Apparently, my morning began pretty late, now that it has, here comes the 30th chapter. I should be awarded you know, the fastest 30 on India Forums 😉
Also, sometimes for a story to progress conversations suffice more than drama.
Home Is Where The Heart Is - Chapter 30
A page in Payal's Diary
August 24, 2012
In wake of a world where all dreams were suspended with the weak strings of a small swing that Babuji had hung for us over the Neem tree in the courtyard, when Khushi and I fought fervently on who will get to swing first, and threatened to break the string while the other sat over its cushiony seat. When our giggles echoed from all the walls of our home, when bliss meant to feel the gentle breeze hit my face and ruffle my hair when I traveled to one extreme of its oscillation.
Such was life when the only decision to be made was to choose between Jalebi and Sohan Halwa, when the only thing that saddened was Khushi getting scolded by Amma for a small mistake, when the only thing that angered was Babuji feeding her with my share of Jalebis to make up for Amma's scorn.
That was home where we both hid behind the single thin curtain of the bedroom window fearing Buaji's wrath when Khushi had hid her spectacles. That was home, the only world I knew when I first crawled out of my cradle.
Oh Devi Maiyya tell me now, how can you take them away from us? The walls that we painted every Diwali with our very own hands, the walls that witnessed my entire childhood, where dwells the spirit my little sister's blitheness, the tease of my childhood petulance, Babuji's reverent sweat of hard work, Amma's teachings for life, her relentless perseverance that had build what I called home. My home. Our Home. Our Lucknow. Our Gomti Sadan. Our Satvik Mishthan Bhandar. Our life. My life. My heart. My soul.
Will one unlucky stroke of fate take that all away? There our parents are suffering alone, here we are so helpless. So helpless. What must they be going through? Here I am scribbling my helplessness over these lifeless pages, there at the window is Khushi, my very own chatter box, her blank eyes staring at the life outside, not a single word has escaped her mouth since Babuji's last phone call. She calls her as your greatest devotee Devi Maiyya, will you let her lose her home like that? What have you been doing with our lives in the past month? Just what? Have we ever done anything wrong? Ever hurt anyone?
^^^^
"How many days did he say?" at last she spoke after two hours of unnatural silence.
"Five." replied Payal.
"Did he sound unwell jiji?" she asked softly. "Did you tell him that we would be coming tomorrow?"
"I did not. The whole news was so depressing, it slipped from my mind to inform him and he... did not sound good Khushi."
Khushi ran to her sister and hugged her tightly, "What would we do now jiji? Amma told me once that the shop wasn't doing well and it would anyway be gone with the house now. Where will we go? A rented house? Where?"
Payal sighed and lifted herself up from the chair. "I need to do my packing."
Khushi sat in front of her idol. Her thoughts wailing in her head like caged wild beasts. There had to be some solution, she couldn't even think of making jalebis to calm her brain now. Everything was scarce. House gone. Shop gone. Fathers health gone. Aunt's pension never came. The last of the money that came from selling the land Madhumati held was now down to a few measly thousands. Not enough to last her Aunt another month. Could they leave their Aunt in that state?
With no home to call their own, Lucknow was as foreign as Delhi for the family. At least in Delhi there was a shade over their heads. Was it at all a good idea then to go to Lucknow now? Could Amma and Babuji be convinced about moving to Delhi? Even if they did, would their troubles end? They didn't have enough to start afresh. It was sickening to think how the answer to all problems was money and money was what they did not have. She thought of getting them enrolled as 'Below Poverty Line' citizens, at least they would get cheap ration then. Hell, absurd thoughts.
What about the four days she worked for AR Designs? The company did owe her the remuneration, didn't it? And you owe that monster One Lakh, don't you Khushi Kumari Gupta? The nasty fingers of the memories of a goddamned contract prodded. No way don't even think of anything to do with Raizadas, she warned herself. "Then what Devi Maiyya." she cried out loud. "Please Devi Maiyya, at least drop one hint. Whom should I go and ask help from? Shyamji? No. No. What is he, poor man living on scholarship? Show me the way Devi Maiyya, show me the way. Please. Drop a hint and let me see it."
****
Eyebrows knitted together in a brimming mixture of confusion and worry Devyani Raizada awaited her grandson's arrival. She had expressed her regret to the organizers of the Sainik Farms event over her inability to appear as the chief guest of their social gathering due to 'health reasons'. Given her love for such gatherings, the action for Devyani was a great sacrifice but it shouldn't have mattered as it was partly for her own blood and partly for the uprightness she professed.
Another stone that presently pierced at her heart was her impending resignation from SSS, she couldn't be a part of it anymore for the decision she was going to take tonight for her family in capacity of a grandmother insulted the very ideology of the organization - preservation of culture. It would be called hypocrisy now to preside over social gatherings and give speeches lauding religious ethics and Devyani Raizada was anything but a hypocrite. She had braced herself to witness from her aged eyes, what she considered to be the greatest paradox of her grandson's generation, a man and a woman living together sans nuptial vows and ties.
Her son and daughter in law sat around her flustered from her expression, asking her regarding what troubled her, she dismissed their arguments. She wouldn't say a word till Arnav arrived. He did, along with Akash an hour later. As Akash greeted her, she got up from her seat, "Chote" she called out. Arnav did regard her with a fleeting glance that screamed defiance but ran upstairs towards his room. It hurt the grandmother in her. More than that, it hurt the mother in her. She recalled with a tiny smile how her daughter would handle him so well. She was his mother after all. She remembered a summer long ago...
"Ratna, he's been like that all day" she had complained, worry written all over her face, "he wouldn't eat, wouldn't listen to me. He's too difficult a child." she huffed.
Her daughter had smiled a serene smile, "Chote is not difficult Ma, he's just different from other kids. Scold him, punish him, spank him and he will not react. Love him and he will give in."
She felt a hand on her shoulder bringing her back to the present. She turned to find Shyam smiling at her reassuringly. "You stay here Nani, I'll talk to him."
She saw Shyam nodding at Anjali and making his way towards Arnav's room upstairs. A warm feeling nestled comfortably in her heart, even if Arnav's biological parents were no longer there with him, his life did have a mother and a father figure in form of Anjali and Shyam, she wondered.
Arnav hurriedly chucked his coat on the bed and undid his tie, "If you are here to throw another genius piece of advice on Nani's behalf, I regret I won't hear any of it. I am too occupied to ponder over these petty issues." he muttered irritably.
"Well, I was here just to tell you that Nani might change her mind over your and Lavanya's relationship."
"Her stance wouldn't change mine."
"Give her sometime Arnav, she's old. You can't expect her to digest all of it so easily. If you don't want to marry Lavanya then don't, nobody will force you. I promise that. All I want is you to be sure of what you are doing. You know life is too short for regrets, and worse when you realize that you have made a mistake in past there is no undo button... "
The lawyer trailed, he was lost before he could complete his sentence, the reflection of his words on the mirror of his own life now looking at him in form of vivid images of his marriage with Anjali and his fateful meeting with Khushi three years later. Sure there was no undo button. He shook himself wondering if Arnav had caught the inconsistency in his speech- the long pause. He looked up from the carpeted floor to find Arnav walking towards the window, lost.
Lost he was, the words "when you realize that you have made a mistake in past there is no undo button" whirring an unsteady commotion in his gut. In front of his eyes was a trembling girl, pinned against a marble pillar, her eyes shining with tears pleading to be released from his hold, the next moment he hauls her up against him, reaches for her back and with a little snap of his fingers brings the clasp holding her modesty down. Sheer terror shows in her eyes- an image that has been haunting him ever since...why had he done that? What made him so mad? He clutched his palms in a tight fist, finger nails digging into his skin, he shut his eyes. He couldn't undo that now could he? What was wrong with him? Regret. He opened his eyes with a start. Regret? For doing things to her? He released his palms of the tightened fists.
"Arnav?" the sound making him realize the presence of another man in his room. He smirked, looking at Shyam straight in the eye, "So Nani gave up, huh?"
"Well, people usually give up when faced with you, don't they? Irrespective of who they are." replied Shyam lifting himself up from Arnav's bed.
"I'd refer to it as pragmatism."
****
Whether anyone else noticed it or not, Anjali could never miss the slightest misalignment in her brother's demeanor. When Nani had finally told Arnav over dinner in the presence of all the seven family members (excluding Laxmi whom Hari Prakash had taken out for an evening walk) that he could bring his girlfriend home the following day, everyone was relieved.
Manorma had even expressed her desire to start her search for a suitable girl for Akash. She had spoken of Naresh Dawani of Dawani Petroleums Pvt. Lmt.'s daughter. Also considered Rinky Kapoor, the superstar Rakesh Kapoor's pricey daughter and a bunch of other names till Akash looked like he would throw up his entire dinner. Mahendra Singh Raizada had requested his wife to give their only son some air to breathe and stop causing him mental congestion with her ideas of his big fat Indian wedding upon which he was not-so-politely asked by his wife to shut up. It had taken a little bickering between Manorma and Devyani after which to Akash's relief his mother did shut up. His father had done a fist up 'yes' when mom dearest had been quieted. While Shyam had enjoyed the entire drama, Anjali was busy noticing her other brother.
Arnav did certainly not have the look of a pleased lover. She hadn't even expected him to look like that, she knew her brother hardly reacted or showed anything on his face. But she wasn't expecting him to grin complacently when Nani had uttered the words, "I shall let you have your way." She decided she would talk to him about this the following morning.
***
Anjali found him where she had expected to find him- in the poolside garden, watering his plants. "Chote" she called out.
"When will you get over that sickly nick name?" he snapped back.
"The day your babies are born." She snickered.
"Tsk tsk... farfetched Di."
"Why? Your girlfriend's coming to live with you. You guys aren't on platonic terms, are you?" Anjali mouthed feigning shock.
"We aren't baby producing machines either" he affirmed in his deadpan dry humor.
Anjali dawdled with a stray lock of hair on her shoulder for a little while and sighed, "You don't love her. Do you?"
"Another question tag. Your speech is getting redundant Di" he waved away her question.
"You are avoiding the conversation. But let me tell you, you are not going anywhere today without answering me..."
"C'mon Di, if I had to f**k away my time, I'd prefer Barcelona vs. Man-U than this lame chit chat on To Love or Not to Love."
"Then should I assume Lavanya is just another convenient indulgence to f**k away your time?" she blurted in slight annoyance.
Arnav kept the sprinkler down, turning to face his sister, "Wow Di, you can actually use a profanity." he mumbled not making any attempt to hide his surprise that his holy harmless sister just used an f-word.
"That's not the response I had wished for." his sister said folding her hands, flushing slightly.
"If love is like in those silly rom-coms you watch all day involving adults behaving like sassy teens drooling over each other than yes, certainly, I don't love Lavanya."
"You could have said that without giving the excuse of rom-coms. But now the real point is, well, Arnav I wonder if you are doing this plainly to prove Nani wrong. Just to show her that that long nose of yours is still the highest..."
"You really think that my actions are always guided by my ego?"
"Yes. Absolutely." she nodded her head vehemently. "For even when you were small enough to fit in my lap, you had an ego as big as this room of yours."
"No Di, I am not doing this to prove anyone wrong. Truth being that Lavanya is the most agreeable woman I have met."
"And what's exactly your definition of being 'agreeable'?" she pried.
He flicked back with his finger a lock of gel deprived loose hair falling over his forehead. "A person who agrees with me."
"And Lavanya must fit the bill. You guys won't even fight." she sighed deeply.
He rolled his eyes. "She understands me."
"Do you understand yourself?" she asked softly.
He looked at her straight in the eye, "I think I do. Plus we both are like minded, she never does a thing that I may dislike and doesn't hanker for marriage."
"Ah astute ASR. Nice deal of a relationship! But alas brother, love is not about whom you can live with, it is about whom you can't live without.
"Nice play of words." he sniggered.
She continued ignoring his comment, "You know what, whether you realize it or not or whether you vehemently deny this but you actually are the kind of guy destined to fall in love at least once in your life." Anjali studied her brother for a moment, he looked serious while giving her an are-you-serious? look. She grinned, "On second thought, you should fall in love, you'd make a perfect Mills and Boon hero."
The solid masculine jaw beneath his lips twitched, he stared at the ground below for a fleeting second pursing his lips and then they spread in a wide grin and a smothered chuckle escaped him, "That uh, was f-r-e-a-k-i-n' shit." He looked up at his amazed sister, unable to suppress another chuckle, "What is it Di, too much late night reading? I should gift that lawyer husband of yours a pack of condoms to keep you sane."
Anjali's mouth fell open, she scowled and blushed crimson at the same time. Arnav heard a loud coughing sound coming from behind him and turned to find Akash who had just entered the scene to hear his brother's casual lewd remark. He smirked, "Stop over reacting virgin." he snapped. Akash turned a deeper shade of hew than his sister, 'virgin' was the nick name his elder cousin had given him years back on his eighteenth birthday...Arnav had rarely called him that off late, but he was surprised that his brother knew he had maintained the status that had won him the said 'nick name'.
"You know what Arnav I take back my words, Mills and Boon heroes aren't half as disgusting as you are." Anjali said shaking her head, "but that doesn't mean you won't fall in love."
He rolled his eyes. "Don't start it again Di, please." he said walking away.
"Oh no Chote..." she called from behind, "She'll enter your life, and before you'd realize she'd become your life. A part of you and that day you would remember our conversation. I fell in love with MJ like that and so will you one day when you find that special someone..."
He stopped at the staircase on his poolside leading to the terrace and turned, "Last thing Di, if ever such a girl falls into my life, I'd avoid her for my brain is a better functioning organ than my heart."
"You won't be able to do that Chote, for just the thought of her going away would scare the life out of you." she prophesied with aplomb of a fortune teller.
"What the..." Arnav stared at her, back to deadpanning.
Akash gaped at his sister curiously, "Really Di, that's how you realize you are in love?" That made for another eye roll from the elder brother, "See Di, you have a better candidate to enlighten. Virgin here, would rejoice in your company."
Anjali placed a protective arm over her younger cousin, "I agree. I am scared if my decent little brother sticks around too much with you, he too might end up having scandalous affairs."
"Nah, he's too good for that." he said dryly and walked away.
Akash took the seat beside his sister, "Why do you guys think Bhai and Lavanya, I mean, it won't work out for them. I often see them together Di and even I can see that they look hot together. Bhai has dated girls before but nothing has come close to this one..."
"I know Akash and Lavanya may have airs but she's a nice girl. But Arnav is ASR to her just like he's ASR to rest of the world while I had always hoped for him to find someone with whom he won't be ASR but just plain Arnav."
Akash furrowed his brows in confusion, "Right I...guess I ..."
Anjali grinned, "Aaakaaash, bro you better saunter off to Lakshmi Nagar and buy a dozen dopattas from Kailash Matching Centre and drop them in front of Payal's bedroom window."
"Right." said Akash, thankfully without blushing this time as he took off his specs, "Tell me Di, should I go with specs or without them?"
Anjali scratched her chin looking at him and then raised two fingers, "First tell me how many fingers you see?"
His glasses deprived eyes squinted, "Umm four I guess..." and they both burst out laughing. Anjali remembered another laugh- a lot suppressed and smothered one, but still it was a laugh. She was still amazed that she had seen Arnav almost laugh with nothing sadistic about it and she felt relieved. Though she doubted whether the behavior had anything to do with Lavanya but if even a trace of it was due to her, Anajli was definitely welcoming the girl with an open, warm heart.
****
The ambassador wheels whirred slowly along the Delhi roads. Intermittent traffic signals made it slower and the chaotic screech of horns and tires of the office goers made the morning journey to Hazrat Nizamuddin Railway Station a much tiring experience. Happy Singh had arranged for the taxi for the Gupta girls and Madhumati was accompanying them to the station. She sat in the back seat with Payal while Khushi was in the co-driving seat, mulling over the events of the past days with a forced sad detachment. She looked out from the window, wondering what sort of a hint Devi Maiyya had dropped her in the morning. When they were locking the outer door of Madhumati's house while leaving for the station Payal had suddenly asked her whether she had kept her idol in the suitcase lest Khushi would eat her head all the way home of how she had missed her luck! Khushi had opened her old battered suitcase to check and how right Payal had been- the idol was missing! She opened the locks and reclaimed her Devi Maiyya, all through which her aunt had been hissing Haye Re Nandkissore in several pitches.
Madhumati rummaged through her bag in the back seat and took out a small steel box, Payal turned to see what it was "Jalebis!" she exclaimed as her Bua opened the box. She slipped her hand over the lid but Madhumati gently slapped her hand away, "Not for you, these are for Titaliya, I made them in the morning" she said looking in front at Khushi as she passed her the steel box. Khushi grabbed it but not with the usual excitement jalebis caused the girl. She was still lost. Madhumati felt sad, all she had wanted was to see her niece smile again, everything seemed oddly cold and brooding without her bright smile lighting up things in their lives.
Khushi opened the lid grabbing two jalebis at a time, "Ae Sanakadevi, don't finish them all right now, I made them for the journey, haye re nandkissore what to do with this girl?" Madhumati rebuked.
Khushi stuffed the two in her mouth, chewed and licked her fingers clean, her eyes bulged, the sweetness took a toll over her senses sending her heart racing in pleasure, "ummm" she made weird sounds making the driver look at her in bewilderment. BANG she closed the lid, a huge smile brightening her small face, she turned and blinked at her Bua leaning towards the back seat and flung her arms around her neck, taking Payal and her aunt by a complete surprise.
Madhumati wheezed in her iron grip like hug, "Haye...cough...re...cough cough...Nand cough kissore" she uttered struggling to free herself. As soon as Khushi let her go, she grabbed her throat breathing heavily, "Hey Sankadevi, arre will you kill me? What's wrong with your head? Or your brain just produces mad reactions post jalebi feed." she squeaked.
The doe eyes sparkled, "Idea Buaji idea, I know the solution to our problems." she cried excited.
"What?" Madhumati and Payal cried in unison.
She turned to the driver, "Bhaiyya turn, NOW."
"Why?" asked the driver.
"Because we are not going to Nizamuddin we are going back to Lakshmi Nagar!"
****
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