Those who want pms , buddy my new id simmi_arshi (remember its simmi underscore arshi )
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Novel - Hearts knit together
Chapter 17
Flashback continues...
"I don't want to lose you bete just like Mamma lost bhai. Please, I can't..I just can't!"
Shalini was mumbling the same line time and again, her cheeks full of glistening streaks, desperately wishing for her most prized possession to appreciate her predicament and standby the decision. She had locked the nasty realities of her life deep within the confines of her heart and lost the key to it but today as the old wounds got re-opened, she couldn't help breaking down completely, seeking solace with her only anchors and letting the engulfed pain finally find its own release out of her piqued heart.
She never wanted to lose her hold over emotions. She always was an embodiment of strength and discipline not only for the world outside but also for her family. Her personality always depicted stringency in its truest form. She was a very strict mother, moulding her children with correct morals and values, never letting them go astray. The perfect testimony to the fact was, her sons never saw her cry. Infact, She hardly ever revealed her emotions to them, willing to keep it within herself lest her children get to know her weakness and hurt her, albeit unknowingly. Today, however, she willingly allowed her eldest son to watch her shed bitter tears of agony and pain.
Arnav being the first child always received more love, care and affection than his brothers. Maybe that was why, today, she dint hesitated a bit and gave him free liberty of looking at a broken "her". Some part of her shrewd mind knew, this was going to work in her favour and she wasn't just justifying her actions by speaking of her past but also paving way to put a permanent stop to such unpleasant, inexcusable activities of her children.
As much as she was proud of her upbringing, she always feared placing her utmost trust in her children. It wasn't that she dint trusted them but then, she never took their words for granted. Unless she had cleared all the doubts by herself, she won't brush off any suspicion against them, especially in matters involving girls. Her mother had blindly trusted her son's choice, had geared her heart against his every judgement and she paid a heavy price of it. Her reward for trusting him nothing except raw oozing pain and a shattered lonely life.
Her insecurities had gotten such a strong hold on her, she forgot the most basic principle of love. Trust' is a prerequisite, the most significant validation of true love and earnest relationships. Love and Trust are two sides of the same coin, both crucial for building a successful, heartfelt relationship. Indeed she loved her children but never trusted them. Not with their choices, preferences, lifestyle, and definitely not with her secrets. She was so sure of her beliefs, she knew nothing could ever change her perspective regarding this.
For a change, she too wasn't much happy with her deeds. She never wanted to create such a ruckus in the society about maya and her family values, never wished to insult her family so bad. She only wanted to sternly reprimand her for her audacity of even daring to dream of earning a Raizada' tag for a surname.
However, the situation demanded such atrocity. That gold digging girl needed a serious dressing down. Her son seemed to be very serious about marrying her and she could have never let that happen. Yes, other options were obtainable too. She could have simply opposed their relation rather than taking the matters into her own hands and maybe a serious protest would have forced him relenting, but her insecure heart could never muster up the courage to demand anything from her children lest they let her down and shatter her hopes apart for once and all.
So she did what felt right at that moment. Why let your opponents a chance to strike back once again, when you are highly capable of crushing their so-called dominance in the first shot itself? She had discreetly gone to the girl's house to teach her the lesson of her life! But then, that girl wasn't willing to back out so easily from what she claimed to be her only chance at true love and against her better judgment, she was forced' to dishonour her character to gain what she wanted.
As Shalini traversed the memory lane, having a self-analysis round where she alone was the convict and the critic as well, Arnav, in the meanwhile, had his thoughts running in all direction. He was holding his mother in his arms, assuring her with his comforting presence, allowing her to emerge out of her grief-stricken past memories (which she surely did) but his silent features did little good in concealing the raging storm building inside.
His tears never ceased to flow for the conclusion drawn by his mother felt like an unbearable load placed right on his heart. He felt confused, devastated, broken and hurt. Disbelief was written all over his face, when his mamma first opened up to him about her dreaded past. Agreed, her mother's past had affected her severely. Yes, he was utterly sorry for her and his grandparents. They had endured a lot because of his so-called mamaji and his wife. But that doesn't mean that she would blame every other middle class girl to be a home wrecker. Everyone's not the same, the so-called high-society's rich girls can also demand separation from husbands' family if they are unable to adjust in the new surroundings. How can mamma presume such things just on the basis of her one bad experience?
But more importantly, even if a girl wants to separate her husband from his very own family, it totally depends on the guy to either relent to her wishes or strongly oppose her. If the Man stands firmly on his ground, no wife can brainwash him. Never, against his parents or anyone for that matter.
If Sunita was successful in driving his mamaji away, then half the fault was his. He wasn't man enough to keep his family bounded. He shouldn't have believed in every statement and accusation she made devoid of any witness or strong proof. And most essentially, he shouldn't have left his parents and sister all alone. He could be in the same city, but No! He allowed himself to be a freaking robot whose remote control was handled by his wife. He acted to whatever nonsense she made him do, this was so not right.
But then all men aren't so weak like him, they don't let their wives decide things and rule over them. Atleast he doesn't belong to pathetic category of males. But clearly, his mother thinks otherwise. She had not only presumed every middle class girl as extremely manner-less, selfishly cunning, highly manipulative, gold-digging home-wrecker but she also generalized every man as nothing but a wife's puppet.
The three of them sat together in complete silence but when keeping his thoughts with himself became a task impossible, he gestured his Dad to hold to his mom and himself went and stood by the window that was previously occupied by Shalini.
The wide expanse of duskily lit sky did sooth his fraying nerves, letting him achieve a tad bit of serenity such that when he spoke, his voice was astonishingly composed and totally under control. "Mamma, aap ko sach me aisa lagta hai ke mai kisi ladki ki wajah se aap ko aur iss ghar ko chod ke chala jaaunga? (Mamma, do you seriously think that I would leave you and this house for a girl?)"
Shalini: Arnav!
Arnav: boliye mom, bas itna hi aitbaar hai aapko apni parwarish pe? (Tell me mom, is this how much you trust your upbringing?)
He wasn't meeting her eyes, if he did, she would have seen the endless bouts of tears flowing down his bloodshot eyes. Nonetheless, the hurt in his tone was enough to bring her back to the present and realize that her child was deeply hurt. Now was needed some severe damage control.
Shalini: Beta baat aitbaar ki nahi hai Arnav, try to.. (its not about trust Arnav, try to)
Arnav: Ofcourse baat aitbaar ki hi hai mamma.(ofcourse it is mamma) Deny as much as you want but we both know you don't trust anyone of us. You think any middle class girl would enter my life and I would let her break my family? You think, I would sit back and watch her insulting you or Dad? You think, I would leave this house if she tricks me into believing that you all her mistreating her? You think, I would allow anyone to break the bond that we share between each other? You think, I or Akash or Nk will become another Keshav Khanna if we marry a middle class girl, right?
Shalini gaped at him, too numb to react to the numerous questions hurled her way. Arvind, however, was in total agreement with his son.
Arvind: Ek ladki ke kiye ki saza tumhe har ek middle class ladki ko nahi deni chahiye Shalini. (you shouldn't punish every middle class girl for the mistake of one particular) On what basis, have you decided that maya would be just like Sunita? Middle class hona koi gunaah nahi hai. (Its not crime to belong to middle class) Those people are also humans, just like us. They have equal rights to lead a happy life with someone they love. Pyaar status dekh kar nahi kiya jaata aur naa hi sab ek jaise hote hai. (Love never considers status to course its way into the heart of people)
Aur jo Arnav ne kaha, tum use bhi jhutla nahi sakti. (and whatever Arnav said, is equally true) According to me, Its more your brother's fault that your family broke, that he distanced himself leaving all his loved ones behind. Ek ladki tab tak kuch nahi kar sakti, jab tak uska husband naa chahe. Its keshav and sunita both, who have wronged you and your family. Agar sunita upper class ki hoti, tab bhi shayad domestic issues ko lekar, she would have demanded separation, kya tab bhi tum middle class mentality ko blame karogi? (if sunita had come from upper class, even there are high chances that she could have demanded separation for domestic issues, tell me, would you have blamed middle class mentality even then?)
Shalini: Aap sahi keh rahe hai Arvind (you are right Arvind), anything could have happened. lekin yeh baat to aapko bhi maan ni padegi ke middle class girls are more likely to have those "issues" with her in laws. Apni saari zindagi tangi me guzaarne waali ladkiyo ko paiso ki chamak bhaa jati hai. Property, jewellery, aur bank balance ke saamne, rishte kuch maaiyne hi nahi rakhte. (Having lived the entire life in poverty, sheen of money attracts them like hell. Nothing matters to them more than property, jewellery and surplus bank balance) Whereas a girl of high stature is so pampered with every comfort of a luxurious life, there's no proper reason for her to fall so low for acquiring something as unworthy and easily-accessible as money.
Arnav: Dad ko to aapne samjha diya mamma but what about me? (Fine, mamma you have made dad understand your point but what about me? ) You never answered my question dammit.
She took a deep struggling breathe preparing herself for the herculean task ahead before walking to him and cupping his dear face in her hands, "Arnav its not that I don't trust you. Today if I am standing infront of you letting out my deepest fears, its all because of the immense faith that I have in you, in those values that I inculcated in my children. And by not by rebelling against your own mom by going after that filthy girl, you have proved to me that I haven't failed as your mother. But Arnav, mere liye apne past ko let go karna itna aasaan nahi hai. I cant bring myself to let things happen at their pace and later face the brunt of my folly when things have actually gone completely out of hands.
Trust me agar bhai ke jagah koi aur hota to shayad mai itna affect nahi hoti. But only because I have self-witnessed the drastic changes in him after the wedding, I am so repulsive of the idea. Bhai bilkul aise nahi the, woh mamma papa se beshumaar pyaar aur mujhpar apni jaan chidakte the. (My brother loved my parents and me more than his own life) He was the best son and the best brother ever. par pata nahi, us do-take ki ladki ne kya jaadu kia ke wo itne badal gae. (but hell knows, what black magic that girl did on him to change him so much)
Phir bhi, tumhaari khushi ke liye, let's just suppose I approve for your wedding with maya. And after wedding, if she starts manipulating you...
Arnav: (cutting her off in the middle) She WONT be able to mamma, Kyuki mai kisi ko apne parents ki insult karne ka haq nahi dunga. (Because I WONT allow anyone to insult my parents) No girl can ever trick me into believing something which is not true. I won't ever get manipulated by anyone's fake accuses or false stories. I promise you, it would NEVER happen.
His pleading eyes begged her to believe but Shalini had steeled her heart, long ago. "I am sorry but this promise won't change my decision. aaj us ladki ke liye tum apni mamma ko back answer kar rahe ho, who knows what future holds for me. Its better to shield myself against any ugliness rather than facing it affirming myself a fool, driven by your assurances."
Arvind: Well, even if you have changed your decision, it would have been too late Shalini. In case you don't know, Maya ki shadi ho chuki hai. (maya is married now) You have been successful so far in snatching your own son's happiness. So congrats and I believe we should take your leave now, its probably time for you to celebrate your victory.
Her husband's bitter words dint earned the desired reaction from her since she was busy framing the next sentences in her mind. Thoughts of the letter and the bookings she made earlier today, clicking back onto her memory.
Shalini: You would never understand the fear of losing someone so precious to you, agar aapko ehsaas hota toh aaj aap mere saath khade hote Arvind, mere khilaaf nahi.. (if you have realized it, you would have supported me)
Arnav: samjha to aapne mujhe nahi hai mamma. You can't trust me when I say I won't ever let you down. Mai maya se unta pyaar nahi karta jitna aapki izzat karta hu. I wont have gone against you agar aap na chahti toh. Yes, I wanted to marry her, we had dreamt of our entire life together. She was special, very special but definitely not more than you. aapke liye ek kya, mai hazaar maya sacrifice kar sakta hu. But you will never understand Mamma and janti hai kyu? Because aap samajhna hi nahi chahti. (You haven't understood me mamma. You cant trsut me when I say I wont ever let you down. I don't love maya as much as I respect you. I wont have gone against your wishes if you dint wanted me to. Yes. I wanted to marru her, we had dreamt out entire life together. She was special, very special but definitely not more than you. For you, I could have sacrificed as many as thousands of maya but you will never understand mamma and do you know why? Because, you don't want to)
With swollen red eyes, shattered hopes, inconsolable heart, traumatized soul and, defeated and dejected stance, he walked out of the room when Shalini's soft yet resolute voice stopped him dead in his tracks, "toh samjhaao mujhe Arnav (Then make me understand Arnav). Give me a strong veracity of your promise."
Taking a swift turn back with his hopes suddenly fluttering high in elevation, he immediately assented his approval, too desperate to help his mother shed her insecurities and trust him. "I am ready mamma. I will do anything to prove I am not like your older brother"
Dragging him with her on the couch, she began decisively,
If you really want to prove that you value me more than anyone, then from now onwards you won't befriend any girl whose status doesn't match ours. Koi rishta nahi rakhoge tum kisi bhi middle class ladki se..kaho, will you do this for me? (you won't maintain any relation with any middle class girl, tell me, will you do this for me?)
At his nod, Shalini's heart threatened to leap out of its cage feeling overwhelming happiness seep into her. She couldn't even come to describe how relieved she was. Her eyes overflowed with tears of pure joy, this ecstasy was what her heart longed for, her insecurities finally put to rest. Ignoring the pained expression on her husband's face, she happily professed her future plans for him
"One more thing Arnav, I saw your approval letter beta. I am so glad you are short-listed for the management course at Harvard. Tumne to mujhe bataya hi nahi but thankfully I got a hold of it in your closet. I am happy for you beta, it was always your dream to go there isn't it? And your mom has made things easy for you. You won't find me shedding buckets of tears this time. I will somehow survive few years without you. Firstly because, I don't want to obstruct your dreams and secondly, I know you need time to get over these happenings.
I have already done all the arrangements for your stay and air-bookings. Jaao beta, Go live your dreams away from this transitory nuisances. You are not prepared for marriage yet. When you will be back, I am going to select a perfect bride for you, someone who would be suitable of being your life partner and my bahu."
The moment Arvind thunderstruck gaze landed on his son, he knew it was all over. Shaking his head, he keenly noted the glowy look of happiness reflecting from his wife and the stiff rigidity settled on Arnav's otherwise expressive face, feeling like a helpless father who wasn't able to help his son against his own mother's absurdities.
Arnav: Alright Mamma, I will do as you say, Magar meri bhi ek shart hai. (I too have one condition)
Shalini: shart? (Condition?)
Arnav: haa, shart yeh ke aap mujhe shaadi ke liye force nahi karengi. (Yes, and the condition is that you won't ever force me to marry)
Shalini: what? Arnav, this is nonsense, tumhe aaj na kal to shaadi karni hai naa? (you will have to get married, one day or the other)
Arvind who already have had enough, decided to barge in.
Arvind: Shalini, usne tumhare faisle ki izzat ki hai, (he has respected your wishes) I think you should also agree to what all he is saying. After all, wo tumse zyada to nahi maang raha hai naa?
Never in her wildest dreams had she ever thought things to turn out this way. Bewildered beyond anticipation, she broke in with her voice panic-filled, " yeh aap kaisi baat kar rahe hai, mai aisa kaise.. (What are you saying? How can I just..)"
Arnav: I guess the conversation is over. Thanks for arranging the tickets Mamma, I will be leaving tomorrow then.
He silently got up from the couch, collected his things and made a move out of the room. But on the threshold, his feet at once halted. Tilting his head back a little, his unwavering gaze rested on his Mom.
Arnav: Meri shart se kuch nahi badalta Mamma. Be assured because I AM going to keep my promise. haa bas itni dua zarur kijiyega ke mujhe kabhi kisi middle class ladki se sacchi mohabbat naa ho. Kyunki jis din aisa hua, mai apna yeh promise tod dunga. (the condition that I had imposed upon you wont change anything Mamma. Be assured because I AM going to keep my promise. But on your part, please pray that I don't ever fall in love with a middle class girl. Because, the day it happens I am surely going to break my promise)
Shalini: W..What? What do you mean?
Arnav: Maya se maine pyaar zaroor kiya magar meri mohabbat me itni taakat nahi thi ke wo aapki soch badal sake. (Yes, I loved maya but my love for her wasn't strong enough to change your thoughts) I really want you to change your opinion mamma, but not at the cost of losing you. You matter to me, that's why I am going to abide by my words with complete honesty. Aaj ke baad aapko mujhse koi shikayat nahi hogi, mai kisi bhi ladki se koi ta-alluk nahi rakhunga. But I am afraid, if ever my love for someone could gain enough courage to stand against your principles, I will be breaking all of my promises then mamma. I am sorry.
And with that being said, he was out of the Mansion.
Flashback ends.
"And since that day, I have kept my words Khushi. I knew I couldn't let my mother down isliye I distanced myself from every girl. My studies and later dad's business became the centre of my universe. Akki and nk are right when they feel that I have changed. Mai sach me bohot badal gaya hu, I behave so ruthlessly with people, shout at them mercilessly and keep on abaondoning their efforts to please me but then, that's my only guard Khushi. kuch toh karna hoga na logo ko apne kareeb aane se rokne ke liye? (I will have to do something to stop people from coming close to me right?)
I try to scare everyone to stop them from seeing the real me, especially the girls. Not once I have dithered from my promise until recently. And this time, It really feels as though true love has finally knocked my door"
Looking meaningfully at her, he smiled his enchanting, you-got-it-right smile and pressing her palms once, quietly made his way out of the room, knowing fully well that she would need some time to come to terms with all the revelations.
Chapter 18 - Click here
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Edited by simmi-arshi - 10 years ago
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