Teri Deewani
Chapter 6
The smile slowly faltered from her face "Happiness?" she asked
"Ruhi" he smiled brightly and turned towards her and raised himself inches above the bed with the help of his elbows "Shagun gave me Ruhi, my Ruhi. I can never thank Shagun enough for trusting me with Ruhi" he suddenly turned sad "But you never trusted me, you didn't trust me when I said that I can do anything for you Ishu. See what I did for you. You wanted money, I made it all, only for you..." he cried in the crook of her neck.
Tears were flowing freely from her eyes too. It was only today that she understood the extent of damage she has caused to the man she loved the most. Was akka right? Should she have talked to him? No even after all the pain he still has Ruhi, his flesh and blood
"But Shagun trusted me. She trusted me with her life. Six years ago, when I was at the top of money-making" he smirked sadly in between sobs "one day on my way to office, I saw a girl in a nearby park sitting on a bench, sobbing slightly. She looked familiar. I don't know what made me go towards her but when I went near her I recognised Shagun, she was a colleague from my old office. She was sweet and considerate; we used to be good friends back then. So I went near her and sat on the bench. After coaxing a bit she told me that she was engaged to Anshumaan, her long time boyfriend, he died in a car accident" Ishita was shocked, here she thought that she was the only unhappy person on earth, she was also shocked by the sober Raman and the way he was talking, he wasn't faltering even when he was drunk, his words were clear as if he wanted to bring it out since ages "I didn't know how to comfort her" he smiled sadly "I could atleast blame you for leaving me, whom would she blame? God?" he looked at her "but that was not all, Anshumaan died on their wedding day and hearing the news Shagun fainted, the doctors told her family that she was pregnant, she didn't want an abortion, it was her love-child, she would rather die than kill it and those rascals threw her out" he said bitterly.
Her heart and mind raced faster than ever "Ruhi" slipped out of her mouth
He smiled "yes Ruhi, my Ruhi. Everything happened fast, I decided to marry her and give her what I could never have, a part of her love, a symbol of her love" he took a deep breath "we were wonderful friends, we comforted each other, she always thought that it was some misunderstanding between us, she said you couldn't cheat on me, huh, she thought the world was as good as her. We decided that Ruhi would be the string that would bind us and would bring light to our dark world. But everything changed soon. The doctor told us that Shagun had a complicated pregnancy and only one of them could be saved, the doctors suggested abortion but Shagun was adamant. It was the first and the last time that we fought. She told me she had no other reason to live other than the child and she would rather die for the child than live without it. I couldn't say anything because it was her life, her choice, who was I to decide for her?" he suddenly smiled "We then decided to record every moment of her life with the child so that we could show it to him/her when Shagun was no more. Shagun would talk to Ruhi for hours and I would record it" his face darkened "and then came the day we dreaded so much, everyone around us were so excited, no-one knew the truth" he sobbed and sobbed harder "She couldn't even hold her, Ishu; she couldn't even see her baby, the baby she fought for against the world, against God" his tears made way to Ishita's neck only to mix with her's and disappeared into the bed sheet.
Ishita hated herself; she hated herself so much right now. She was a weak and coward woman, she didn't deserve Raman neither did she deserve Ruhi. Ruhi is the daughter of the strongest woman Ishita has ever heard of and that belittled her so much that she wanted the earth to open and swallow her "Raman I'm sorry... I don't know what to say" she tried selecting her words but failed miserably
"No, don't say anything; everything you say will make her sacrifice smaller. She was a happy woman; she loved and was loved back equally and she left back the symbol of her love, her love isn't lost, she isn't lost. Shagun and Anshumaan will always live in Ruhi" he smiled sadly "unlike me" he took a deep breath, held her hand in his "Why did you do this to me Ishu? Why do I still love you so much? Why can't I hate you? I want to hate you so much you know. I want to forget you, to wipe your memories from every inch of my brain. Tell me what should I do Ishita? How do I move on?"
The truth was, she didn't know, she didn't know if she wanted him to move on now. One thing that she was sure of was that she was the biggest fool on earth. She always thought her love was bigger than his, all these years she thought she made the sacrifice because she loved him and she assumed that he would move on and have babies and would live happily with another woman. How could she? How could be such a fool to think that Raman would want to have a family with someone else? How could she demean Raman's love? How could she measure his love?
She knew the answer, her insecurities, her insecurity weren't only a result of her infertility, it was so much deeper and older than that. In school everyone knew her as 'Raman-ki-deewani', the little girl mad about the topper of their school. He never displayed his love in public and hence everyone thought it was her love which was crazy. She started believing it too. Slowly this insecurity made its home in her. It was her insecurity that made her ask him to marry her as soon as she turned 18 and when he refused her it only deepened her belief. Even though he always mouthed "I love you more" deep down she thought it couldn't be true. When Raman told her that he loved Shagun, she believed him almost instantly without an iota of doubt. She doubted her own love now.
She decided enough was enough, she was a fool; she ruined Raman's life. She didn't deserve him, not one bit. But this time she would let him decide, whatever he decides, she would obey it. She couldn't bring back those lost years but she could atleast do this much for him.
With a finality in her voice she said "I love you Raman; I love you, I've always loved you and I'll always love you. I don't know where to start from but I'll try. I want you to know everything, every bit of what I have hidden inside me from the time we have been together. Will you listen to me? Please?" she waited for an answer, but it didn't come.
She looked at him. A smile broke into her grave lips. He was sound asleep hugging her like she was his pillow. She smiled remembering Ruhi's words and her own desire to be his personal pillow once. He was fulfilling all of her desires. She touched his cheeks, now that she thought about those passionate encounters and his hungry gaze in the past two days, she knew they were so much more than just revenge, she blushed at the thought. She slowly kissed him nibbling and biting, she knew he was asleep under the effect of alcohol and won't wake up. Eventually she fell asleep in his arms.
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The morning rays hit him hard on the face, he twisted and smiled, he wasn't on the floor; that was a welcome change. The first thought that came to his mind was Ruhi, he looked to his side and was shocked beyond words. Ishita was lying beside him; no not beside she was practically glued to him. Her head lied in the crook of his neck, soft bosom glued to his hard ones and his leg was fixed between her's, he wasn't feeling exactly soft down there, she was all over her. He gulped and dragged his gaze to her face. She looked so beautiful in her sleep. A beep on his phone broke his trance. It hit him then that she was on his bed, in his arms. The events of last night flooded in, her confession that she still loved shubbu despite a heart-break, his drunken confession about Shagun and Ruhi and finally his confession that he still loved her. He pushed her and got up from the bed, she got up startled "How dare you take advantage of my situation" he bellowed in anger
"Raman I, we need to talk please" she pleaded
"There will be no talk, we are going to have a divorce one month later, we will tell the family that we aren't compatible"
"but Raman..."
He shut the bathroom door on her face. She broke down and cried. Divorce. Didn't she utter the word two days ago? Then why did it hurt her so much now?
She was in the kitchen cooking and wondering where the other family members were when Raman came there and informed her that the entire family had gone to their favourite picnic spot and they were expecting Raman and Ishita there in an hour.
Raman didn't even look at her once all morning. They quickly got ready. Ishita rushed to the kitchen for some last minute snack when the doorbell rang. Raman opened the door.
A smiling face of a man greeted him "Hello Raman"
Raman raised his brow in confusion "Excuse me but do I know you?"
The man smiled further "No you don't but I know you very well, I'm so glad to meet you"
Raman smiled a bit at the man's enthusiasm "who are you?" he asked
"Subramaniyam Iyer" smiling he forwarded his hand "Ishi ne bataya hoga mere baare mein."
**************************Thank you guys for all the likes and comments, I read each and ever comment, at times I mayn't reply but that's becoz of time constraints, but each of your comment touches my heart, thank you for all the love 😳
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Chapter 7 : page 27 Direct Link
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