk prevention with my daughters.
2) education with my son as in respect women, no means no, skimpy dress doesn't mean she is advertising
3) self defense with all of them
4) self esteem and confidence in family's support to speak up and seek justice in case they (God forbid) become victims of a crime
5) speak up as next generation, so the authorities will know that society will want the criminals punished


Actors- silence doesn't mean enjoyment! I am pretty certain you are aware of it. Am pointing out that they speak up when politicians don't. So why shouldn't we? Our online forums are a start.


Hypocrisy- of course possible. But I would like to think its out of 'moh' and a belief in our loved ones rather than an actual act of condoning the crime

Originally posted by: ...Diala...

<font face="Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif" color="#006600">Ive never believed that and many others too dont.. I dont think it is any human instinct but a social culture that prevails in today's India.. it all depends on whose side you wanna take..I am pretty strong that if a proclaimed feminist's brother is accused of rape, she/he too will for a moment think 'may be she was wrong'..I always wonder why do the girls who get raped or molested go for suicide.. isnt that because she thinks her worthiness lies in her honor/virginity? isnt she herself absolutely wrong? doesnt she fall under the male chauvinists group? what is the point in blaming rapists and molesters? There is a simple logic that I heard and accepted.. Men indulge in this not for they want it but for they wanna suppress the evolution of women in India.. unless women stop considering the society suggested 'honor' and virginity above their life this is not gonna change.. sorry for the irrelevant lecture.. this is outta frustration of seeing people talk talk talk of punishing the victims but not changing our Indian woman attitude..</font>

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<font face="Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif" color="#006600">yes I visit atleast once in two days but sadly I dont have a good connection to register my visit with my likes..</font>

EXACTLY!!
Diala, I guess i have been trying to make this exact point.
I think I have pointed this out many times in this forum, that most of the Draupadi bashers are WOMEN.
And that is the tragedy...
It is women who say things like 'She deserved this', She deserved that'...n that is the most saddening part.
While we women should always be careful, I just cannot take how a woman can say such things against other women.

Draupadi is only a mythological character...but this attitude is not virtual, it's real.
Women bash other women the most about such things...n that is exactly wat is mostly talked about here.
Most of these Draupadi bashers that we ralk about are all educated women. As long as we women dont change ourselves, nothing will change n that is exactly my point as well. Ofcourse, I am not sparing the men...

And I'll tell u something. Just like a feminist would retract from her feminism if her own brother gets accused of rape, will a girl coming from a good family, with beauty n education n wealth n everything want to marry a guy way below her status?
Even today?
I guess no.
I guess Caste is no longer that prevalent but the concept of class is still there.Will all these women who bash Draupadi forbeing choosy about her partner, not be choosy themselves, about their own marriages, especially if its arranged?
Exceptions r there, but i am sure most of them would repeat history.
I am damn sure tbat most of these educated, intellectual self-proclaimed fighters of Casteism who bash Draupadi mindlessly would be equally choosy in their own lives n would like to marry a man who's equally good.
I am not saying that wat Draupadi did was not wrong, but are we any different?

Originally posted by: ...Diala...

<font face="Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif" color="#006600">I guess they wanna show her strong.. with a strong misunderstanding of what a strong woman is.. dint starbharat also do that? I still remember how they made Pooja walk like a man to show she is strong.. not her mistake I know.. not sure if you guys noticed or would agree.. the walk in dice hall was strong.. but the one where she walked to stop Arjun and Subhadra was ugly like a man.. probably many did think that is how a strong woman walks and acts..</font>

I COMPLETELY AGREE WITH YOU ON THIS ONE...
I personally did not like the depiction of Draupadi in this serial in many cases.
Although I loved Pooja Sharma n some of the scenes were great, but I hated how Draupadi was shown ultra fiery in some of rhe scenes.
I hated the way they showed her rejecting Karna...n i think i have said this a million times before.
As someone who is well learned about the epic, u know thats not how it happened.
I hated how they showed Draupadi as a vamp during Arjun n Subhadra's wedding.
Indeed she was hurt n angry but the real Draupadi was dignified enough to express her displeasure to her husband only in her private chamber n graceful enough to accept Subhadra eventually.
The CVs totally ruined that by showing her as someone who would shoo her co-wives away.
I hated how she said'Yudhh Mera Adhikaar Hain' thus re-establishing the age-old belief that Draupadi was the root cause...
I also hated how they mellowed her down where she was supposed to be fiery in the end...
Apart from some awesome Sakha-Sakhi scenes and Ardi moments, I found Draupadi's characterisation to be very inconsistent.

People honestly dont know how a true strong woman is. Granted Draupadi made mistakes like almost every other character in the epic, she had a personality...she was strong n dignified.
Does that mean she never cried or did something lousy once in her life?
I am sure she did. But there's a reason y she's called the First Feminist. But sadly most people who write on her, cannot catch the real essence of her character. Most people dont know how actrue strong woman behaves.
I did not like the way she was shown protecting her father from Lord Krishna in the initial says or doing 'Samaj Ka Kalyaan' by marrying 5 brothers... I just want Draupadi to be depicted like Ved Vyas visualized her without all these unneccessary white-washing or black-washing...without Andha Ka Putra Andha n washing hair with blood...

But I guess that is a distant dream.

By the way, I loved her walk during Dyut Sabha.
That was awesome. 😳