Unknowingly /On Hold/ Note on Page 1 - Page 30

Sorry Sorry Sorry I am late but here is the update, hope you like it, because I am nervous after writing it about your reactions.

Oh Yobmott before I forget you are forgiven darling and you are welcome to surprise me sometimes with your comments.

Part- 18 (an insight)

Click here to watch the video (listen to this when you read)

Khushi helped him to wear the shoes and both left her apartment and walked together towards the elevator.

Arnav looked at the woman walking by her side from his peripheral vision. Power and confidence oozing out from every step she took looking ahead. Her face set in an expression of no expression. Her steady gaze not missing anything around and he knew that.

He smiled, tough nut really!

A drunken neighbor of her came out of the elevator. He was about to stumble on Arnav's injured hand, but Khushi's hand shot up in time as she pulled him a little towards her, letting the man fall flat on the ground.

The man groaned and stayed there not moving an inch, drunk to the core to even move. Arnav held his right hand out for him to take and help him up but Khushi clasped her hand in his outstretched hand and turned him tothe opened door of the elevator. She dragged him in, muttering something like, "Let him. Aaise bhi apne biwi ko dekhte hi uski sari utar jani hai."

The way she said it made him chuckle shaking his head. As the lift descended he kept his eyes on her when she chose to check her messages in her phone. She was in same attire and her hair down still. She looked different, much young and pretty.

They walked out of the elevator and she showed her little old open blue jeep in the parking.

As Arnav climbed on the passenger seat and waited for Khushi to take the driver seat, he saw confused as she walked to the back of the jeep and then came back with an oversize (for her) black zip up hoody.

But soon his confusion changed into amusement when she wrapped the jacket around him without a word and went to take the wheel.

He looked down at the jacket and then at her smiling in content. He leaned deeper in the plush seat when she bent down to him to buckle his seat belt brushing her fingers over his torso, breathing on his lips and then on his neck. He felt warm for whole different reason.

The warm feeling of been taken care of by the woman he loved. He loved her and at this moment he was sure more than ever.

The drive was silent but peaceful and both reveled in the moment.

Suddenly Khushi's phone rang breaking the silence and as she glanced at the screen her eyes automatically shifted to Arnav who was fast asleep.

She shook her head and stopped the jeep before taking the call.

"Hello Dad." There was smile in her voice.
"Why are you awake still?" Shashi said in mock sternness.
"Really dad!" The smile on her face was genuine and out of pure glee.
"Okay wrong question, are you okay?" Shashi too smiled on the phone.
"Yeah I am fine." She said, the still intact on her face.
"Sure". He wasn't convinced, the distress on his daughter's face this morning refused leave from his memory.
"Yes Dad." She reassured, little forcefully.
"No I don't think so." This time Shashi's voice held mischief, which she sure missed.
"Why?"
"Because, in your normal state you don't call me Dad' so many times in one single call." He laughed.
"Are you complaining?" Khushi had to chuckled hearing her father's hearty laugh.
"Dare I?" said Shashi in feigned anger.
She laughed in answer.
"Keep laughing darling; it's like music to my ears." Shashi's voice sounded heavy with emotions.
Her smile faltered for a moment before she said, "I am trying Dad... I am trying really."
"I know Dear and keep trying, you have a whole life ahead." Shashi pleaded almost.
"Who knows?" Khushi answered little absently but soon her father's stern voice brought her back in her senses.
"Khushi..."
"Sorry Dad just a slip okay now I need to go. Will meet you tomorrow." She apologized soon knowing what impact her impact her words had made on her father, who loved her immensely.
"Come back home sweetheart. We miss you." Say it a request or plea, but Shashi said almost every late night talk of theirs.
"Dad... " She protested.
"Khushi..." He tried to speak but Khushi cut him knowing well that Arnav could wake up any moment and hear their conversation.
"Dad can we talk about this later."
"*sigh* sure." Shashi knew that the discussion was over.
"I love you Dad, you know that right." Hearing his defeated voice Khushi couldn't help saying that and heard him answer enthusiastically almost immediately.
"So do I sweetheart. Bye. Good night."
"Good night Dad."
And she kept the phone. She looked to her left and sighed in relief seeing Arnav still sleeping.

She started the car not noticing his little furrowed eyebrows or the twitch in the corner of his eyes, which stated clearly he was wide awake all the while and heard everything. Even the words Shashi spoke on the other side, loud for a silent night.

She stopped the car before the gate of Shanivan and called Arnav to wake him up. He stirred open his eyes acting almost to perfection of getting awake just then.

Both got down and walked together to the main door side by side.

"Good night" Khsuhi softly whispered before turning to leave once they reached the threshold.

But he tugged her hand silently and kissed her goodnight and goodbye in both of her cheeks making her smile faintly.

She looked into his eyes with an expression which he couldn't understand but then he felt the most feathery touch ever on his lips of hers. It felt like she was worshiping him, letting him know that he was special for her.

But soon she stepped back and turned to left.

He kept staring at her retreating back wondering about her strange behavior and also about the phone conversation he happened to eavesdrop.

Click here to watch the video (another song, yes but please listen)

He stared at the photo on the wall.
His once happy family.
His wife smiling at him in pure childlike joy and his parents watching her with all the love and pride in the world.

He closed his eyes swallowing the lump hard. Unable to stand in front of the wall any longer he turned only to find Khushi standing behind looking at him intently.

He tried to smile but he knew it came out more like a grimace.

She said nothing just looked over his shoulder to the photo frame and said something which made his heart stop and eyes closed in pain as his unshed tears found release,

"I don't want to end up in front of a wall staring at his photo and living holding the pieces of memories when I can keep him alive and see him until my last breath from afar, at least I can hope for that."

And Abhay broke down falling on his knees.

The blast...

The burning house...

The smell of burnt flesh...

And the scattered pieces of bodies of his loved ones reappeared before his eyes, as if they had ever left him.

Khushi too went down on her knees beside him hugging him close to her heart.

Two souls wept for same loss and same fear, together in silence.

He heard her whisper "Don't do what you did today again... I can't put him on Line... I love him too much for that..."

She cried out his innermost secret before the only person she knew would understand him and he did.

He took her in his arms, both cried on each other's shoulder.

They spoke simultaneously. Each speaking their heart and at the same time answering each other's unasked questions.

"I couldn't save her Khushi."

"And I want to save him Abhay."

"All I have their memories, her memories."

"I don't want him to become just memory."

"It hurts Khushi to even breathe without her."

"I know it hurts a lot but I am ready to bear the pain if in return I can see him living his life healthy and happy."

"Khushi, don't do this to yourself, you still have a chance." Abhay said coming out of the embrace, concerned for his friend, his sister.

Khushi shook her head as she said in strained voice "I don't want to take a chance, last time I did, I lost Kavi and the guilt is too much for me to live through it. And I didn't love him the way he did. But Arnav, I already know I love him. I won't be able to live if anything happens to him. I will shot myself to death"

"Shhh... Abahay hushed her, understanding her predicament and smiled in spite of their terrible state as he said "at least you accepted that you love him."

"I do, I do, I am in love with him since a while now." Khushi confirmed.
Both chuckled through their despair.

A figure turned from the door and exhaled painfully, his throat choked in pain.

NK had never seen his friends in such despair before and he couldn't bring himself to go in and be their strength because he was powerless in their common fear.

Isn't for the same reason that he never bedded a girl without protection? Isn't for the same reason that he took great care not to spill a single seed of him in any of them?

It wasn't that he is scared to commit or love but yes he was scared to father a child.

What if his child too ended up in an orphanage after being born and brought up for ten years in a household full with love and care of his parents, just to discover one fine day that he had no body in this world.

He sat down on the stairs of the small veranda unable to take another step towards his friends, who sat on the ground inside the house hugging each other. He looked up at the night sky searching for his parents he had lost some 15-16 years back.

******

beautiful update. I can see khushi giving up her love for arnav but hope arnav does put all his efforts to make sure khushi is with him forever nd happy.continue soon