The big fat Indian wedding...all things said and done, it's a production that could easily give an Ekta Kapoor serial some serious competition, won't you agree? And whether you're attending a Sindhi soiree or a Marwadi blowout affair, the cast and crew of this play tends to remain largely common. So we present to you the most interesting characters, ones that give Indian weddings their inimitable flavour. Enjoy!
1. The Eternal Matchmakers
This middle-aged lady's sole purpose of being at the wedding is to scan every eligible' boy and girl with her marital scanner in the hopes of fixing them up before the festivities come to a close!
2. The Eat-All-You-Cans
The buffet is set? Attack! Why waste time congratulating the couple and their family when you can be stuffing your face instead, right? At least their cutlery-smacking tendencies help the family get the most of the per plate charge they've paid!
3. The Bling Ring
Did someone say lets outshine the bride? These thunder stealers look like their jewellery box threw up on them. With their questionably heavy attires, they are all about giving the bride a serious run for her money... or her Sabyasachi! Not to forget that they are also scouting for cute guys' the whole time. Might as well make the most of being all dolled up, na?
4. The Little Monsters
Cute little angels, did you say? Well think again. That aaaww' moment instantly evaporates when these devils in disguise tug at your sari pallu (don't they know long it took to drape?!), drool, quite literally, over your new Surendri outfit and hijack the stage during your sangeet performace.
5. Alcoholic Anonymous
The happy couple be damned, this one is here only for the open bar. Cut the man some slack, he actually took an effort to change out of yesterday's clothes and put on a clean suit. Now hand him his JD without further ado! Dancing with whiskey bottle / glass on the head is his biggest achievement.
6. The Disco Dancers
Move over Mithun, Jeetendra and Prabhu Deva. Uncle dearest is all set to hog the dance floor. Alas, it's with moves that are probably best left in the 70s.
7. The Unofficial Photographer
My heart goes out to this one (not!) "forever stuck retaking pictures of the pretty (or not) ladies until they score the perfect Facebook display picture (read: one that can get them more than 100 likes!). Once they hit click, there's no turning back.
8. The Gab Fest
Meet Shalini aunty. From Delhi. She love to talk " about the new car her husband gifted her, her brand new diamond set, her son's current salary, heck even her grandson's bathroom cycle. Once she catches hold of you, prepare for your ears to bleed out...and then some more! Plus, let's not rule out the enthusiastic teenager who will fight for her choices and arranged marriages!
9. The VIPs
No matter how high profile the family of the bride and groom, there is still those select few ultra important guests (think business tycoon, politician, even if small time, celebrity et all) who make the hosts stand rapt in attention and fuss after them, putting everything else on hold for the moment.
10.The Unidentified
This nonchalant gent struts through the wedding oblivious to everyone and everything, even the curious glances being shot his way. "He is Mr. Sharma's younger son," says one while the other swears he is the bride's brother's best friend. Well, your guess is as good as mine!
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